A/N: YAY DRAMA!
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Lee glared as he walked through the small town. It was the dead of night. No lights were lit apart from a few street lanterns.
The Chunin had the anger fueling his legs as he walked.
"You can't just pull something like that out of nowhere…" He grumbled to himself as he thought over what'd happened.
"Did he even think how I would feel? Has he just been using me this whole time?" Lee's anger subsided as sadness rose in his chest. He slowed to a walk and sighed.
"I was an idiot for thinking he could love me back anyway…" Lee stared at his shoes. What was he going to do now; he couldn't go back and face Neji now.
He's hurt right now, He probably meant for it to come from a sincere place. He might not have realized.
But how do you not realized having sex is really extreme? You're supposed to care for each other before you dive right in.
He's in pain; he might have just wanted to be comforted.
That's still not grounds for having that kind of intimacy with each other. He only sees me as a teammate anyway.
Lee groaned and scratched his head. Arguing with himself wasn't helping any.
He walked around some more and thought. And the more he reflected the more he felt stupid for over reacting and leaving Neji alone the way he did.
He loved Neji more than himself sometimes and he never would have even guessed that the Hyuuga would trust him. Neji was always against getting close to people, and yet he was letting the green-loving shinobi kiss him and hug him, along with sharing deep thoughts with.
Lee would never want to do something to upset Neji.
And yet he still reacted the way he did.
Was him liking Neji not enough, did he want the Hyuuga to like him back as well?
"Neji isn't ready yet, he's so fragile right now." Lee told himself. No matter how much he wanted the Hyuuga, he would hold himself back for Neji's sake.
Lee turned around, seeing the hotel in the distance. His brow lifted as a scary thought passed through his head.
What if I had been too harsh and Neji hurt himself?
"No, calm down. Neji wouldn't do something like that." Lee laughed nervously. He frowned a bit and started back for the hotel.
#
Rock Lee opened the hotel door slowly and quietly. All the lights were off and he could see the outline of Neji in his bed. The Chunin sighed in relieve. Not wanting to wake the Hyuuga, Lee tip-toed to his own bed and laid down. The taller shinobi fell asleep within a few minutes.
The brunette sat up and deactivated his Byakugan; he'd been watching Lee for a while now, long before he returned to the hotel. Neji pulled the blankets off and sat, starring into the dark walls of the room.
Lee hates me…
Neji pulled his legs close to his chest. Why did he have to go and mess everything up? This was exactly the opposite of what he wanted to be happening.
And just when I was…
The Hyuuga gulped softly as the thought faded out. He turned and watched Lee's chest fall and rise in the little light the moon produced.
He leaned his head on his knees and watched the Chunin. Lee snoring made Neji fell a little better but also pained him as well.
His arms burned. He removed the bandages and ran his fingers over the wounds that had disappeared and left nothing now but faint red marks, which would soon disappear too. Why did they hurt so much still?
The sounds of the rope straining entered the room. Neji gulped and covered his ears. His eyes were sore from crying and forcing them shut only irritated them.
He could feel the rope digging into his wrist as he ground his teeth together. The panting, and the sweat the covered his skin. It mixed with the dirt and other fluids.
The Hyuuga could feel his hair being pulled and yanked. The teeth on his chest, and fingers ranking down his back.
Why won't they stop?!
Neji peaked into the dim room and found only darkness. He took a deep shaken breathe. Hadn't he been through enough? Wouldn't this nightmare disappear already?
What had he done wrong to deserve this? Was it because he viewed himself above those weaker? They way he'd acted when he was younger? That he didn't believe a person could change what they really were?
He wanted to feel that numbness again.
But instead he relieved the nightmare again and again. He hadn't felt so horrible since the incident itself. The past couple of nights he'd been fine. But he'd also been with Lee.
I'm not going to bother Lee; I'm going to get over this damn fear myself.
Neji curled in on himself as the sounds and touches grew more vivid. The heat on his body grew and the finger touching him felt next to real.
The Hyuuga stayed that way for the next few hours, quietly enduring his torment with fire growing in his eyes every passing minute. Soon enough the sun was beginning to raise and Neji got dressed.
The hand retreating to feathers as he finished getting ready. Neji glance in the mirror only to regret it. Dark rings under his bloodshot eyes made him look insanely tired; his hair was back in its tie but the tie kept falling out.
The Hyuuga grew angry and removed it only to find when he pulled his hand away strands of hair were caught in his fingers. He gulped and glanced over to his brush. Indeed it was full of hair.
My damn hair is falling out!
Neji growled and glared at himself in the mirror. He looked like a damn madman.
The brunette stopped and stared at himself.
Was the person staring back at him really Neji Hyuuga? The Jounin from Konoha, member of the Hyuuga clan and one of the biggest protégés of his generation?
No, this was a broken Neji. He'd fallen.
#
"Well I would ask how your night was, but I think I fear the answer." The Doctor chuckled blandly and watched the tired Hyuuga sip his tea.
The Doctor himself was gulping down coffee like it was going out of style.
Neji stared at his tea and felt his eyes drop. He flinched as his head slumped. He shook his head and cleared his throat.
"Where's that Lee boy?" The Doctor asked while waiting for his next cup.
"He and I are in the middle of a disagreement." Neji's eyes darkened slightly. "I did something I regret and I believe I offended him."
"Hn, what did you do?" The Doctor raised a large eyebrow. The Hyuuga set his cup down and sighed before speaking.
"I asked if he wanted to try that exposure therapy with me, though I think I pushed it a little too far."
The Doctor sat, puzzled and waited for the brunette to explain. Neji turned away and placed his hand in his lap awkwardly.
"I asked him if he wanted to see if we could have sex. I wanted to see how far I could go before I reacted negatively."
The older man laughed. He wiped his eyes and saw the pissed Hyuuga glaring at him. He waved his hand and cleared his throat.
"Well he's probably 'offended' because you intended to use him. You weren't trying to have sexual intercourse with him because you like him, but because you just needed a test dummy."
The shinobi blinked. Then he frowned and covered his face with his hand.
He cursed under his breath. How could he have been so stupid, Lee had told him he loved the Hyuuga. Of course he'd take something like that personally. But Neji hadn't meant for it to appear like that. He would just do that with anyone.
Lee was the only-
Neji cut his line of thought off and looked back up at the Doctor. Ignoring the thoughts plaguing his mind.
"Anything else troubling you?"
"I've been wondering, what're some common, I don't know if you would call them 'side effects', of PTSD?" Neji asked placing his hair behind his ears, without his tie it kept falling in his face and it was getting extremely annoying.
"Why, have you been experiencing strange things?" The Doctor asked as one of his assistants brought him his next coffee. He sipped it as Neji answered.
"I believe so, I have these kinds of hallucinations and I can feel things that I know are not really there. I've also had these emotional surges where I'll get so angry I can barely control myself."
The Doctor rubbed his morning stubble and nodded. "These are normal for trauma victims. It sounds like you've been reliving similar events, connecting to your incident."
"I've been reliving the entire thing almost every night since it happened."
The Doctor raised his eyes surprised. He swallowed his coffee and coughed a bit. He ran a hand through his messy hair.
"Goodness. That must be tormenting. I've heard of people having dreams where figure symbolizing there attacker is there, but to relive the actual event is much less common." The blonde man thought for a moment.
"Maybe exposure therapy would be most effective."
The Doctor stood and motioned for the Hyuuga to stand as well.
The older man took the next thirty or so minutes explain exposure therapy and though he applauded Neji for trying to heal himself, that he should really only do it with someone else around. Not knowing what would set him off could put the other person in danger.
After all this the Doctor gave Neji a blindfold. The Hyuuga placed it on and waited for further instruction.
"All right Neji. I'm going to shake your hand."
The Hyuuga felt the other man's hand grab his hand shake before releasing it.
"Make your thought audible, please. Let me understand your thoughts." The Doctor's voice was the only was Neji could know where he was. His footsteps on the tile were faint as he moved around.
"I supposed I'm nervous, not being able to see. Being a Hyuuga sight is a large part of my fighting style."
"And?" The Doctor grabbed his hand, but this time from the side. He shook it and then released it.
"Touching makes my arms hurt."
"Your arms?" The Doctor raised an eyebrow and watched the Hyuuga's facial expression closely.
"Yes, when I have my 'side effects' my arms, where my hands had been tied, burn."
"Interesting, so it's like a defense signal." The doctor stood close to Neji's side.
"I'm now going to grab your arm." Neji felt his upper arm pulled away from his body and tugged a bit forcefully. Flashes of the rouge leader popped into his head.
He froze and when the Doctor released him he didn't let his arm fall.
"Neji? What're you thinking?"
"…"
"Neji." The Doctor went to grab the Hyuuga's arm again but the shinobi took a step back, pulling his arm close to his side.
"Excuse me; I just need a moment to calm down." The Hyuuga's hands shook and he clench them in fists by his sides.
"This is what we want; you need to face your fear head on." The man's voice boomed in the large room.
Neji's breath hitched as the Doctor grabbed his arm again. The yellow eyes starred at him and he panicked, throwing the Doctor off him and jumping back. Tripping and falling onto his back. He cringed as he sat up.
"It seems you're alright with minor contact, but when it becomes forceful you're brain takes over and goes to the defense. Interesting." The Doctor steadied and brushed himself off. He brought a finger to his lips and thought.
The Hyuuga stood and fixed his hair. His hands shook as he did. He cleared his throat and tried to stop the trembling.
#
The brunette was now much more tired. After spending the whole day doing the exposure therapy Neji just wanted to curl up in his bed and fall asleep. He said his goodbyes to the Doctor and made his way towards the lobby. He moved his hair behind his ears; he'd been doing it all day. He wasn't used to his long brown locks tickling his face.
He opened the sliding door and saw the somewhat empty lobby, it was late now and most of the other clients had left their sessions. Neji was surprised a bit to see Lee sitting in one of the chairs. Hands intertwined as he leaned on his knees.
"Lee?" The Hyuuga walked over, refraining from touching the other. He'd had enough physical contact for the day.
The other shinobi practically jumped out of his seat and looked like he was going to say something, but nothing came. Lee lifted his hand to touch the Hyuuga but stopped himself, clenching his fingers into a fist. He let his arm fall to his side.
"Um, how'd it go?" He spoke gently; the insane guilt that crushed his chest was unbearable. Neji looked horrible; Lee couldn't help but feel responsible.
"Alright, I only hit him a few times." Neji said. He was shocked Lee had come to get him.
Then again he is getting paid to escort me.
The two stood there for a few moments before deciding to return to the hotel. They walked through the town, it was already far into the afternoon and the dinner rush was showing around the shops.
"Did you want something to eat?" Lee asked. Neji just looked so tired it made Lee feel bad for giving him even more to worry about.
"No, I'm not in the mood to eat, I'd just like to rest." Neji replied, pushing his hair back on to his back. He wouldn't meet the green-lover's eyes. Both standing further apart then usually.
"You shouldn't skip meals, Neji." Lee scolded him a bit, seeing the stress was really taking its toll on the Hyuuga.
Neji clenched his fist as the surge of rage filled his blood. Another mood swing he couldn't control. He grabbed Lee by the front of his shirt and growled, fire burning under his skin.
"I'm a god damned Jounin, I've gone days without food, don't think you can preach to me. I'm still your senior." Neji gave the other a rough push as he walked faster towards the hotel.
Lee stood frozen; he'd never seen Neji react so quickly and with such fury. He straightened out his shirt and watched the mad Hyuuga disappear into the streets. He slapped his palm into his fore head.
Why had he gone and made Neji mad? That was the complete opposite of what he wanted.
Lee sighed, they'd only spoken for a few minutes and the Chunin had messed up again.
Rock Lee went into one of the curry houses and ordered the hottest thing on the menu.
As he sat the waiter from the other day recognized him, mostly from his outrageous meal.
"Hey, mister. No soba today?" The waiter placed the food and ginger down. He refilled the shinobi's glass as Lee felt even worse.
"I'm afraid not. But I'd love some tempura if that's alright." Lee smiled a bit, not wanting to offend the man. The waiter nodded and went back into the kitchen.
Lee mostly just played with his food, taking a bite every once in a while. He still finished the plate of tempura and all his curry but he hadn't enjoyed it. Neji wouldn't leave his mind.
Neji's hurt because I rejected him. I'm not sure what to do…
The shinobi place his head in his hand. What was he supposed to do? He'd never been in this kind of situation before.
Maybe he and Neji just needed a little space; they'd been with each other all the time for the last week. Lee had already decided before he wouldn't try anything with the Hyuuga. Neji wasn't himself and he needed time to heal.
The waiter brought the bill and Lee paid. He stayed in the restaurant for an hour or so. He began to see why Neji liked to just sit and relax. He got to watch the other talking and having fun, while they ate. The way the waiters always started out with the same, happy-go-lucky smile. It eased his stress a little.
The waiter kept glance over at him. Lee just pushed off as the man was waiting for him to leave. To his surprise the waiter brought a take-out bowl over to him. He placed it on the table and winked before leaving.
"But, I didn't order-" Lee started but was cut off as the waiter waved goodbye. He was a little confused until he saw the familiar herring soba Neji loved so much.
Jeez, such a nice thing to do.
Lee smiled a bit as he took the bag that surround the bowl and left the shop.
#
The Hyuuga had fallen asleep quite quickly after his destruction of the bedside table; he'd have to pay for it later. Neji breathed softly as the door to the room opened. He didn't want to open his eyes as it woke him.
He groaned, tired as the familiar flash of green appeared next to his bed. Lee was kneeling on the floor so their eyes were level.
"Neji." He spoke softly. The Hyuuga groaned in response, he just wanted to sleep.
Lee chuckle light heartedly and took the lid off a bowl. Neji smelled what could only be described as heaven in noodle form.
He lifted his head and moved his hair out of his face. Lee moved his bedside table over, seeing Neji's in pieces across the floor. He set up the bowl for Neji and kept smiling as the adorably tired Hyuuga finally sat all the way up and reached for the chop sticks.
Lee stood leaving the Jounin to eat in piece. He cleaned up the broken wood and set it off to the side of the room, he'd take care of it later. He glanced back over to the eating Hyuuga and smiled a bit. He was glad Neji had calmed down and was in a better mood.
The Chunin changed into his relaxing clothes and washed up. As he exited the bathroom he saw Neji had finished his food.
"That was fast." He joked lightly, moving over to his bed. Neji sat staring at his arms. Lee could see the slight pink marks that stained his arms. They'd be gone soon. That thought made Lee feel a little better.
"Lee."
The chunin turned to the other shinobi. Neji wore a strange expression, like he wanted to say something but didn't know how. Lee had never seen it on the Hyuuga. He sat on the edge of his bed closest to Neji's.
"Yeah, Neji."
"I wanted to apologize for my behavior, today as well as last night." Neji spoke softly, rubbing his wrists.
Lee blinked and waved his hands. "No, you fine, I'm not mad. You don't need to apologize."
He flushed a bit; he hadn't meant to make the Hyuuga feel bad.
"I do, I was very rude yesterday and you had every reason to act the way you did." Neji continued, a little less nervous now. He needed to let Lee know. He had to trust himself enough to control his action.
"But I want you to know I didn't mean to sound like I was using you. I'd never do that." Neji got a stern look, one that reminded Lee of the Hyuuga's usual glare.
Lee just sat and listened as Neji continued to speak, getting all of this off his chest.
"After thinking I've decided that you should return Konoha ahead of me, I'll make my back by myself. My reaction earlier showed me that I've been taking out my anger on you and I haven't been very fair."
Lee's eyes widened. What was Neji talking about?
"Neji, I'm not leaving you here alone."
"But what if I hurt you?" Neji snapped as the room grew tense.
"Then I'll take it laughing and smiling." Lee grinned as he stood from his bed.
"Lee, I can't take it. Knowing all I'm doing is causing you grief." The Hyuuga's eyes softened but his voice stayed in the same harsh tone.
He'd already hurt Lee emotionally and physically. He didn't want to screw up anymore. If Lee wasn't there he could hurt the Chunin. He didn't know how to love someone anyway. How could he possibly return Lee's feelings?
"Neji, I've loved you silently for years, I'm not about to go back to that unless you said it would make you happy." Lee said as he moved over to sit next to the Hyuuga, careful not to touch Neji.
The Hyuuga glared at the other. "I'd never ask you to suffer like that."
"Neji." Lee smiled as he stared at the Hyuuga. It was clear Neji was conflicted and confused about what to do. The Chunin would do his best to help Neji, no matter what.
"Nothing in this world would make me happier than to know you're safe and happy, that's all I need."
The Hyuuga lowered his gaze. He was trying to apologize and the idiot had to go and say something like that?
Neji lied back against the bed and buried his hands over his eyes. How could the Chunin be so selfless?
Lee laid next to him, leaning on his side and just looked at the Hyuuga. He'd help the Jounin no matter what, even if Neji ended up hating his guts, he'd make sure Neji was alright.
"Neji, I really do care about you, you know?" He spoke softer, His deep tone vibrating in Neji's ears. Why did Lee always know what to say to make him feel better?
"Lee, could you turn the lights off, I'm tired." His voice was quiet and shaken. The tanner man got off the bed and Neji felt himself sink in a little.
The lights were off at the sound of a switch. Neji still covered his eyes as he heard Lee moving back to his own bed.
The Hyuuga moved his arms and saw the other man up under his blankets and laid his head on his pillow.
Lee smiled as he relaxed into his bed. He was happy Neji had calmed down. No matter how much he'd wanted to hug the stressed Hyuuga he fought against his urge. He'd let Neji have his space.
The sound of the floor creaking made him look over his shoulder. Neji moved the edge of his blanket and lied down next to the Chunin, his usual uninterested expression across his face.
Lee turned over a bit confused as he felt the Hyuuga press his back against the green-lover's chest.
"Neji?" Rock Lee asked quietly, seeing the other close his eyes. Neji hummed in response as he got comfortable.
"What are…?" Lee let his sentence go unfinished as Neji looked at him for a moment before looking away, an awkward expression replacing his other.
Lee felt his cheeks warm a little as Neji relaxed against his chest. The Chunin smiled happily as he watched the Hyuuga for a few moments, then relaxing back into the pillow.
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Semi-cute ending for all y'all!