A/N: Hey, cuz I've been so sucky lately and not updating I threw in a super long kiss scene :D
LOLIKNOWTHATSNOTAGOODENOUGHE XCUSESOSORRY
Writer's block is gone now though and I'll proof the next chapter in the morning, this one took soo long because I had moved some scenes around and I had a huge gap between the end of the last chapter and the end of the chapter so I couldn't figure out what to fill it with XD. Love all my readers!
Oh yeah and chapter 614 doesn't exist. Nope, didn't happen, I ain't acknowledging that bullsh*t.
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Neji Hyuuga sat staring off into space as he waited for the Doctor to return. Their second meeting was going a bit smoother. They had tried the exposure theory again but not having Lee in the room with him made the Hyuuga nervous and they'd decided to take a short break.
He rested his chin on his palm as he moved to glance around the room. He needed to get over this fear quicker. From what the doctor was telling him at the pace they were going it would take up to a month. It was mostly the Hyuuga's stubbornness getting in the way. He was still refusing to fully accept his condition and it was hindering his recovery.
How was he just supposed to? He was a Jounin, one of the most powerful shinobi in the entire village and he'd been treated and beaten like an academy student. He frowned and let his fingers ball into fists as he eyes glared at the painting covered wall.
A gust of air, tickled his hair and his Byakugan activated in an instant, his hand shot out and deflected the object aimed for the back of his head with a blast of chakra.
Neji glared forward towards the Doctor who wore a sly grin on his face. The shinobi didn't step out of his stance quite so easy, he looked the man over once before taking a relaxing step back, his Byakugan still activated.
"Sorry, Mr. Hyuuga, you looked so deep in thought I couldn't help myself." The man spoke, moving back to his seat. Neji just kept his glare-like stare on the man, refusing to sit back down. He wasn't sure if that had been part of the exposure therapy or if the Doctor was testing something else.
"Now then…" The man groaned happily as he sat down and took a drink of coffee. His notes were placed back in his lap and he began their lesson again, Neji finally sitting down after a few minutes.
"-And it's like your brain is its own separate machine that operates the other machine, do you understand? If something is wrong with one part, both ends with suffer." The Doctor had a way of going off on tangents, not that Neji minded too much, the man was clearly smart and knew what he was doing.
"So for you it's almost like a rubber band that was stretched too far and snapped. Now we have to fit a new one into place and fix everything that was broken because of the trauma." The man was very animated when he spoke, arms often opening and closing, making movements to whatever he was talking about.
The two spoke more about the biology of the brain and how trauma affected its function. This went on for a while and soon the end of their session rolled around. The Doctor forced himself to stop talking as they reached almost twenty minutes after their time was up.
"Alright, alright, that's enough for today. Why don't you go get some rest? I'm sure Lee will be waiting like a puppy craving attention." The Doctor sent the Hyuuga a grin, making Neji avert his eyes and stare at a random picture on the wall.
The Hyuuga stood and turned to leave but stopped himself and asked. "Is it possible to have someone who is almost an exception to your phobia?"
He wasn't sure what compelled him to ask such a thing when he was sure the Doctor knew who he was talking about. The man rubbed his light blonde stubble and hummed for a moment before rambling a little as he got to the point. "It really does all depend on the circumstances, the person who has the phobia and how close the two people are. It's very common that best friends can overcome phobias with each other much more quickly than with a regular acquaintance. Though lovers and relationships are usually 50/50. Either they get past the phobia quickly or it drags it out more and just feeds the fear. But some cases show that a lover can help speed up the recovery process a lot."
The Doctor waved his hand, closing his eyes for a moment. "We can talk more about this next time, go relax for a bit."
And with that the Hyuuga said his goodbye and left the room. Of course, Rock Lee was slouched in one of the arm chairs in the waiting room, his face in his palm as he dozed in and out of a nap. Neji stopped in the door way and let his hand rest on his slim shoulder, rubbing it a bit as he watched the sleeping Chunin.
He refused to acknowledge the tug of a smile on his lips. Lee had been so kind and helpful the last few days, he'd let Neji burden him with all of the drama going on and still was able to wear that goofy grin on his face. The Hyuuga felt a strange thickness in his throat as he began to move towards the sleeping shinobi. The receptionist was sending the two a playful smirk as Neji tapped the green spandex wearing man.
The deep sleeper Lee was made it a little hard to wake him unless there was a loud noise or a rough push. The Chunin wasn't too far into his nap so when Neji cleared his throat a bit obnoxiously the black orbs blinked opened.
Lee slowly leaned back, rubbing his stiff neck as he groaned; he'd slept in worse positions so he'd be fine. The Chunin sent the long haired man a happy smile as he stood and stretched.
"How was your session?"
"It was good, I'm ready for dinner. Are you hungry?"
"Neji, I don't think I'm ever not hungry" The man's laughed as a nice dull ring through the quiet room.
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The Hyuuga's ever permanent frown as thinning as he sat on his bed, enjoying the comfortable sink it had. They'd grabbed a simple bowl of ramen, neither of them having anything else on their minds for dinner. Neji would love to eat herring soba for every meal but he knew if he ate it too often it would take away from the flavor.
Lee simply lied on his bed, on top of the covers; he smiled lightly as he kicked his shoes off, letting them fall to the floor. He turned to glance at Neji as he relaxed his arms behind his head.
"Any breakthroughs yet?" His voice had a nice happy-go-lucky tone in it. Neji saw he was watching Lee so much closer today.
"Nothing much, we just spoke more about the more scientific side of all this." Neji replied as he fixed his hair tie, tightening it, trying to ignore the amount of hair strands that came out and clung to his hand. The Hyuuga was mellow but not quite tired; he could already see Lee was ready to fall asleep though.
"Don't sleep in your uniform." He stated in his usual tone, a hint of a smile behind it. Lee turned his head towards the Hyuuga and just let a goofy grin spread on his lips.
The Chunin pressed his chest up so he could stand. He stretched his arms and moved to his bag on the other side of the room, near the tall dresser. Shredding himself of his vest and leggings he called over his shoulder, to continue their conversation.
"You're thinking about something, aren't ya? What is it?" His tone lowered and was a calm deep tone that Neji could feel echo in his chest.
The Hyuuga glanced away from the stripping shinobi as he tried to collect his thoughts. Neji murmured softly, his hands moving his hair over his back. "I'm not quite sure; everything is still mixed up quite badly."
Lee's brow raised a bit as Neji was being more open and sincere. The Chunin removed his spandex and changing into a pair of loose boxers to sleep in. The Hyuuga made sure to not let his eyes wander too much, even though he'd seen Lee naked hundreds of times.
Neji looked down at his fingers as he heard Lee move towards his bedside. The Hyuuga bounced as the bed dipped, Lee's weight making the Hyuuga center himself. The Chunin was unwrapping the bandages from his fingers and forearms as Neji rubbed his hands together.
"You can just talk about whatever you want. Anything to make this easier on you." Lee smiled softly, seeing the rarely awkward feeling come from Neji. The Chunin let the used bandages lay next to him on the bed and intertwined his scarred fingers. He'd been thinking about just slowing down and talking for a bit. Neji had been rushed from one thing to the next for a while now; he needed to just have a normal conversation about meaningless things.
"Anything? Well, let's see… I suspect that Inuzuka still has affections for Hinata-Sama, and you know that I find that unacceptable." Neji grumbled, letting himself relax his back and shoulder, not quite leaning on Lee yet but close.
"You should've seen the way she handled her team members though." The Hyuuga had a satisfied smile come to his lips, Lee's spirits rose as Neji smiled.
"Ever since Kurenai-Sensei went on maternity leave I was worried she would become over whelmed but she's been doing very well. Those two respect her, but she will need to be a bit more forceful especially with that mutt." Neji rolled his lavender eyes a bit, glancing over at Lee's grin as he continued.
"…We should have Tenten tutor her, that girl has kept you and Gai out of more trouble than I could have." Neji's smile fell and he felt a tug of guilt in his chest.
"I haven't spoken with her in a long time…Tenten's probably worried sick…" The Hyuuga gripped his hands together and Lee wrapped one of his tan, warm hands over his tensed ones.
The Chunin bumped his shoulder against Neji's playfully. "Tenten's really strong headed, she'll be fine. If she found out you were worrying about her instead of healing she'd throw a fit."
The bowl haired man chuckled and pulled his hand from Neji's. The Hyuuga nodded before letting his side rest against Lee's, the familiar warmth was pleasant and made his chest feel less heavy.
"I'm glad you're here, even if I don't show it a lot." Neji's lips were pressed into a firm line as he looked away from the green-lover, embarrassed by his own words. The Chunin just hummed happily and wrapped an arm around Neji, giving his arm a soft rub.
They sat like that for a little bit, resting against each other, both of them thinking of something to break the silence but nothing came up. Lee eventually cleared his throat and rubbed his head with his free hand.
"I…I should probably head to bed, I wanted to go running in the morning…I-I mean if you're okay…" The Chunin was flustered making Neji feeling less embarrassed himself. The Hyuuga let his hand slowly and uneasily touch Lee's, that held his upper arm. He gripped his fingers around the Chunin's and stared at the bed cover.
"I know you want to kiss me again…" The Hyuuga stared at the head board as Lee flinched a bit and laughed awkwardly.
"Am I really that easy to read?"
Neji simply just nodded, still looking away from Lee, His face growing warm as he knew what he was trying to do. He wanted Lee's embrace, it made him feel safe and he wouldn't have the night terrors if the Chunin was there.
Said shinobi was gulping thickly and opened his mouth to say something but stopped himself, losing the courage to say it only for a moment before asking with an almost docile tone.
"Do you want to?"
Neji blinked but still didn't look at Lee; he wondered if really did wish to kiss Lee on a level deeper than just protection. He tightened his grip on Lee's fingers and replied softly.
"Could you turn the lights off?" The Hyuuga could feel the heat rise in his cheeks as the words left his mouth, he could only answer Lee's question if he knew for sure. The Chunin practically jumped up and hit the switch, the room growing dark, only dimly lit by the lanterns out on the street and the moon. Neji was bit colder only for a few minutes before Lee returned to his side, this time sitting to face the Hyuuga.
Neji's lavender eyes gradually looked at the other shinobi, the brunette suddenly feeling very self conscious. Lee's hard and broad features were outlined but the dark room, the bridge of the green-lover's nose was wide but in all the right ways, a strong jaw line showed off his maturity. Neji was basically the opposite, a fair, slender nose with a gentle oval curl of his face; most of the Hyuuga had soft features.
The Hyuuga rested his hands against the bed sheets and his shoulders rose a bit, as if to hide his still bruised neck, even though Lee could barely see it in the lack of lighting. Neji watched Lee watch him and it was a strange discomforting feeling. He could tell the shinobi was mapping out his face and arms and torso and probably so much more, Neji felt like he was a painting on display.
Lee slowly reached his hand to lay over the Hyuuga's, his other going to cup Neji's cheek. Feeling the other man twitch under his touch, Lee sent Neji a look as he second guessed himself.
"Are you sure?" The green-lover wanted to show how much he cared for the Hyuuga and he knew this was only one of many, but he wouldn't do anything if the other wasn't comfortable. He wanted Neji to love him back, even if a large part of his brain told him that was impossible. But that part wasn't in charge right now.
"…Yeah." The long haired man nodded, feeling Lee's hand press against his skin more. He focused on the caring warm touch, separating it from the cold scrapping crawls over his neck and arms. The Hyuuga closed his eyes; a huge sign of submission from Neji, for a Hyuuga to close his eyes was the same as forfeiting his weapons. Lee's brow dipped as he pressed forward, the scene seemingly more intimate then their previous kisses. Before they were fueled but adrenaline and almost hormonal urges. Now it felt like the cliché romance novel kiss.
The two felt the gentle touch of a pair of lips, not quite doing anything yet, just touching and brushing against each other. Lee rubbed his thumb over Neji's hand as he pressed their lips together, a slow, and melancholy of motions. The bowl haired man didn't move any further until after a seconds when Neji pressed back, sucking on Lee's lips.
The Hyuuga could feel Lee gulp through their lips, the Jounin not sure what to do next. He was the same age as Lee but his sexual encounters had been kept to a minimum. He did love the way Lee's hand on his face helped to direct how he should tilt his head or how far forward he should press. Lee on the other hand was doing his best to hold himself back, Neji's responses were sexy as hell and the Chunin was beginning to worry he might take it too far if Neji didn't give him a boundary.
The speed of lips moving stayed the same but the force behind them grew, the soft wet sounds seemed like a gunshot in the dead silent room. Neji having his head tilted to the side as his mouth pressed into Lee's, both of their heads making a continuous back and forth motion as they kissed.
Neji couldn't think of anything but the feel of Lee's skin and the taste of his lips. All the stress was gone as if it was never there in the first place. The strain in his upper back and shoulders melting further away with every movement the two of them made. Lee's hand moved to the back of his neck, massaging it and pressing into the sensitive tendons and muscles. A tremor ran up Neji's back as the shinobi made his arms and legs shiver.
Lee broke their lips apart and both of them panted softly. Lavender mixed with onyx as they looked at each other, a thick silence falling over the two shinobi. His fingers rubbed against the fast pulse in Neji's neck, the heart beat loud in the green-lover's ears.
"N-Neji…I-" The Chunin was cut off as Neji wrapped his arms around Lee's neck, crushing their lips back together. The Hyuuga couldn't lose the mind numbing bliss, it was too addictive. Rock Lee didn't object much and just kissed back. Their mouths moving quicker now, a strange hungry fueling their lips as Neji buried his fingers in Lee's black hair. The Chunin pushed Neji down against the bed, his hand releasing the Hyuuga's hand to hook under the long haired man's knee and pull Neji towards him.
The kissing continued at its constant pace, Lee still hesitant to move too quickly. His scarred fingers traced Neji's thigh and the Hyuuga's legs pressed against the Chunin's. Neji sucked on Lee's lips, the taste of ginger from his chicken still strong in his mouth. The Hyuuga opened his mouth fully to get a better feeling and tilted his head to the side more, figuring out Lee's rhythm made things go smoother.
Lee's gentle touches made his skin light up, an unfamiliar heat growing in his stomach as Neji broke the kiss to catch his breath. The Hyuuga breathed quickly, starring up at the Chunin as the calm, mellow feelings numbed his train of thought and made him never want to leave that state for forgetfulness. Rock Lee gulped, so hard the Hyuuga could see his neck tendons tighten, the bowl haired man wore a worried expression as he looked down at the Hyuuga under him.
"We have to stop here…" Lee whispered, knowing he'd already crossed the imaginary line. He didn't even know if Neji returned his feelings, yet they were still in their situation.
Rock Lee backed off and sat back on his knees, watching the Hyuuga follow him up, an irritated glare appearing in Neji's eyes as his bliss left, bringing him back to reality.
If they went all the way would it replace his horrid thoughts about sex? Could it speed up his recovery?
He couldn't let his life revolve around this fear.
Neji felt the cool air him as Lee stood off the bed and started for his own bed, taking Neji's silence as an awkward agreement. The Hyuuga glared at the ground, cursing at himself.
"Just learn to trust yourself again. And you'll soon see that you'll trust others too."
The Hyuuga's eye narrowed. He would get nowhere like this. Always backing out at the last moment.
"Rock Lee." The Hyuuga turned, climbed off the bed and quickly made his way over to the Chunin. Lee looked up as he sat down on his bed. Neji startled the other shinobi as he straddled the tanner man. Lee blushed a bright red as Neji forced his shoulders back against the bed. The Hyuuga pulled out his hair tie as he spoke.
"I'd like for the two of us to engage in sexual actions." Neji's voice rang with his usual prideful tone. Lavender eyes lowered in a determined stare as Lee just blinked. His chocolate hair falling over his shoulder, tickling Lee's face.
It took the Chunin a minute to understand what the Hyuuga was talking about and then his blush darkened and spread all the way to his ears.
"N-Neji, but…I-I…" Lee gulped and tried to compose himself. "W-will you be okay? I mean…"
The Hyuuga just kept his unwavering expression as he replied. "I'm well aware. I wish to see how far my metal state will allow me to endure."
Lee sat up, his hands setting themselves on the long haired brunette's thighs. "Neji, I don't know about this. I don't think you're ready."
"You've been all over me for the past week, and now you choose to give a damn about if I'm ready or not?"
Neji raised his voice and felt the dryness in his throat.
Don't back down.
Lee cringed at the statement and felt the guilt that came with it. "I didn't mean…I…"
The two looked away for a moment collecting their thoughts again.
"I just don't want you to feel like to have to keep forcing yourself for me, Neji." Lee was quieter now, his blush faded and he sat up a bit more so Neji was in his lap.
The Hyuuga sighed and leaned his head against the taller man's chest.
"Lee, I want to do this for me. I need to get better and I want you to help me." Neji tilted his head up at the Chunin. Lavender eyes in a steady gaze. "I need you to help me get over this."
The other shinobi sighed and thought a moment.
"I'm still not sure, Neji. What if you have another panic attack or something?" Lee asked, hands softly rubbing the Hyuuga's sides.
Neji raised an eyebrow in annoyance. "I'll be fine; I'll tell you if I wish to stop."
"Neji?"
"Hn?"
"This wouldn't have anything to do with that exposure therapy the doctor was talking about, would it?" Lee asked with a blank expression.
The Hyuuga's eyebrow twitched just a little.
"Partially yes, but I want to sped up my recovery as quickly as possible. Using you I can make my recuperation faster." Neji stated, he found Lee's behavior strange.
The tanner man removed his hands from the Hyuuga's waist. He wore a hurt and angered look in his eyes. Rock Lee sighed a bit more aggravated now.
"Neji, get off me, please."
The long haired brunette froze, what was he going on about now?
"Why?"
Lee's anger black orbs met lavender. He leaned closer to Neji as he voice rose while he spoke. "Because I'm not going to sleep with you."
Lee pushed the Hyuuga off him and got off the bed. Neji grabbed his hand and asked, anger and confusion filling his head.
"Wait, why? I don't understand."
Lee only became more agitated as the Hyuuga tried to comprehend the conversation.
Rock Lee pulled his hand away and began to put a loose pair of jeans on.
"Rock Lee, do not ignore me."
The Chunin force a shirt over his head and turned back to the Hyuuga. "Neji, what you're asking of me is pretty selfish. I know I've been a little less that careful with you in the past couple of days, but that's only because I thought, maybe, just maybe you felt something back."
The Hyuuga stood from the bed and watched as Lee opened the door to their room.
"I can see now you really don't care, I'll be back in the morning to see you to your appointment."
Before Neji could reply the door was slammed shut and the empty room echoed.
The long haired brunette stood silent. He stared at the door and felt the silence stabbing his ears like a blade.
I don't understand, what did I do wrong? Did I offend him somehow?
Neji's throat remained dry. He tried to clear it but Lee's word kept repeating in his head. He had this cold rush throughout his entire body.
Placing a hand on his throat, Neji made his way to the bathroom. He poured a glass of water and tried to wet it, but to no avail.
The Hyuuga met his red rimmed eyes in the mirror. His throat stung and his eyes became dry as well.
Did I do something wrong?
He felt the intense sting and a sound escaped his throat. He covered his mouth.
Why did Lee snap at him? Did he hate Neji now? Had the Hyuuga ruined everything with a rash decision?
He hadn't meant to come off as selfish. Didn't Lee like him?
Another sound.
Why did he feel so…so…?
Neji felt warm liquid run down his cheek. He shot his head up and starred back at the mirror. His eyes blurred at the tears came thick and plentiful. They fell from his eyes as the shaking in Neji's chest started. The Hyuuga clenched his hand over his mouth tighter.
What? Why am I…?
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I IS THE WORST AUTHOR EVER I KNOW! SO SORRY KTHXBYE!