Dr. Cox POV
I swung another glass down my scratchy throat, wincing at the tenderness. Damn fluffy Newbie probably got me sick. I set the empty glass down and set my hands over my face. When I closed my eyes, I got the spins. I opened my eyes and decided to fixate my eyes on the glass. I can't see him anymore…not like that. I can't do that to him. Someone knocked on my door. I stumbled toward the front door, hoping it was Newbie. I punished myself for the thought.
It was Gandhi.
"Hey, Dr. Cox," he said simply. I scowled, clutching the doorframe to keep my balance. "Uh-huh," I said, prompting him to get to the point. The bald tubbo-no-longer shifted uncomfortably. "Can I come in? I need to talk to you about JD," he explained. I forced a laugh. I could tell by his expression he could tell how drunk I was. "Nooooo, you may not come in, Gandhi. Please tell me you're not here to fight Carmen's battles for her," I nearly stuttered, slurring my words. "Look, man, JD told me what happened and right after it happened, you decide to ignore him for the whole day. I know it's just the day after but I came to stop you in your tracks. He deserves to know what's going on. You're going to drive him crazy," Gandhi said. "Well first of all, Turla, what's going on between me and Newbie is nooooone of your business, mmkay? And secondly, what do you know about what's good for him, huh?" I glared at him through hazy eyes.
"Dr. Cox, he's my best friend. So yeah, I know what's good for him. You need to talk to him," he scoffed. "Haven't I done enough?!" I snapped. That shut him up. I regained my posture, slowly beginning to shut the door on him. He held his hand out to stop my action. "You may think you're protecting JD from getting hurt, but that's what you're doing right now, dude!" he snapped back. I managed to close the door despite his efforts and shut it behind me.
I slid against the door, holding my head in my hands. I could hear Gandhi pouting and walk off, muttering to himself. The scotch lead my head to imaginary visions of Newbie and I walking down the street together. I leave his side for only a moment when Newbie starts getting shoved and assaulted by passerby. I cringed, thinking of the idea of his self worth dwindling because of me, as he could eventually spiral down into a depression no one could pull him out of. All because I couldn't keep my hands to myself. I managed to get up and find my way to the couch, where I flung myself onto.
Megan wouldn't be able to handle the consequences of being with me, let alone just being with me. I slammed my eyes close, thinking of Newbie getting offended over every little thing I'd do or didn't do, with the consequence of constant fighting. Although he does seem to bounce back and reads into my actions for what they are….But the thought of him being with me caused every cell of my emotionally repressed self shudder in pain. I'd bring him more pain than I already do. A goddamn lump developed in my throat as I was very intoxicated and Newbie's stupid face wouldn't get out of my brain.
I have to give him credit though…the kid has a big heart. I thought of all the times when he cheered me on, talked proudly of me, offered support, did what he thought was right despite what I thought, which influenced me and mostly the fact that no matter what I say to JD, for some odd reason, he'll love me and be there for me anyway. Tears rolled from my squeezed eyes, as the liquor threatened to make an appearance. Once I had begun over-thinking, I couldn't stop. He seriously drives me insane.
I was already dehydrated, but the water I was losing over some other man, half my age and the complete polar opposite of me in every way, certainly did nawt help. I retrieved tissues, feeling like the ashamed wimp I was, and landed back on the couch. I blurrily looked for my glass, sniffing as I dribbled the amber liquid out of the bottle. Still, the thought of not having JD around wrecked my head, drilling the bullets down my drunken flushed cheeks. I don't want to lose that kid. It's not like Gandhi doesn't have a point, but leaving him be would still doing the least amount of damage I can do after everything I've already started. Luckily, sleep claimed me quickly after I took one last swig of scotch.
JD POV
I panted outside of Dr. Cox's door, waiting to knock so I could catch my breath first. Nervousness overwhelmed me as I lifted my fist to knock. What if Turk is still there? I wondered and decided to knock anyway. Nothing. I panicked, thinking he may just leave me there knocking all night because he might still be ignoring me. I shook the thought from my mind and knocked again. Still nothing. "Dr. Cox!" I called through the wood. I jiggled the door handle, to find it unlocked. I edged into his apartment slowly, staring at the sight on the couch. I stood in his doorway, feeling the blood drain from my face as my heart nearly stopped. Dr. Cox was hanging on the couch with an empty bottle of scotch lying on the table and a few tissues crowded around. I found the courage to walk toward my hunky sad mentor, staring at his buried face. "Dr. Cox?" I bent down and put my hand on his incredibly warm shoulder. I could smell the scotch on him, but his naturally good scent wafted in the air more. He didn't budge. Oh, god! He just drunk himself to death! Worriedly I shook him, "Dr. Cox!"
His eyes inched open as he lifted his face out of the cushion to look at me. "Newbie, no. I'm not going to sweep you off your feet and carry you into school," he mumbled, clearly very drunk. I just kept looking at him, noticing how puffy and red his eyes were. Had he been crying? He pushed himself up as I knelt before him. He sat upright as I began standing. "Look, kid, this isn't working out," he said flatly, almost stumbling as he stood to meet me eye to eye. What got into him?! I glowered at him, trying not to show how upset I was.
"Why are you doing this?" I tried to ask angrily, but it just came out in a pleading voice instead. Dr. Cox looked down and peered up at me. The whites in his eyes were more like the reds in his eyes. "Were you crying?" I said above a whisper, stepping in closer to him. "How does you got me sick grab ya?" he slurred at me. He almost fell over just standing there, and I reached out to catch him, grabbing his shoulders. Dr. Cox put his hands on my forearms and brought my hands down. "What have I told you about my nooo touching policy?" he stammered, trying his darnest to glare at me. "Well you sure have done a lot of violating your own policy, Perry!" I exclaimed. He glared harder, which I didn't know was possible.
"Next time you feel the need to say my name, Tish, I'm begging you to reconsider. Because I really don't want to have to tell all the others girls at school what a nawwwghtie girl you've been. Now why don't you make like a good little girl and go ride your bike home to your mommy and daddy," he said. "You know what?! I think you're scared!" I accused. Dr. Cox managed to cross his arms. "You're scared of being with me because you don't want to be seen as the big bad guy who fell for the sensy!" I continued. "Sensy?" he hissed. "It's what us sensitive guys call each other. But you're a meany. See that's what we call-" I began but was interrupted. "Newbie! I don't care what you like to call yourself to help you sleep at night. I don't want to deal with you more than I have to. And yes I'll admit…I sadly wasn't faking anything that happened between us but it's got to stop because this-" he pointed between the two of us, "is a train wreck waiting to happen. I'm an emotionally crippled narcissist and you're Miss Sally Sensitive USA and nawwwt to mention—"
It was my turn to interrupt him, "I think we compliment each other and I think you think so too so why don't you just cut out the bullshit and tell me the real reason you're pushing me away, huh?!" He just stiffened, staring at me through glazed drunken eyes. "I don't believe you. This isn't how you treat someone that you care about. This isn't fair and you know it," I continued, choking back tears. Dr. Cox's eyes became fiery in that instant.
"On the count of three, you better be out of my apartment. And I don't want to see you trying to crawl your way back to me with your tail in between your legs. One," he began counting. I didn't falter, but I couldn't hold back the tears pillowing out. I looked away. "Two," he said louder. I met his eyes. They weren't mad anymore. "Three," he finished as I had started walking toward the door. I didn't even bother shutting the door behind me.
Dr. Cox POV
I stared at my front door that JD had left wide open. He's crying. Because of me. You made him cry, you idiot. I squeezed my eyes shut and hung my head, defeated. I solemnly walked towards the door and stared into the empty hallway. It's for his own good. It may hurt now but it'll save him a hell of a lot of hurt later. I did this for you, Newbie. I definitely didn't do it for me. I closed the door and headed straight to my bed. My head was spinning. I couldn't shake the numbness taking over my existence as I fell onto my bed.
JD POV
The way home was a complete blur, mainly because I was crying like a big baby the whole way. I walked straight into my room and sat on my bed, still crying motionlessly. Why was he doing this? He loves me. He wouldn't lie about that. But now he doesn't want to deal with me? I laid down and balled up, thinking about our love making. I couldn't stop the cries escaping my throat now. I was scared Turk or Carla might hear me, so I muffled them in my pillow. My heart hasn't ever hurt this much. The world was crashing down around me, with chunks smashing into my body over and over again. I pulled my phone out of my pocket and started swiping through pictures I had sneakily taken of Dr. Cox as he was working or yelling at me to put my phone away. I smiled, knowing he'd pretend to think that that was creepy.
I cried myself to sleep, with my phone in my hand.