Searching for the map became and all-consuming focus for Kylo Ren. He was overly focused on finding Skywalker; on locating his uncle, his mentor, and removing him from the universe. Ailsa followed his orders, but not without question. He seemed to dislike that a great deal – for the past decade he had been feared and respected, and yet along came this ghost from his past who offered him respect but who took the risk of questioning him, of doubting him. In a way it kept him on his toes, it made him sharper; perhaps that was exactly what Snoke wanted. Perhaps the aim was to make Kylo Ren better by bringing someone to his side who knew him more than anyone else and could read him like a book. Yet, all he had to do to shut Ailsa off was put on his helmet. She could not read the mask. She still did not know what to do with it.
He kept her close, making her essentially an assistant, keeping her as near as a shadow. He did not know if she would betray him, just as he had done to her all those years ago. He did not know if she would tell The Resistance of his work, or whomever she had worked for in their years apart.
The more time Ailsa spent by Kylo Ren the more she saw snippets of Ben in him. Mostly in private. There was the way he ran his hand through his hair, how he clenched his jaw, the way he dressed. Old habits die hard, and it seemed that Ben Solo had clung on in tiny ways. It made her sad but also so hopeful. Perhaps this was still Ben under a different name; a lost boy, or rather a soul under the influence of some great force. Snoke had him in his grasp, had him wound to the idea of power and ability. Yet Snoke did not help Kylo Ren develop a more mature style of fighting. He remained a loose cannon; wielding strength and ability in equal measure but not possessing the poise and distinction of a Jedi or Sith Lord. He was neither. He was a Knight of his own order.
Ailsa found that he let her into his life a little more with each day, letting his guard down a bit. Hux hated her all the while. He pretended she was not there, and when he did have to acknowledge the Skylander he did not call her by her name. He gave her a once-over and called her a 'pet', or simply 'girl'. Kylo did not seem to notice, or rather, he did not seem to mind. Ailsa had tried to kill Hux at one point, so a degree of mistrust was very well warranted. She could very easily still be on board to complete her task.
It soon came time to follow leads closely regarding Skywalker and his presence. A map was starting to take shape, piece by piece coming together. Ailsa was sent to a jungle planet to retrieve information. The air there had been so thick, the humidity of the place insufferable. Yet, inside the below-ground bunkers sat a world of coolness, of underground caverns and lakes, waterfalls that tumbled from the surface and looked as if they were falling from the sky itself.
The woman was there with Kylo, The First Order still not trusting her to go out alone. He drew stares wherever he went, his mask and black attire making him stand out. He had given her new clothes; black like his with a cape and hood of grey to shield her head despite the heat. Ailsa did not keep the hood up, preferring to blend in by moving in plain sight. They would remember Kylo. They may not remember her.
He entered a private residence on the planet, moving in without warning and forcing the door open. All was silent inside despite The Force indicating that there may be life within the walls. They were hiding. Kylo was quick to pull a man from within the closet, lifting him with The Force and setting him in a chair, holding him down without touching him.
"What do you know of Skywalker?" He asked. So blunt. So lacking in finesse. Ailsa wondered why she was there if he was to do the brunt of the work. The man was trembling, unable to speak for his terror.
The woman lifted a hand to her commander to indicate that she might like to take over; that results may occur if a finer touch was involved. The stranger seemed to sag in relief as the pressure of The Force was lifted from him. Ailsa moved to stand before him. She felt her clothing; felt the blackness, the darkness, the way her pale skin seemed to stand out so starkly against her attire. She must have looked intimidating despite her size. She did not like it.
"You have children." Ailsa stated, gaze flitting about the home. A few toys lay here and there, plates for more than one sitting on the table, clothes laying around that would not fit a grown man. "They are here. I will not touch them, but…it is up to you what they see done here today. They could see you cooperate with us, or they could something else entirely. It is up to you."
The man looked from Kylo's masked face to the woman before him. His eyes were wild. He was a supporter of The Resistance no doubt. One side or the other. It was always one side or the other. Always absolutes. Never the middle ground.
"Look." Ailsa stared at the cupboard where the man had been hiding before bringing her gaze to him. "Look at me. They're scared already. You made them hide. No doubt someone spotted us coming and ran to tell you, and you all rushed up to hide. There is still food in the oven cooking. It'll burn soon. Tell us what you know of Skywalker, and you can have your meal and sleep in your own bed tonight. Don't tell us…"
He broke at that. Family man. Family men were easy. They were protectors of their castle, and the moment you breeched their walls they crumbled down. Their home was their treasure; leave it in tact and they'd offer you whatever else they had.
Ailsa was guided to a secret safe hidden under the floor. A drive was hidden there; another piece of the map. The woman handed it to Kylo and encouraged the man to his feet. She looked at him, eye to eye, and spoke in a level tone. "Tell no one of this. Whoever informed you of our arrival – tell them that we simply came to pass along a message. That message is that you are to cut ties with The Resistance. We will find you if you do not."
He nodded, fingers shaking. Ailsa smoothed his jacket in an idle manner before glancing into the house. "Enjoy your meal." She finished before heading for the door.
Kylo Ren turned is lightsaber on. It hissed to life and he went to strike the man down. Ailsa wanted to stop him; she wanted to step in and block his blow with her own weapon. If she did she would be exposing herself, her words undone with the man and his family in a single second. Strife between the pair from The First Order would be seen. That image was a hard one to build. People believed in stories. You had to make sure such things were believable.
The red blade stopped just short of the man's throat, the glow singing the hairs on his head and his whole face quivering. Kylo Ren looked to Ailsa. She stood at the doorway and watched him, wondering what he might do next.
"Not a word." He stated to the man, weapon closing. He'd tested her. He wanted to see what she'd do.
They left quickly, moving into the planet and toward their ship with a trained deftness.
"You were going to kill him." Ailsa stated flatly. "Why?"
"What use is he now?" The mask distorted his voice, made him sound less like a man.
"Wars are not won by death. They are one with information." The woman replied as she stepped aboard their ship. "You can cut down as many as you like; there will always be more. Make they talk and say what you want them to say – the Resistance grows weak, people stop believing in their power, and soon you can just pluck what you like."
The door to the craft shut and Kylo's helmet came off. He stood there and watched the planet begin to drop away as they lifted from the surface. "You think you know more of war than me? I have been training for this since…"
"So have I." She cut him off. "I have been trained for this since they discovered I was Force Sensitive. You don't have to kill everything."
"What is the problem with killing? You cant save everyone."
"I wont murder everyone either. Wiping out anything that believes differently to you is not the answer."
"So you think what was done at the Jedi Temple was barbaric? You think it primitive?"
"I think you believe it was necessary." Ailsa replied heavily. "I do not think it was necessary to kill an unarmed man in a far off corner of the universe."
"It is amusing that you thought it up to you."
The woman was quiet for a moment, moving to sit near a window as they launched into space and headed for Kylo Ren's main ship. "Do you think what you did…that night was barbaric?" She glanced at him. "Do you think it was awful?"
"I know you think it was." He moved to set his helmet down, leaning on the wall beside the window and staring at the same view.
"That isn't what I asked."
Kylo Ren was silent. "Everyone dies, Ailsa. What The First Order is doing is…I will finish what Vader started."
Darth Vader had killed the padawns at the Jedi Temple too. He had slaughtered them in a similar manner. "You do not have to be your grandfather." Ailsa mentioned. "This is not the same universe as the one he lived in."
"I will make it the universe he wanted."
"And you think The First Order will do that?"
"Yes."
The woman exhaled slowly.
"What?" Kylo raised an eyebrow at her.
"Nothing. Nothing. I think…I am glad you let me do it my way today. Thank you." She knew that saying too much would not result in anything. "I know…I know you could easily have done it in the manner you decided. But you let me have a go. You could have pulled the information from that man's mind, but you didn't."
He said nothing.
"I appreciate it. I believe that my…skills are effective. I think you can use them."
"I am using them. I am using you."
Ailsa nodded. "I know."
"This isn't fun and games, Ailsa. This isn't training anymore. This is the real deal. This is what you do now. You work for me. You are one of my knights."
"I know."
"I will not treat you any differently to them. I will not expect anything differently to what I expect from them."
"I know."
"So why don't I believe you?"
"Because you know that…you know that I know you in a way that they do not. You know that, of all of your knights, I am the one you can trust the most. You do not send me away to work solo because you do not trust me; you keep me near because you want me near."
"And because I want to know who you worked for."
"Find out. Its in my head."
"Don't." He stated bluntly.
"There are secrets in this universe for a reason. I just so happen to be good at learning them."
"Hmm."
"Kylo." Ailsa stood and faced him, her approach private and personal "You know me like no one ever has, and I know you. We were made for this, you and I."
"What? Each other?"
"No. No, no. For this universe, for this time. Some people are just born in a time and space…we were made for it."
"To do what?"
"Are you really asking that? You seem to be the most sure about what you were born for."
"I want to hear it from you."
"You wont hear what you want to hear from me."
"I know."
She studied his face, learned his expression. She had not seen that expression before. Ailsa raised a hand to sit upon his collar. "Seas have roared between us. There is a space there and we both look upon it and do not know what to do. But I can still see you, and you can still see me. And I can see you because you are not in complete darkness yet. The light clings to you. You fight it, but it clings hard."
Kylo turned his head to look at her hand, to study her fingers for a moment. "And what do I do to bring about the darkness?"
"I don't know." She confessed. "But if you do bring it about…you'll never see me again. I am tied to both sides, and if you cannot see the light anymore – you'll no longer be able to see half of me."
"But I'll have the other half."
"Half is not enough for you."
"Come to the Dark Side, Ailsa. There doesn't have to be a gap. Join me."
"I have joined you, but not them." She swallowed. "You know that I need both to live. I must have balance, Ren. It is the core of who I am."
"The First Order will bring balance."
"Maybe, but you will not have it yourself."
Kylo Ren let out a sigh. He hit the wall with sudden anger, no noise coming from him. Ailsa's eyes closed, jaw tight as she heard the thud of his fist. He was so angry. He was driven by so much passion, so much hurt, so much rage. He heard the truth and he lashed out at it, striking at it until there was nothing left and he could shape his own belief.
Ailsa took his hand, taking it from where it sat hard upon the wall. There was a dent on the inside of the ship, The Force he had used having reverberated up the wall and shaken the entire craft. She took his hand and felt his pulse beneath his glove. She pulled the leather from his skin and examined his flesh. He was completely unharmed, but she set her lips to his palm all the same.
"You don't walk this past alone, but if I am to come along – I am bringing a light."
"You must not." He stated angrily. "I forbid it."
"You can't forbid it. Ignore it, shun it, but where I go – it goes. If you want all black, you have the wrong person at your side."
"I need you." He hissed. He didn't need her to function. He didn't need her to live. He needed her simply to remember that he wasn't just a machine. He needed her to feel his full power; to feel the extent of being human.
"Okay." Ailsa nodded. "Okay."
"Learn to walk in the darkness. I will teach you."
"I will teach you of the shadows, but light is needed for that."
"We have no need of shadows."
"War is made up of grey, Kylo."
"People are not. I am not."
"No. No you're not."
" Do not speak to me of the light. Do not tell me of it. I do not want it in my life."
"Understood."
He let out a huff and retrieved the new information from his clothes. He left her and set the device on a console, sending the intel to The Star Killer Base and to his own ship.
"Jakku." He stated without meaning. "That is where we are to go next. Jakku."
Ailsa examined the map that lifted before them, watching it, committing it to memory. "Jakku? There is nothing there but sand."
"Sand hides a lot of things. It hid my uncle as a child, it may hide him now as an old man."
"Okay." She did not know what she would do when they found Skywalker. She did not know what would be done when Kylo found him. She just knew that she would be there. She had to be there.
"Okay." Ailsa reiterated. "Jakku."
"Don't let me down." Kylo stated fiercely, intent upon the woman, his mood shifting so suddenly now that he had a new focal point. Jakku. His uncle. The end of all this. "Do not disappoint me."
A/N: So we are about to jump right into TFA plotlines now. I hope you're enjoying the story so far! Let me know what you think. Constructive criticism is always welcome!
I also apologise if posting has been a bit slow. Unfortunately, I have lost someone near to me to illness, and while writing is a great escape - it has been hard to get the time.