This one was purely by mistake
His life was not mine to take
At least he learned something tonight
Never interrupt when lovers fight
"Finally!"
"You really have no patience do you child?"
"No at all sir!"
[{BEGIN FLASHBACK}]
I woke up to the sound of the shower running again and I sighed, remembering what happened yesterday. Looks like I'm now dating the idiot...just when I thought this couldn't get any more complicated.
I opened the bathroom door and Uzumaki screamed. Well that made me happier.
"What the hell Uchiha? Don't you know how to respect other peoples privacy?" I smirked
"First of all I can't see anything in that steam plus i've seen it all before and secondly I need to brush my teeth." he grunted something incoherent before returning to his shower an I resumed my task as well.
"Hey Uchiha, what do we do today?"
"Beatsh me, we could check ou ge resht of the town and hopefully find a weapons shop. I need more bulletsh and shome oil for my gun."
"Oh yeah, I should also stock up on some cigarettes and maybe a cigar or 12." I spat out the toothpaste and poured some water into the glass I brought with me
"Is that all you ever think about?"
"Is that a problem?"
"No now get out of the shower before I make you." He growled but stepped out of the shower. I handed him a towel and he left the room leaving me to finally get some peace and quiet.
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"Why do you keep wearing my clothes?" he shrugged
"Just keeping up with my image that's all. No way I'd ever wear this ridiculous outfit on my own free will, no thank you"
"Well then take em off Uzumaki, we can switch roles." because I simply will not wear those sorry excuses for sneakers for another minute. I mean seriously when last did those shoes get washed. Disgusting
"Hey they are my shoes and I choose to keep them this way princess." I turned to stare at him, my eyes wide open
"You were staring at my shoes like they were the owners of Konoha Times." which reminds me, I should check if they have removed that insulting photo of me yet. " and chicks dig guys with dirty sneakers." I slowly shook my head before moving to get dressed.
"...you are an idiot."
"And you are dating this idiot, what does that say about you?" I smirked
"That I am actually capable of pity."
"Haha very funny Uchiha"
"I know."
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"Hey look a fair!" I turned to where uzumaki was pointing to see...a fair.
"Let me guess, you want to go there don't you?" I said but my words fell on deaf ears as Uzumaki was already power walking towards to entrance gate. Sometimes Uzumaki reminded me of someone I used to know, I think his name was luffy(1) or something like that. Oh well.
I finally caught up to Uzumaki inside the entrance and we walked towards the game section. It was a rather impressive setup with games for all ages and prizes of all shapes and sizes. I turned to stare at a shooting game in which you had to shoot a bunch of moving ducks. There was a man about my age who was loading the bullets into the rifle, a woman who I presumed was his girlfriend was standing behind him and cheering him on. He aimed and simultaneously shot at all the ducks...and missed all but one.
He then chose a small stuffed rabbit from the bottom shelf and gave it to her, she smiled and kissed him on the cheek before they both walked away. The sight was, dare I say it..sweet.
"Hey pumpkin bear you want me to win you a stuffed animal too?" and the moron just had to run the moment
"Screw you."
"I'll take that as a yes, don't worry I will get you one from the top shelf believe it!" some people turned to stare at us and my eye twitched
"Never ever say that phrase again you me?"
"Never say what, believe it?" I growled
"..."
"Ok! Hey you let me have a go at that." he said as he slammed some money onto the stalls counter. The man behind it took the money and sneered at him
"Great another show-off, you probably won't even hit one of the ducks." my eye twitched some more and my hand curled into a fist while Uzumaki glared at the man
"Hey buddy you wanna start sumthi-Hey!" I grabbed the rifle and pushed him out of the way.
"You move out of my way or I will shoot through you." the man gulped and scrambled away to start the machine. I quickly loaded the bullets in and counted to three, one..two..three. All the ducks were down in less that 5 seconds and I was feeling less homocidal.
I picked a red and black stuffed snake and handed it to Uzumaki who flipped the man off before following me.
"Thanks for the gift sugar plum believe it!"
"I will kill you in your sleep."
"Sheesh what's up with you today" I sighed
"I just don't like fairs."
"Why not? Don't tell me you're claustrophobic because I know that's not true." what the? When did he figure tha-oh the Bazuka town.
"No moron, when I was about your mental age I got lost while I was with my family..And I was only found when the fair closed." well that sums it up
"I am going to ignore the fact that you just insulted my mentality rate and why do I feel like you're hiding something from me?" probably because I am but he does not have to know that
"Hn whether I am hiding something from you or not is none of your business love now try not to give me a reason to go back to the hotel and grab my katana blade." I said careful not to speak to loudly.
"Wait...you mean you don't have it with you? I mean I have both of mine" I scowled
"idiot how on earth am I supposed to carry around a sword in public?" he shrugged
"I don't know, just stuff it down your pants or something." I looked up at the sky and silently prayed that I will not be overcome by the urge to murder the man next to me. After I finished my silent prayer I finally realised that we had stopped in front the food section of the fair. I turned to see Uzumaki already seated in one of the tables and went to join him.
"You do realise that you actually have to get up and go buy the food right?" I asked just out of pure curiosity and he sighed
"I really don't know what to eat I mean i've already scouted out the place and there are absolutely no ramen stands, none!" he exclaimed and I couldn't help but chuckle lightly at his antics
"You know there are other food that are not ramen right?" he groaned and slammed his head onto the table
"I know but ramen dude, ramen!" I slowly shook my head
"When last did you smoke?"
"Last night at the restaurant, why?" I got up from my spot and started walking towards the food stands
"I am going to go get us something to eat so you have about 7 minutes, use them wisely." he smiled and shoved an unlit cigarette in his mouth
"Later princess."
"Sure moron." and as I walked away I couldn't help but smile
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"That will be 4500 yen sir." my eyes widened
"What 4500 for just two bento boxes? What are they made of gold or something?" the man behind the counter fixed his name tag and glared at me.
"Well if its too expensive then go buy somewhere else!" I glared back
"Gladly." but as I walked away I heard a very unsettling thing being said to the back of my head
"Filthy pale ass gay prostitute" my eyes widened slightly in astonishment and anger. Now I do not mind the pale ass comment because believe it or not many people who weren't fangirls called me that in elementary school and its not like I avoid the sun and put on ridiculous amounts of sunscreen each day. The other comment though...
"..what did you just call me?" the man folded his arms and smirked
"You heard me." I scowled before smirking as well, time for my favourite hobby of all time..messing with people's minds
"Oh and what makes you think that I am a prostitute and a gay one in fact?" the man's smirk widened
"Well its simple, your hair is baby blue and no real man would ever dye their hair blue. Secondly you look like a very high maintenance young man but I have never seen you anywhere in the local media industry so you must either be a prostitute or a call boy." I nodded in understanding and he sneered
"First of all this is not my real hair, its a wig I am currently wearing because of a bet I lost so that rules out your gay evidence. Secondly you say that you have never seen me in the local media industry but has it occurred to you that may be a tourist? Which I am by the way. Thirdly you should stop insulting random people whom you don't know while you can't even own a restaurant loser." I watched as the man turned red then purple in sheer anger. Checkmate.
"You bastard son a bitch-"
"I assure you that my parents were married and my mother was a human being thank you very much chi-chi"
"Its Chichou you imbecile!"
"So? Am I supposed to care?" I swear I saw the vain on his forehead pop from pulsing to much.
"Go back to the hole you came from boy!"
"I'm afraid I can't , my mother is currently...unreachable." the man gaped and for a moment I thought he was suffering from a heart attack
"Hey chi-chi are you still alive?"
"..."
"Um hello?"
"..."
"Chi-chi?"
"..." I then decided to take matters into my own hands and started slapping him lightly
"Hey!" slap
"Old man." slap
"Chi-chi" slap
"Wake up!" punch
"Hn forget this i'm outta here, peace." I turned to walk away when
"YOU SICK, SICK YOUNG MAN! I AM GOING TO CHOP YOU INTO A MILLION PIECES!" He screamed and I turned to look at him and wished I hadn't. I really need to learn the meaning of the word 'slapping lightly'. Said mans face was now swollen to the size of a small watermelon and he was now sporting a bloody nose.
"Hey now chi-chi look i'm really-"
"ITS CHICHOU! CHICHOU! CAN'T YOU READ?!"
"Whatever chi-chi anyway I was just saying shit!" I hissed as I dodged a butcher knife that was thrown at me. I contemplated pulling out my gun and putting a hole in him for that little stunt but one look at his face due to my artwork and I decided that the poor guy had it tough already. So with as much dignity as I could muster I sprinted towards Uzumaki, the man and what I presume was the fair security chasing me. I grabbed his hand and carried on towards the fair exit, Chi-chi and his friends hot on our heels.
"Why did you do that?"
"Do what?"
"Why'd you hit the poor guy so hard?"
"...he was annoying but at least I didn't kill him for throwing a stupid knife at me."
"Ah touché, turn left now." I complied and we ran into what looked like a giant maze.
"Ok go right now..left...left...right, no my right!...if we keep going straight we should reach the exit soon" and as if on cue the exit gates of the fair appeared and we ran right past them and continued running for about 10 minutes before stopping.
"Heh, that was fun right princess?"
"...moron, aren't you hungry?."
"Oh yeah! Hey look a ramen stand." I sighed and followed him into the small restaurant for once not complaining about anything until.
"Hey Uzumaki, where is that prize I won at the fair?"
"Hmm? Oh I sold it to this guy for 400 yen."
"Where's the money?"
"In my pocket."
"...we still need to restock on some stuff for the road tomorrow."
"Oh yeah but i'm tired and I still want to go to the club so let's do it tomorrow morning." he said as he paid for the meal and we headed back to the hotel
"Hn you still want to go to that stupid club."
"Yep and you are coming with me."
"No I am not."
"I can always go back to the fair, i'm sure that guy you beat up would love to know where you are staying."
"And what makes you think I won't just shoot him?
"Because you know that if you were that man you would have done the same thing, except for the screaming part."
"..."
"I will take that as a yes. Now lighten up its going to be fun"
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This is not fun. I am currently sitting at the bar of club BG while Uzumaki is busy dancing with some brunette woman.
"Hey man, refill?" the bartender asks and I turn around to see a very familiar face.
"Mini me?" the man blinks before his eyes widen and he puts on that oh so famous fake smile
"Oh its you prissy one! Where is dumb blonde?" my eye twitched before I glared at him
"Shouldn't you be with Tayuya and friends?" he smiled again before pouring me another glass of whiskey
"They went to little Reds uncle's funeral funeral and I wasn't invited, can you believe that?" I stared at him blankly
"Wow they didn't invite you to a funeral? How is that possible?"
"I know right!?"
"I was being sarcastic."
"I wasn't"
"Die."
"Not yet so where is dumb blonde?" I motioned towards the dance floor without looking
"The redhead dancing with that brunette girl in the green dress."
"Well I see the girl but I don't see any redhead guys unless he's cross-dressing?" I quickly turned towards the dance floor and saw the brunette girl being pulled by this other guy.
"Hey mini me, be right back. Don't go anywhere." he smiled
"Of course prissy one." I shook my head before rushing upstairs where I caught a glimpse of the girl and followed them until they entered through a set of double doors, I felt for my gun and walked in after them, hiding behind some plants. What I saw would stay in my memory for a whole week
Uzumaki was sitting on a black leather couch along with the brunette girl, across them was a blonde men in a white suit who was surrounded by bodyguards. There were a couple other people in the room but that is not what nearly traumatised me. I looked up and had to stop myself from gasping, there on the ceiling of the room was a glass container with the largest spider I have ever seen in my life, it was about 3 meters in height and 2 meters wide and judging by the design on its back I was pretty sure it was the infamous black widow spider...that had been exposed to radioactive waste.
"So mister-" the the man started but Uzumaki held up his hand.
"Please just call me Karin, now why have you brought me here?" the man snorted before hardening his gaze at Uzumaki, I reached for my gun.
"Mr Karin are you aware that you have been dancing with one of my wives? Now I will assume that you had more...intimate intentions with her so I have brought you here to collect my payment." Uzumaki chuckled
"Well first of all mister?"
"Sheen"
"Yes mister Sheen I am aware that I was dancing with this woman but sadly I am already in a relationship, with a man I might add." Mr Sheens eyes widened and he coughed for a while before returning his gaze to Uzumaki
"And how do I know that you are not just making this up, you don't look gay therefore I must conclude that even if you are in a relationship its either with a transvestite or a woman, am I not correct mister Karin?"
"Well he-"
"I am sorry to interrupt this meeting but I do not appreciate being called either of those." there were several yelps and shrieks of surprise and one comment of 'took ya long enough Hinata' as the bodyguards pulled out their guns I pointed mine to the glass container. I used my other hand to cover up my yawn
"Alright you know the drill, drop your weapons or I will shoot at your bug." Mr Sheen smirked
"Very well drop your weapons boys and sir you do realise that if that spider gets free we will all die right." I shrugged
"Correction, you will all die. I on the other hand am immune to any type of natural poison so really I have nothing to lose." Uzumaki glared
"Thanks a lot honey. I feel so loved" I turned to stare at him and he winked...oh
"You're welcome darling."
"Ahem"
" I mean really? Did you just come all the way here just to insult me sugarplum?"
"As a matter of fact I did sweetheart."
"Ahem."
"You know what I don't need your stupid help so go back to the club babe."
"I would if I could but I am currently too busy saving your incompetent ass as usual love."
"AHEM!"
"Oh and exactly when did I ever ask for your help Candy bear?"
"You know what screw this, time to die sweetness"
"AHEM!"
"WOULD YOU STOP IT WITH THE AHEM'S ALREADY!" BAM! And that was the end of Mr Sheen. we both the shot of the remaining body guards which was actually very easy since most of them did not even know how to fire the damn thing and turned towards everyone else.
"If you value your life you will not call anyone or say anything okay?" Uzumaki said as I shot at the surveillance camera before we both left the room,heads held high.
"Hey Uchiha?"
"Hmm?"
"We need a theme song."
"...I know."
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"Ah prissy one and dumb blonde you should get out of here, someone called the police and there are plenty of people who saw you guys heading up those stairs." we both decided to ignore the nicknames in favour of getting out of the club
"Hn good job mini me."
"Likewise prissy one."
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"So I guess we should pack, where to next?"
"London."
"Oh cool...wait what?"
"I'm tired of wearing disguises all the time."
"Well I guess so, hey Uchiha!" I turned only for him to mash his lips onto mine. I was stunned for a second before I gradually began responding to the kiss, I gently swiped my tongue against his lips as he slowly opened them and my tongue explored the inner cavern of his mouth, the ever so present taste of smoke, mouthwash and a hint of miso ramen and while my mouth was busy my hands quickly began unbuttoning his shirt as he did the same to me and as we separated for air while now on my bed Uzumaki re attached his mouth onto my neck and began sucking on the pulse and an involuntary moan escaped my mouth. I growled and flipped us over so that I was on top and I slowly began rocking back and fourth onto his lap, our clothed erections rubbing sensually against each other and by now the only sounds that were coming from the room were a pair of moans and the slight creaking of the bed. I then attached my lips onto his neck while my hands worked on undoing his pants...
[{END FLASHBACK]
"Wait so like you really didn't know who it was?" Kiba asked astonished. Sasuke nodded
"Yes so imagine the shock we wake up to when we realise who we had just killed."
"Must have been hectic."
"Oh no child, just one more reason to hop onto the earliest plane to London."
"But even in London you guys just couldn't stay out of trouble." Sasuke laughed softly
"I guess."
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Z/N: woohoo! I actually kept my promise (sort of) hopefully I have stayed true to my rating which is T, if anyone thinks the scene at the end might have not been T rated then please say so but I will not stand for any type of flaming! Don't like Don't read! Anyway thanks and see ya'll next monday
(1) hehe One Piece