This little gang was tough
And our fight was rough
They were stong, I will not lie
But in the end they had to die
"Do I really need to say anything?" Kiba asked as he reclined in his seat. Sasuke laughed
"No, not at all."
«(goin back in tyyyym)»
I woke up to the sound of snoring and slowly opened my eyes to find Uzumaki snoring softly, the car was parked in what looked like a supermarket parking lot.
I decided to go for a walk so I looked for the car keys which were well hidden...in his right breast pocket where I distinctly remember the fool reaching for it and coming out with a cigarette.
I reached in the pocket and found the keys along with a lighter and 5 cigarettes and decided to take a walk.
As I went out of the car a tan hand reached out and grabbed me and I growled.
"What are you doing Uzumaki?" the owner of said hand got up and yawned before letting go of mine
"Wait a minute when while I put on my shoes, i'm coming with you whether you like it or not. " I sighed and waited for him to finish before locking the car.
The town was kinda small and and rather empty for a saturday morning but it had a grocery and fast food shop so it was good enough.
"Man i'm hungry" Naruto said while yawning again and I resisted the urge to facepalm
"I know, which is why we are currently walking in the direction of a fast food shop you moron!"
"Geez bastard you dont gotta be an ass about it!" he said as he took out another cigarette and went in the direction of the shop
"I wouldn't do that if I were you." a voice from behind said and we both turned to find a young woman leaning against what looked to be a cosmetics shop. I scowled
"And why not?" the woman smirked and held out a newspaper.
"I'm pretty sure everyone already has a copy by now, come inside before someone spots you." we then followed the woman into the shop and she motioned for us to sit down.
"As you can see, you guys are all over the news." she pointed to a newspaper which had me and Uzumaki on the cover page with the words Criminal Killers On The Loose were written in bold over our faces. Uzumaki gasped and I glared at the paper
"What the hell is this? My nose is NOT that big and I am definitely much hotter than that? This is an outrage!" both Uzumaki and the woman looked at me and I glared at them.
"Dude we are currently on the cover page of Fire Nation Times and you are worrying about how you look on the paper?" Uzumaki said while the woman snorted.
"Well if I am going to be on the cover then they can at least make me look good, people will be seeing this you baboon!" I yelled and this time the woman burst out laughing while Uzumaki facepalmed.
Just as he was about to retaliate the door swung open and 5 people ran in.
"Boss did you hear about Uchi...ha?" the first one said as he turned to stare at me while the other four's eyes widened. the woman got up from her chair and stood next to them.
"Allow me to introduce ourselves this is Hyuuga Hinata." she pointed to a blushing woman with dark blue hair and rather pale eyes
"This is her cousin Hyuuga Neji." she then pointed to a tall brunette male with equally pale eyes, he quickly bowed at us before closing his eyes.
"The guy over there is Sabaku no Gaara." she motioned to a short red haired male who was busy glaring at his shoes.
"That's his older sister Temari." she pointed to a tall blonde woman who had her hair tied into four spiky ponytails
"And the moron that just barged in here is Sai." she glared at a man that looked like a paler, less hot and awesome version of me, I scoffed at him and he smiled. Creepy
"And my name is Tayuya." I was about to speak when my Sasuke wannabe interrupted me.
"Ah I see, so the Vampire must be Uchiha Sasuke." I am so going to kill a bitch!
"And the dumb blonde must be Uzumaki Naruto!" welcome home my long lost twin brother!
Uzumaki glared before he started yelling at the me wannabe. I sighed before shoving a cigarette in his mouth and that seemed to shut him up.
"Yeah nice to know you and all but what does this have to do with us?" I inquired while Uzumaki started searching for his lighter. Tayuya smiled before picking up a remote controller and switching on the tv to the news channel.
"...nd the two men have still not surfaced yet so please if anyone sees these two men that should be on your screen right now please contact the number below and do not engage in any physical contact with them, they will kill you!" there was a long moment of silence before I decided to voice my own opinion.
"Oh so now they get my nose right but they couldn't do it for the newspapers? I am going to sue Fire Nation Times for all its worth, even if its the last thing I do!" everyone turned to gape at me, Uzumaki going as far as to let his burned cigarette drop to the floor and I glared weakly at them. What a bunch of drama queens.
Tayuya was the first one to recover and she switched off the tv while the others sat down.
"As you can see, you are currently on the run." Hinata stood up next
"Uzumaki Naruto, age 23, Parents Minato and Kushina died when you were three and you were raised by your guardians Tsunade and Jiraya who just recently passed away, you also have an adopted older brother by the name of Kyuubi, he disappeared a few months ago in search of the perfect beer." she took a deep breath before turning to look at me
" Uchiha Sasuke, age 23, Parents Mikoto and Fugaku died in a fire when you were 16 which was set by a few employees that had just been re trenched. Your guardian Kakashi then took you and your brother Itachi who is now 28 in and raised you both until he disappeared a couple years ago. Your brother is part of a notorious gang called the akatsuki." my eyes widened as she sat down and Neji stood up
"Uzumaki Naruto was a top class spy for the anbu before getting fired for disposing of a man he was supposed to protect, he then took a job at the police force but that is just a ruse so he could get some critical info to use against the anbu. His goal in life is to destroy the, and I quote 'stupid useless organization called anbu, bunch of bitches!" I snorted while Uzumaki mumbled something about pale eyed psychics
"Uchiha Sasuke was a member of the Akatsuki before leaving to chase his goal to become a poet. That recently stopped when he cold bloodedly killed his own girlfriend Karin because she was cheating on him, he also killed miss Haruno but that was in self defense." ok maybe Uzumaki has a point.
I huffed before standing up as well "Ok, you know a whole lot of stuff about us what do you want?" Tayuya raised an eyebrow and I sighed
"It is clear that one of you is a very experienced hacker, you could easily sell us out to the police so I repeat. What. Do. You. Want?" Tayuya shrugged
"What makes you think we want anything?" I glared at her before pulling out my gun and pointing it at her face. Her eyes widened while everyone else except Hinata and Sai also pulled out their guns.
" I will not hesitate to blow your brains out right here right now so answer my damn question woman!" Tayuya smirked
"If you do that then my team will kill you as well." I almost cursed when Uzumaki finally stood up from his spot on the chair.
"Actually its quite the opposite really. You see Neji may have his gun pointed at Uchiha but the way he has it pointed is a terrible mistake. If he were to fire it all Uchiha has to do is exhale and the bullet will easily fly over his head, striking Hinata on the forehead." I smirked before adding on
"Gaara on the other hand has a clean shot to the back of my head but his position is also giving Uzumaki a clean shot to his neck and higher vertebrae which will kill him before he can even pull his own trigger." gaara growled as he felt the cold metal of Uzumaki's pistol on his lower back. I smirked and he winked at me before continuing
"Since both hinata and gaara will be dead, both Sasuke and I can easily finish off Neji, who will be in trauma at killing his own cousin and Sai, who is just standing there before taking what we want and burning this place down."
"Hey what about me?" Temari inquired and I resisted the urge to facepalm right there.
"Temari, big sister of mine...your gun is upside down, if you fire it, it will kill you." Gaara explained while Temari gaped before lowering her gun. I smirked and turned back to Tayuya
"So do you still want to play dumb?" Tayuya glared at me before sighing in defeat
"Look, we want you to join our crew okay?" I raised my eyebrow at her before lowering my gun and sitting back down.
"Now why on earth would I want to join your group, I am my own boss and I do what I want when I want." My smirk disappeared as Uzumaki roughly elbowed me in the gut
"What he is trying to say is that as appealing as your offer sounds we will have to decline as we really do not want to be in any gang. You see we are more free range, sorry." Uzumaki smiled sheepishly and Tayuya shrugged.
"Your loss, just remember that although you two are top ranking on the media you are still at the bottom on the billboard and that is not good news for you." both Uzumaki and I stiffened. Of course! How did I forget about that stupid chart now every low life gangster wannabe will be after us unless...
"Hehehehe." Everyone carefully took three steps away from me while Uzumaki prodded me softly with his gun
"Eh Uchiha not to be rude but you're looking a bit...evil." My smirk grew wider before I Turned to Tayuya
"So tell me, are you guys, attached to this town?" they all shook their heads before Gaara spoke up
"No in fact we were just passing by to take care of my late uncle's shop, today is our last day here, we just decided to shut this place down." I nodded in satisfaction
"Well them could you make sure that you are gone before midnight tonight? I have a statement to make and I do not want you to get caught up in the crossfire." their eyes widened before they all nodded.
"Wait wait wait a damn minute! Uchiha you had better not be planning what I think you're planning! These people are innocent! Are you crazy!?" Uzumaki practically yelled in my ear and I scoffed before punching him on the chest
"That's for elbowing me earlier and no you retard, I am not going to kill innocent people I am not insane!"
"Then what the hell are you going to do smartass!" I groaned as I felt a migraine creeping up my skull.
"Tayuya, Hinata, Temari, make him look like someone he's not. Gaara, Neji, My less hot doppelganger wannabe, guard the shop and make sure nobody comes in." they all nodded before the three ladies dragged a loudly protesting Uzumaki into what I assumed was a changing room.
"So since the girls are busy giving Uzumaki a makeover, who will change you?" Mini Me asked and I scoffed arrogantly
"Oh please mini me, I can do this myself." He scowled at the 'mini me' part before smiling and walking towards Neji and Gaara.
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"Perfect." I whispered as I looked at myself in the mirror.
I now had a shoulder length red wig on with brown eye contacts, I applied some of that brown stuff on my face to make me a bit more tanned. I wore simple faded ripped jeans with a long sleeved beach boy t-shirt and blue sneakers. I nodded in satisfaction before putting on a cap and turning it backwards to complete the look. Damn even as a redhead I still manage to look sexy, man I love myself.
"If you're done ogling yourself can you tell me exactly what your plan is?" A voice from behind me said and I turned to find a brunette man with short messy hair and equally brown eyes. He was dressed in a white dress shirt with black jeans and simple shiny black dress shoes. I smirked
"Not bad Uzumaki, I see they managed to make you look decent
"Don't push it Uchiha I haven't smoked in 20 minutes and I can already feel my body going into withdrawal so tell me the plan so I can go and get some more smokes before I die already!" I groaned at the moron in front of me before walking towards a chair and sitting down. The other 6 quickly shutting up to listen.
"Well we are going to go out and introduce ourselves as travellers then we will spend the whole day trying to get as much info about all the gangs in the area at the moment." Uzumaki scratched the back of his head
"Then what?
"Then" I chuckled darkly " by nightfall we hunt down every single gang member and kill them. Then" my chuckled gradually evolved into a laugh " we drag their bodies and pile them in the town square and leave a little love letter for the police." Tayuya and her gang shivered and stepped back again except for gaara who was busy glaring at his shoes again and Naruto who was deathly silent before walking slowly towards me.
"Uchiha...that could probably be the smartest thing you've thought of, lets do it!" he yelled before grinning, cigarette withdrawal long forgotten.
"I thought you didn't want any innocent lives to be claimed." I inquired and he shrugged
"Criminals are far from being innocent, so are the police." I smirked in acknowledgment before getting up.
"Well then lets get going."
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We both briefly said goodbye to the small group and as we left the shop I turned to Mini Me and smirked
"Don't screw my reputation up more than it already is mini me." he smiled and waved
"Of course prissy one, take good care of dumb blonde okay." Uzumaki growled dangerously and I nodded
"Likewise." i'm really going to miss this guy.
"So Uchiha who are we." Uzumaki said and I suddenly remembered that I had to come up with different personalities for us.
"I am a young 19 year old college student studying engineering but all I want to do is to become a professional surfer, however my parents don't want be to surf since it is a stupid career choice." Uzumaki nodded in understanding and motioned for me to continue
"You are the 26 year old college professor who saw the potential surfer in me." Uzumaki smiled in agreement before Mini Me decided to add his two cents
"So you left your wife and kids to fend for themselves and you took poor Sasuke along on a road trip, pretending to actually care about his dreams when all you want to do is to find a nice french chick and tap her into the nearest wa-"
WHAM! I snorted as Mini Me was sent crashing through the store window by a red faced Uzumaki. Hinata gasped while Gaara sighed before walking in the store and dragging the now unconscious man out by his foot. He then glared at Temari who grumbled before leaning down and whispering something to Mini Me
I have never seen anyone look more scared in my life, not even my dear Karin.
"Hey Uchiha, what do you say? Its a pretty good story minus what Sai said." I voiced my agreement with my usual ' i'm better than you' smirk and we started walking towards the nearest shop.
Well I did, Uzumaki just sprinted towards the car and came back with a satisfied expression on his face and a lit cigarette in his mouth, tch if I ever become the Kage by some miracle then my first law will be to ban cigarettes. Ah yes imagine how many people will suffer, it will be some great entertainment especially if one decides to kill themselves. Or maybe I cold then host a death match, the last one alive gets a lifetime supply of cigarettes. Then I lace those cigarettes with potassium cyanide and watch them burn from the inside out, yes great entertainment. I wonder if I can get that stuff they put in atomic bombs, yes I will torture everyone before dropping a few atomic bombs on my way out of the country. I can see it already the destruction of japan, caused by its own Kage Uchiha Sasuke, the hottest most awesome being in the universe! Bow down to him you ingrates!" my lovely vision was disturbed by a finger prodding at my side
I turned to glare at Uzumaki when instead I found a group of people busy staring at me. The one who prodded me, a middle aged looking blonde man took a step back before sighing in relief
"Whew thank goodness you're ok, you looked a bit out of it for a while there busy smiling at the sky. So who are you? I've never seen you here before." I turned to find Uzumaki who mouthed 'Daisuke' to me and I turned back to the man
"Pa- I mean sorry man my name is Daisuke Uchi...masu, Daisuke Uchimasu and I am just passing by with my mentor Tatsuya Uzuchida. Sorry for the scare dude." I said while trying to make my voice as scratchy as possible. The man smiled before Uzumaki finally came up to me.
"Daisuke, how many times do I have to tell you. Manners boy manners." he sighed as he slowly shook his head and turned to the crowd
"I am Tatsuya Uzuchida, Daisuke's mentor. Do any of you know a nice place to eat, we're starving!" that seemed to shake everyone awake again. Both Uzumaki and I smiled at them and the ladies swooned, most of the teenage population already taking out their cell phones and cameras.
"So are you guys famous?"
"Daisuke kun! Do you have a girlfriend?"
"Tatsuya san what about you?"
"I bet he's married!"
"Don't say stuff like that you moron!"
"Yeah, we all know that if he's married then its to me!"
"Which one?"
"Both."
"No way! I pick Daisuke, look at that smirk, its simply screaming for me!"
"Tatsuya is mine!"
"He's too old for you, didn't you hear? He's a mentor!"
"So what he looks about 28years old, perfect age for me."
"YOU'RE FIFTEEN!"
My eyes widened while Uzumaki laughed uneasily. A member of the older population of the group then motioned for us to follow her into a nice looking restaurant.
"What would you like?"
"A tomato sandwich and some tea."
"Miso Ramen with coffee please?"
"Please have a seat and I will bring you the food shortly ." she said and then hurried towards what looked to be the kitchen.
"So Suya sensei, where we goin after this place?" I asked in my new teen Uzumaki voice and he raised an eyebrow. I sighed and casually pointed behind me and he got the message clearly.
"Well Daisuke kun I believe we need to find a place with a beach next so you can practice your surfing, after all the tournament is coming soon." he said in a mock professional voice as the waitress came back with our orders.
"Damn sensei, you're a really uptight guy. I know! First I gotta get you laid, i'm sure some poor woman won't mind." I smirked as Uzumaki choked on his coffee.
"Well that wouldn't be fair to my wife right?" my eyes widened but my response was cut of by a loud squealing
"OMIGOSH! He's married!"
"...told ya."
"No you didn't!"
"Man this sucks, now what?"
"Well at least we still have Daisuke...unless"
"Dont. Even. Say. It"
"You don't think."
"No but it is a possibility."
"The physical evidence votes against it."
"Yeah, there is no chemistry there."
"But it is possible that.."
"Oh yeah maybe it is, but that would have to mean that..."
"Oh"
"..my"
"..GACKT!"
" they totally are!"
"Ew, but he's married!"
"Forbidden love ladies, its real yo!"
Both me and Uzumaki had the same shocked look on our faces and I decided to fix this before it blows our cover.
"Ladies ladies, please stop trying to traumatize me and Suya sensei. Although would you like to show me around town? I'm getting bored already." the girls nodded and I turned to Uzumaki and whispered
"Go talk to the older people, I will stick with the teens." he nodded and I turned back to the girls and allowed them to drag me out of the restaurant.
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I sighed in relief as I finally sat down, man these women can walk. They had already showed me most of the town in just under 30 minutes and we were now resting under a huge tree near the ice-cream shop.
"So ladies, is this the end of my tour?"
"Yeah, every other place is Bazuka's territory." I raised my eyebrow in question at that
" bazuka is this huge gang, ranked number 15 on the billboard, they are very dangerous and all."
"Yeah especially their leader, Brother Wan. I heard that he cuts people up for fun."
"No way! I heard that they killed 500 people already, just to get a status."
"Yep, my brother told me that you have to bring three decapitated heads to join the gang."
"For real? Where is he now?"
"They killed him."
"oh, sorry darling."
"Its ok, I would have killed him if they didn't" I cleared my throat to get their attention before speaking
"So this gang is very dangerous and feared correct?" they nodded
"And they terrorize this town correct?" they nodded again
"So are all of the members currently here?" the girls nodded slowly in suspicion and I realized that I needed to correct my statement first.
"So do any of you know of any safe places to leave Suya sensei's car?" their eyes widened in understanding before they all nodded
" there is this place we keep our valuables each night, especially tonight."
"The boss is coming al hell will break loose, again."
"Quite frankly i'm tired of this."
"Yeah but I heard the boss is a real hottie."
"Too bad he's in a gang."
"All the hot ones are gone, shame"
"Yeah." just then my phone rang and I answered in
"Hello?"
"Uchiha get here now, i'm back at the shop"
I got up and so the ladies stopped their conversation about the hotness of the Bazuka boss.
"Well ladies I have to go now the sun is setting and I still need to do some stuff so later." they awwed and waved goodbye before continuing their conversation.
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"Finally! Where were you?" Uzumaki screamed as I walked in the shop and locked the door behind me.
"Getting information on this town and the gang." he sighed before sitting down
"Great, what I gathered was that the Bazuka is a notorious gang with about 25 known members, tonight is their monthly meeting night so everyone is headed to an airtight hall to stock all of their cars since they cant be outside and a garage is too risky." I nodded before adding my information
"I heard pretty much the same, also the leader of the gang is a real hottie." Uzumaki stared at he before bursting out laughing.
"Hahahahahah, yeah real useful info there Uchiha hahahahahahah!" I scowled before punching in in the gut, effectively shutting him up.
"Well then, lets gear up." we went to the room where we left our guns to find a case with a note on it
Make sure you kill them all
Next time we meet, you will pay us back
T.H.G.N.T.S (1)
I opened the case to find guns, gas-masks, teargas, bulletproof vests, rope, a few daggers and a nice Katana blade. I smirked as I picked it up and unseathed it. The blade was perfectly cut and sharp.
"Its mine." I growled and Uzumaki shrugged
"Sure I'm more of a firearm guy anyway." I nodded before glancing at everything else in the box as Uzumaki picked up a gun.
"Rasengan." he whispered and I gave him a questioning look. He sighed
"This gun, its an S&W 500 magnum. One of the most lethal handguns in existence." he said as he softly caressed the gun while gazing at it in awe. I snorted
"I know that moron, I was asking about the Rasenin comment or whatever it is." Uzumaki growled
"Its Rasengan you twit and its my guns new name!" I silently mouthed 'twit' to myself before shaking my head in defeat.
"Sure whatever" I then went and picked out a 50 caliber Desert Eagle and twisted it.
"Hn, pick a weapon...another one moron." Uzumaki rolled his eyes before shoving half his body in the box.
I turned to my new gun, it was a pretty cool one and unlike Uzumaki's revolver mine was sleek and straight. I slowly felt the exterior in a similar fashion to Uzumaki. Perfect, just like my sword this gun was something I wouldn't mind keeping forever. The effort that went into making this must have been extrao-"
"AHA I FOUND YOU!" I almost dropped my gun in shock as my eyes widened before narrowing dangerously. Sadly the object of my anger was too busy ogling what looked like a mix between a dagger and an ancient kunai knife. I have to admit it was a rather nice knife, with a leather handle and a three dimensional blade.
"And I will call you Ramen!" it took almost all my willpower not to facepalm at that.
"Are you crazy? What kind of a name is that?" I asked and Uzumaki glared at me
"Well at least its a name, what do you call yours? Oh wait I know...Sword and Gun right?"
"Still better than Ramen." I mean seriously, who names such a lethal deadly weapon after noodles?
"Well fine, if you can name your weapons then I will change Ramen's name." ...and be like 'I will stab you with Ramen!' that doesn't even sound threatening, even a freaking three year old could...wait, name my weapons? I turned to look at Uzumaki who was in the middle of lighting a cigarette.
"Fine, how about Sas and 'ke?" Uzumaki gaped at me in shock
"And you think that is better than Ramen? Common Uchiha give it depth, something cool yet meaningful geez!" meaningful huh? I thought for a few minutes before coming up with names.
"...Sharingan and Chidori." I mumbled and Uzumaki grinned
"That's more like it! Fine how about Kage?" I nodded in approval before Uzumaki screamed and before I could knock him back to the real world he shakily pointed out to the window."
"Uchiha look at that?" I growled in annoyance
"There is nothing outside except for the moon and streetlights moron!" wait...moon...streetlights.
"Shit!" I yelled as I hurriedly put on a bulletproof vest and grabbed Chidori and Sharingan while Uzumaki did the same. The time had finally come, tonight is the night. The night that a gang will fall, people will die and our names will be tattooed into the minds of everyone.
To be continued...
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Z/N: and that is where it ends for now. Remember constructive criticism is always welcome, flaming is not.
Thanks to everyone who follows this story and to my only reviewer so far Shadow the dragonslayer, thank you sooo much! Bonnie and Clyde huh?
(1) T.H.G.N.T.S is Tayuya. Hinata. Gaara. Neji. Temari. Sai