It was the early afternoon when Oswald returned to the hallway outside of Ed's apartment. As he approached the door, his stomach knotted at the sight of a single sticky note displayed on the surface.
Out of sight, out of mind-
Yet always there by your side.
So long as you keep me near,
I'll be here.
Hip, breast, or thigh-
What am I?
A huge problem, that's what it was.
Bending down, he flipped over the doormat. Nothing. He slapped a hand sharply to the door, his frustration quickly rising.
"ED! ED- ARE YOU THERE?" No response, of course- at this hour Ed would be down at the GCPD precinct. He hastily pulled out his phone from his pants and began typing a text message.
WHERE IS THE KEY? He stood a minute, seething silently as he waited for a response. Nothing. He dialed Ed's phone, only to be directed to his voicemail.
"ED!" he started loudly, then looked behind him cautiously. He lowered his voice to a fierce whisper. "You know that I'm trying to lay low here! I can't just loiter here for few hours while I wait for you to get home! WHERE. IS. THE. KEY?" He hung up the phone bitterly, flip phone cover quickly snapping shut.
He turned back to the riddle. As much as he didn't want to encourage Ed's game, it seemed to be a much better option than standing outside the room all afternoon. Oswald read the note again.
Out of sight, out of mind-
Yet always there by your side.
So long as you keep me near,
I'll be here.
Hip, breast, or thigh-
What am I?
He looked to his sides. There was really nothing in the hallway that could have concealed a key- no couches or tables to hide things in.
"Breast? Thigh? I swear, Edward-" he murmured viciously to himself, "if you're making a bird joke I'm going to find a way to kill..." he trailed off, suddenly distracted by a thought.
"A pocket." He reached his hands into his trouser pockets only to pull out his cell phone from earlier. Digging his hands into his jacket, he pulled out his wallet. He opened it. Still nothing.
"There's no way..." he pulled back the sides of his jacket, revealing the hidden pockets on the inner side. It was a great place to keep switchblades and guns... and in this case a key.
He pulled the key from the pocket and and inserted it into the door. With a click the lock opened. He sighed, exasperated, pulling the note from the door and shoving it into his pocket with the key. As he closed the door behind him, his phone vibrated against his side.
So... how's it going? ;-)
I'm going to burn your chemistry set.
Oh good, so you made it inside.
I'll do it. Watch me.
Love you too. Ttyl.
Oswald flopped on the couch, wondering why he even bothered putting up with such an enigmatic weirdo in the first place. He looked over has phone then, fingers hovering hesitantly over the keypad, hit 'send'.
Love you too.
Author's note: It wouldn't let me save the document with the "less than" symbol, so I'd like to point out that Ed's text that reads "Love you too. Ttyl" is supposed to have the text symbol for a heart (the "less than" symbol followed by the number 3) instead of the word love. It was based loosely on text conversations my sister and I have- sarcastic replies/good-spirited name-calling followed by "love you too" or "[heart symbol] u 2".