Bella's POV

I opened my eyes to find myself in bed at home. I wondered briefly how I got there. The last thing I remembered was being on the beach with Jared. He must have brought me home after I fell asleep. I looked outside and saw that it was dark out. I had obviously been asleep for a long time.

I soon heard someone move around downstairs and my eyes widened. I'd just remembered Charlie. He was home and he knew that I'd skipped a half a day of school. I could already picture the lecture I was going to get over that.

I got out bed and headed out of the room. I went downstairs and into the living room where I found Charlie in his chair flipping through channels.

Charlie looked up at me. "Hey, Kiddo. There's pizza in the fridge if you're hungry."

"No, I'm okay for right now. How long was I asleep?" I asked before going over to the couch and sitting down.

"Well, you got here at about two and it's almost eight now, so at least six hours," Charlie said. There was no anger in his voice surprisingly.

"I…I'm sorry I skipped school," I said.

"It's okay. I don't like it, but I understand why you did it. That boy, Jared, told me what happened with the Newton punk," Charlie said. Now there was anger in his voice, but I knew it was directed at Mike.

I wasn't thrilled that Jared had told Charlie what happened. I didn't need my dad knowing about that and worrying that I was going to lose it again, even if it was a realistic fear. I'd put him through enough already without him having to worry more. "It's not a big deal."

"Yeah, it is, but I can tell you don't wanna talk about it, so I'll drop it. So tell me about that the boy who brought you home," Charlie said.

I almost wanted to go back to the conversation about Mike. Jared was a topic that was just as painful, if not more so. "He's just someone from school."

Charlie gave me 'yeah right' look. "I know it's deeper than that. I talked to him. He's the kid you used to talk about all the time when you came to see me during the summer. I remember how close you were. You called him your best friend."

I groaned. Jared just had to go talking to my dad. He couldn't just drop me off and leave like every other guy in his position would've done. No, he had to talk to Charlie in an effort to somehow prove his worth. It's not like it was surprising. It was a Jared thing to do. In the past, it was something I admired about him. Now it annoyed me. "Well, that was a long time ago."

"Before he moved. Yeah, he told me everything. He told me you used to date and that he broke up with you right before he did. I gotta say, the kid has a lot of guts. I was ready to kill him for a minute there," Charlie said.

"But you're not now?" I asked.

"He explained why he did it and I could tell he was being truthful. He really put himself out there. He offered up the information and he didn't have to," Charlie said. There was a great deal of admiration and respect in his voice.

I was a bit annoyed by my father's defense of my ex-boyfriend. "You know, you were pissed at…him after he broke up with me. Why are you on Jared's side now? Why is he different?"

"I'm not on Jared's side, I'm on yours. But the situations are hardly even comparable. Jared didn't leave you in the middle of the woods, and while I don't know the full extent of either breakup, I'm guessing from the things I have heard that Jared was kinder about it," Charlie said.

I couldn't deny that my father was right about that. Jared had actually been very kind when we broke up. He'd told me that with him moving away, he just didn't think the relationship would work. Edward had actually told me that he didn't love me and that I wasn't good enough for him before abandoning me alone in the woods. But at least Edward was honest about it. I felt that Jared felt the same as Edward and just didn't wanna say it.

"I also think that the breakup with Jared was more painful."

That got my attention. Where had my father gotten the idea that it was more painful with Jared? I didn't lose it like I did with Edward. It was certainly painful, but not so much that I couldn't handle it, like with Edward. In fact, I was even able to be angry with Jared while not with Edward.

Charlie must have seen the confusion on my face. "Yeah, I know that doesn't make sense to you. I've been thinking about it since the kid left. I remember how you used to talk about him and how happy you when you came to visit and talked about Jared. You weren't like that when you came back to live here. You never really seemed happy, not even with him."

"I was happy with him," I protested. I was happy with Edward. I'd spent nearly all my time with him and we were happy. It was probably the only time I was happy.

"Maybe to some extent, but not the way you used to be. I think I know why that is now and you're not gonna like hearing it. You need to though because I think it might allow you to finally let Edward go," Charlie said.

I flinched when his name was used.

"I don't think you loved him."

"What?" I asked with a totally dumbstruck look on my face. I was shocked by this entire conversation, as it was much deeper than any conversation I ever had with Charlie, but even more so by his last statement. How could he say I didn't love Edward? I loved him more than anything. He was my whole world. I don't see how anyone could doubt that I loved him.

"Now don't get me wrong, I'm not saying you didn't feel anything for him. I'm just saying it wasn't love. It was probably part attraction and part need. The need to forget the pain of losing someone important to you. We've all been there. It's called rebound, though the extent in which you clung to Edward was a bit much. I think that's all he was. And then when he left, it wasn't just losing him. It was like you were hit with the loss of Jared all over again," Charlie said.

"Y…you don't know how I felt about Jared or Edward. You weren't even around when I was with Jared," I said with quite a bit of annoyance in my voice. How could he sit here and try to tell me how I felt about the guys I dated. I loved Edward and it nearly killed me when I lost him. It still threatened to.

"No, but I know how losing him hurt you. I may not have seen you often, but I certainly saw the differences in you when I did see you. Not to mention that I know what it feels like to lose someone you love. And the defensiveness coming off of you right now tells me I'm right. You just don't wanna see it. You don't wanna see it because then you will have to let him go. Then all you're left with is the pain of losing Jared, and it's probably going to be ten times worse than before. You poured every ounce of feeling you had for Jared into Edward so that you could forget him and let the pain go. It didn't really work. You just put it aside. Now that Edward's not around for you to cling to, you feel the loss more. It'll only get worse once you accept that Edward was never going to work out. But once you do, once you feel it no holds barred, you'll finally be able to move on one way or another, whether it's away from Jared or towards him," Charlie said.

"I…I can't talk about this anymore," I said before getting up and leaving the room. I felt myself shaking as I did. I could not deal with this conversation a second longer. Charlie was wrong about Edward. He had to be.