Jared's POV

I walked hand and hand with Bella down the street. She hadn't pulled away from me since we left my house. I was taking it as a good thing. I hoped it meant that my girl was ready to forgive me.

"So your mom is…" She couldn't seem to come up with a word that fit.

I decided to help her out. "A bitch?"

"Well, I was gonna be nicer about it," Bella said.

"Why? There's nothing nice about her. We might as well call her what she is. She's a cold hearted, self-centered bitch," I said. So I was a little resentful. My mother had ripped me away from everything I cared about. She'd cut my father out of my life and forced me to leave the woman I loved. I also blamed her for turning into a wolf. If she'd left me in Phoenix, I never would've phased.

"You know, when you said that she wouldn't have let us stay in contact, I thought you were making an excuse. I thought you just didn't wanna say that you stopped loving me," Bella said.

I shook my head. "I have never stopped loving you, Bella. I took you with me in my heart, even if I couldn't have you physically with me."

"You mother told me how you begged her to let you see or talk to me," Bella said.

There was a pang in my heart just thinking about that time. It had been very difficult for me to survive that time in my life. Losing Bella had hurt so badly. I did breakdown a few times and beg my mother to let me see her. "I… Letting go of you hurt so damned much. I barely got through our breakup without falling apart. It only got worse when I moved here. I wanted you back so badly. So, yeah, I begged my mom, even though I knew it was useless. All she ever cared about was making me hers and no one else's. She wanted me to love her and forget all about the life I had with my dad. What she didn't and still doesn't seem to realize is that her actions are why I can never love her."

"Don't hate your mom because of me, Jared," Bella said. Typical Bella. She never liked being the reason people were angry.

"I don't. Well, I do, but it wouldn't matter. It's not just you. She took my dad from me too. I couldn't even call him on the phone. So even if you didn't exist, and believe me, that's not a thought I like to dwell on, it wouldn't change anything," I told her.

"Do you talk to your dad now?" Bella asked.

"I've spoken to him a few times since my birthday and I even met him in Seattle a couple of months ago. He asked me to move back with him," I said.

"Why didn't you? You're eighteen. You don't have to stay with your mom. And you're certainly not staying here because you love her," Bella said.

"I had no intention of staying. Since the moment I was dragged here, I pretty much counted the days until my eighteenth birthday. I had every intention of going back to my real home. I wanted to get back to my dad and to you," I told her. That had really been the worst thing about becoming a wolf. I knew when that happened that my plans of going back to Phoenix were never going to happen. It almost crushed me.

"Why didn't you?" she asked.

"It's complicated," I told her. I knew I had to tell her about the wolf thing, but I wasn't sure how. It wasn't just something you came out with. I had to figure out the best way to tell her.

"Well, if you and I are gonna make it work, we can't have secrets," Bella said.

My heart leaped at her words. "Are you saying you're gonna give me a chance?"

Bella let go of my hand and sat down on the curb. "I don't know. I'd come here fully prepared to let you go. I was gonna tell you to stay out of my life for good. But that was before I met your mother. It was before I realized that you'd suffered too. I figured you left me because I wasn't good enough. The same reason Edward and Jacob left me."

I went over and sat next to her. "Bella, you are more than good enough. They're the ones that aren't good enough. Hell, I'm not good enough either. There is no one in this world that deserves you. But I'm hoping that I can come close to deserving you."

"See it from my point of view, Jared. Three people in my life walked out of it. How could I feel anything but worthless over that?" Bella asked.

I felt about an inch tall right now. My girl had such low self-esteem and it was because of me. Being left had caused her to feel so low and I was the first person to leave. I thought that leaving would help Bella, but it only caused her pain. "I'm so sorry. I never wanted you to feel like I didn't love you or like you didn't deserve to be loved. I'm sorry that I did. And I'm sorry that Cullen did the same. He's a fool for it and so am I."

"Edward didn't love me. He told me that when he left. It's okay though because now I realize that I didn't love him either," Bella said.

I was surprised by the admission. The last I knew, she was still devastated by the leech's departure, so much in fact that she couldn't even speak his name.

"That's why haven't been in school all week. I was forced to see how little Edward actually meant to me. I cared about him, but not the way you did someone you loved. I know that because I realized that if I had you, I wouldn't have looked at Edward twice. It was you I wanted, not Edward. But you were gone and he was there. Being with him allowed me to push the pain of losing you away, so I let myself believe I loved him. I gave him everything. I became kind of obsessed with him," Bella explained.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry I drove you to that point," I said. Boy was I sorry. I'd driven the woman I loved into the arms of a leech. That alone was bad, but the fact that she got hurt by him was much worse. I hated myself for doing that to her.

"It's not your fault. I'm the one that chose such an unhealthy path. That's why I came here today. I finally managed to accept the truth. I wanted to let you go the right way so that I could finally move on. But like I said, that was before I realized how hurt you were by all of this. I'm not sure what to do now. I know that I can't just be with you like nothing happened though," Bella said.

"I understand, but maybe we can start over, rebuild our friendship?" I asked hopefully.

"I would like that. It's about the only thing I can offer you right now. But if we're gonna even go that far, there can't be secrets between us. I need to be able to trust you. You need to tell me what's going on with you. I know that something's going on with you and I know it has something to do with Sam Uley and the rest of his gang. Tell me what's going on," she said.

"Okay," I said before taking a deep breath and preparing to tell her. I just hoped she wouldn't hate me afterwards.