Ichiraku Ramen Stand

"What Is THIS GORGEOUS RAMEN?!" I ask, staring at the golden broth, thick noodles floating with steamed bok-choy, thin sliced beef, fermented cabbage, sweet potato, and some type of thin white mushroom.

"HEhehehehe, I know right. I'm so glad there's another who appreciates Ichi-Jiji's masterpieces." He grins, slapping his hand on my shoulder then digging into his first bowl, while I started on my own.

"It's so Good~" I can't help but whimper, shoveling down the noodles as fast as Naruto. But looking over at his bowl, I poke his arm with my chop sticks, talking around the noodles in my mouth,

"Why -slurp- Aren't there any veggies or mushrooms in your bowl?" I ask, a little worried that even the Ichirakus were against him in this universe when Naruto answered back,

"Veggies? Blagh, gross. Why would you want something like that to taint ramen?" he answers sticking his tongue out.

"Why? Jesus there so much I find wrong with that on so many levels. As a cook, as a ninja, a human being, as your friend." I say raising my eyebrows, slurping down the noodles in my bowl and picking it up to start drinking.

"You consider me a friend…?'' Naruto asks, shocked.

"Yeah, you idiot. Now, the reason for the bok-choy is simple, it adds mass to your meal, so you feel fuller sooner, it's also got huge amounts of vitamins and minerals in it, and so you won't be such a pip squeak if you eat it. The pickled cabbage actually does the opposite function, cleansing your pallet so that the next bite tastes even better and keeps the oil and fats in the broth from coating your tongue. It also adds sulfur and nitrates to your diet, used in your body to make muscles." I lecture, then drain my bowl and sigh, feeling satiated.

"JIJI! Is this true?!" Naruto asks, shocked and amazed.

"Yes Naruto, its why I tried to get you to eat them when you first got here but you seemed afraid of them so I took them out."

"Well, I guess, I could add them back in, give me two bowls of what Tao's having." He says, somewhat hesitantly as Ichi-Jiji beams and shouts,

"Right on it!"

LATER THAT NIGHT AT AN APARTMENT IN THE REDLIGHT DISTRICT:

Depressed sobbing filled the neat, tiny apartment.

"WWWHwhwhwhwwyyyyyyyy!? There were so many gorgeous racks! So many miles long legs, so many beautiful faces, why!?"

I sobbed, having a tantrum on the floor with Naruto looking on completely confused about what I was talking about.

"What? Did you really think your body would just magically respond TEN years early?"

'But it's not fair, in this universe I'm literally within walking distance of a 5-ryo blowjob and I'm not even able to get a hard on!'

"You…agghhhhhhhhh, god, you hit puberty at around ten-eleven in this world, since you're a ninja. So it's less time than you think, also, really dude? Seriously?"

'Yeah I guess you're right but still…damn.'

I get up off the floor, sniffling and wiping my eyes muttering slightly as I collapsed on the rather plush couch.

"You take the bed Naruto, well switch off days." I grunt, staring up at the ceiling.

"We'll go shopping tomorrow."

"Night Tao, sleep well." Naruto calls from the other room as the light goes out.

"You too Naruto."

NEXT MORNING:

The morning sun was bright and cheerful as it slammed against my eyelids, not letting me get back to sleep.

"…fuck it, I'm up" I roll out of bed and sit up, yawning as I walked over to the kitchen, scratching my head as I opened the refrigerator to…nothing.

'Of course it's nothing retard, it's a new apartment, you still have to go shopping.' I stared, annoyed at the empty but clean kitchen as I heard snoring from the other room. Naruto. A sadistic smile crawled onto his face.

'Time to get training~' I slam open the door and tear off his blankets, hearing him mumble tiredly as I grab his ankle, dragging him out and throwing him across the room

"TIME TO GET THE FUCK UP!" I yell as he just twitches against the wall. Peeling off slowly, he hit the floor.

"What THE FUCK!" Naruto yelled, his face red more from anger then the impact.

I flick him in his forehead,

"Think of it like morning training. Let's go." I groan, picking up the scroll with the money in it and unraveling it, trying to summon up some chakra and pressing my hand against the scroll, unsealing a couple different scrolls.

'Apartment deed. Narutos stuff. Taoretas items? … Off to the side. Money. Check!' I grin pocketing that scroll and opening up the scroll labeled "Taoreta's items." A black bead bracelet, a pair of glasses to fit my head, and black handled flip open straight razor.

"Sweet." I say, wondering where they found these as I hadn't noticed them on me when I was fighting the bum. I look back at Naruto as he checked the kitchen as well, cursing as he found it empty.

"Ready to go?" I say, cracking my neck as I adjust my glasses.

"Yeah…" he said depressed, "You should go alone, they might charge you more for being with me…"

"Yeah, I figured from their reactions as we walked home last night…fuck em." I shrug going over to the door,

"Let's go."

He looked at me shocked and confused, "What?"

"Fuck em, I decide who I like or don't like. Besides, are you going to let them break you down? They refuse to see you for you, so just be yourself until they notice you. Don't let them win." I say seriously.

Naruto just looked at me, flabbergasted until he smiled wide and nodded,

"Yeah, your right. Let's do it. Fuck em." And follows me out the door. It was late morning as we walked along the road, grinning as we talked to each other, completely ignoring the people shooting us glares or frowns. And we ignored them, talking about training or food. More like I lectured about about food as he tried hard to believe that vegetables could improve the flavor of something or even be tasty on their own.

"Even Clerey?" he asks, disbelieving.

"…You got me there, that shit just tastes nasty. It's only good in soups." I say grimacing and shuddering as we walked into the ninja clothing store called Iron Silks. The owner smiled as I came in and kept smiling as Naruto came in, only nodding and asking us, "Can I help you?"

"Hi, were here to buy some clothing for the academy. Were there to become ninja." I say proudly, bowing politely.

He grins, "That's great, and the ninja wares are in the side room. Take your time." He waves us by.

I nod, pulling along a little withdrawn Naruto, nervous. There's row after row of clothing, a few bright splashes of color here and there.

"Go find something you like." I walk among the rows of clothing until I catch a look of myself in the mirror and stop, flabbergasted.

Brown shaggy hair, spiky and low. Pale skin, light skin. I was maybe 3ft tall, with a thin scraggly build. And Pale pink eyes.

"Awwwwwe Hell Yes!" I say grinning mischeviously.

"Thought you'd like it."