"This is definitely not scary at all."

Alec stared intensely at the familiar blue eyes in front of him that currently looked frightened and over-tired. Being a Shadowhunter meant that Alec didn't get scared easily by much, or if he did his body and mind had learned long ago to push that fear down to a place where it couldn't see the light of day. But here he was, trying to convince himself that he wasn't frightened; and that fear that so often got pushed away somewhere dark and inconceivable was now likely to make a rather graphic reappearance in the toilet bowl next to him if he didn't get himself under control.

"You are being ridiculous Alexander," he told his reflection sternly, but the words made him blanch and feel like all the air had been sucked out of his lungs because he sounded so like his mother when he said it. He leant over the sink, half-resting his bodyweight on the cool ceramic and tried to take in a deep breath, hoping that it would help slow down his racing heart. He felt a small clench in his chest as he briefly remembered his mother and wished that she was still with him and able to give him a stern talking to. The thought, though only fleeting, threatened to bring him to tears and he threw his head back dramatically and looked up at the magnolia ceiling to try and will the moisture back into him with the aid of gravity.

"Alec?!"

"I'm in here!"

Magnus appeared at the entrance to the bathroom in a flurry of glittery splendour. His boyfriend was about to say something but stopped himself and suddenly appeared concerned when he spotted Alec's countenance and pale face.

"Sweetheart –" he began

"Don't. I'll be fine. I'm just a bit nervous. What did you want?" Magnus furrowed his brow and strode over with purpose. The Warlock wrapped his arms protectively around the Shadowhunter and pulled him away from the sink into a warming hug.

"I was just wondering if you knew where my boots were. The ones with the red on them and the tie buckle? You'll be fine, sayang. You've been running the Institute for weeks anyway. Why should today be any different?"

"Because today I am officially in charge, not just holding the fort. If anything goes wrong from now on I will be directly responsible." Alec buried his face into Magnus' neck and breathed in his scent, allowing the familiar and lovely smell to wash through him and calm him.

"It's alright; I promise I won't get you into trouble."

Alec could feel and hear the cheeky smile on his lover's face, rather than see it. He pulled away and gave the other man a small shove in his shoulder.

"Ow!" Magnus announced dramatically in response, but Alec ignored him.

"I'm serious. I think I may have stage fright…" Alec mumbled and looked down at the tiled floor.

"You're not a performing monkey, Alec," Magnus told him seriously, pulling the side of his face up so their eyes were locked. Alec was only able to smile weakly at his boyfriend.

"You, my love, are the Head of the New York Institute; a fine example of a Nephilim warrior and the hottest piece of ass in the tri state area, possibly the entire world."

Alec shot his lover a dangerous look that made the Warlock chuckle and plant a small, chaste kiss on his cheek. He hated it when Magnus referred to him as 'a piece of ass' or similar crude epithets, especially before 9am. And Magnus knew it and delighted in dropping in the odd comment to annoy him deliberately.

"They're in the closet – I put them away last night," Alec sighed, feeling too unwell to berate him any further. It took a second for Magnus to realise that Alec was referring to the boots he hadn't been able to find.

"Thanks," he said when he eventually comprehended. "You know I'm only a phone call away if you need me. And I know I can't say nothing will happen, because we both know demons tend to show up at the most inopportune times, but I know everything will be fine. Isabelle and Jace are here and I am only over in Astoria so can be back to you in a flash if you need me."

"How long do you think you'll be?" Alec asked hopefully.

"You know I have no way of telling, baby," Magnus cooed at him, stroking his hair tenderly. "The Astoria appointment will be the long one, but I did promise that I would go see a Warlock in the West Village this afternoon who is having a bit of trouble with a pixie, so I will make my excuses and leave Astoria by two, half two the latest. Should be back with you by four I should imagine."

"Great. Nine hours by myself…" he grumbled darkly, knowing he was being unfair, but also loving the way Magnus' nose crinkled when he thought Alec was mad with him for neglecting him.

"Oh darling, come on," Magnus pleaded, gripping Alec's hands in his own and resting his forehead on the Shadowhunter's. "I love you."

"I love you too," Alec told him earnestly, kissing his lips gently.

"I will make it up to you later," Magnus told him with a wink, and Alec couldn't help but laugh. Magnus had certainly made him feel better. If he could just make it through today he knew he would feel better by tomorrow. Or, judging by the way Magnus was licking his lips, he was going to feel a lot better by this evening.

He decided to see Magnus out and then felt immediately stupid waving him off at the entrance to the Church. He was hardly Magnus' housewife. Then, with a deep breath, Alec went up to the Institute to begin his first day as its Head. Butterflies were beating up a storm in his stomach as he attempted to walk towards the Office as calmly as possible.

"Morning!"

Alec almost shot out of his skin as Jace jumped out at him and cheerily chorused in his ear.

"Jumpy little fella, aren't you?" Jace mocked, an annoying little smile playing at his lips and a single golden eyebrow cocked. Alec had fallen into the wall when his parabatai had startled him so in order to try and maintain a modicum of dignity he straightened up as much as he could and coughed dismissively. Being tall anyway, Alec always felt a buzz of precious superiority over his adopted brother when he rose to his full height and knew he stood a few inches higher. Alec glared at him and swept away in defiance.

"Hey, wait up!" Jace yelled and bounded after him, almost knocking him over as he collided (deliberately, Alec suspected) into him.

"You going to come training?"

"Training?" Alec asked him incredulously.

"Yes, Alec. Trai-ning. It's what we have to do to stay in tip-top demon-hunting shape? Just because Sebastian is gone it doesn't mean all the demons in the Universe have disappeared."

"I am aware of what training is and what it entails, thanks."

"So why won't you come and train with me?"

"You know why I can't come training with you."

"No, I don't. Why can't you?"

Alec halted abruptly and turned to face him.

"Please don't Jace, not today. Just give me a break just this once? Please?" He knew begging wasn't a very leader-y thing to do, but the thought of Jace goading him and getting him into trouble today made him want to be violently sick.

"I don't know what you are talking about and I have no idea why you won't come and train with me." To be fair to him, Jace was starting to look genuinely concerned. "Don't tell me you're too good to train with me now you are Head of the New York Institute?" he teased.

"Hey guys!" Izzy's voice carried from the other end of the hallway. "You going to the training room? I was going to head there and do some practice with the new khopesh blades that arrived the other day. Everyone used them quite a bit in Paris." She looked carefully from one of them to the other, inspecting them with a confused expression on her face. "What's going on? Have you two been fighting?"

"Alec is far too important to train with us now he's the Head of the Institute Izzy. Come, let us base foot soldiers leave the High Commander to his… High Commanding, or whatever it is he does." Jace was grinning wickedly and flourishing his hands dramatically as he mocked him.

"Shut up Jace," Alec grumbled. It wasn't the best retort in the world.

"Yes sir!" Jace yelled as he stood to attention and saluted.

"Jackass."

"So why can't you come training then?" his sister asked him, ignoring Jace completely. He envied her sometimes.

"I want to, but I just can't. This is a big responsibility…"

"Well what Head of Institute duties have you got to do today?"

"There's the shipment of new Seraph Blades… And, you know, it's my first official day today and Jia might call or send a fire note or something."

"Wait, didn't you order the Seraph Blades on Friday?" Isabelle asked him suspiciously.

"Yeah, but I should be around in case there is a problem with the order or the shipment or anything," Alec told her in a small voice. He hadn't even managed to convince himself.

"So actually what you are saying is that you don't actually have anything to do that is involved with the running of this place?" she asked with a smirk.

"Yay! Alec can come play with us!" Jace rejoiced mockingly.

"Look guys, I don't think it's a good idea to leave my post…"

"Alexander Gideon Lightwood: the running of the New York Institute is a very serious and important duty. But first and foremost you are a Shadowhunter and you need to train. If any of the Clave needs to contact you urgently then you will still be reachable by fire note up in the training room."

She sounded so final as she walked off that Alec and Jace followed her without another word.

Izzy would have been way better at this than me…

Alec's gloomy thoughts and general nervousness didn't subside until he had gone a few rounds with his feather staff against a mannequin. He felt a little bit sorry for the mannequin, but at least he was smiling again and his stomach no longer felt like it was doing acrobatics. Before he knew it the clock that hung high on the west wall of the room was showing two o'clock.

"Lunch?" Izzy announced. Jace looked at him, a scared look in his eyes.

"Ummm… I think I'm still not feeling too well," Alec lied. He was ravenous.

Isabelle clucked loudly and rolled her eyes as she packed away a few throwing blades. "There's some cold meat in the fridge left over from when Aline cooked. And I picked up some bread and French cheese from Union Square this morning. Thought we could have a 'french lunch'."

"Wow. I have to admit, for the first time, the idea of you preparing lunch hasn't made me nauseous Iz," Jace conceded. She scowled at him and slammed the lid shut on a weapons trunk. Alec was just about to go and break up whatever fight ensued between them when a fire note appeared in front of him. He grabbed it and opened it up quickly, curious to discover its content; his siblings stared over at him, their impending scuffle suddenly forgotten.

Hi Alec,

Hope you are well. I've been trying to get through to you this morning with no luck. Can you give me a quick call urgently please?

Thanks and speak soon,

Jia

"Shit. It's from the Consul," Alec told them. He could feel the colour drain from his face.

"What did she say?" Isabelle asked excitedly. She was so nosy sometimes and appeared to live for the latest gossip. Alec furrowed his brow accusedly at his siblings.

"She said she's been calling all morning and I need to give her a call back – urgently," he told them grimly before sweeping around and stalking irritably from the room. It was all their fault, convincing him to spend all day in the training room, that he had missed all of Jia's calls. He really hoped that this didn't mean he was in trouble.

Isabelle and Jace were quick to follow him and on his heels in a matter of seconds; his sister grabbed the note from him and read it. If he hadn't been in a rush to get back to the office and call the Consul back he would have told her off for her manners.

"Alec, this doesn't seem serious at all. She sounds like she just wants to chat!"

He ignored her.

Alec hurried into the library and headed straight for the black telephone with a direct line into Idris. He felt slightly numb, as if his panic had acted like some sort of anaesthetic. The phone was ringing by the time he realised Isabelle and Jace had followed him into the room and it was now too late to demand that they clear off as the Consul could answer at any second.

"Consul Penhallow," came the clear, familiar voice on the other end of the line.

"Um, hi, it's Alec. Alec Lightwood." He tried to sound nonchalant, but Alec thought the slight shake in his voice was noticeable nevertheless.

"Alec!" she responded cheerily, immediately making him feel a little better. "How's it going? Did you know that today is your first official day as Head of the New York Institute?"

"Yeah, I know…"

"Well how is everything then? Not had any disasters have you? You weren't around earlier – I do hope it wasn't a demon attack."

"No, I was just training with Isabelle and Jace," he told her truthfully. Best to be honest and take responsibility for his actions than get caught out about it later and branded a liar; he'd never been good at lying, unlike his sister who made it look like an art-form.

"Oh, splendid. That is something that will be coming up at the next Council meeting actually – how too many people in the Clave with administrative-based jobs don't do enough training and patrolling. Good to see you're on the pulse."

Alec gawked.

"But I do have something very important to ask you, Alexander. As Jace and Isabelle are approaching eighteen next year New York is one of the most senior of our Institutes at the moment."

Alec was so shocked at her response to his training earlier that words didn't want to form for him anymore, and he found himself murmuring in ascent rather than actually speaking.

"We're having a bit of a crisis in Idris at the moment. As you know, we suffered a heavy loss and extensive damage to the City. Many children were orphaned because of the Battle; it is a grim reality that our people are all too familiar with. Unfortunately, the Academy was ruined and it will take time to rebuild."

"Oh no, that's terrible," Alec managed to tell her, though he wasn't really listening. If running the Institute meant that he could just carry on training and hunting with Jace and Izzy and not doing too much else then this was going to work out wonderfully. He would have to visit Idris quite a bit from now on for meetings and the like, but this did mean that the change to his day-to-day life would be fairly minimal.

"Yes, indeed. I am going to be completely frank with you, Alec. We have an abundance of young Nephilim here in Idris and only a limited amount of room to house them. To be honest, until we can get the demon towers up and running to full power again, I would not feel comfortable having all of those who were orphaned remaining in Idris at all, especially as many of the remaining families have moved away. I need the Institute to help shoulder the burden."

By the time he had finished the phone call Isabelle and Jace both looked thoroughly bored. They had remained in the library with him whilst he had heard what the Consul had to say no doubt with the hope that they would overhear some important piece of gossip.

"Well?" Isabelle asked him, not without a certain amount of irritation.

Alec let out a sigh and sat back in the large wing-backed chair, the vast desk separating himself from his siblings. He suddenly felt exhausted.

"They want the Institute to take in a couple of kids," he told them both candidly. There was no point trying to sugarcoat it. Isabelle and Jace stared at him, their mouths agape and barely comprehending. "A lot of kids were orphaned because of Sebastian; and the Academy… well, let's just say it doesn't really exist anymore. Even if it did, they wouldn't be able to take in so many Nephilim children. They are spreading the orphans amongst all of the Institutes that have capacity."

"Wards? Are we ready for that?" Isabelle asked him seriously. Alec could only shrug. He didn't know what this meant or what to do. He couldn't have refused the Consul's request, though he was beginning to feel his nausea returning.

"I'm not sure I'm ready for kids…" Jace observed. Alec shot him a withering look

"How many do we get? Who are they?" his sister enquired, her pretty face serious and pale.

"Two boys – they're brothers, one is fourteen and the other is ten. Their parents were killed in the Battle but fought on our side – Sebastian didn't turn them. I can't remember their names now, but I know they have lived in Alicante all their lives. It's just not safe there at the moment, and there is no capacity for them to stay with families in the City."

"Alec, we're hardly qualified to take care of any kids. You're the only one here who is of age and you're only nineteen. Jia had to ask the Council if it would be ok for me and Isabelle to continue living at the Institute with you without any additional adult supervision and I know they made a special dispensation because of the circumstances, but asking us to take on two children as well? I'm not sure we would be able to cope." Finally, Jace was talking sense and not acting like a complete prat.

"Jia thought it would be a good idea to ask Jocelyn and Luke to help out. What do you guys think?"

"You're the one in charge Alec," Isabelle told him loudly and rather sternly.

"Well I don't particularly need Clary's parents at the Institute all of the time…" Jace said as he wrung his hands in an uncharacteristically nervous gesture. Alec could sympathise with that – although there was no chance of him ever having to spend time with Magnus' parents, he remembered all too well how awkward it was to be intimate with the Warlock in front of his own mother. Jace and Clary's relationship had always been intense, but since the big battle things had got a lot more heated between them. He wasn't sure why Jace had felt the need to tell him all the details, though Alec had tried his best to indulge him rather than turning his nose up in distaste and pulling out the 'gay card' (which was how Izzy had so eloquently put it and urged him to do). He could imagine that if Jocelyn and Luke's presence at the Institute were to increase it would seriously affect their (very unnecessarily noisy) sex life.

"It was just a thought. Don't think they will be moving in here any time soon," Alec tried to soothe, smiling weakly at his parabatai.

"Well I think it is a cheek to ask you to do this. I bet they aren't sending any to LA," Izzy complained.

Alec wrinkled his nose at this. "Well, no, probably not. They have more than their fair share of young Nephilim at the LA Institute so it would hardly be fair to burden them with any more. Besides, it makes more sense to spread the orphans as evenly as possible geographically, so that we have decent numbers of Shadowhunters in every part of the world. The one boy is fourteen years old; he will be able to help out with patrols."

"And how do you think Magnus will feel about all this?" she asked him calmly, though her expression was one of fury and displeasure. He hadn't expected her to be thrilled about the idea. Though he had no idea why she was reacting like this. Alec tried to ponder what his boyfriend's reaction would be, but Magnus was far too unpredictable for him to fathom it. The Warlock did seem to love children and was very good with them, so he hoped this would not cause a complete blow-up.

"I'm not saying you wouldn't make great fathers, but have you spoken about having children?" she continued, raising her eyebrows in question. Alec almost fell off his chair.

He had never thought about having children. He was gay and he had accepted a long time ago that he would never have a relationship with a woman and would therefore never have children. Taking on the two brothers as an official Clave duty didn't count as having children, surely? They weren't babies and there wasn't any suggestion that they would require adopting. The shock of his sister's suggestion was enough to start his mind racing, though. Would Magnus think that Alec would have to take on the responsibility of being these boys' father?

Isabelle let out a long sigh and flung her arms in the air. "I just don't want this amazing position as Head of the New York Institute to become a burden for you Alec."

He drooped his heads into his hands in exasperation. He was definitely not going to enjoy telling Magnus about all of this. The room had turned very awkwardly silent suddenly, and when Alec looked up he found Izzy was staring at her nails, trying to bite down her frustration and Jace was simply staring into the distance, a strange expression on his face.

"Jace?" Alec enquired. "What do you think?"

His parabatai cleared his throat. "I was just wondering whether you think I am a burden too."

Alec bolted upright and looked at him with concern. He could tell Jace was being serious.

"Of course we don't, what a ridiculous thing to say," Isabelle told him, her voice softening now.

"Well, these boys have lost their parents, like I lost mine. And like me they have been thrown to the mercy of the Lightwood family and the New York Institute. Was I such a burden when I came to you?"
Alec jumped to his feet, almost involuntarily, his body clearly outraged by the idea.

"You are not, nor have you ever been, a burden. You are a Lightwood and you always will be part of this family. And these boys will not be a burden either. I know none of us are ready to be parents, but we all have experience of being brothers and sisters. So if it is a family these boys need then we will give it to them. In our own way. Jace, you were looking for parents when you came to us because you had only ever had experience of Valentine and, let's face it, that was hardly a great experience. But these orphans probably had a very loving family that Sebastian cruelly ripped from them and they wont be looking for anyone to replace their mum and dad - just safety and reassurance and kindness."

His own words startled him a little, though he instantly felt proud of himself for the force of his conviction. It would be difficult, but he knew they would all pull together. It was scary, because things would now change; it could mean their family would change entirely. On the other hand, the boys may only be with them for a short time once the Council sorted everything out. These were uncertain times.

Jace smiled warmly at him and that look passed between them when they knew exactly how the other was feeling and thinking.

"And who is going to train them?" Isabelle asked, sounding like she was resigned to the idea of taking in the young Nephilim.

"Ummm…" Alec began before smiling as sweetly as he could at his siblings.

"Alec?"

"Well, the Consul has appointed the two of you actually," he told them as brightly as possible.

It only took about twenty minutes for them both to come around to the idea. In fact, when Alec left them to go and take a call from Magnus they were already discussing training methods and getting a little excited about being in charge of their own students.

"I'm on my way sugarplum!" his lover chorused cheerily down the line. "Are you ok? Everything alright? How was today?"

"Everything's fine," Alec told him, a big grin spreading across his face at the prospect of his boyfriend's return.

"Ok, tell me what's happened," Magnus demanded in a concerned low voice.

"Nothing!" Alec protested. Did Magnus work out a way to read minds whilst he was in Astoria?

"Alec, you just let me get away with calling you 'sugarplum' now tell me what is going on."

"Look, it will be better to tell you when you get here. But it's nothing bad I promise! I wasn't lying when I said everything's fine. I can't wait to see you."

A/N: My apologies to you all that this took so long to get to you! And my sincere apologies that there is a distinct lack of Malec in this chapter. This one is more of a link and was completely necessary to push the storyline forward. So I am prepared to hear that you didn't like it! But whether you liked it or not, I would love to know what you think. Please leave me a review and make my day! ;-) You can even let me know if you have any ideas for this story or for another Malec story you would like to hear!

The next chapter is not far behind this one and will also be fairly lemony... You have been warned!