It had been several days since I finally admitted the truth about Edward. You'd think that things would've gotten better, and it certain ways they did. I no longer felt such mind numbing pain when it came to Edward. I could say and hear his name without flinching. Hell, admitting the truth even allowed me to start feeling anger towards him. I was angry at how controlling he was with me. He treated me like a child who couldn't make even the simplest decisions for herself. And he'd used me. He used me to distract himself from his lonely existence. But I couldn't really get too angry about that. I had used him to. I may not have intended for it to happen, but I used him to get over Jared.

While the pain over Edward got better, the pain involving Jared got much worse. Charlie had been right. I'd poured everything I had into Edward to try to forget Jared. I'd even managed to convince myself that I'd gotten over it, but in truth, I just pushed it down inside me. Now without Edward and the belief that I loved him, all I had was the pain of losing Jared, and it got much worse this time. Whether that was because Jared was now back in my life or because or because I'd buried it and it came back so suddenly, I didn't know.

I also did have some pain from Edward. It wasn't really from losing him. It was more the pain of being left. I felt like that couldn't be a coincidence. I felt like I kept getting left because I just wasn't worth it. I felt like there was something wrong with me.

I was pulled out of my thoughts when I heard a knock on the door. Charlie walked in after I gave him the okay. He was already dressed for work. "Hey, Bells. Feeling any better today?"

I'd told my dad that I was sick this whole week. I couldn't go back to school and face Jared, not yet anyway. It was too painful right now. I knew that if I went and I saw him, which was unavoidable since we had several classes together, I'd lose it. That was the last thing I needed to happen while I was at school.

"Not really," I answered Charlie. It wasn't a lie. I didn't really feel better at all.

Charlie sighed and walked further into the room. "I know you're not sick, Bells. I'm guessing you finally faced the truth about those two boys and you're having trouble dealing with it. Am I right?"

I looked away, unwilling to answer.

"Bella, I know it's hard. When your mother and I finally ended it and she took you from me, I didn't wanna move. I spent three weeks in the house trying to drink it all away. This won't work for you either. Now I'm going to give you today and the rest of the weekend to figure things out. You're going back to school on Monday. Are we clear?" Charlie asked with rare sternness in his voice.

I nodded.

"Good. I'll see you tonight, kiddo," he said before walking out of my room and closing the door.

I sighed as soon as he left. This meant I was going to have to face Jared. If I didn't do it on my own now, I was going to have to on Monday. I really didn't want to have a breakdown at school for everyone to gossip about. I needed to see and talk to Jared before that. Charlie was right, I couldn't hide it forever. Tomorrow, I was going to La Push.

Xxxxxxxxxxx

The next day, I drove over to Billy and Jacob's. I didn't know where Jared actually lived and I was hoping Jake would. They were friends now apparently.

I knocked on the door and waited. Billy opened it seconds later.

"Bella, hi. Jacob's not home," Billy said.

I wasn't surprised by the answer. Billy would tell me that whether it was true or not. Jake wanted nothing to do with me. He was yet another person who'd walked out of my life. I couldn't even blame Sam Uley for it anymore because Jared was a part of that group and he'd obviously had no problem seeing me if he wanted. "That's okay. I just need an address from you or him. I'm trying to find a friend of his, Jared Cameron."

"Yes, I know Jared. I'm not sure I should give you his address though. That's personal information," Billy said.

"Trust me, Jared won't mind. He's spent the last several weeks trying to talk to me. He'll be happy to see me," I said. How long that would last was the question. He might not be too happy when I said what I came to say. I was going to make it clear to him today that there was no going back. I'd said it before, but I was going to make sure he got it this time. I needed to truly let him go now.

"Alright," Billy said reluctantly before disappearing into the house. He came back a couple of minutes later with a slip of paper in his hand. "Here's his address. He probably won't be there though. The boys usually spend most of their time at Sam' house, and before you ask, I can't give you Sam's address."

"No, that's fine. I'll wait if I have to. Thanks," I said before heading back to my truck.

Xxxxxxxxxx

It turned out Jared didn't live to far from the Blacks. It was only about a five minute drive. It was quite amazing. I'd been to Jake's house several times since I moved to Forks and my ex-boyfriend had literally been five minutes away.

I parked my truck in the driveway and walked to the door. I knocked lightly and waited.

Seconds later, the door was opened by a middle-aged Native American woman. She had to be Jared's mother. "Can I help you?"

"Yeah, I'm looking for Jared," I told her.

"He isn't home. I can only guess by looking at you that you go to that new school of his," she said with disgust. I couldn't tell if she was disgusted by me or the fact that Jared had changed schools. It seemed to be a little of both.

"Um, yeah, but I knew Jared before he transferred. I used to live by him in Phoenix," I told her.

The woman actually sneered at me. "So you're her. You're the little girl that had my son in hysterics for months."

"Hysterics?" I asked confused.

"Yes. He acted like it was the end of the world. He refused to leave his room. He wouldn't talk to me and when he finally did, he screamed at me,' she said.

I stared at her in shock. That didn't sound like Jared. I didn't scream. I could count on one hand how many times I'd heard him raise his voice, and that included when he lashed out at Mike for the things he said to me. Jared was just usually a really calm person.

"He acted like you were the best thing in the world. You don't look all that special to me."

I opened my mouth speak, but I frankly had no response for it. No one had spoken to me so rudely without cause before. Well, okay, Rosalie was pretty cold, but even she didn't reach this level. Why did Jared's mom hate me so much? I'd never even met her until today.

"Well, what do you want from my son? I don't want you around him. He doesn't need to be reminded about the past. His future is here with me," she said with a glare

"Um, I think that's Jared's choice," I told her. I was feeling really defensive. This woman was acting like I was some kind of plague on Jared's life.

"How dare you? I am his mother! How dare you come back into his life now? He finally stopped moping around like an idiot."

"He was moping?" I asked.

She sneered again. "I used to hear him cry over you in his bedroom. He woke up in the middle of the night moaning about his 'Bella'. He begged me to allow him to call and to visit you. I of course told him no. I refused to allow him any contact with you or his loser father."

Again, I was shocked. Jared had told me that his mother would've refused to let us see each other, but I didn't really believe it. I figured it was an excuse. But his mother had just admitted it. She kept us apart. And from what she was saying, Jared had suffered to. He'd suffered a lot.

I was not sure what I was supposed to do with all of this. Until now, all I thought about was how much Jared hurt me. He'd left me. Yes, he'd moved, but he chose to end our relationship. He'd acted so strong about it that I thought he was okay with the decision, but from what I was hearing, he wasn't. He was no more okay with it than I was.

I began to get angry. I was angry that this woman had taken the guy I loved away from me, that she'd caused both of us so much pain. "Why? Why was it so important to you that Jared not see me?

She scowled. "Jared is mine! He is my son! He never should've even gone to Arizona. My ex-husband took him and forced a life on him he never should've had! You will stay away from my son! He doesn't need you!"

That had been my plan. I'd made the decision to tell Jared to stay out of my life once more because I felt like he never really loved me. I felt like he didn't feel I was good enough for him, despite how many times he said otherwise. I wanted him to leave me alone so that I could find a way to heal. No matter how much I loved him, I thought that he'd just leave again if I gave him any place in my life again. But after speaking to his mother, I knew that it wasn't that simple.

"Bella?"

I turned around to see Jared and his group of friends coming our way. Jared jogged ahead and met me on the porch.

"Hey. What are you doing here?" Jared asked.

"I came to talk to you. Can we go somewhere?" I said. I still needed to talk to Jared. That much hadn't changed, even if the result of that talk might.

"You are not going anywhere with my son. You stay away from him," Jared's mother yelled!"

Jared glared at her. "Don't you ever talk to her like that! And you don't get to decide who I see!"

"I am your mother!"

"A fact that haunts me every day! But you are nothing to me compared to her! Bella is everything to me and you made me leave her. Well, that won't happen again. I am eighteen! You no longer have any control over who I see!" Jared screamed. He began to shake the more he spoke.

Sam Uley came over and placed a hand on Jared's shoulder. "Jared, I think you should come with us now."

Jared looked at Sam and then me. He slowly began to relax and stop shaking. "No, I'm okay. Bella and I are going to go for a walk."

"Are you sure?" Sam asked. He seemed to be really worried, though I couldn't tell why. Yes, he had been angry, but wasn't like he was going to get violent. Jared would never hurt anyone.

"Yeah," he said before grabbing my hand. He glared at his mother for a minute and then led me away.