Author's note: I'm baack! This update is a little different is all from Damon's perspective which was definitely challenging. Hopefully you enjoy it! Also, I've left it all with the English spelling since you guys have assured me that you don't mind. Happy reading!

Present Day -

Damon exited the college building with an explosive slam of the door, his entire body vibrating with a dangerously intoxicating and powerful sense of helplessness. Stepping out into the cold, calm night, he turned his head towards the sky and willed himself to not fall off the deep end. His mind wandered relentlessly, the prevailing thought of his almost-kiss with Bonnie sufficient to fuel his downward spiral. He most certainly would've kissed her if she hadn't halted him. If she hadn't reminded him of Elena – the woman who was supposed to be the love of his life. Yet there he'd been, captivated by Bonnie Bennett and the terrifying prospect that he had been successful in his attempt to drive her away. "I don't…hate you" she had whispered with an expression so vulnerable and beautiful, it had made him fall for her harder. He'd intentionally hurt her with his words in a desperate attempt to make her give up on him and yet, any other answer other than the one she gave would've destroyed him. He couldn't stand the thought of her hating him. There was something about her that gripped a part of him and he was unable to let it go irrespective of how hard he endeavoured to turn away from it. At that admittance, he rushed forwards and flipped a bench over in his blind fury, his body exploding with a delirious sense of frustration. More than anything, he yearned for a good bottle of bourbon.

"Hey! Are you okay?" a quiet, apprehensive, female voice sounded from behind him and within a nanosecond, he felt himself turn into the predator he was.

His demeanour changed, his body suddenly on high alert, his eyes narrowing and the veins in his face surfacing as he turned to face what turned out to be a petite college girl. Sane, in-control Damon vanished and became replaced by self-destructive Damon. He had almost forgotten how much he missed the hunt and this version of himself. The feeling of invincibility, the power and the elated high that came with being in control of human life which was fragile and meaningless. How had he ever given it up? Oh, how he had forgotten how alive this made him feel.

"Sir?" she repeated, a hint of fear now entering her voice.

He regarded her coolly, watching whilst she glanced behind her discreetly, checking to see whether they were alone. Unfortunately for her, they were. Her formerly uneasy expression mixed with curiosity was now replaced by one of terror. He felt exhilarated, feeling the fear exude from her body in waves whilst the sound of her heart racing in her fragile little ribcage filled his ears. To his dismay, it instantaneously prompted a brief memory of Bonnie and the way her heart had also sped up the moment he had stepped closer to her. Desperate to shut and barricade away all traces of her, he stepped closer to the stranger, the blood surging to his face and the veins resurfacing. It wasn't until the girl spun into motion by letting out a heart wrenching scream and whirling to bolt that he snarled, shot forwards and compelled her to remain rooted to the spot.

"Please, please, please," she begged her eyes closed firmly whilst her body trembled, a stream of tears flowed freely from her eyes.

This was the part where he usually tore out their heart or throat, he had mercilessly done it countless times before however, he found himself deliberating his next move.

"There's always a choice. Whenever you make one, someone else suffers."

This wasn't a random act of violence, it was a calculated, strategic move which would solve his problem. Killing this girl would undoubtedly result in Bonnie's anger and hatred. It would be an act that definitively drew a line in the sand – there wasn't a soul on this earth who loathed reckless Damon more than Bonnie Bennett and the slaughtering of an innocent life was an unforgivable act in her books. There would be no coming back. He willed himself to make the move and end the girl's life with one swift motion, but he was unable to turn off the distinct voice in the back of his mind which screamed at him to stop – to not dive off the deep end.

"You feel remorse, it's what makes you different from Kai. It means there's hope for you."

He breathed heavily, once again regretting that he lacked the assistance from a good bottle of bourbon. Being drunk would have made this decision much easier. He had no idea when domesticated Damon had overpowered the previously conquering impulsive Damon. With that thought, he felt a memory surge to the forefront of his mind.

Flashback –

Damon cursed under his breath and sounded the horn impatiently as he stopped behind yet another queue of cars. It was 5th February, the night of Bonnie's birthday and he was in a rush to get back. He'd spent the day out of town sorting out Alaric, who had been struggling with the loss of Jo and as a result had become a grieving, drunken mess. He had fully intended to make it back in time, however trying to make Ric see sense had proven to be more difficult than he'd initially anticipated.

"C'mon, c'mon, c'mon," he hummed under his breath whilst drumming his hands on the steering wheel.

After twenty minutes of no movement, he glanced at the time and grimaced. If he didn't make a move now, he'd miss it.

"I'm sorry, baby," he murmured to his Camaro regretfully before flooring the gas and driving manically through the traffic, gesturing rudely at the cars who sounded their horns. Ignoring several red lights, he managed to arrive at the Salvatore boarding house in good time by which the party appeared to be in full swing. Greeted by many unfamiliar faces, he fleetingly regretted agreeing to host what had been pitched to him as a 'small gathering'. Stepping into the foyer, he grabbed a bottle of bourbon he had stored in one of the cabinets and began to weave his way through the crowd towards a blonde head full of curls. Caroline appeared to be in a highly animated conversation with a waitress who looked stricken. Feeling somewhat charitable – he stepped in her line of vision to distract her.

"Where's the birthday girl then?" he asked opening the bottle and taking a long, slow, satisfying swig.

"What?! I was hoping you knew!" she retorted her eyes flying wide with panic.

"You mean she isn't even here yet? It's almost midnight," he murmured almost to himself, his brow furrowing in concern and confusion.

"I know. I texted her to come here, but we haven't heard back. I assumed she'd be with you!" she said pulling out her phone again. From the look of alarm in her face, he could practically see her control-freak wheels turning. "I'll call her again."

"Don't. I'll find her," he promised simply.

Shoving the bourbon into her arms remorsefully, he stalked out of the house and into his Camaro.

…

The abandoned park was several miles past the high school and was surprisingly easy to find. Somehow, he knew that'd be exactly where she was. Stepping out of the car, he spotted her instantly sitting on the swing set with her legs crossed in front of her. The total silence aside from the sound of leaves crunching beneath his boots was eerie – even for him.

"You're missing the surprise party," he called out as he approached her, his voice making her jump.

Bonnie quickly ducked her head and wiped her eyes, an action that did not go unnoticed by him. She had been crying, that much was evident and served to sadden him.

"You just ruined the surprise," she retorted with a small, gentle smile. He had to admit it, she was pretty good – and perhaps if he hadn't grown to read her so well, he would've fallen for the façade. However, he noticed everything. The way her green eyes which were usually bright and full of light appeared sad and broken, a look he didn't appreciate seeing on her features.

"Don't tell Caroline – she'll kill me. She's already freaking out – why else do you think I'm here to hide?" he said, earning a small laugh. He sat on the swing adjacent top hers and turned to trap her gaze in his.

"How did you find me?" she asked hesitantly after a beat.

"Are you kidding me?! You chewed my ear off talking about this place pretty much every chance you got for months," he shot back, desperate to wipe the sombre look from her face and hear her jovial laughter once more.

"So you were listening to me!" she exclaimed with a raised eyebrow, the corners of her lips tugging upwards. "Who knew?"

"You say it like I had a choice in the matter. In case you can't recall correctly, we were stuck in 1994," he countered shoving his swing sideways so that it bumped with hers.

"You're an ass."

"I've got a great ass, I'm sure you've noticed," he winked and waggled his eyebrows ridiculously resulting in her bursting out in laughter.

"Whatever," she said finally with a roll of her eyes.

They sat side by side, allowing another brief silence to stretch out between them. It was evident that something was amiss – however he also knew her well enough to give her space. She would tell him if and when she was ready, thus all he could do for now was ensure she wasn't alone. He wondered how long she'd been here for. Hours? The whole day? He chastised himself internally for leaving her in the first place.

"I'd almost forgotten how much I used to love coming here," she said quietly, her small voice distracting him from his thoughts. "My mom used to bring me here pretty much every day, y'know? I loved it. I loved feeling the wind on my face as she propelling me further and further towards the sky. I felt free, as if I could fly away if I wanted to. Pretty stupid, huh?"

He remained silent, allowing her to vent and get it all out.

"Every day we would come here until one day, she just wasn't around anymore. I mean, I was five at the time so I could barely understand why mom left, but it hurt all the same. So I never came back here…until I saw her again. Since then, I come here whenever I need to think – but I guess you knew that already," she finished, her voice shaking marginally.

He somehow managed to resist the overpowering urge to get out of the goddamned swing and pull her frame into his arms in an attempt to chase away all of her demons. Instead, he settled for listening. He understood the anguish that came with abandonment and the vacant hole it left in your heart – after all, Lily had done the same to him. He and Bonnie were kindred spirits, two shattered souls as a result of things beyond their control.

"I want to hate her. I want to erase her from my mind, I do and yet every birthday I wait to hear something, anything from her and every birthday she lets me down," she admitted with a sharp intake of a breath. "At least she's consistent. But I guess it's high time I accept the fact that I'm an orphan."

"Screw her Bon. You don't need her. I'll only say this once, and if you repeat it to anyone I'll deny it with every bone in my body but you're stronger than this. Your mother left you when you were a baby and look at the way you've turned out! It's her loss. Don't let her ruin a single day of your life because that gives her more credit than she deserves and you not enough. You're pretty incredible, Bonnie Bennett," he said firmly, desperate to make her see herself the way he saw her. "Besides, take it from me, family is overrated."

Inhaling a deep breath, she used the back of her hands to wipe her face once more before turning to look at him with an unreadable expression which unnerved him. She was usually an open book.

"What?" he barked after a while as she continued to watch him carefully.

"Nothing. I just can't believe how wrong I was about you," she smiled, watching him tenderly as if she was finally seeing something she hadn't seen before. "You're not an evil maniacal soul after all, who knew?" she added playfully, leaning against the frame of the swings, her green eyes once again familiarly dancing in the dark night.

"Nobody will know because I will kill you if you ever repeat those words to anyone," he replied standing upright and walking briskly to stand before her.

"Care to join civilisation again and stop giving your mom any more power over you?" he asked offering her his hand.

She regarded his outstretched hand coolly, and turned to catch his eye levelly. He would probably never tell her this, but she was certainly one of the strongest people he'd ever met. It baffled him that he hadn't noticed it the first time they'd met.

Taking his hand decisively, she allowed him to pull her to her feet easily.

"Good choice because if we skip the party, Caroline will ensure we join the dead," he said as they headed towards the car. "And remember to look really surprised," he instructed.

Laughing softly, she fell into step with him and stayed silent until they reached the car.

"Hey Damon…thank you."

"Don't mention it," he said gently. "No really, don't mention it," he joked before slipping into the car and the conversation was never brought up again.

Present Day -

As the memory dissipated, the girls hysterical crying brought him back to the present. He blinked, looking as if he had just woken up from a spell and decisively stepped forwards. Ignoring her loud sob, he took her face into his hands and finally settled on his next move. His face became lax and he locked his eyes with hers, compelling her memories away. Releasing her, he stepped back and watched as she blinked in confusion, threw him a perplexed glance before hurrying in the opposite direction.

It wasn't until the girl disappeared around the corner that came the realisation that the moment on the swings had been the first steps which contributed to making him fall for her. It had been the first time he had felt something non-platonic towards her, and he hadn't realised that until tonight. If not for that moment, he more than likely would have killed that girl. However the memory had reminded him of the person he wanted to be – the person she'd seen in him that night and continued to see ever since then. The person over time he'd grown to want for himself – that had been how he'd given it all up.

He could never allow himself to pursue anything with Bonnie as that would be betrayal – but he also wasn't ready to let her go just yet either.

Damon stormed into his house with a lot of pent up inner turmoil still coursing through him – yes, he'd decided to let the girl run free but nevertheless, the issue that he'd almost kissed Bonnie remained. Distracted by his own demons, it wasn't until he was reaching for a bottle of his finest bourbon when the sudden sensation that he wasn't alone came. Swivelling around, he regarded the young, blonde witch who sat neatly on his leather couch.

Ebony.

"You're getting lazy in your old age, Damon!" she exclaimed taking a sip out of the glass of Whiskey she held in her hand.

"You're drinking my liquor, so now I'm pissed off," he retorted crossing his hands over his chest, a dangerous glint entering his eye. "

"It's a good job I came bearing good news then," she said calmly.

Ebony, was a witch he'd assigned years ago to look into the spell Kai had cast on Elena and Bonnie and he'd never heard back. After a year passed, he had assumed that she'd given up searching and that Kai had been right in declaring the spell to be seamless. But here she was, finally appearing to report back something and despite himself, he felt a feeling of hope rise in his chest. If Ebony was here, it meant that there was a way to bring Elena back.

"Well? Are you going to tell me or am I going to have to pry it from you?" he drawled, hiding the anticipation which was building within him.

"There is a way to bring her back," she started and instantaneously, the rest of the words blurred into nothing. He could see her mouth moving but her words fell on deaf ears.

There is a way to bring her back.

Elena.

He could have her brought back to him. The juxtaposing feeling of elation and unease pummelled him in the chest so furiously he staggered backwards, his eyes wild. Taking a sip out of the glass he was carrying, he closed his eyes and took a deep breath in.

"…the Bennett witch."

Damon snapped out of his daze and focused back into the conversation, his curiosity peaked at Bonnie's involvement.

"What of her?" he asked arranging his features carefully into a neutral expression, careful not to give anything away.

"Have you been listening to anything I've said or did you stop thinking with your head and start thinking with your groin the moment I mentioned your precious Elena Gilbert?" she sighed placing the glass onto the desk with a loud clutter and standing upright. "The witch is the key to the spell. To break a spell that powerful, that calculated – I need ancient dark magic. That's our only shot, and if the rumours are correct, there's a little Bennett witch running around with exactly what we need."

"No."

"You don't understand, she's a lost cause. The power she has will turn her soul dark and drive her insane before it kills her. Her days are marked either way, at least this way – good can come out of it," she persisted.

"No. No. No."

"I know she's important to Elena but this is different, she won't blame you. Either way, Bonnie Bennett is going to die, at least this way we can–"

Surging forwards at his supernatural speed, he grabbed the front of her shirt and pressed her against the wall, his eyes large with fury.

"I said the witch is off-limits. Do you understand?"

Ebony searched his eyes, looking puzzled until an expression of realisation dawned on her. Her eyes widened in surprise and she opened her mouth as if to say something before closing it again.

"I think I do," she finally replied.

He released her and stepped away turning and dragging his hand through his hair in exasperation before throwing the glass into the fireplace. The shards of glass scattered on the wooden floor and the heat of the fire served to warm the cold, numb feeling that had settled over him.

"I should probably inform you that it won't matter what we do. She is going to die. Either by the magic she now wields or by another witch trying to channel that magic. If I heard about her, countless others did. I already know of two witches who are in Mystic Falls for that very purpose."

The sudden fear and panic that settled over him was blinding – without a second thought, he shot out of the door.

Author's note: That's all folks! I'd like to thank everyone who has left me a comment and continues to show their enthusiasm for this story - you are quite literally my inspiration. There's nothing that makes me want to write more than the knowledge that people actually enjoy what I'm producing so thank you!

Secondly, I hope the flashback which in this chapter is actually woven into the story in the middle as it's a pivotal moment in Damon's decision wasn't confusing. I usually try to make them separate from the story so that it's easier to follow but it didn't feel right to do it like that in this chapter.

Anyhow, pretty please leave me a review and let me know what you think. This was a difficult chapter and I'm dying to know what you thought!