Bella's POV

After leaving school, Jared took me to La Push, to First Beach. I didn't speak the entire way. My head was too busy replaying Mike' words over and over again. He'd told me that I was worthless and that Edward had left me because I wasn't good enough, Jared too. I knew why he'd done it of course. He was angry that I rejected him. He probably didn't even believe what he was saying. But I did, at least where Edward was concerned. He'd told me himself that I wasn't good for his world, that he didn't love me.

Jared I wasn't sure about. He'd told me he left because of his mom, and I knew that much was true. His mother had gotten custody of him and was forcing him to move. But he didn't have to cut contact with me. He didn't have to break up with me. He said he did it for my benefit, but I wasn't sure I believed him, especially now that it happened again with Edward. Maybe I just wasn't the kind of person guys could love for long.

I must have been lost in my thoughts for a few minutes because the next thing I knew, Jared was on my side of the truck. The door was open and Jared had extended his hand for me to take.

I didn't take his hand, but I got out and let him lead me onto the beach. We stopped a few feet away from the water and I sat down on the sand. I stared at the water. I loved the beach. Jared and I used to go all the time back in Phoenix. Most of the time we didn't even go in the water. We just sat on the beach in each other's arms and looked at the water.

Jared sat next to me and I was tempted to lean into his arms. That's what I would've done two years ago. I would've fallen into his arms and let him wash away all my troubles. But things weren't like that anymore. Jared wasn't my boyfriend anymore. He wasn't even my friend. He was just the guy who left. Well, one of them.

"Do you still come to the beach a lot?" Jared finally spoke.

"Hardly ever," I told him. The beach wasn't the same without Jared by my side. The last time I came with a group from school, I'd felt an ache in my heart. I'd done my best to ignore it and managed it eventually when I saw Jake and his friends. Then I got distracted by finding out about Edward. But the ache had still been there at first and again later. Being at the beach just wasn't right without Jared.

"I come. I usually think of you every time I do," Jared said.

I didn't reply to him. I didn't wanna get into the past with him. I already felt like I was dying from the pain of believing that Jared and Edward both left me because I wasn't good enough for them. I had been doing well. I'd even managed to captivate on anger in regards to Jared. Then Mike threw it all in my face and I couldn't escape the pain.

"You okay? You know Newton was just being an ass, right? Don't listen to anything he said," Jared said.

"Why not? He was right," I said. I couldn't keep the pain out of my voice. Mike's words had just hurt so damned much. It brought back so much that I'd tried to bury.

"No, he wasn't! He just said those things because you wouldn't date him," Jared said firmly.

"I know why he said it, Jared. That doesn't mean he's wrong. It just means he's an ass that's right," I said.

"He's not right. You're not pathetic or worthless. You're amazing, Bella," Jared said. He then took my arm to get me to turn to him, which I did. "You're beautiful and wonderful. Newton's just pissed that you know he's not good enough for you. And for that matter, Cullen's not either," Jared said.

I stiffened at the mention of his name. My mind went back to that night and I actually had to force myself not to replay the entire night. "Please stop. Don't talk about him. You have no idea what that was like."

"I know he hurt you. I know I did to. I'm at least partially responsible for the state you were in a few months ago. I'm sorry for that. You'll never know how much," Jared said with sadness in his voice.

"Jared, please stop," I begged with a cracked voice. Anger was no longer my dominant emotion when it came to Jared. Mike had opened the gates to the pain and I feeling it both from Edward and Jared. It was so intense that I felt like it would swallow me whole.

"I love you, Bella," Jared said.

"Stop saying that. You keep saying that but I know you don't mean it. You don't love me. You don't love me anymore than he did. I'm starting to think I'm just not loveable for a guy," I said. He could I not think that? I'd been abandoned twice, three times if you counted Jacob. Obviously something was wrong with me.

"That's not true."

"No? Then why is it that I've been with two guys my entire life and they both left me? The pattern is pretty clear, Jared. It's me. I'm not someone guys can love," I said in tears.

Jared placed his arms around me and held me tightly. I made a slight attempt to get free, but his grip was strong, not enough to hurt me, but enough to keep me there. Besides, the majority of me wanted to be in his arms. I wanted the comfort that being in his arms provided me with

"You're wrong. You're not unlovable, Bella. I know that because I do love you. I never stopped loving you. Sometimes I wished I could because it would hurt less. But it never worked. I loved you with everything inside me and I always will. I'm so sorry I hurt you. I was trying to make thing better for you, but obviously it didn't work. I just knew that my mom would never let me so much as call you once I moved in with her and I didn't think it was fair to make you wait two years for me," Jared said.

"I would have. I would've waited for you, or I would've come with you if I knew exactly where you were going. Hell, I would've run away with you if necessary. Did you ever think of that?" I asked him. There was a small amount of anger in my voice, but it was mostly pain. Losing Jared had hurt so much. I would've done anything back then if it meant us staying together. I'd thought about that a lot. I thought about what things would be like if Jared and I had made it. I most likely wouldn't have met Edward, and if I had, I wouldn't have been with him. Shockingly, it didn't bother me too much.

"I did think about it. When I first found out I had to live with my mom, I thought about grabbing you and the two of us disappearing to like Canada or Mexico. But that wouldn't have been fair either. I knew how much it would hurt you to be away from your family," Jared said.

I wanted to tell him that this had hurt worse. I wanted to scream it at him, but I just didn't have the energy t. I was emotionally exhausted. So instead, I closed my eyes and snuggled up against Jared's shoulder. It wasn't long before I began to drift off to sleep.