JD POV
Dr. Cox complimented me on my ass. Today was going to be a good day. Finally, someone appreciated my firm mutton as much as I did. He appreciated it so much he appreciated it over and over last night and now I can't walk right. Worth it! I leaned over the Nurses' station, greeting Carla. "Bambi…you're glowing. What has you so sunny this morning? And why are you walking like you have a stick up your ass?" she prompted, standing close to me. I blushed, leaning away. It was still so heavily in my mind that I couldn't talk about it yet. I mean, I still hadn't washed my hand, which was still warm and wet from the contact.
"N-nothing. Nothing out of the ordinary happened at all, Carla," I insisted. I walked over to the sink and began washing my hands and returned to where I was standing. Suddenly, I was joined by Dr. Cox, whose arms were crossed as he stared at Carla. "Is that so, Newbie? I didn't realize sleeping with me was an ordinary occurrence for you, hot stuff," he said. My heart froze and I turned to him in shock. Carla and everyone within hearing distance either stopped what they were doing to look at us or continued doing their task, but very distractedly. Turk had apparently walked in on the comment before I even noticed he was there. "Whoa, dude, is that some kind of sick joke? Because that's going way too far," Turk said, sticking his hands out. I fiddled with my hands before feeling Dr. Cox grab one of them and intertwine his fingers. "It…is not…a joke, Gandhi. Let me be very clear with you all," he began, catching the eyes of the Todd, the Janitor, and some of the surgical meatheads who happened to be nearby.
"If I catch any of you…picking on Newbie, teasing him or even making some gay joke you think is so funny to make yourself more comfortable, I will personally see to it that you will know how it feels to have something so deeply embedded in your ass that you will become wheelchair bound. My foot up all of your asses. It won't be pretty folks, so buckle up and shut up. I do have the influence to get your sorry asses fired so think twice before you open your pigeonholes for mouths," Dr. Cox warned, pulling my hand as we walked off together. Everyone stayed silent, frozen in shock, at least until we had gone out of hearing range.
"Dr. Cox…?" I piped up after briskly walking through the corridors with our hands together for everyone to gawk at. He didn't respond, just stopped abruptly when we arrived at his patients' room. Before stepping inside, he looked at me softly, causing my heart to hit my ribcage. "This isn't going to be easy, kid," he said. I had a feeling he wasn't just talking about our relationship becoming public. Holy cow. I'm in a relationship with Dr. Cox! Ahhhhhhh! As I screamed internally, I met his patient, Ian Layman, who looked lifeless. Concern replaced all of the other emotions I was having as he extended his hand out to shake mine. He didn't say anything. "I'm Dr. Dorian. What brings you—" Dr. Cox placed the clipboard in my hands before I could finish, interrupting my sentence to speak to him, "Look, this world is a fucked up place. But you gotta hang in there. Everyone knows people are bastards with bastard filling, but kid, you've gotta plug yourself up. People who wanna tell you how to live your life don't know how to control their own. I know it can be a lot sometimes…but you gotta remember what matters," he said.
The papers read that Ian had tried to kill himself by an overdose. God, I'm so distracted I couldn't tell that's what was going on? His lips were blackened and all of the others signs were waving red flags in my face suddenly. Ian didn't respond, he just stared solemnly at his blanket. "Ian," Dr. Cox prompted, surprising us both when he grabbed my hand to hold again. Panic washed through me and I tried to snatch my hand away but he only held it tighter. Ian's face had turned into a scowl as he eyed us. "It's not-he's just trying to prove a point, Ian. I'm not gay," I defended myself, feeling Perry's eyes flicker from him to me angrily. "Newbie," he snapped, face flaring.
I moved my mouth but the words didn't come out. "It's nawwwttt a bad thing to be furiously attracted to a handsome stud of a doctor because he has the same sexual organs as you. And if you hadn't noticed, I'm allowing us to be a teaaaaaam, which I know you constantly fantasize about in that fluffy little airhead of yours," Dr. Cox said to me, still holding my hand. I turned to the boy sitting in his bed, eyes flickering with sadness. He was trying not to cry. He's not going to judge me…what's wrong with me? Also...Dr. Cox was right! He was teaming us up! We're equals now! As I squealed internally with excitement from my last thought, I smiled wistfully and then quickly turned solemn to match the mood.
Dr. Cox could see what he said had worked, dropped my hand and sat on the bed with Ian. "How am I supposed to live with the constant threat of harassment, abandonment, disapproval, and abuse just because of who I am? I've tried to change because it's physically and mentally dangerous. I know there's nothing wrong with being gay. Millions of species are gay. I'm not an idiot. I'm just fucking tired," Ian said, staring at the wall ahead of him. My heart sank, as did my eyes. Dr. Cox seemed very sad in that moment. We all were. But Ian…it had made him tired of living.
I decided to sit down next to Dr. Cox on his bed. "I uh…can't pretend to know what you're going through, Ian. I mean, I've had feelings for Dr. Cox since I've met him but I didn't accept them until, well, last night," I confessed, looking down at my hands. Dr. Cox was looking down at the hands I was fiddling with, suppressing a smile. It encouraged me to keep going. "But I will tell you this. Any dirty looks we receive, anybody who abandons us because of who we love, well…they're not worth our time anyway. As for abuse and harassment…unfortunately, being gay can incite that but being an annoying child, being a woman walking down the street, voicing your favorite football team, any of those can incite violence. You can't let the fear of violence keep you from walking out of your front door in the morning, man. Find the people who will love you unconditionally and ignore the ones who don't," I finished, studying Ian's worried expressions. "Yeah well, what hurts the most is when the people who are supposed to love you unconditionally want to hurt you and leave you on the street to die," Ian said simply, still lifelessly staring at the wall.