Microsoft Word refuses to open for some reason so this whole chapter was written in Google docs because I don't have any other kind of writing software on my computer that has spellcheck on it. Very paranoid that the NSA is reading my gay BDSM smut fic now. Hi, NSA.
And no, you won't know the identity of Malik's mystery Domme for several chapters. As always, thank you to my Peggy for proofreading my product of sin, and Amira for enjoying the sin so much. If you enjoyed this chapter or you just like this whole fic, don't forget to leave a review telling me so! I thrive off your feedback and each and every comment motivates me to write the next chapter! ;D
Malik had been a part of the BDSM scene* since before he'd even graduated high school, technically speaking. He supposed it had always been a part of him, ever since he'd stumbled upon some of the "weirder" porn selections when he was younger. What else was a budding teenage boy with an unlimited internet connection to do but go to every virus-ridden porn site Google suggested to him? He'd just type in 'porn' in most cases, too embarrassed to search things that he was actually into at the time. One result brought him to a BDSM site, and it wasn't even a dramatization to say that it changed his life forever.
A woman in a leather corset holding a whip greeted him on the home page. Like most boys his age, a woman in anything revealing holding anything slightly phallic was sexy to him, so he delved deeper into the site in an attempt to find more. He was met with videos of women in outrageously uncomfortable looking latex outfits leading men in masks around on leashes and taking them with strapons. Men in leather chaps putting collared women over their knees and hitting their ass and thighs with riding crops. Men dripping hot wax on another man's rope-bound body. Women clamping clothes pins on another woman's breasts and laughing when she screamed around the gag in her mouth.
At the time Malik had been disgusted and turned off and even a little scared, taking all the scenes at face value and connecting it all to the misconceptions about BDSM he'd absorbed from various media. That it was all about pain, that it was just an excuse to abuse and sexually assault your partner, that it was sodomy and blah blah blah. He wasn't aware of all the trust that went into each and every relationship, how much negotiation and discussions had to happen before any riding crops or clothes pins even touched skin.
And yet… Even then something about it was fascinating. If one was to ask Malik of the past in what way, he would compare each video to a train wreck. "It's horrible, but you can't look away." However, if the present Malik was asked the same question, he would smirk and say something about presence and auras. That he'd always loved seeing the commanding presence the Doms and Dommes had about them, something in their posture and voice that made you want to obey them, and not even from fear. Just...respect. It was hard to describe, even for Malik now a days. But whatever it was that intrigued him, it sucked him in hard and fast and soon BDSM porn was the only kind he was watching on those lonely nights. Despite getting off to it, he denied ever enjoying or condoning it.
Skip to his freshman year of college when he finally lost his virginity. It hadn't been romantic by any means, just him and a junior girl he was vaguely acquainted with falling on top of each other after a few too many drinks at a party. It had been unexpected, but it had been consensual, and from that Malik's first D/s* relationship bloomed. She'd been assertive, almost aggressive, biting and scratching and using her pantyhose to tie his hands to the bedposts. Maybe it was because it was his first sexual encounter ever, maybe it was just because that girl had been really fucking good in bed. Either way they found themselves exchanging numbers the next day, and calling one another up whenever they were horny.
At first, the sex was fairly vanilla. Malik would be chained in fuzzy handcuffs once in awhile, sometimes there would even be a blindfold thrown into the mix. Dirty talking, biting, and scratching were all on the regular menu, but nothing too over the top. Somewhere along the lines, though, the girl began asking about things typically considered more kinky. Ice cubes, spanking, costumes, feathers, collars… Those were all things his partner asked about including in their next romp, and Malik, unaware of her motives, generally always agreed.
It wasn't until she blatantly asked him outright if he knew anything about BDSM that he realized what she was trying to do, that she was trying to incorporate that...stuff into their sex routine. His mind flashed back to those porn videos he'd watched in high school, and he shared the misinterpretations he had about alternative sex. She'd quickly shut him down and corrected him, assuring him that these relationships, even the more extreme ones, were all consensual. That the community shamed and criticized anyone who used their power as a Dominant to abuse someone. He hadn't believed her at first, but she told him to do his own research outside of porn sites and to contact her again when he understood the difference between BDSM and abuse.
He wasn't going to at first. Why should he do research about something so weird, so...so wrong? Just so he could be pressured into weird pain sex with a woman he wasn't even romantic with? Yeah, right. He was content to just stew in his own little bubble until one very important little detail returned to him. With all the things she had brought into their sex, she had always asked him if he was okay with it before it even came close to entering the bedroom. If he said he wasn't okay with something, she could forget about it and wouldn't bring it up again. If he did say he was okay with it, she would triple check to make sure he was 100% okay with it. She was assertive, yes, that was just her nature; but she had never actually pressured him or forced him to do anything he didn't want to do.
With that in mind, and his rekindled interest for the world of BDSM growing, he grabbed his laptop and typed the acronym into his search bar.
Several hours of reading later, everything his partner had told him was confirmed by multiple, if not dozens, of sources. That everything was consensual, from whips to clothespins to slaps on the face. Abusers were demonized among the majority of the community. Communication and trust and negotiations were more important to a scene than the bondage and pain presented in porn. And, he found out, pain didn't even have to be a part of it. One could enjoy the bondage part -which he did, a lot- and nothing else and still be part of the community. It was an amazing revelation, and it took a day or two to fully digest this information and realize he was wrong. In the meantime he continued reading, exploring each branch of BDSM separately, finding out a little bit about himself along the way. While he was nervous, and a bit reluctant, he wouldn't mind incorporating some of the tamer stuff like bondage and vibrators into their usual sex routine.
Skip forward another year, and Malik found himself blindfolded on the floor, arms bound in a leather sleeve behind his back, begging for more as his Mistress pounded his ass with her strap on. It had been a slow and steady progression since the day he'd called her and admitted he was wrong.
Their relationship went back to normal after that, and he'd been the one to bring up bondage a few days later, saying he wanted to try it out with ropes instead of fuzzy handcuffs. Despite her eagerness to share her interests with him she'd been very respectful of the boundaries he'd set in place, never once infringing on a single one. Each shout of their safeword was respected immediately, each time he seemed uncomfortable she would check in with him, and she encouraged him to really research something he'd seen before trying it out. All the while Malik was the one who pushed the relationship forward, wanting to try out more and more, until he he was genuinely excited to be punished by his Mistress.
Even so, the relationship had to end. There came a point where Malik grew tired of submission. He wanted to try being the Dominant for once, and though his partner was willing, she didn't enjoy it as much. It wasn't that Malik was doing it wrong or causing her bad pain, she just wasn't into giving up her control to anyone, or being punished or humiliated. It caused a strain in their relationship; both wanting to Dom but neither wanting to submit. Eventually they realized they were no longer compatible, and they broke up on friendly terms. They still talked to each other for a while, met up for coffee once a month to catch up. But then she found herself a new sub, and their coffee dates became infrequent, she began returning his calls less and less. Around the same time he began frequenting clubs and meet-up apps, trying to find a sub for himself. He had a couple here and there, both men and women, but they never lasted more than a few months, as they very rarely had anything in common outside of BDSM. It got tiring after a while, having to go through limits and boundaries each and every time for someone who might not even be around at the end of the month. So he just stopped searching.
Seto was the exception.
Malik handed Seto a glass of juice and a pack of crackers, sitting beside him and grabbing up the first aid kit he'd retrieved earlier. He'd been part of the scene for so long, aftercare* had become second nature to him. He knew all about subspace and subdrop*, having experienced them both quite often, and he always did his best to provide his subs with acceptable aftercare. He always provided lots of cuddling and snuggling to make them feel loved, food to take care of their blood sugar levels, and always administered some form of first aid no matter how minor their injuries were. As was the case now. Once he'd released Seto and removed his collar and cuffs, he'd wrapped the man in his arms and peppered his cheeks with butterfly kisses. He'd asked if Seto was okay, really really okay, and once he'd been assured he was, he asked if there was anything Seto hadn't enjoyed. Seto had told him it had all been just fine; the 'Master' part had been a little disconcerting at first, but once he'd started saying it he'd really enjoyed it. Malik accepted his answer with a happy hum, but he still had plans to tone it down and offer Seto some training since it had been hard for him to handle ten swats.
Once they'd cuddled a bit longer, Malik had left to get him something to eat and drink. He usually kept a bottle of water and some fruit snacks in his drawer so he didn't have to leave his room, but it had been so long since he'd had a sub, he discarded them and never got around to replacing them.
Thankfully Seto had been alright on his own, and didn't seem like he would be experiencing subdrop any time soon. In fact, he didn't seem to be having any negative side effects at all. He was tired and achey, yes, but he was all there, aware of everything that happened and having enjoyed every second of it.
Malik took out some antibiotic ointment and squeezed a drop onto a cotton ball. "This might sting a little," he warned before rubbing it onto one of the many scratches crisscrossing Seto's back. Seto hissed and pulled back, glaring at him as if he'd been slapped. However, the half eaten cracker between his lips made the look comical, and Malik chuckled. "I warned you. Now try to hold still. I don't want these getting infected."
Seto rolled his eyes, looking as if he wanted to complain but not having the strength. He continued to eat his crackers and drink his juice, doing his best to ignore the sting of the ointment on his scratches. Malik hadn't broken his skin, that he was aware of, so he didn't understand why they hurt so much unless Malik was using some kind of acid. The thought, though random and uncharacteristic, made him chuckle.
Malik raised an eyebrow at him, almost done with his back. "What are you laughing at?"
Seto only shook his head. "Nothing."
Malik hummed skeptically, moving around and sitting in front of Seto so he could reach his chest. He eyed his handiwork proudly, loving how much the bright red scratches contrasted with Seto's pale, pale skin. He couldn't wait to see bruises and flogger marks there too, if he ever got that far.
Rubbing antibiotic ointment on scratches was such a practiced happening to Malik that within a couple more minutes he was through, each and every scratch or bite covered with a generous amount of the germ-killing cream.
After throwing away the used cotton balls and placing the bottle of ointment back in his first aide kit, he looked up at Seto, seeing he was almost done with his snack. "Once you're done with that, I need you to lay down on your stomach," he said, collecting all the gear he'd used during their scene and grabbing an antibiotic wipe from the kit now. Better safe than sorry.
Seto frowned at the order, not enjoying being bossed around outside of a scene. "Why?" he asked suspiciously, unsure if Malik had more planned or if it was really an innocent request.
"So I can put lotion on your ass," Malik answered without hesitation, pointing to the bottle of lotion on his bedside table.
"...Why?"
Now Malik rolled his eyes, looking up from his current task of wiping his gear down. "Because it'll help the sting go away and you won't chafe."
Seto still looked suspicious but did as he was told once he finished his snack. He laid down, relieved to get off his sore butt for a while, and criss crossed his arms over Malik's pillows like he was getting ready for a rubdown of sunscreen. Malik finished cleaning his gear and left it out to dry, then grabbed up the lotion and settled down beside Seto on the bed. Squirting some lotion into his hand, he didn't bother warming it up before smearing it onto Seto's red, splotchy skin.
"Ah!" Seto flinched at the chill, shooting him another glare over his shoulder. Malik just laughed and used light pressure to rub the lotion in, going slow so as to not cause Seto anymore unneeded pain.
"Does it at least help with the sting?" he asked after most of the lotion was rubbed in, spreading the excess down Seto's thighs. Seto hummed an acknowledgement, eyes closed and body relaxed.
Happy with that half answer, Malik got up again to wipe his hands off, checking the time while he was up. It was nearing eight o'clock, and he could barely believe they'd spent so long talking about limits and sceneing. They'd arrived here around four, hadn't they? The time had just flown by. Sharing the time with Seto he sat back down on the edge of his bed, running his fingers through his hair.
Seto hummed again, softer this time. "Good thing I called Mokuba when I did… He would've called the cops on me by now." He made a soft, amused noise and turned onto his side so he could look up at Malik.
Malik offered a smile before averting his eyes, playing with the fitted hem of his sheets. "I guess that means you'll be going home soon, huh?" The words sounded a bit dejected, but he tried hard to keep it casual. He wasn't ready to say goodbye just yet. Maybe in another hour, or even the next morning…
Seto seemed to feel the same, but he didn't say as much. He only laid his head down on Malik's pillow and closed his eyes.
"I don't think I'm in any condition to drive home right now. And before you ask, both because I'm tired and my ass hurts." Malik smirked at that. "So if it's alright with you I'd like to stay a little longer to get my strength back up."
"Or you could just spend the night," Malik offered with a shrug, trying to once again keep his tone casual.
"Hm… If you'll have me," Seto responded, just getting more comfortable on the mattress. Malik grinned at the answer.
"I've already had you."
"Shut up," came Seto's tired scoff, though Malik could tell he was amused by the small, lopsided smirk on Seto's lips. His eyes were closed already, and he hid a yawn in Malik's pillow. Malik's grin softened slightly, and he combed his fingers through Seto's hair.
"I'm assuming you don't want to sleep on the couch or in the guest bedroom, hmm?"
"Malik, I don't even want to move right now."
"Alright." Malik pulled the blankets up over Seto, bending to kiss his temple. "Go on to sleep. I have to get all our dishes and my gear cleaned up and put away, but then I'll join you, alright?"
Seto hummed and nodded, letting Malik know he'd heard him. After running his fingers through Seto's hair once more Malik stood and left the room.
*The (BDSM) scene: Usually used to refer to the BDSM community as a whole. Ex: "Mallory is new to the scene, so Aubrey told her to stay far, far away from 50 Shades of Grey."
*D/s: Dominant/submissive or Dominance/submission. Play or a relationship that includes an erotic power exchange.
Aftercare: Time after a BDSM scene where participants have the chance to calm down, talk about what they liked/disliked about the scene, take care of any injuries anyone sustained, and allow for endorphins to come down to a normal level. Failure to provide aftercare for a sub can lead to subdrop, self hatred, feeling dirty, ashamed, or immoral for their interests, or even trauma if the scene was very intense. Doms also get the chance to reassure the sub of their feelings, as some intense scenes may leave the sub feeling unloved or unwanted. That said, not all subs want or need aftercare, and if they choose to be alone after a scene, it's better to let them be.
Subspace: A natural high that subs experience during a scene due to the release of endorphins. They may feel disconnected from time, space, and their body; may feel as though they and their Dom are the only things that exist anymore; and may even have limited ability to communicate, thus rendering safe words useless. A dom needs to be aware of their sub if they enter subspace, as the sub won't register their own physical limits and could end up with an injury.
Subdrop: The "crash and burn" after the natural high of subspace, due to the time it takes to recover the endorphins released during play. Generally associated with cold or flu-like symptoms such as aches and fatigue, but can also lead to depression. Aftercare can usually prevent this, but it's different for everyone, and some people experience subdrop regardless.