Don't Let Me Down
Disclaimer: This is a Harry Potter-based fanfiction and JK Rowling owns it all.
Chapter 5
"Lils, what are you avoiding? This is not about how you hate Hogsmeade. Let's skip the chit chat."
I was afraid of Angry-Lily coming back, but she didn't. She just inhealed deeply and stared me.
"This is awkward. I wasn't prepared for this."
"I really can't get you here." And I was being honest.
"You told me I am ignoring you. You are the one avoiding me! I am pissed off, Lysander! We're turning to fuck-buddies and I am supposed to be okay with that? What if I don't?"
"Well, I will let the fuck part for later. I am keeping it in mind for sure." She rolled her eyes. I just kept talking. "Where did this fuck-buddies fucking idea come from? If you need to hear it out loud: I don't like the idea of us being fuck-buddies. I haven't even cosidered it. So, I don't want us to become fuck-buddies. You don't have to be okay with it, because that's not gonna happen."
"Are you saying... I'm not worth it?" Angry-Lily coming back. "You don't want do make out with me because I am a bad kisser or something?"
"No, Lily. Because I love you!" I yelled at her.
Her face was... scared? The silence had taken place and we looked at each other for what seemed to be a long time. Probably they were just seconds, but it felt like an entire hour.
I broke the silence. "Hmm, I was supposed to be more romantic. I am so fucked up, Lily. I guess you don't feel the same. But that's it. I love you. I can't be your fuck-buddy or something. Now I think I won't be able to be your friend at all. It is killing me to see you with other guys and I being your backup plan."
"You are not my backup plan. You never were." She replied.
"Okay. Just tell me. You've made a mistake. We can be friends, but nothing else. I shouldn't even get my hopes up in the first place. Lorcan, my idiot brother is right. You and I, that's never gonna work. Where was my head when I got the stupid idea of kissing you?"
"Stop it, Lysander. Right now."
"Because..."
"You idiot. This is a conversation between the TWO of us. And all you've done since we got here was making assumptions out of nowhere. You wanna know what I think, just ask me. Do not answer your own questions for me." Bossy-Lily. I loved Bossy-Lily since we were three years old and made big plans to get those brooms for us to fly without permission. She caught me laughing, but didn't ask anything about it.
"So, fresh start here, okay? I know you boys hate this kind of conversation." She was the younger and only daughter. And she was smart enough to figure out some men-stuff. She just continued. "Yes, there is no relationship yet, we don't even know if there will be any. But yes, we are discussing it anyway. You can call this non-relationship whatever you want. But definitely, I am not leaving here with more questions and no answers." I nodded. Bossy-Lily didn't like to be interrupted.
"First of all... There are lots of people who shouldn't even be questioning our 'non-relationship' or whatever is going on between us. Lorcan... Does he get any opinion? Your brother is a manwhore. I pray every day for you not to be like him. Even though you are twins, I hope."
"No, Lils. I am not like Lorcan. I don't even want to be like him when it comes to women. You should know that by now." I couldn't hide my disappointment. I said I loved her and she starts to talk about my brother. Yeah, I thought I was prepared to get a "no" from her when I planned to tell her I loved her. But I couldn't help myself out.
"You did not answer my question. Why does he get an opinion about us?"
"Well, he's my twin brother. I didn't tell him about that Sunday we got drunk and... you know. But he is smart enough to get the awkwardness that came later. Then, after the second time it happened, he came to ask me what the hell was going on. He had already said he was suspicious about me having a 'thing' for you a long time ago. We can tell this kind of thing about each other with no words. So, I told Lorcan what happened and he gave me a warn. You couldn't fancy me as much as I fancy you. You had just broken up with another guy. He was trying to... you know... He was just trying to be a good brother, once in a while. He was saying that I should not get any hopes up or big feelings about you. Guess what? He was right and I am here making a fool of myself in front of you."
"Lysander, what did I say about you answering your questions for me when I am in front of you and you can just ask?!"
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N/A: Did you like it? Let me know. Kisses.