A/N This story got really Meta fast… Anyways, third chapter.

"Let's take a break from sparring," Akame offered.

I was flat on my back and covered in bruises. Akame didn't hold back even though it was just training. She aimed for my vital spots intentionally. It was almost like she wanted to cause permanent damage to me.

If you ask me, Akame is the perfect assassin. I haven't seen her in battle, but from the way she ruthlessly attacks an ally, (i.e. me), I can tell she kills without hesitating.

"Let's take a break from spar-"

"I heard you the first time!" I said, slowly getting on my feet. Akame didn't seem to notice my little outbreak.

"I want fish today," Akame stated, patting her stomach.

"So, are we going to the market or…" I trailed off, seeing Akame wander into the forest nearby.

When I finally caught up to her, we were on the shore of a beautiful blue lake with a waterfall gently crashing down. "This is a nice place," I commented. As usual, Akame ignored me.

"We're here to catch the Koga tuna," Akame said before taking off her shirt. "Do you know how to swim?"

"You underestimate me," I said with a grin, pulling my shirt off.

"I hope so." Akame replied, jumping into the pool.

Given that I caught 0 fish, I suppose it was fair that I was responsible for the cooking. Akame said she would help out but I think she was only there to snack on whatever I finished cooking.

"Your cooking is delicious. I knew there was a reason why the boss let you join Night Raid!" Akame said excitedly. Apparently, I was only there to cover for the lack of cooking talent in Night Raid.

"Thanks..." I replied.

Then, I heard the most obnoxious laughter I ever heard behind me. "You're looking good, newbie. That outfit really fits you!" I turned around and found four members of Night Raid, carrying their teigu.

"Are you guys going somewhere?" I asked.

"Yup," Bulat replied. "We're going on an emergency assignment."

"What about me?"

"What about you? You think the boss is going to put you on such an important mission like this? With your inexperience, you're bound to mess it up!" Mine said with a superior tone.

"Besides, you're indispensable as a cook!" Akame added. That only made Mine burst out laughing again, and let me tell you first-hand, her laughter made you want to tear you hair out.

"Don't worry, Tatsumi," said Lubbock, "That's how Mine shows her affection!" Mine immediately stopped laughing, which I am forever grateful for, and coolly walked away. "Does that mean she doesn't like me?" Sheele mumbled just loud enough for me to hear.

"You'll get your turn," Bulat said gently, "Bye, Tatsumi!"

"Bye." I responded, looking at them jealously.

My "turn" came sooner than expected. The following day, Leone came back with a request from a client.

"Our client says there's a high-ranking official who takes away children for his own personal pleasure. It's been going on for the last year but recently the kidnappings suddenly became more frequent. The children are never heard from again."

"Have you confirmed it, Leone?" Boss asked.

"Yes," Leone replied, "I saw him walking down the alley along with a few unconscious boys."

"Tatsumi, what do you think?" Boss asked me, looking at me intently.

"I think what he's doing is absolutely disgusting! Please let me carry out this mission!" I said.

The Boss grinned. "All right! This will be your first mission. Take out..." Boss trailed off. "Leone, whose the target?"

"Kramble the Bull" Leone said while laughing. "And you sounded so cool too!"

Without a word, Akame got up and left. It annoyed me to death so I said to her loudly, "See, I am capable to become an assassin."

"The survival rate of new recruits on their first mission is less than 5%." Akame stated quietly. "Your arrogance would surely lead to your downfall."

She walked away without looking back. Leone dropped her carefree attitude and grabbed me by the shoulders. "If you die, Akame will be sad. So don't die!"

I didn't believe her. Akame never cared for me. She mostly ignored me for the duration I was in Night Raid.

"Of course, I'll survive, Leone. There's no way I could die without changing this world!"

My plan was simple. I'll wait outside the bar where Kramble usually drank at. When he comes out, I'll go up to him and ask him for spare change. As I am still a youthful and vulnerable-looking boy, I should be a tempting target to kidnap. To do this, he'll have to lead me to an isolated place and there, I will overtake him and kill him.

After Kramble staggered out of the bar, I quickly ran up to him. "Please mister, can you spare me a few coins?" I asked in my most innocent tone possible. Kramble stood there and stared at me for a good ten minutes before replying.

"You seem to be a good boy! Follow me, I think I dropped my wallet in the alley over there!" Kramble said and started laughing heartily. For him to be this happy, it was absolutely despicable. He grabbed my hand and led me to an isolated alley.

I slowly reached for my sword without letting him see, but before I could unsheathe it, Kramble took a swing at me. I easily dodged it. "What are you doing, mister?" I asked, trying to pull my hand out of his.

"Ahh... I guess I blew my cover! That just means I'll have to take you by force!" Kramble swung at me again, missing again. I tried kicking his genitals but Kramble didn't even flinch. Kramble continued to swing at me but none of his hits connected. His drunk movements were too slow to hit me.

However, at this rate, I would be too tired to dodge his barrage for much longer and it didn't look like Kramble was tiring out. I did the only thing I could think of; I bit into his hand with as hard as I could until I tasted blood. It was not at all pleasant.

While roaring in pain, Kramble threw me onto the floor with so much force that I coughed out blood, both his and mine. But, this meant he lost his grasp on me. After getting up, I unsheathed my sword and glared at him angrily.

"You play dirty, kid! It only makes me want you that much more!" Kramble charged at me, rapidly gaining speed. "Let me show you why they call me 'the Bull,'"

I waited until the Kramble was close before jumping over him, using his head as a launch pad. Disoriented, Kramble ran into the wall. He fell down flat onto the ground.

Kramble was out cold. I walked over to him, and with one swift strike, separated his head from the rest of his body.

"That'll teach you to mess with me," I said as coolly as I could to a dead body.

"I'm back," I called out as I walked into the hideout. I was brimming with arrogance after my victory. I smirked, seeing Akame look at me with wide eyes and waited for her apology for doubting my abilities.

The next thing I knew, I was pinned down on the ground. Akame swiftly stripped me down to my underwear and carefully examined me.

"What are you doing?" I asked, my face bright red. I had expected maybe a hug at most but definitely not this.

"There's no way Akame is considering me as a viable option for sexual intercourse," I thought to myself. Yet, the situation I was in certainly suggested it.

"Thank god," Akame whispered to me with her hands on my thighs. Her red eyes stared at me happily.

"Ple...please get off!" I stammered in embarrassment. It amazed me to no end how Akame was able to do all this so blatantly. But, it wasn't the time to be admiring her shamelessness. If someone caught us in this position...,

"Oi! Hi, Tatsumi!" Leone said, casually interrupting my thoguhts. "...did I catch you guys at a bad time?"

Akame slowly stood up. "No. Do you need to talk to Tatsumi about something?" My jaw dropped. How could Akame be so oblivious to the social consequences of her actions?

"Put some clothes on, Tatsumi!" the boss commanded as she walked into the hall. "I assume you completed the mission, unharmed?" She glanced at Akame.

"He did. I checked everywhere," Akame replied. I sighed in relief. It all made sense now!

Boss smiled. "Then, you'll be working with Mine next."

"That stuck-up brat?"

She started laughing in response. "I'm sure you'll have a great time," she said with a wave of a hand as she left.

"You should get some rest," Akame said. "I'm going to give you one hell of a training session before she comes back."

A/N I know I said this was going to be "A complete twist on the Akame ga Kill plot," but it was too hard (for me) to change much from the first mission.