By the third week at The Temple Ailsa was fighting more like Jedi and less like a mercenary. She was beginning to realize the accuracy of her technique did not live up to the power of the Jedi. They had totally different skill sets and methods of discipline.
Yet, she was better at navigating landscapes than they were. Skywalker would send them out in teams, playing a training game of Capture the Droid. The little floating droid would whiz in and out of trees, creating obstacles as it went. Many of the padawans simply raced after it, throwing debris in its way or trying to go faster.
Ailsa found a high ground and let them work. It became a competition between her and Ben – whomever caught the Droid first got rights to claim victory and boast about it until the next event. This often lead to them fighting each other, which was entirely beyond the point.
This day the young woman sat perched on a low waterfall surrounded by trees. The noise disguised her from the droid, but it would still sense her heat. The young trainees were nearby, yelling at each other as they tried to coordinate a capture. Ailsa just listened, waiting for the little robot to whiz past. It shot by above the waterfall once, her lightsaber powering up causing it to twist and immediately retreat away through the water. The poor little thing did not detect the net through the falls, and soon Ailsa had bragging rights over Ben once more.
He was scowling at with his team. They now had to face the droid alone, blindfolded, and fend off its electric zapping.
Luke Skywalker was not impressed, however. Every time such a task was given to the group, the Skylander went out alone. Even if she had been part of the planning, if she had taken a role, or even if she had been part of a tactical approach – she always vanished. It was what they had taught her; to disappear until she had to strike. It was a hard habit to break, and one she did not see a problem with. She was not from an order, she was not part of a council. She was from Skye, and those who learned their way with The Force went off alone into the Universe, becoming part of it instead of sticking to a single cell.
Ben brought this up with her one night after they had snuck out. They were in their usual spot for star gazing, laying on damp pine needles and looking up at a galaxy that seemed far too big to be real.
"Do you just not like working with a team?" His head was turned to her, not the sky. "Is that it? Luke did tie two trainees together once to get them to work as a pair. Do we need to tie you to something?"
She scoffed, fingernails pressing together as she considered it. Having her abilities looked at with such scrutiny was not easy. "On Skye we…we have fighters. We have teams. But, they do not have The Force. The Force comes into individuals, not into units. It is seen as…something that can harm order. Skylanders and People of Skye are not the same."
"So they do not let you fight?"
"Not with them directly. If the time comes to defend the planet, those with The Force will do so from a distance. If they do a frontal assault it is separate, often on a different battlefield."
"But why? Surely a Jedi would help?"
Ailsa turned onto her side, looking Ben in the eye. She let out a low breath, thinking on how to phrase her next words. "We may help, but it goes against…the patriotism of the place. They feel that it deviates from the traditionalism of Skye. Stories say that The Force came to us as a curse, and that a hero managed to find the balance for us and teach it, passing the method down through each Force user. They feel that light and dark encourages…it encourages the dark side. We know that we are prone to the allure of power. We are not considered…pure."
Ben frowned at her, a small amount of anger rising in him. "They think lesser of you for having The Force?"
"They think differently. We are loved the same, we live in the same homes. Yet when it comes to matters of battle and work – we do so alone as not to cross our power into the stream of everyday life."
This did not make sense to the young man. He had grown up on tales of brave Jedi who helped benefit society. He learned of the Light Side and how it benefited the universe, how the Jedi Council had played a role in creating peace. To set such power aside because of how it deviated from a perceived natural order was unusual. It felt…awkward.
"Do you miss it?" His voice came quietly. "Do you miss Skye?"
"I miss the view." Ailsa smiled at him, settling onto her back again to look up at the stars and the two moons that hung heavily around them. "I miss the smell, and the cold. But…I like it here. I like being away and finding out more of my power and where I can use it."
"Is that why so many Force Users leave Skye?"
"Yeah…I think so." It came as a confession, a quiet admission. "What do you think? I don't see you joining a Jedi Council and spending your life discussing diplomacy. I think you'd get bored as a peacekeeper."
Ben laughed, quickly quieting the sound as not to arouse suspicion. "I think you're right – but what else is there?"
"I don't know. You could go on adventures. See the universe. There is plenty to look at – more than we can see in one lifetime."
"I don't know if that is a good use of our skill though."
"Were we given The Force for other people?" Ailsa raised an eyebrow, unconvinced. "I think we have it because…it is what we were made for. We were made to use it, but nowhere are we told how."
"The Jedi tell us how. And the Sith."
"They tell two very different stories."
Ben propped himself up, half leaning toward Ailsa, half watching her face. She did not shy away from him, she just brought her gaze back from the miles above them and centered onto his face.
"Regardless of all that – please stop stealing the droid on your own." Ben stated plainly. "If you do it again I will program it to shock you."
"Oh, you will, will you?" She shoved him back onto his back. He often changed the subject when it came to talk of the future. He kept a shadow over his opinion on it; hiding his thoughts away from even her.
"Yes. Yes I will." Ben chuckled. "Uncle Luke wants me to help you work better with the team. If that means zapping you, then you're going to get zapped."
"Duly noted…"
It was silent for a long while, nothing happening between them except the motion of air.
"Ben?" Ailsa's voice barely broke the quiet.
"Mmm?" His eyes were closed now, his mind half meditating, half just trying to avoid thoughts of the future and its pressures.
"Do you think we'll have to go our separate ways?"
He heard her shift back onto her side, body facing his, tone a mere whisper.
"Do you think that your path and mine are going to have to split?"
The man rolled to face her and offered a smile of comfort, his eyes settling up Ailsa's. "I don't know." He confessed.
They said that a lot to each other. 'I don't know'. There was so much that they did not know.
Weeks passed. Time wandered by and the friends learned more of The Force and their place within it. Ben did manage to get Ailsa to work with a team, he found a way to nudge her toward the Path of The Jedi. It was just little encouragement, little training tips, a bit of tutoring, and a lot of talk. They could talk for hours and not remember what they had discussed. They could talk for mere minutes and remember every second. They never spoke of that kiss. Ailsa wished they would.
She and Ben were the only ones of their age at the Jedi Temple. They were often set against each other simply out of necessity. He learned to fight her dual blades, and she had to learn to combat his sheer strength and reach. He almost always won, and almost always in the same manner. It came down to sheer power. The Force was very strong with Ben Solo. He was very good at manipulating it. His reflexes were quicker, his strength greater, his mind better at predicting his opponent's next move.
It brought no end of frustration to Ailsa, but she did manage to outpace him. As soon as she had done it once, he'd never allow her to do it the same way again. It was unnerving how fast he learned. It was impressive how malleable his skills were.
They both now stood as young adults, waiting where other padawans might to take the side of a Jedi Master. There were none except Luke Skywalker, and he was not in a position to abandon his post as teacher and take on the universe with two young people.
He was busy. Maz Kanata helped a lot, leading meditation, assisting others get in touch with The Force. The little woman sat in front of Ailsa once and stared hard into her eyes, intensively studying her gaze, memorizing her features. She did not say anything, she just nodded, smiled with a quiet joy, and moved on to repeat the process with the next person.
When she came to Ben she stood before him for a long time. He had stopped growing upward and now all his maturing happened internally. Maz studied him hard, sometimes frowning, sometimes smiling, and always leaving with a little shake of the head. His path was one she could not predict. He was too much like his grandfather – too strong, too passionate, too full of youth at the height of his influence.
This was why Maz always encouraged Ben to train with Ailsa, to meditate with her. If he could find a path in a grey space, he could find a link between light and dark. That way if he ever fell toward the dark side, he would have a trail back. Perhaps.
Kanata sat and watched the pair train one day, their combat with live weapons a sight to behold. She was quick, often managing to get behind Ben and afford a moment of distraction. He knew she could hurt him in that moment, he knew she found his vulnerabilities. And he worked to knit them shut. Ben in return would drive such force down upon his opponent that they had no choice but to yield backward to him. They exchanged no words in their duels, simply communicating and reading each other ad Jedi should.
Maz rose from her position, watching the pair before drifting over to Skywalker and his field of young padawans. They all worked with sticks, whacking at each other's weapons and not at their opponent – such was the way when learning of swordplay. So much focus was put on the sword, so little on the fight.
Just over a low wall was where Ben and Ailsa fought. The high pitched whir of lightsabers signified that they were still at it, the sound so distinctive. Luke would often look on them, yelling at them. He had long since given up on separating them – not for lack of trying, but because Maz would get mad at him every time he did. The woman was so much like his old mentor and teacher that he could not argue with her too much. She read the world as Yoda had, and Luke felt as if she saw things he could not.
No one saw Ben's victory that day. No one except Ailsa. She had been pushed back by his weapon, feet slipping one step before she re-balanced and used her motion, transferring it forward and up. Her hands forced both of her blades into his, turning it away and pointing it down. Her foot came up to land a blow on the young man's temple, but just before she made contact he switched his saber off. The blue glow died suddenly, her lightsabers no longer having anything to balance off. It threw her off, sent her upper body twisting against her leg. He sent a blast of Force into her shin, just enough to topple her down and away. Ben reached out with his free arm, catching the back of her head with his palm and turning his weapon on in time to force the energy of her lightsabers into the ground and not along his side.
Ailsa stared up at Ben. He was grinning like a lunatic. She rolled her eyes and turned her weapons off, straightening a little to bring her weight off his arm. If he had not caught her she would have hit the deck hard. There was a moment though, just a pause. She stood straight and close to him, his hand still there at the nape of her neck. His smile faded a little, his mind clouding and deviating from task.
They stared at each other for a second that felt like an eternity. He studied her eyes, she tasted his lips. She kissed him with such ease, leaning into Ben and feeling him do the same. He drew closer, the hilt of his lighsaber falling to the ground so he might place a hand upon her waist and tug her nearer. Ailsa felt his chest moving against hers, felt the heat of his body from their training and the pounding of his heart. She settled her palm against his ribcage, feeling the beating against it.
The sound of Luke Skywalker broke them apart. He was calling a break for the young students and would no doubt do the same for his two older apprentices. They were apart from each other just in time, the imprint of Ben's hand burned into the back of Ailsa's neck in memory. Maz smiled at them as she came through into their training yard, petting the young woman on the hand.
"Time for lunch, you two. You can resume all that later."
The Skylander was pale enough for her blush to be evident, and Ben was quick to tease her for it. She shoved him and he caught her about the waist again, her own arm looping about his body in a friendly manner. To Skywalker it looked like a good friendship. To them it was now very different.
It was only a kiss.
It was all it had to be.
But it was never just a kiss.
Soon such kisses found their way under the stars, mingling with talk and secrets. They lay side by side with the taste of the other upon them, still tentative in their exploration like a swimmer might be venturing into the water on a cold day.
Luke noted a change in his nephew. He seemed less intense, less withdrawn. It had only been two months, and such a change may not be permanent, but whatever had clouded him before seemed to have lifted. Maz smiled more when she helped him with his meditation.
Ailsa and Ben never spoke of their intimacy. They simply spent time together and stopped thinking of what might happen and what the consequences may be. It was not within the Jedi Code, but Ben had not taken any oath yet. He was not ready to take the vows. He was not thinking of them when he was with her, and perhaps that disguised his path from everyone else. It gave them an excuse to think that he was still headed the right way, even if he knew he was no longer looking upon that path.
It was in the early days of winter when the connection between Ailsa and Ben concreted itself firmly. He'd always set his hand upon the nape of her neck when he wanted to draw her nearer. Soon his hands found other curves upon her, and he felt her touch upon him. It was awkward, whispered, full of blushes and misread, clumsy moments. Yet there was some laughter too, and a great deal of smiling. As skin set to skin and her warmth melted on his, all seemed to fade away. They were in her room, hidden away under the covers as the first snow began to fall outside.
He kissed her so deeply that night, felt her so intimately, and he got so lost. Ailsa never thought on which way was up or down, she just thought of him. She thought of what it was to love him as a friend, and what it was to make love to him now. He learned her body with fingers that acted as if they had never touched anything before. He treated her as if she might break. Such hesitance and awkwardness faded the next time, and as the cold months made themselves known, the pair learned of warmth and of what it tasted like when they were together. The air changed, it smelled different. He learned the planes of the small of her back, the lines of long legs, the joint in each one of her fingers. Ailsa knew what it was like to press her lips to his abdomen, she knew what he sounded like when he was lost in bliss, and she understood quietness with a greater accuracy when it settled upon them in the moments after.
He'd always brush her hair away, always trace the soft space between her ribcage and her hip, drawing lucid patterns on her flesh as she wrote old Skye runes upon his. He would always listen to her breath return to a normal rate, always feel her pulse drifting back.
Neither ever said 'I love you'. Not once. They were never loud, never shouting from the rooftop, never hiding from each other. They had to hide from Luke Skywalker, they had to keep secrets from Maz. They had to go about their training as per usual. Such a thing was not hard. As they had in the past, they found their time together and they made the most of it. She'd always fall asleep beside him, legs tangled with Ben's, his hands upon her. They never woke up together; they never could. That was one thing they did speak of; one desire that did find its way into words.
"I'd like to wake up with you here." She'd said one night, the new snow making the world more silent than before. "I don't care of Master Luke finds out."
Master Luke. She'd started using his title as she trained.
"My Uncle would not be impressed." Ben traced a finger over the curve of her backside, up toward the line of her spine and into the bend of her waist.
"He has more to think of than this." Ailsa pressed her lips to his collarbone, limbs weighted with happy pleasure.
"He has more to think on than he would like. It keeps his attention away from us…"
The Skylander grinned against Solo's skin, nipping ever so gently at his pulse. "So stay here. Do not sneak off into the night."
"There are things I must do…"
She looked up to him, staring over newly formed freckles to meet his gaze. He had such character marks upon his features, such spots to match the darkness of his eyes as they lay there in the dark. "What can you do at this hour?"
He did not say that he felt The Force in those early mornings. That the darkest part of the night touched him, that it wrought its way through his soul as it had since he was a child, wooing him with a dark lullaby.
"It does not matter. I should like to be here when the sun rises."
"But you wont be."
Ben's silence came as confirmation. "When we find an adventure together, we shall watch the sun rise together."
"We are on an adventure together. We have been since I that day your father brought you to Skye."
He hummed a noise of acknowledgement, body too relaxed to mention more. He was drawn away though, pulled by strings to the privacy of his room where more secrets than those he had shared with Ailsa transpired.
In the snow they changed their love. In the snow they stopped seeing the other as a child. In the snow it all changed; a path once left can be found, but a path once burned will never be the same.
A/N: If you're reading please drop by and say hello! Let me know what you think of the story so far. Constructive criticism is more than welcome, and I would be glad to hear from you. I will also do my upmost to reply to each review.
Little bit of romance. I never really went into the story with romance in mind. A strong connection, yes. I knew I wanted Ben to mirror Anakin in a way, and a lot of what guided Anakin before he went to the Dark Side was love. He had loved Padme since they were young. He loved her when he saw her again as an adult. His love for her was what brought him to the Dark Side. At least - that was how I always saw it.
It is good to note the poem that inspired this story in the first place - Auld Lang Syne by Robert Burns. "We two have paddled in the stream/from morning sun till dine/But seas between us broad have roared/since days gone by."