Ginny shifted on the rosewood chair and tried not to feel intimidated by the overt elegance of the parlour. The décor was done in creams and soft whites; the only touches of colour were from a few paintings and a fresh bouquet of flowers. Ginny had never felt so out of place. She was conscious of the fact that she was still wearing her orange work uniform; it made her feel like some garish bit of tinsel. Narcissa Malfoy's periodical nose scrunches weren't helping matters either. The woman looked like she was fighting off a bad smell. Snooty old cow.

"You're the one who invited me," Ginny wanted to say, along with much less flattering things that may have included telling Narcissa to shove her teacup where the sun didn't shine. As it was, Ginny bit her tongue and instead forced a smile.

Merlin, this was the pits. She knew that she should have put up more of a fight when Fred and George said she'd go with Detective Larkins to meet his client. It was not in her nature to let people make decisions for her. However, curiosity had got the better of Ginny. The thought of getting a large sum of money had been awfully tempting as well (it would at least silence her inner pragmatist). So, Ginny had allowed Detective Larkins to take her to his client for a full rundown of the situation. Oh, how she regretted that decision now.

Ginny had not been surprised to discover the client was Narcissa Malfoy. She was surprised, however, to learn that Draco Malfoy had already been asleep for two months (the fact that the news was kept from the tabloids for so long was a feat in itself). Oh, and that she was supposed to kiss him in order to wake him up.

"You're kidding, right?" Ginny said, looking between the detective and the blonde as if waiting for one of them to laugh.

"I would hardly joke about this," Narcissa said coolly. "My husband and I have done everything in our power to find a cure for this curse. We have hired curse breakers, magic researchers, Unspeakables, diviners, and detectives. Millions have been spent, Miss Weasley. All we have been able to discover is that True Love's Kiss is the only power that can save our son." Her nose did that little scrunching thing again. "And you, it seems, are my son's true love."

Ginny blinked. Then she blinked some more. Then she burst out laughing. "No, really," she said, wiping tears from her eyes. "This has to be joke. Draco Malfoy as my true love? That's rich."

Narcissa did not bat an eyelash. "I see nothing amusing about the situation."

Ginny swallowed back her giggles. Merlin's balls, this woman was actually serious.

Detective Larkins leaned forward in his chair. "It was a team of diviners and Unspeakables who pinpointed you as a candidate for Draco Malfoy's true love," he explained, perhaps sensing that Ginny wasn't ready to get off the Sceptical Express. "There were a few other women on the list as well, but they failed to break the curse."

Ginny's brow furrowed. "So, wait, are you saying that I'm the last one?"

Narcissa nodded. "We will be back to square one if this fails."

The redhead's frown deepened. Much as she still had her doubts about the whole True Love thing, it was obvious that Nacissa Malfoy was willing to try anything to get her son back on his feet again. Perhaps it was the older woman's only saving grace; Narcissa was stiff and unpardonably frigid (she had, after all, made Ginny sign a contract of silence before they had even got to Operation: Snog Comatose Malfoy), but there was still the heart of a loving mother beating inside her chest. Still, Ginny couldn't help but wonder.

"What does Astoria think of all this?" she asked, scratching her chin. "I mean, her fiancé is basically getting kissed by random women. That can't be fun."

Narcissa's lips thinned. "Miss Greengrass has already called off the engagement, though the news hasn't been made public yet. Naturally, she was the first to try breaking the curse when we learned that True Love's Kiss might be the answer."

"Ouch," Ginny said in sympathy.

Poor Astoria. She must have been mortified when the power of her kiss couldn't wake Malfoy. What a way to learn you weren't your fiancé's true love.

The blonde gave an elegant shrug. "It was Miss Greengrass's choice." She picked up the folder that lay on the table between them. "In any case, that is neither here nor there. Will you try break the curse or not?"

Ginny made a humming sound at the back of her front. "I just gotta kiss Malfoy, right?"

"That's right," Narcissa said, and removed a slip of paper from the folder in her hands. "Of course, there will be payment."

Ginny took the cheque. Her eyes bugged a little. Five hundred Galleons! Sheesh, Detective Larkins wasn't kidding when he said Narcissa would be willing to pay a large sum. Although, Ginny figured most of that gold was going towards the whole "sworn to secrecy" thing. It would look bad if the tabloids discovered the Malfoys were getting random females to snog their son in the hopes he would wake up. Just thinking about it made Ginny want to giggle.

"Alright," Ginny said with a shrug. "I'll do it."

She doubted her lips carried the magical wonders to break Malfoy's curse, but if all she had to do was kiss him to get five hundred Galleons, then heck. Sign her up! It wasn't like one little kiss was going to kill her.

Narcissa let out a small breath of relief. "Very well. I'll take you to my son now."

No dillydallying for Narcissa Malfoy. Not that Ginny minded. She was just as eager to get the matter out of the way (and get her hands on a nice pile of gold. Already, the delicious muffins from the café were calling her name). So it was that the three of them left the parlour and made their way through the manor to the makeshift hospital room where Draco Malfoy was being treated.

"In here," Narcissa said, opening the door.

Ginny walked to the bed and peered down at the sleeping blond. Magic had been used to keep Malfoy's body in good condition, allowing him to escape the emaciated look that usually went with comatose patients. His cheeks were a healthy enough colour (he'd always be a pasty-arsed git) and his silvery-blond hair looked soft and clean—not stringy at all. She couldn't help but note that his face had lost some of the rat-like quality from his school days. Chin and cheekbones were still sharp, but he had grown into the angles. He actually looked quite handsome, albeit in a doll-like way. Everything about him was too still. There was no emotion and no life.

Merlin, it was going to be like kissing a dead fish.

"Uh, so I guess I just go for it?" Ginny asked, casting a glance back at Narcissa and the detective.

Narcissa's nose did the scrunching thing again. If the blonde were a less reserved person, no doubt she would have made a snarky response. The detective just placed his palm against his forehead.

"I'll take that as a yes," Ginny said. Geez, these people could cut her some slack. They weren't the ones about to get their creeper on.

She clenched her hands into fists and moved closer to the bed. Right. Time to steel herself and do this thing! Don't think about the fact that Malfoy was unconscious (ew) or that it was Malfoy at all (double ew). Just suck it up and plant one on him!

"Here goes nothing," she muttered.

Puckering her lips in a half-cringing way, she closed the distance between her and Malfoy. His lips were chapped and unresponsive. There was nothing nice about the kiss. No sparks—magical or otherwise—and no reason for her to prolong the contact. It really was about as good as snogging a dead fish.

Then he moved.

Ginny froze. It had been the slightest motion from the blond—more a hitch of breath than anything—but it was something. She pulled her lips away. His eyelashes fluttered against his cheek. A second later, grey eyes met her widening gaze.

"Oh, shi—" Ginny began, only to get cut off.

Apparently, Malfoy didn't like it when he got woken up to find a Weasley inches from his face, even if she was his true love. He flung his arm out with a yelp and knocked her right onto her backside. She bit her tongue from the impact and spent the next few seconds cursing in a way that would have made Narcissa do the scrunchy nose thing had the blonde's attention not been absorbed with fussing over her son.

"Draco, please calm down," Narcissa pleaded, reaching for his hands. "I can explain everything."

Malfoy shrugged away from his mother's touch and pointed an accusing finger at Ginny. "What the hell is she doing here?" He swished his head from left to right, taking in the collection of magical equipment and monitors. "In fact, where the hell am I?"

"You're in your house, idiot," Ginny responded, getting to her feet and rubbing her bum (that was bound to leave a bruise). "You're welcome, by the way."

He blinked. "Huh?"

Detective Larkins stepped forward. "Mr Malfoy, is it possible that you don't remember anything?"

Malfoy's brow furrowed. "I don't know. Everything is hazy. I feel like something might have gone wrong at the engagement party, but—" he trailed off and ran a hand through his hair, messing up the silky strands.

Narcissa sat down next to him and placed her hand on his shoulder. "Darling, you were placed under the Hundred Year Sleeping curse. You've been asleep for two months."

His eyes widened. "Two months?"

She nodded and explained how he had ended up in his condition. By the end of the account, the colour had drained from his cheeks and a muscle ticked in his jaw. Ginny had to admit that she felt a bit sorry for him. He'd just learnt that he'd lost two months of his life—not to mention his fiancée—thanks to an obsessive woman who'd been unable to accept his engagement. That had to suck.

Malfoy's nose suddenly scrunched in a way that was reminiscent of his mother, only it looked much cuter on him (not that Ginny would admit as much aloud). "Wait a minute. Does this mean Weasley is supposed to be my true love?"

There was a pause as everyone turned to look at the redhead. Ginny jutted her chin. Yes, she was wearing a vibrantly orange uniform that stunk of cleaning potions. Yes, she didn't have the best curves in the world, was on the short side, and had enough freckles to form a freckle colony on her body. That said, even if she could nevercompare aesthetically to Miss I'm-So-Pretty-And-Proportioned Greengrass, Ginny would be damned if she'd stand there and let these people judge her as if she was some faulty creation that had been dumped on their laps.

"Hey!" she snapped, planting a hand on her hip and pointing her finger at Malfoy. "You don't get to look at me like that! I just saved you from sleeping for the next hundred years, you obnoxious prick, so you can take those judgy little looks of yours and shove 'em up your arse where they belong!"

Narcissa made a small sound of outrage. "How vulgar."

"Yeah, maybe I am vulgar," Ginny retorted, raising her chin even higher. "At least I'm not a conceited twat."

Malfoy raised his eyebrow. "Sounding pretty judgy there yourself, Weasley."

"I don't care," Ginny said mulishly. "You're a git, and you're an even bigger git if you think you have the right to criticise me just because some spell says I'm your true love." She let out a derisive snort. "As if I even want to be your true love."

Malfoy clenched his jaw. "Well, that settles it then," he said, turning up his nose, "because I don't want to be your true love either."

She folded her arms across her chest. "Fine."

"Fine," he echoed, mimicking her action.

There was a long pause as they both avoided looking at each other. It was as if they were having a competition to see who could maintain a state of haughty, dignified silence the longest.

Detective Larkins cleared his throat. "Uh, regardless of how you feel, it is a fact that you are each other's true lo—"

"Shut up!" Ginny and Malfoy said in unison. Then they glared at each other.

"Don't copy me!" Ginny said, jabbing her finger at him.

"You're the one copying me!"

"Am not!

"Are too!"

"Am n—"

Draco made a frustrated sound and threw his pillow at her. Ginny's eyes widened.

"Did you seriously just throw a pillow at me?" she demanded.

He pouted in a decidedly sulky way. "You were being annoying. Plus, I don't have my wand."

"So you threw a pillow at me? What are you, twelve?"

Narcissa just sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. "Draco, I know you're upset, but do try to have a little restraint. You're embarrassing yourself."

"I don't care," he said, pouting even more. "I just lost two months of my life because of some stupid curse, Astoria dumped me, and now I have to deal with the fact that this—" he pointed at Ginny "—this thing is my true love."

Ginny's cheeks flamed. "What do you mean 'thing'? I'll have you know that—"

"Yeah, yeah. You saved me and now I need to respect you, blah, blah, blah."

She puffed out her reddening cheeks. "You are such a brat!"

Malfoy crafted an expression of aloofness. "At least I'm not a gold digger."

Ginny choked on her own phlegm. She thumped her chest to stop her coughing fit. "Excuse me?"

"You heard me," he said, meeting her gaze. "The only reason you kissed me at all was because you wanted the money, right? It's not like you cared whether I woke up or not."

"You—that's just—" Ginny spluttered some more and then picked up the pillow from the ground and threw it back at him. "Gah! You don't know anything!"

Detective Larkins scratched his chin. "If I remember correctly, your brothers—"

"Shut up!" Ginny and Malfoy snapped, rounding on the detective again.

"Why are you even still here?" Malfoy demanded, raising his eyebrow at the older man. "The matter has been solved. Case closed. You're just—"

"Draco," Narcissa said warningly.

Malfoy rolled his eyes, but he didn't say anything further. Instead, he hugged his knees to his chest and stared off in the other direction. The Epic Sulk was on. He looked like a little kid who'd had his favourite toy taken from him. It was kind of adorable, actually (if in a petulant, ye-gods-Malfoy-was-so-annoying kind of way). All Malfoy wanted was to be rude to the detective, but Narcissa wouldn't let him.

"You are such a Mummy's boy," Ginny observed with a snort.

Malfoy's cheeks splotched with pink. He opened his mouth to retort, but Narcissa silenced him with a few well-chosen words before she stood up to attend to Detective Larkins. The poor guy had clearly reached his limit for the day—what, with being punched in the nose, told to shut up every time he opened his mouth, getting threatened by canaries, and dealing with such an odd case in general; it was more of a surprise that he had lasted this long. Not that Ginny cared either way. Detective Larkins was about as interesting as a rock. So, instead of sympathising with him, she took the opportunity to mouth "Mama's boy" at Malfoy while Narcissa's back was turned.

Slate-grey eyes narrowed. "Gold digger," Malfoy mouthed back.

Ginny's lips curved up at the corners. Oh-ho, so he wanted to play, did he? Well, the fight was on! She had six older brothers. She was not going to lose to a spoilt, rich-kid brat like him.

So it was that while Narcissa apologised on behalf of the "fated" couple, said witch and wizard commenced in a battle of the most immature proportions. Rude names were slung, all manner of "your mum" insults were tossed back and forth, ancestors were dragged through the mud (even if they did share the same ancestry to a point, thanks to the tradition of pureblood intermarriage), and all of it was done without either of the contenders making a sound. Ginny had to admit that she was impressed Malfoy was able to keep up. His repertoire could do with some work, though.

"Did you just call me a gorilla?" Ginny demanded, unable to let that one slide. Somehow, she had ended up sitting cross-legged on the bed with him (only so she could read lip-read better, of course). "I mean gorilla? Really, Malfoy?"

Malfoy blinked. "What? No, I called you carrot top."

"Carrot top?" Ginny repeated, wrinkling her brow. "That's somehow even more pathetic."

"It's better than Lumos Head."

"But your hair is so luminescent-y," Ginny said with a grin, and reached out to fluff some of the silvery-blond strands. "You can be like that reindeer in the Muggle song." She put on a sing-song voice, changing the pitch for the echo parts as she sang: "Malfoy the pasty-arsed wizard, had some very shiny hair. And if you ever saw it (saw it), you might even think it's a flare (or a Lumos spell)!"

Malfoy's mouth twitched. "You're a total nut, you know that?"

Ginny's grin widened. "Just telling it like it is, Malfoy."

There was a sigh from behind them. "Are you two still bickering?"

It was Narcissa. The older woman had apparently sorted out Detective Larkins and sent him off with a final cheque. Ginny and Malfoy had been so caught up in their Insult Off that they hadn't even noticed the man's departure. Oh well. Detective Larkins had been like wallpaper anyway. What was more important to Ginny was that her work here was done.

Ginny stood up and smoothed down her uniform. "Well, I had better be going now." She saluted to Malfoy. "Don't go getting cursed again, eh? I don't want to have to reprise my role as your Knight in Shining Armour."

A dusting of pink stained his cheeks. "Just go away, Weasley."

Her eyes danced and she swept into a mock bow. "As you wish, most luminescent-y of all true loves."

Malfoy responded by throwing the pillow at her head.

Ginny cackled and dodged the pillow, then turned to face Narcissa. The older woman seemed to have lost some of her snooty reserve (at the very least, she no longer appeared to be suffering from a bad smell she could not escape). Instead, a few creases formed on Narcissa's brow and she gave Ginny a thoughtful look, as if seeing the redhead in a new light. Huh. That was unnerving.

"Um, so we're done here, right?" Ginny asked, shifting on her feet. "I mean, all I had to do was wake up Malfoy, and I've done that."

"Indeed," Narcissa said. "Please remember to uphold your end of the contract."

"Yeah, yeah, I know." Ginny waved her hand airily. "Don't let anyone know I kissed Malfoy to break the curse." She laughed. "As if I would go around saying I snogged an unconscious guy in the hopes he woke up. That would just make me look like a creep."

"You are one," Malfoy called from the peanut gallery. "I feel violated just thinking about it."

Ginny poked her tongue out at him. It was only later, once she had left the manor and was banking her cheque at Gringotts, that she realised why Narcissa's expression had changed. It was because Ginny and Malfoy's insults had also changed. Tone, expression, even the words used towards each other; it had all shifted from anger and frustration to more of a—dare she even use the word—flirtatious banter.

"Sweet Merlin," Ginny said, letting her Gringotts' key slip from her fingers at the same time her jaw dropped. "I was flirting with Malfoy. Malfoy."

This would not do at all.