"This is a mess isn't it?" Alec asked glumly, sinking his head into his hands.

"We can always check back into a hotel if you want, we don't have to stay with them at the Institute," Magnus told him as he took a turn off. They had decided a drive around the city after that particular bombshell would suit best so they could talk and digest. If they had stayed at the Institute he was sure any conversation would have been eavesdropped.

"We can't do that, they are our friends," Alec bemoaned.

"Friends don't make each other feel that uncomfortable." Magnus was rather angry about the whole thing it would seem, though he couldn't figure out why. He wasn't angry, just very very confused.

"Still, I don't want to fall out with anyone. Even over something like this."

Magnus made a non-committal sound and slowed down to stop in traffic.

"Are we going to talk about it?" Alec asked.

"Let's pull over somewhere nice and have a coffee," his husband suggested.

Magnus sighed into his macchiato and then looked up at Alec, his expression unreadable. "So this is something you want to do then? Have a child?"

Alec couldn't quite process the information and he furrowed his brow to try and physically pressure an answer out. Needless to say he was unsuccessful. "I don't know," was all he could manage. Which was at least the truth if not entirely helpful.

"I was not expecting to have a conversation about kids on my Honeymoon," Magnus confided.

"You say that like I was expecting it."

Magnus took a long sip of his coffee and avoided Alec's eyes.

"I always imagined that I would have children," Alec confessed suddenly. He had to start somewhere so actually talking about both their feelings towards having kids was a good place to start he thought. "Before I knew I was gay – before I accepted it anyway – I thought it would be easy to just crush down the feelings I had and pretend to be normal. Get married to a girl with the right name and have as many Shadowhunter children as we could. We have had a problem with depleting numbers of Nephilim for years so it was always something me and Izzy and Jace were always aware of I guess."

"Mhm." It was the only reply from his husband, who was now staring at him in the strangest way. Alec couldn't work out if he was angry, upset, disappointed. He had no idea.

"So what about you? Have you ever thought about children?"

"You know this is something a couple usually does before they get married," Magnus pointed out, his mood still entirely unreadable to the Shadowhunter.

"I take it that means kids are out of the question for you then," Alec observed, not being able to help that tiny flutter of disappointment come across in his tone of voice without him meaning it to. He inwardly berated himself as he saw Magnus look away from him. The Warlock was definitely upset with him now if he hadn't been before.

"Oh Alec," Magnus sighed. "This is one of those things, my love. I'm sorry."

Alec knew by 'things' Magnus meant certain hang-ups he had acquired, sharing any past memories or even keeping photographs being two of the big ones that Alec was steadily making headway with overcoming.

"Then we can drive back right now and tell them we are sorry, but they will have to find someone else," he said. He said it as positively as he could and Magnus gawked at him.

"What? Just that easy? You're not even going to put up a little resistance about this one?" Magnus asked him, sounding astounded.

"Yeah, I guess so. I thought I would may be sadder than I am, but I have you. And you are all I have ever wanted or ever will want," Alec told him sincerely. Yes, he supposed deep down he had wanted children at some point, but it really didn't matter that much to him as long as he had Magnus.

"No, I'm not all you have ever wanted Alexander. Once upon a time you wanted a family. And, unlike me, that particular achievement isn't entirely out of your reach."

Definitely upset.

"I wanted that when I didn't think there was an alternative. The alternative is so much better, believe me," he said, leaning across the table and holding his husband's hand. "It isn't something I have thought about in a long time."

"It is something I have thought about a lot," Magnus told him with a sad smile and Alec was taken aback. "Don't look so surprised. You know, being told that you would never be able to have children because your father is a demon and that influence automatically makes you infertile, it's hard to deal with. I've had a long time to deal with it and come to terms with the idea, but that doesn't mean there isn't a part of me that wonders what it would be like to be a father. Something I have pondered a lot over my time. Saying that, I have seen first-hand what it is like when an immortal has mortal children and I had resolved even if it was possible that I could never do that to myself. Since becoming mortal I have revisited the question I suppose, but not seriously."

"Because two men can't have children."

"No, but two men can be fathers."

"Magnus, does this mean it is something you want to consider? Us having a baby with Helen and Aline?"

"I honestly can't answer that right now. My head feels like it has been through a tumble dryer."

Alec could do nothing but agree with that sentiment.

To say that the last night of their Honeymoon was awkward would have been a gross understatement. But they managed to get back to New York the next day without facing too much resistance from Helen or Aline.

Alec's head was spinning. He was exhausted after two weeks of Honeymooning and travelling with Magnus and the complete bomb at the end of their trip had left him in a grim haze. It was probably a bit of post-holiday blues too, but Helen and Aline's request had just caused his mind to whir and spin uncontrollably. He had been looking forward to a time when he wouldn't have sleepless nights worrying about everything, which had been happening for many months leading up to their wedding. He had had about two weeks respite and now the worry had settled in again, like a menacing cuckoo planting its eggs of panic in the nest of his mind.

He had only walked in to the kitchen to make a pot of coffee and bumped into Jace who, after a few relieved hugs (it was never nice to be far away from your parabatai) couldn't help but notice the relatively bad mood Alec was in.

"What's up champ?" Jace asked him, swigging from the milk carton again just to annoy him.

"Have you and Clary spoken about having children together?" he asked. Jace almost dropped the milk.

"I'm sorry? Has she said something to you?" Jace asked, his features going very suddenly pale. It took Alec a moment to work out what exactly Jace was thinking.

"Ew! No! Nothing like that!" He wasn't sure why his initial reaction was to be revolted by the idea of Jace knocking up Clary before they were married, but if his own reaction was anything to go by it didn't bode well for his parabatai if something like that did happen and he then had to face her mother and angry step-werewolf.

Jace deflated with relief. "You scared the life out of me then," he observed and took another swig of milk in a rather conciliatory manner.

"It's just that the subject came up with me and Magnus on Honeymoon…" Alec tried to explain.

"How would you manage it? Does Magnus know a spell for making you pregnant? That would be exceptionally weird."

"I'm trying to be serious here, don't be an idiot."

"Ok, so my observation of a pregnant Alec was said in jest, but there still remains my initial question. You are both men, so unless Magnus knows some crazy fertility spells neither of you are going to conceive any time soon and I am curious about how you would go about it."

"Well I suppose we would find someone who would want to have a baby with us."

"With you? So this would be a three-way kind of relationship? You are making less and less sense by the second."

"Well how would you suggest we go about it?" Alec asked huffily, folding his arms across his chest.

"Well, you could always find someone who would have a baby for you. A donor. I am sure there are plenty of young fertile Shadowhunter girls who would be absolutely thrilled to have your babies. It pains me to admit it but you are a good catch. Not on the same level as me, obviously, but desirable nevertheless."

Well that was clearly the idea Helen and Aline had. And it struck Alec: they hadn't asked him to be a father, they had asked him to be a donor. They wanted a baby and they hadn't considered that Alec and Magnus would be involved.

"Would it be so bad for us to find someone to have a baby with? Rather than someone who would just have a baby and give it to us?"

Jace looked at him with suspicion for a moment. "Well yeah, and I know Magnus has swung that way before but I thought you weren't interested in girls?"

"Well I'm not. It is completely possible to have a relationship with someone that is not sexual, though I know you find the concept difficult to grasp."

"But if you were going to have a baby with a girl, she would want that intimacy I expect. I can't imagine any nice Shadowhunter girl agreeing to raise a baby with the two of you and not get anything out of it in return. Her family wouldn't allow it. You could always adopt!" Jace told him with a sudden flash of inspiration.

Or have a baby with a lesbian couple who had no desire to be in any kind of 'relationship' with either himself or Magnus. The more he thought about it, the more Helen and Aline's plan became tempting.

"What's going on?" Clary said as she walked into the kitchen and then stopped in her tracks when she saw Alec and smiled broadly. "You're back!" she exclaimed and bowled into him for a hug. "How was it? Was it romantic? Did you go to that restaurant in Venice?"

Alec couldn't help but laugh at her enthusiasm. "We had an awesome time," he told her sincerely.

"Oh, and before I forget Jia called for you. I told her you were probably asleep and jet-lagged."

"Wow, they don't leave you alone for even a moment. You;ve had your ten days holiday now back to work Shadowhunter!" Jace joked, though Alec was inclined to agree with the sentiment. He had barely been back a couple of hours and already the Consul was trying to reach him. He eyed his parabatai suspiciously, wondering what exactly he had done in Alec and Magnus' absence.

"What?" Jace asked, trying (and failing) to look as innocent as possible. "It's probably about my new job teaching at the Academy…"

Alec physically took a step backwards, speechless.

"Congratulations would have been just fine," Jace told him with a smirk.

"So you are going to move to Idris?" It was Alec's first thought: that they should be parted.

"No, I am only teaching there for a term and after that just two days a week so nothing permanent."

"It's great news," Clary said as she wrapped her arms around her fiancé supportively.

"Congratulations," Alec told him with a smile. He supposed this would be good for Jace and he had to fight down his selfish feelings that wanted him to stay at the Institute and be happy for his friend. "Have you seen Izzy anywhere?"

"I think she's in the training room," Jace informed him. "She's talking about travelling to Idris herself to do a guest lecture at the Academy in a couple of weeks. But it will only be for a couple of days and I think she is still considering the offer," Jace added hastily when he saw Alec's expression.

Alec felt like there may have been some conspiracy whilst he was away for his siblings to all move to Idris. He supposed he would have to make arrangements for another tutor for Paul whilst Jace was at the Academy, unless Izzy wanted to do it.

He managed to reach the phone and pick it up just before it rang off.

"Hi Jia!" he said a little over-enthusiastically down the receiver due to having legged it down the corridor and across the room in order to answer the ringing.

"Oh, hello Alec," Jia replied, sounding a little bit shocked.

"Sorry," he told her, half panting. "I just had to run to pick the phone up in time. Is everything alright?"

"That's alright. Everything is fine, there is no need to worry!" she chirped. "And welcome back, by the way. I hope you had a lovely time. Did you manage to stop by the Los Angeles Institute?"

Alec immediately felt guilty, though he wasn't quite sure why. "Uh yeah we did. They have a fantastic view there. And we had a great time, thanks. It was really relaxing." Right up until the last day, he thought glumly and began to sweat nervously, despite Jia actually talking to him from all the way in Alicante. He didn't like the idea that Jia possibly knew of Aline and Helen's request of him. He really hoped she didn't.

"Yes, the vista overlooking the sea is beautiful. And, of course, it is always sunny there. Aline tends to struggle with sunburn. Has Jace told you about his offer of a teaching position at the Academy?"

"Yeah he just told me," Alec admitted gloomily.

"They actually want him over as soon as possible. I know he agreed a start date in two weeks' time, but is there any way we can have him sooner? It would be doing us a huge favour."

How could he refuse? This was the consul, after all. Though Alec would have preferred another two weeks with Jace before he left for an entire month.

"I will talk to him though I can't see it being a problem. From what I gather he is very eager."

"Oh good!" Jia beamed. "And with that in mind I can send you over a replacement tutor for Paul Hawkswood as early as Monday if that is alright? I am sure you won't mind Paul having the weekend off anyway."

"Oh, well… I am sure Isabelle wouldn't mind stepping in until Jace gets back?"

"But I already asked Isabelle and she told me she would be unable. Is that not the case anymore?"

"Apologies Consul, I have only just got back so I am probably quite a bit more out of the loop than you are. I can't for the life of me think why Isabelle would turn the position down, but I suppose if she has then Paul will need a new tutor."

He was going to have to have serious words with his sister.

"Nothing's wrong," she said breezily, punching a bag with tremendous force.

"So you don't want to stay here with us anymore?"

"Alec, it's not that," she said and pulled up out of her fighting stance to look imploringly into his eyes. "I am going to go stay in Idris for a while, do a bit of teaching at the Academy, sit on the council, just really get my life together you know."

He couldn't really argue with her. "But I'll miss you," he told her with a sigh, not knowing what else to say. She smiled broadly at him.

"So you'll let me go?"

"As if I would ever be able to stop you. Not managed it to date…"

She hugged him tightly. "And you won't be too angry?"

"I can't promise that," he mumbled darkly.

Two days later Alec said goodbye to Isabelle, Jace and Clary as they left him and Magnus behind at the Institute. Paul was visibly upset at Jace's departure and Alec found himself comforting the boy rather than feeling too down himself, despite Magnus' comments about the two of them moping around the place. Alec decided to play cards with Paul on the rainy fall day, the sky as drab and dreary as their feelings, but Alec couldn't help noticing his husband observing him strangely as he played rather unenthusiastically.

"What?" he said finally, unable to take the scrutiny anymore. Magnus jumped at the remark. "Why do you keep staring at me? What have I done now?"

"Just admiring the view beautiful," Magnus told him with a wink.

"Ew," Paul observed nonchalantly as he played a King and beat Alec's hand.

"Yeah well, it's not polite to stare," he told the Warlock.

"Ooh tetchy. You can't be missing him that much already. You just spent two weeks solid in my company and you barely mentioned him."

"Yes, but that was because I thought I would get to see him when I got back," Alec moped.

"Does it feel weird with him gone? I mean, because of you being parabatai?" Paul asked, picking up all of the cards from the table and shuffling them like a blackjack dealer. Alec wondered where he had learnt to do that and could only assume Magnus had taught him. Magnus was not allowed to play cards with Alec because Magnus always cheated.

"Yeah, it feels a little bit strange. Like an emptiness, but also like someone is tugging at me. It's weird."

"I think I would like a parabatai," Paul informed him as he began to deal.

"You don't know anyone. Who would you choose?" Magnus asked him. Alec shot the Warlock a hard look. Paul did not deserve his meanness, however playful he claimed it to be.

"I know loads of people!" Paul argued. "And obviously it would be Pete."

"The Clave won't usually go for close relations to become parabatai," Alec warned him. "Besides, have you asked Peter if it would be something he'd consider?"

"Why can't brothers be parabatai? You and Jace are," Paul observed.

"Yeah, but we aren't actually related. It's not really a rule and it does happen that siblings become parabatai, but it isn't really done because Nephilim families frown upon the possibility of losing two of their children at potentially the same time in the same battle."

"Oh," Paul said, seemingly contented with the explanation.

"Also, Peter is eighteen now, so likely to be too late," Magnus said and heaved himself up and out of the armchair he had been lounging in. "Maybe you should go to the Academy for a while and train with some Shadowhunters your own age," Magnus suggested.

"Hey!" Alec piped up. "Nobody at this Institute requires any more motivation to leave. I have just lost my brother and my sister in the same day to that Academy. Quit encouraging Paul to leave too."

Magnus smiled at him, an odd look in his eye. "My apologies," he murmured and looked away as if he were distracted by something.

"So who is my new tutor going to be?" Paul asked, beating Alec at yet another game.

"Are you cheating?" he asked him suddenly, not quite understanding how Paul had managed to wipe the floor with him again.

"Nah, you're just rubbish," he informed Alec and picked the cards back up into a pile. "So who will it be?" Paul asked again, handing the deck over to Alec for his turn to shuffle and deal.

"He's French – recently finished training three students at the Paris Institute. I can't remember his name," Alec told him while concentrating on not dropping all of the cards amidst his clumsy shuffle.

"Ooh I do love the French," Magnus said as he paced over by the window. It looked as though he was anxious, even when Alec gave him a disapproving look in regards to his comments on 'The French'. He was starting to get worried. Perhaps Alec hadn't noticed Magnus' strange behaviour because he had been too sulky about the sudden absences of his family, but his husband clearly had something weighing on his mind – he had that restlessness about him that he got when he was desperately trying to work things out.

"Ok – bed time," he told Paul after another game cementing his losing streak.

"Aw come on! Just because you are losing to me," Paul countered, picking up the cards and shuffling them in an impressive pattern.

"Yeah, you got me. Plus it's gone ten, so off you go," Alec told him cheerfully. Paul stared at him a moment, trying to work out if he was being serious, but he finally subsided.

"Fine," he said in exasperation and hugged Magnus and then Alec goodnight. Something he had done ever since he was little. When Alec broke apart from the embrace he noticed Magnus watching him again, but waited until Paul had left the room.

"Ok, so are you going to tell me why you are acting so weird and staring at me like that?"

Magnus opened his mouth to speak.

"And don't say something dirty just to throw me off. I know something is up and I want an explanation."

Magnus quickly closed his mouth again at that, clearly caught out. The Warlock looked ponderous for a moment and then walked over to Alec and folded him up in his arms.

"I am so confused, my love," his husband admitted softly. "I don't think I want you to go off and have a baby with Helen Blackthorn. Please don't be angry with me."

Alec hugged him tighter. "Of course I'm not angry," he cooed. There was a lump in his chest – disappointment perhaps – but he couldn't be angry at Magnus. They had never agreed to have children in the first place.

"What if I did this for Helen and Aline and we didn't have any contact? Or very little contact at least?" Alec broached what had been on his mind. But Magnus pulled away and looked mildly horrified.

"You would help create a child and then not want anything to do with it?" the Warlock answered incredulously. It rendered Alec speechless.

"I couldn't let you do that." Magnus looked a little wild and desperate. "Do you mean to blackmail me into doing this?"

He couldn't believe what he was hearing. "No! Of course not!" he protested.

Magnus shook his head and dropped his gaze in defeat before walking out of the room, leaving Alec confused and lost and not entirely sure what had just happened.

A/N: Apologies for the 'bitty' nature of this chapter. It was just one of those things I'm afraid! Certain things needed to be set up for the stuff that is to come over the next few chapters.
Thank you so so much to all those who have stuck with this and continue to read! Don't forget to leave feedback! I want to hear if you love it or hate it, what you think will happen, what you want to happen. Anything. I endeavour to respond to all my lovely reviews :-)
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