More apologies for making you all wait so long! This chapter is quite small, especially compared to the others, but that is only because originally, this chapter wasn't meant to happen. I did want to go straight into the ball, but as I thought about it, I wanted to explore Ronnie's thoughts and also her relationship with Roxanne. I know that since the argument, most people probably disliked her, but in this chapter I just wanted to show everyone whose side she really is, and how loyal and trustworthy she is. Love her, because I do!

- Also, if any of you want to see the dresses I picked out for them, links will be on my PROFILE :)

Mixed Feelings

I shut the door behind me.

My heart drops, but I don't let my legs fall to the ground. I start walking, facing the feeling of loneliness, which has recently become too well-known to me. However, this time it is even worse as I am truly alone. I don't have my father to turn to, or Kyle, and for the first time since, I even wish I could sit on those steps with Carter again.

My slow pace quickens, and I find myself running outside, back to the bench where I know I can finally find peace. No-one can hear me, no-one can see me, and I can finally let it all go. The tears that I held inside the castle come out, and I grasp my heart in pain at Eric's words. After everything we've been through and after all the danger he's put me through, he still won't fight for us.

My tears and sobs must muffle up the noise in my surroundings, as I don't hear Roxanne walk outside. She places a hand on my back and soothes my anger with her cold touch. As she rubs her hand over my back, I slowly turn to hug her, with my head crumbling in a weak manner by her side.

"What happened Ronnie?" She asks. Although I expect her to move away, she doesn't.

"Eric and I fought," I say bluntly. "He says he no longer wants to be with me."

"If only it were that easy," she says, as she sits on the bench with me. "He's weak, Ronnie. He's trying to tell you to stay away, so that he can protect you. But they're only words. You'd be a fool to believe what he says. Everyone can see he can't get enough of you."

Unexpectedly, her words are encouraging. I look up at her and smile, because she has helped me clarify my feelings. She can't take away my pain, for no-one can take back what Eric said, but yet I find myself breathing again.

"Now, please," she says, looking at me, "come back inside. We need to get ready. This is your ball, and Alexander wants you looking beautiful."

"Alexander?" I ask. What would he care?

"Of course," she says, as a matter of fact. "Tonight you are introduced to vampire society. It is your duty to converse with everyone because these people will be laying their lives for you, and they need to understand the importance of the Healer species."

I remember Alexander's words from earlier on, when he had justified having the ball tonight. Roxanne's talk of war brings me back to reality, and I suddenly feel guilty for worrying about problems like those with Eric. Compared to the war that will soon be fought over me, our love seems insignificant, and I immediately start to follow her inside, wanting nothing more to please Alexander and prove to the vampire kind that I am worth saving.

"Ronnie, I know this is a topic that disturbs you, but please, tell me about Antoinne," Roxanne begs. It's a conversation that I have kindly been putting off, but I knew I would soon have to discuss it with her, and within these four walls, no-one can hear us.

"There's nothing to tell, Roxanne. He killed my mother, and apparently he aimed to give my father the same treatment." The way and the speed at which I say that doesn't aim to hide my thoughts on the topic; I justify what I did, and I would do it again.

"Ronnie, please. I understand it pains you to speak of him, but you must understand, he was my brother. I loved him, even if towards the end of his existence, he drifted far from us. Just tell me anything."

I look at her. We are sat in her room. Roxanne's curling tongs levitate above my head as she waits for a response. She resumes curling it as I find my words.

"When my father saw him drain my mother of blood, he knew what he was. At first, it was hard to believe it, since we had only heard of vampires from horror stories, but it was the only explanation. My father didn't rest until we located him. I killed him."

"Thank you," she says, smiling kindly, even though I can see a tear forming in her eye. "I don't hate you for it. I understand why you had to do it. I just hate that he deserved it."

The conversation stops there, but within a few minutes, I have continued it, liberating a burning question from inside me.

"What would he have done with me?"

"He would have fed from you, only to have found that you were not to be his. Then I don't know… he may have disposed of you, enslaved you, brought you to Alexander… Who knows how his mind worked? Antoinne changed when he killed Alexia," she says, aware of how much I know.

Alexia's name is not new to me, and so I continue to make conversation.

"Yes, Eric told me about her. Antoinne believed she was matched to somebody you turned as well as him, although Eric never believed him."

"Eric doesn't want to believe it was true, because now that he has you, he can't imagine ever having to share you with somebody else. It's what drove Antoinne crazy, but I knew Achiel. He was one of my first sons, and his bond with Alexia was as strong as Antoinne's."

"Then you believe I could belong to somebody else?" I ask plainly, dreading her response.

Ever since I had talked to Alexander, this worry had been stuck within me, poisoning every happy memory with Eric. The worry that I could be somebody else's.

"I don't know, Ronnie. I haven't seen it with other Healers over time. Pray that you are not Ronnie, because Eric could lead the same fate as Antoinne."

Although I want to fight back, and prove her wrong, I know deep down that she is not lying to me. Her words frighten me, and as I see that my hair is done, I decide to leave the room before further talk. I explain that I am going to the bathroom, to wash up quickly, yet before I manage to lock the door, she whispers one last thing.

"Achiel will be here tonight. Speak to him."

I cannot escape conversation with Roxanne, as my time in the bathroom, pampering and applying make-up quickly comes to an end. As a hunter, these are things that don't come easy to me, and routines that I almost never give time to. Unless when being bait, the hunter within me responds.

As I step out of the room, the first thing I see is Roxanne's shocked expression. At first, I feel like she's horrified at the way I look. Maybe I've put too much make-up on, or ruined my hair in the last half an hour since she turned it into a masterpiece. But when I hear the knock at the door, my heart sinks as I see she was trying to protect me. She signals towards the bathroom, and mouths 'go back' and I do as I am told.

I close the door behind me, leaving a small crack to see who is at the door, and I am relieved to be hidden when I see that it is Eric. I hear the voices at the door, and understand that he is looking for me.

"She is just getting ready, Eric," Roxanne kindly mutters. "You may see her at the ball."

"I want to see her now. I need to apologize. We didn't leave it on the best of terms."

"I know you didn't. She told me what you said, and after what happened to Antoinne, you would be stupid to let her go. Now please, go. Let us get ready and let her have a good night tonight."

Eric bows his head, giving in to Roxanne's demands.

"I know you're right. Thank you for looking after her."

"You should thank Alexander. He asked me to go to her."

He looks in the direction of the bathroom and locks eyes with me, before turning round and strutting back. I gasp for air, but when I see Roxanne close the door, I re-enter the room.

"Thank you Roxanne," I say as I stretch my arms behind me. "I don't think I'm ready to talk to him yet."

"I know you weren't, and anyway, there's another reason for why I didn't want him running our preparation time now."

"And what's the reason?" I ask, looking around the room, and seeing her walk over to two white boxes on top of her bed.

"These are the reasons," she says, placing her hands on them. "Alexander ordered our dresses and dropped them round whilst you were in the bathroom," she shouts, jumping with a large smile on her face.

I smile, but it doesn't reach my eyes.

"Sorry Roxanne, but it's not something I can be excited about. I am not a dress-person…" I admit.

"You will love this one," she says, as she pulls out a pink A-Line ball gown from the first box.

My eyes enlarge and my mouth falls open, as I behold the dress in her arms. It truly is beautiful, something royalty would be seen in. The diamonds encrusted on the bodice reflect around the room, and I begin to understand the significance of the event for Alexander. The dress must have cost him a fortune, for its beauty is like none other. I find myself searching for the button to my jeans, stripping out of them, as well as my top, so that Roxanne may finally put it on me, but it is only when I finally have it on, that I see myself worth the dress. Its beauty has enveloped me, as I approach the mirror and realize my beauty.

"You were right Roxanne," I say, blushing. "I love this one." I continue staring at myself in the mirror, turning and turning to see every possible inch of the dress.

"Alexander will love it on you," she says, as she comes to stand by me.

It is only when I grab her hand in mine and glance up at her that I realize she too is wearing her dress; she has got changed at an inhumane speed, and is now wearing a sexy turtle neck red gown, covered in beaded lace. Her seductive, manipulative and strong side comes across her dress, and I realize that Alexander has not only succeeded in buying one, but two dresses.

She smiles at me and I smile back.

"Enjoy tonight. We don't know how long we have left. There will be no danger tonight, but remember how those that are here are not enemies, but allies; they will fight for you, and for your race."

"I understand," I say.

As we make our way to the door, the two words that resonate in my mind are her first. Enjoy tonight. Although I want to so badly, I don't think I will be able to keep my personal life at bay. Still, my biggest worry is losing those I love, and at this rate, that list seems to have grown. Roxanne, Alexander… I want to protect them, and I am sure that by the end of this night, my heart will grow to accept many willing to lay down their lives for me. Yet with a war approaching, and Eric's words deep in my mind, I no longer know what the right option is.

Afraid to see Eric, I quickly follow in Roxanne's shadow. When she stops at the top of the stairs, I believe it's so we can straighten our dresses, but as I look up, the room quietens and I realize that she is no longer with me, but in the crowd below. An array of men in black tuxedo, and of women in an assortment of colored ball gowns glance up at me, with Alexander and Eric beaming up at me from the front.