The Plan For World Domination Starts With A Tea Party
In Kuvira's world, teatime started exactly at 3pm. Not one second earlier or later. So, when she and Baatar arrived at the Terror Square's Evil Headquarters™ promptly on time and neither Amon nor Zaheer were ready for them, she was not impressed.
After what she felt was more than a reasonable amount of time rattling at the door, Amon finally appeared – behind them on the street. "Oh," he said. "You two. You're early."
"You're late," Kuvira corrected. "Where is Zaheer?"
Amon was lucky the mask hid the way his eyes were darting back and forth. "I'm not sure," he replied. "He wanders off."
"You should try to keep better track of him. He is your ally."
"I've tried," said Amon, in a haunted voice. He didn't elaborate.
"Don't get smart with me," Kuvira snapped, jabbing her finger into one eyehole of the zombie's mask. It was enough to make him flinch. The habits of life are truly hard to overcome. "Just because Zaheer is a no-good-lazy-bad-guy doesn't mean that you can excuse his behavior."
"Yes, madam!" Amon jumped to salute her instantly, only to be kicked in the gut a moment later.
"Miss!" Kuvira stated sharply. "I refuse to be called madam. From now I will be Miss Kuvira."
"Yes," Amon nodded, "Miss Kuvira. I swear i don't know where Zaheer is. He just disappears sometimes."
"Ah." Kuvira glanced around and brushed a single stray strand of hair back from her face. "Then let us go find him, shall we?"
"Yes," Amon agreed, stepping over to the woman, "That would be a good idea. It seems you have those."
"Thank you." Kuvira smiled triumphantly and marched ahead and away from the building, Amon following close behind her.
"I'll just wait here, shall i?" Baatar called after them. "Yes," Kuvira replied over her shoulder. "If he comes back, stop him. Otherwise, you know what to do."
As Amon and Kuvira started on their quest to find the missing Zaheer, Amon began to rethink his stance on that double-dating business. Maybe Zaheer had the right idea. Now if only he could ask in a subtle way . . .
"Miss Kuvira," Amon began, his voice a bit more nervous than before. "I heard of this lovely restaurant and i was invited to a dinner and i can bring a friend and i was wondering if–"
"No."
"What?" Amon asked.
"I said no," Kuvira repeated. "I have no interest in something like you."
Amon froze in his tracks and the woman left him in the dust.
Two hours later when Kuvira finally tracked Zaheer down, she found him sitting in a hotel pool with a drink in hand, gently floating on the water.
"What in the world are you–"
"Care to join me?" he asked the newest (and most strict) member of the Terror Square. "I came to connect with the element of water. Only when I connect with all of them, do I find inner–"
He fell backwards off the floating raft as the metal handle of the cleaning net hit him in the face.
"What do you think you are doing?!" Kuvira demanded, standing on the edge of the pool, angry as hell. "I did not join this club to relax and enjoy myself! I joined it take over the world! Now are you with me or am i going to have to do it all by myself?!"
Zaheer paused a moment.
Kuvira took that as a 'yes' and marched off, leaving the soaking wet monk to order another drink.
He honestly didn't think that this woman understood how to balance work and play. He had woken up that morning and put on his clothes. That was work. Now he got to play and then he would go back to work later.
Meanwhile, Amon, having decided he shouldn't get involved any further in this quest to protect what was left of his dignity, had returned to Evil Headquarters™. What had he done wrong? If Zaheer could manage to keep a girlfriend, then surely he should be able to gain one as well.
Unless it was because he was a zombie. Had zombies ever been lucky in love? He wasn't sure.
His musings were brought short when he came inside to find Baatar with his hand in a cupboard. What with Kuvira, he'd almost forgotten about the other new recruit. "What are you doing?" Amon asked. Looking for tea, please say you're looking for the tea . . .
"Snooping," Baatar said matter-of-factly.
"I see. Is there anything i can help you find?"
"Not particularly. I was just trying to figure out the current state of the Terror Square."
" . . . Right. Fair enough." Amon reached past him to get down the tea set. "Can i offer you some tea?" he asked Baatar.
"Sure, thank you," Baatar said. He abandoned his snooping without hesitation, and Amon wondered if he'd found anything.
The zombie prepared the tea in silence, and when Baatar sat across the low tea table across from him, the quiet became awkward. Baatar broke it first.
"So, how's life?" the would-be villain asked. "Er . . . undeath? Un-life? What's the term for zombiehood?"
"Undeath," Amon confirmed, "and frankly, it's not great right now." He meant it as a statement of fact, in the "so leave me alone" sense, but Baatar didn't take it that way.
"Why not?" he asked. "Aside from the obvious."
Amon contemplated his answer for a long moment. "A friend invited me out somewhere, but–"
His carefully worded answer flew out the window when Baatar interrupted, "You have friends?" Amon remained silent. Glaring didn't work so well with the mask, but he had been working on exuding an aura of menace. It might have worked, because Baatar hastily backtracked.
"I mean, you just seem so focused on your goals. It doesn't leave much time for a personal life. I know, i don't really have any friends either."
Maybe Amon had an ally in solitude, then. "Then maybe you would–" he started.
"No, sorry," Baatar cut him off. "I may not have friends, but i have a fiancée."
"Oh." That conversation was over, Amon decided. They sat in another awkward silence until Amon remembered Baatar's area of talent. "If you were looking for the schematics Hiroshi Sato left, they're upstairs in the desk."
"Really?" Baatar said. "I wasn't, but thanks." Abandoning his tea, he ran up to look.
By the time Kuvira made it back to Evil Headquarters™, she'd worked herself into quite the righteous rage. What did that Zaheer think he was doing? It was almost like he didn't care about taking over the world at all! Why even bother being part of the Terror Square then?
Her mood was not improved when she returned to find Amon had come back, too, and was sitting at the tea table across from Baatar, who was looking at some kind of blueprint. If it were just Baatar waiting for her, she could fling herself down and vent, but she didn't show her feelings lightly. Not just anyone could be allowed to see Kuvira's heart. "Useless!" she snapped. "Totally useless!"
Baatar knew her well enough that after taking one look at her face he poured her a gently steaming cup of tea. Kuvira stalked across the room, seated herself next to him, and took several deep breaths.
Once she deemed herself suitably calm, she looked at Amon. "You really can't keep track of him at all?"
The zombie shook his head.
"And you have no control over him?"
"None whatsoever," Amon replied gloomily.
"I see." She breathed deeply again, then took the tea Baatar offered her with a nod of thanks. "Then we cannot rely on him." She sipped her tea contemplatively.
While she thought, Amon fumed. He wasn't sure if, being undead and all, his blood could still rush to his face, but he had never been more glad of his mask. Kuvira and Baatar were together! That was why they'd come to the interview together. No wonder she'd shot him down. It was so obvious. How could he have missed it? Now all he could see was the two of them going on a double date with Zaheer and laughing at his inability to have a social life.
"We'll have to proceed without him," Kuvira announced. Amon started. Could she read his mind? He relaxed when she went on to say, "Zaheer lacks the focus necessary to take over the world. I'm sure he'll be able to contribute in some small way, but we cannot put a man like that in a position of responsibility."
"I suppose . . ." Amon said doubtfully.
"Now, to business. How are we going to take over the world?"
Amon cursed inwardly. He'd been up all night thinking about it, but hadn't been able to come up with anything more substantial than 1. Thwart the Avatar. 2. Take over the world. He had a fair few ideas on manipulating and getting rid of the world's governments, but none of them would work if the Avatar was around to shut them down. They needed to get her out of the way, preferably using some method that wouldn't turn her into a martyr. What was happening to him? Not too long ago, he'd been a perfect mastermind who'd shut down Republic City. Now he didn't know how to deal with one teenager.
"We need to get the Avatar out of our way first," he said, revealing none of his inner turmoil. "She's consistently interfered with our plans since she first left the South Pole."
"Makes sense," Kuvira mused. "How did you intend to do it?"
Amon hesitated.
Kuvira raised both eyebrows at him in a "go on" gesture.
"The thing is . . ." Amon said. "How should i put this?"
"Just say it," Kuvira said, her patience stretching thinner by the minute.
"We hadn't exactly decided. Neither i nor Zaheer thought much farther than filling out the Terror Square again."
The teacup shattered under Kuvira's clenched fingers. Hot tea splattered everywhere.
"Kuvira, your hand!" Baatar exclaimed.
Kuvira didn't listen to him. Instead she reshaped the metal pieces on her shoulders into projectiles and sent them flying at Amon. The zombie reacted instinctively, bending tea from the pot in front of him into a wall of ice to shield himself. Bits of steel and green ice scattered across the floor.
"You mean to tell me," Kuvira demanded, "that i've joined an organization that claims to be working toward world domination, but its members spend more time chilling at the pool and drinking tea than scheming? That your greatest obstacle is a teenage girl, and you haven't even thought how you might get her out of your way?!"
Amon wouldn't have put it quite like that, but he had to admit it was a fairly accurate description of the Terror Square's current situation. "That would appear to be the case, yes."
"Unbelievable! What have you been doing all this time?!"
" . . . Regrouping?" Amon offered. He knew it wasn't much of an excuse, and Kuvira agreed. With a wrenching motion, she gestured for her shoulder pieces to return to her person. She was just about to send them out again when Zaheer walked in.
Kuvira closed her eyes. Spirits grant her patience in dealing with these imbeciles. "I see you're back," she said. "I suppose it would do no good to ask if you had put any thought in how to deal with the Avatar?"
"Kidnapping," Zaheer suggested without missing a beat.
Kuvira pressed her hand to her forehead. She could feel a headache coming on. "You've been trying that for her entire life, and it hasn't yet worked."
There was a long pause as everyone in the room looked around at each other.
Finally Baatar offered a suggestion. "I think we should spy on her for now, gather information. We may find a weakness we can use."
"Finally, someone speaks sense," Kuvira grumbled.
"Seems reasonable," Amon agreed.
"Well, if that's settled," Zaheer said, joining the others at the table and pouring himself a cup of tea, "shall we discuss your guys' welcoming party?"
Kuvira's eyebrow twitched.
A/N: I (DAIrinchan) have had this account for almost four years, and this is my first time posting a second chapter. I'm kind of excited. I usually just write one-shots.