A/N: Kay this chapter's a little shorter because I'm adding another day between this and what was supposed to be the second half of this chapter. I felt that I added the drama too soon so I'm spacing it out a little. I writing thought! AND HAPPY B-DAY TO LUKE, His birthday (this whole entire fic is his present) is the third of October so, Happy b-day!
Love you buddy!
And I love all my readers!
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He groaned softly, burying his face in his hands, he wanted to kill himself. Neji looked up when he heard Lee walking down the hall.
""The Doctor is fine. He actually wanted to apologize to you. He said it was unprofessional to have surprised you like that." Lee knelt in front of the sulking Hyuuga. Neji glared and rubbed his brow.
"Surprise? If He'd stabbed me with a kunai I'd be surprised. All he did was touch my shoulder and I out right tried to kill him, Lee!" Neji stood up and walked away from the chunin.
"I acted like a damned lunatic!" The Jounin felt the shame shadow his mind again. How could he not control himself?
"Neji." Lee stood in front of the long haired brunette and held his hand up to touch the Hyuuga caringly but stopped and pulled his back like it'd been stung.
Neji saw this and whipped around walked briskly away from the shinobi again.
"Neji, I was joking. Come back." Lee smiled awkwardly, actually having been a bit nervous to console the Hyuuga after he'd sent his doctor into cardiac arrest in one touch.
He followed the angry and embarrassed Hyuuga, he knew Neji would never hurt him intentionally but his behavior recently did prove he lost himself at times. Back in the woods outside Konoha, Lee hadn't even been able to talk to Neji while he attacked the Chunin with the rage of a rapid animal.
The two walked quickly until they reached the infirmary room. Neji stopped in front on the door as his face dropped all anger. Lee caught up and stood a few feet from the Hyuuga. He looked nervous as he knocked and waited for the door to be opened.
A nurse smiled and let the two of them in. The messy haired Doctor was sitting up in his bed as the two shinobi entered the room. He looked over and greeted them.
"About earlier…" Neji started but didn't continue. The Doctor just kept smiling and he waved the words away.
"Please think nothing of it, I should have read your file more thoroughly." He reached over to the bedside and held a folder up and opened it. He looked through it a bit before explaining.
"Admitted for Haphephobia."
Lee and Neji exchanged looks. The Doctor saw this and chuckled.
"I'm sorry; Haphephobia means to fear being touched."
Neji raised an eyebrow and asked as the nurse brought two chairs for the shinobi. "I was told it was PTSD."
The Hyuuga sat while Lee just smiled at the nurse and continued to stand, stepping away from the conversation a little, giving Neji some space.
"That's such a broad term; I've narrowed it down to Haphephobia. And its clear form the way you reacted it has escalated quite far." The Doctor rubbed his head of messy blonde hair and flipped through the file.
Neji's brow twitched slightly as the embarrassment hit him once more.
"I'd like to begin the treatment immediately for this Hap…fear of being touched. I'd like to be able to report back in within a few weeks." The Hyuuga stated with a serious tone, gaining some of his old confidence Lee remembered.
"A few weeks? Mr. Hyuuga, being completely cured of Haphephobia could take up to a few months, maybe even a year."
The Hyuuga was clearly not amused by this.
"Can you fix me or not? If not we have nothing left to talk about." The Hyuuga spoke with an under lying fire.
The Doctor sighed and thought for a few moments.
"I can in the amount of time but you won't like it very much."
"I don't like a lot of things right now so if you can get rid of them I assure you I'll be fine." Neji stated and watched as the Doctor stood up from the bed slowly.
"Very well." He gripped the Hyuuga chin roughly and held the Jounin's head still. Lee jumped over and was about to attack the man for grabbing Neji but the Doctor held his other hand up.
"This is called exposure therapy, though a more extreme version."
Neji's hands twitched in his lap as he tried to remain focused on the doctor. His breathing was quickening.
The doctor noticed this and held the Hyuuga's face firmly. "Neji, where are you right now?"
The Hyuuga looked to see the bright white infirmary room.
"The clinic."
"Who am I?"
"The PTSD specialist."
"Are you scared?"
The Hyuuga didn't reply right away like he had with the other questions. Lee's eyes grew a bit wider.
"…I'm not sure."
The Doctor let go and back away from the Hyuuga a little. Neji gripped his arm as the burning flared.
"Does he do that a lot?" The Doctor turned to Lee. The Chunin jumped a bit, broken from his thoughts.
"Sometimes, I've seen him do a few times when he talks about the incident."
This time the doctor's eyes widened. "Incident? I wasn't informed of any kind of traumatic event."
"Um…well…" Lee trailed off, his eyes glaring at the floor as his hands clenched. The Hyuuga couldn't speak, this had been the moment he'd dreaded over all night.
"Let's speak more at my office, this infirmary always make me uneasy." The Doctor waited for Lee to speak with Neji who himself was on the edge of panicking.
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The room was more of a traditional Japanese style living room. A small table with sitting cushions placed around it. Neji had expected something more modern that didn't remind him of the Hyuuga complex so much.
Lee had asked if Neji want his company with the Doctor but the Hyuuga really did not want to have to see Lee's expression when he explained what had occurred.
So the Chunin sat in the lobby area of the clinic, wasting time. Neji and the Doctor sat across the table from each other and in silence.
"How old are you?" The shaggy haired Doctor spoke, his voice loud in the open room.
"19." Neji responded, flat tone-less voice. He could feel himself shutting down. Wanted to reach that blissful numbness he'd began to crave.
"My, still quite young."
Neji didn't reply. The Doctor sipped his coffee.
"You are the one who wants to be cured quickly, yet you don't speak."
"Must I? Can we work without discussing dark topics?" Neji scoffed and clenched his fists. He was acting childish again.
The Doctor sighed under his breath. "You'd be amazed by how much better you'll feel."
Neji did remember how he'd felt better after talking with Lee a bit about what happened. He'd also felt very nervous while speaking of it, and to say even more to a stranger made Neji's stomach hurt.
"How about you just say it in the simplest way you can think of? I've found that helps people start."
Simplest? Was there any way to simply explain the pain and humiliation? The horror of being used and treated like a animal? Could you even put it into words?
The Doctor waited, hands intertwined as Neji argued with himself.
He glared at the ground and placed his hands on the edge of the table. A surge of courage running through pumped by adrenaline. Anger mixed with and then sorrow, shame and exhaustion.
"During my last mission, we were ambushed by a group of rouge shinobi. I'd gotten myself separated and was knocked unconscious. When I awoke I had been taken to their rest area, I was interrogated for information and when I didn't cooperate…"
Neji's voice crack before he could say more. He cleared his throat and starred at his hands.
"I…was raped…"
He felt like all his energy was taken away, he felt so broken. Just once sentence he'd refused to say since it'd happened had broken him so much. Maybe it wasn't the words themselves but the meaning behind them. That he had to accept the fact that he had been used for the sexual pleasure of another against his will.
He had to accept that he was too weak to protect himself and had let himself fall into that situation.
Neji met the Doctors eyes and saw indifference.
"Tell me aloud what you're thinking right now."
"I was not strong enough to protect myself." Neji cringed at the sting in his arm.
"So why would I be strong enough to protect anyone else?" The doctor's voice caught Neji's attention and silenced the brunette.
"I was defenseless and was used. Therefore it might happen again?" The Doctor fiddle with his thumbs in a way that reminded Neji of Hinata.
"You see, Mr. Hyuuga. The only way for you to overcome your fear is to rebuild your self confidence. You're afraid of physical contact because you don't trust yourself to be able to protect yourself."
The Hyuuga was quiet as he thought over the Doctor's words. Did he fear that something like that would happen again? Did he think he was useless to stop it if it did happen?
Yes.
Neji's lavender eyes widened as the answer didn't hesitate to appear in his head.
He turned back to the Doctor. "How do I rebuild my confidence, as you say?"
"Just learn to trust yourself again. And you'll soon see that you'll trust others too."
Neji and the Doctor continued talking.
#
After a few hours of chatting with the receptionist and a few others waiting in the lobby, Lee began to make his way back to the hotel room. Neji had told he was free to leave but he felt a little guilty, leaving Neji alone.
He chuckled to himself, knowing Neji would scold him for thinking something like that.
Neji really did hate being treated specially; He'd told Lee before it made him think of the difference between the two branches in his household.
Rock Lee could smell the restaurants cooking their meals for the dinner rush and it smelled amazing. A small curry shop caught his eye. He ordered himself a level 10* curry with extra spiciness. Before they gave him the meal they had asked him to sign a waiver.
Lee brushed it off as one of the northern customs. He knew Neji hated curry so he stopped into a small ramen house. Why the Hyuuga hated curry made Lee wonder, He'd seem to love it whenever they went to visit the Curry of Life restaurant. Which Lee dragged him, Tenten and their teacher to when the green-lover's birthday would roll around.
He saw they had one of Neji's favorite meals on the menu and ordered it with a side of Tempura.
Making his way back to the hotel Lee enjoyed the late summer air and changes of the colors in the sky as the sun began to set.
He reached the hotel and went up to their room. Placing the food on their table before undressing and removing all his equipment.
Rock Lee stretched and yawned not having done anything all day made his muscles stiff. He eyed the food. He didn't really want to work out after he ate the food. The chunin threw on some shorts and a shirt. He left a note for Neji, just in case the Hyuuga returned before him.
While Lee was jogging around the small town Neji did return and found the lights in the room on. He entered and called for the Chunin but with no response he relaxed on his bed. The crinkle of paper caught his attention. The Hyuuga lifted his head to see the note.
"Went for a run! Be right back." Neji read with less enthusiasm than Lee's writing. He laid his head back down and sighed.
He was extremely tired mentally. Having to recall the events while trying some of the exposure exercises stressed him out.
As he slipped into the loving embrace of sleep a certain smell made his practically jump out of the bed. He smelled smoked herring.
He saw the containers of food sitting on the table and went over to them. His wonderful herring was soon covered but an intense spicy smell that burned the Hyuuga's nose. He automatically knew that practically toxic one was Lee's.
He found the soba bowl and brought it over to the floor in front of his bed. He removed the top and gulp in delight. The soba noodles and herring smelled like heaven.
The door to the room opened slowly to reveal a very sweaty Lee. He perked up and waved at Neji as he made his way to the bathroom.
"Lee?"
The chunin stopped at looked over his should. "Hn?"
"Did you pick this up for me?"
Lee couldn't place the tone in Neji's voice, He wasn't angry was he? "Yeah, of course. It's your favorite; you get everything we go out to eat. Oh, I also got some vegetable tempura. But I asked them to remove the pumpkin because I know you don't like it and I don't really care for it anyway."
Neji starred at Lee and the bowl haired man smiled and closed the bathroom door behind him.
The Hyuuga heard the shower turn on as he starred at the meal in front of him. Lee knew so much about him. He didn't want to admit it but he felt happy. After such a worrisome day he got to come back, relax, and enjoy a delicious meal.
Plus be in the company of Lee.
Neji's hand froze midway to the chopsticks. He really did enjoy being with Lee, more than he did with anyone else.
Lee knew when not to talk, most of the time, and when they weren't around Gai, He was loyal and kind. That and he cared for Neji.
The Hyuuga felt guilty now.
Was he in the wrong because Lee felt so strongly for him but he wasn't sure if he even viewed them more then friends. He lifted his thumb to his lips in thought.
He remembered his talk with the Doctor from earlier. He needed to learn to trust himself again. How could he do that?
Neji leaded his head against the back of the bed as he pondered, soon assuming a meditating pose and let his mind wander.
As Neji sat Rock Lee had finished bathing and came back out of the shower. A pair of spandex boxers tight on his thighs, and other things.
Neji's eyes opened for a moment to see the other man. He furrowed his brow. "You really love spandex, I'll never understand that."
"Hehe, I like the feel of it! It's efficient and aerodynamic." Lee continued to go on and on into one of his and Gai's rehearsed speeches. Neji didn't mind he let himself wander back to the amazing food sitting in front of him.
The restaurant had given them wooden chopsticks so when Neji broke the apart so he could begin eating it caught Lee's attention.
He stopped talking for a moment. ""You haven't eaten yet?"
"Yes, I got lost in thought, plus it would be impropriate to eat before you. You did go get the food after all." Neji replied before getting some noodles and slurping them quietly. Though his facial expression didn't change, he felt like he was melting. He loved herring soba and nothing in the world of food could compare.
Lee was still a bit flushed that Neji had waited for him. He went over and grabbed his meal and the tempura. Then sat in front of Neji, setting the tempura between them.
Neji finished having his food orgasm and used a napkin to wipe the soba sauce form his mouth. "Hn, I haven't thanked you yet for the food have I?
"No need, I was on my way back anyway." Lee grinned before breaking his chopsticks and digging into his very red curry. Neji cringed at the smell for a moment but he'd become used to Lee's insane food choices. He simply turned his attention back to his soba.
The two ate for a while in silence just chewing and clinking dishes.
Lee finished first, exhaling and hummed a bit. "That was good."
Neji nodded in agreement as he finished off the herring. Wiping his face and noticed the rice littering Lee's face form his pig-like eating.
"My goodness, you have close to no manners." Neji reached across the empty tempura plate and began to wipe the rice off Lee face as the green-lover laughed and joked around.
"Sorry, Mom." Rock Lee placed his hand on Neji's wrist. The Hyuuga stopped his cleaning and felt the heat coming off Lee's skin.
"Is it alright when I touch you?" Lee asked a sincere concern on his face.
"Strangely, yes." Neji's voice grew quiet as he felt the atmosphere change slowly. He sat back down and collected the dishes. He placed them back on the table, heart racing as he watched Lee move about the room from the corner of his eye.
Why was he so focused on Lee?
"Hey, Lee?"
The chunin turned to look over his shoulder to look at the Hyuuga.
"I really appreciate you coming with me. This is very stressful for me and I'm glad I got you as my escort."
Neji turned away from Lee and starred at the dirty dishes. He heard the creaking of Lee's bed as the green-lover stood and the slow, steady footsteps as Lee walked over to him.
"I couldn't think of any better to do with my time than spend it with you, Neji." Lee leaned his fore head against the back of Neji's head. His warm breath tickled the long haired brunette's nape.
"You're the strongest, most amazing and smartest person I know. Well maybe beside Shikamaru-san."
Lee chuckled and Neji found himself cracking a smile.
"If you're trying to compliment me, you're doing a bad job." Neji snapped playfully.
Rock Lee just laughed more and wrapped his large tan arms around the Hyuuga's chest, hugging him as he continued.
"I just know you'll be back to 100% in no time."
"Thanks, Lee." Neji spoke softly and placed his hand on the green-lover's scar covered hand.
He felt cheerful when he was with Lee, like the silly, immature man sucked everything that was bad out of the world.
"Lee" Neji leaned his head so he was pressing back against Lee. The other man just hummed in response before moving his head to rest of the Hyuuga's shoulder
I don't feel nervous at all, I'm not anxious or scared around him.
"I'm not really sure, but…." Neji paused; his mouth didn't want to form words anymore. Why was it so hard to say?
Lee saw the conflicted expression Neji wore and just chuckled light heartily. He nuzzled his nose into the crook of the Hyuuga's collar bone.
"It's alright Neji." Lee placed a butterfly kiss on the Jounin's head. He laughed a bit more then returned to his bed.
The Hyuuga missed the warmth Lee gave him as he climbed on to his own bed. He moved under the thick covers and relaxed into the pillow.
Would he be alright without Lee next to him?
The Jounin flexed out of reflex. The images blurring his vision and chills covering his body.
"Lee?" Neji called softly, listening the creaking of the Chunin's bed.
"Yes?" He could hear Lee leaning up from the blankets.
"You can come over here if you want…" The Hyuuga gripped the sheets on the bed as the touches grew stronger around his throat.
Rock Lee had known Neji a long time. He could tell when Neji wanted something but couldn't. Lee stood from the bed and walked over to the Jounin's. He placed a hand down first, watching as Neji moved so he'd have room to lie down.
The Chunin moved onto the bed and slowly snaked his arms around Neji's thin frame. He was tense and nervous.
Lee began whispering meaningless words, just so he could pull the Hyuuga back from his fear. He spoke about how when he and Gai had run around the entire village a few times for a whole day.
"And then I wanted to climb the evacuation stairs only on our hands but he said to save that for another day." Lee laughed, his sweet tone vibrating against Neji's back.
"Lee." The Hyuuga looked over his shoulder. His eyes had a pleased look in them.
"What, you want me to stop rambling?" The Chunin joked as he watched Neji turned around so they faced each other. Neji placed his hands on the green-lover's chest and relaxed his head against Lee's arm.
"No, I like hearing you talk, I'm just happy…" The Hyuuga grew quiet, letting Lee know he didn't want to elaborate.
Rock lee didn't mind, he'd just heard Neji say the Chunin made him happy. He couldn't be any more ecstatic. Giggling the way Lee did, the Chunin closed his eyes and let the blissful sleep pull him under.
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I needed a happy ending in at least one chapter XD