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It was midday in 2015 and it was fucking winter and I was freezing my ass off. Back in 1994 it was always hot and I'd forgotten about climate changes in the real world. I was headed in the direction of Whitmoore College; my stomach was knots as I walked through the front door. The heat in Whitmoore engulfed me and I sighed in relief as I started to regain feeling in my toes and fingers. I stalked in the direction of my dorm and was met with mahogany colored walls and Christmas lights. I knew for a fact that Christmas passed and it was a new year, so I guessed that Caroline and Elena were too lazy to take down the decorations. I was also met with a gasp as I recognized Caroline's squeaky voice.

"Bonnie? Bonnie is that you?" I was caught off guard as she held me in a bone crushing hug that made my heart melt. God, I missed her. She was so sweet with her pale skin and rosy cheeks. I took in her smell as she wrapped her frail arms around me; she smelled like honey and vanilla. The feeling of despair was diminishing as she held me in her arms, but it still didn't change anything. Besides feeling less depressed, I was still let down. And I knew that if I went back into my old routine, shit would go back to being the same as it was beforehand. Me being sacrificial and dying all over again. And I couldn't let that happen. I couldn't let anybody see that I still cared and I didn't want to be the
self-less witch anymore. I wanted to be selfish. I had to be selfish. I had to be a bitch.

"Caroline would you please get the fuck off of me?" I said in a harsh tone. Caroline let go of me and when I was met with her tear-filled eyes and red cheeks I almost pulled her back. I almost cried myself, and I almost let that old Bonnie come out again. Almost.

"Bonnie, what's the matter?" she asked in between tears. "Fuck," I whispered under by breath. I looked her straight in the eye and answered in the most sarcastic, annoying voice that I could think of. "Well, besides the fact that I was trapped in a prison world with a psychopath who stabbed me, shot me with an arrow, and stole my blood to get out, I'd say I'm perfectly fine!" I shoved past Caroline with all my strength and continued with my bitch interior. "Plus! I stayed there by myself for more than two months waiting for you guys to save me, but nobody fucking came. So once again, Bonnie Bennett had to save the day." I laid flat on my bed and shut my eyes and breathed. It felt exhilarating to say that aloud instead of talking to myself in 1994. And that was another thing that nearly drove me mad in the prison world. The fucking isolation. God that shit was the worst.

"Bonnie I want you to know that Damon did everything in his power to bring you back," Caroline began. Was she seriously defending him?

"Ha!" I interrupted. "Fuck Damon. He tried to bring me back but he failed. I sacrificed my life for him to bring him back. I even sent him Ms. Cuddles…." I stopped short. Damon still had my bear. My magic fueled bear. "Fuck!" I wailed as I got out of bed. "Where's Damon?" I questioned, trying to get my mind together as I thought about seeing the very asshole that let me down.

"Probably at Alaric's…why?" Caroline started as I left the dorm in a hurry.

I was met again with the cold atmosphere of present day, 2015. I was missing 1994 more and more each minute.

"Bonnie, wait!" Caroline wailed. "Where are you going?!" I turned around and met Caroline's concerned eye. Her face was a mixture of confusion, sadness and guilt. But I didn't care. At least I tried not to. There was a great ache in the pit of my belly that I tried to ignore to no avail, so I finally asked, "can you drive me to Ric's? Damon has something that belongs to me." Caroline didn't hesitate; "sure," she said as she pointed in the direction to her blue Prius and unlocked the door to the passenger seat. She started her car and Rihanna's song "Stay" started to play on the radio. Now there's something I missed about the 21st century. The music. Listening to 90's music 24/7 wasn't as bad as I thought, but I could never hate Rihanna's voice.

"All along it was a fever. A cold sweat hot headed believer. I threw my hands in the air and said show me something. He said if you dare come a little closer,"

I sang to the lyrics of the song and I almost forgot that I was in the car with Caroline.

"That's one of the things I missed about you, Bonnie. Your singing. You've always had a nice voice," she said in a timid voice. I gave her a sideways glance and mustered up a "thanks" before she pulled into Ric's driveway. "What floor is Ric's apartment in?" I asked. "Just follow me and I'll take you." I shrugged in nonchalance as we exited the car and headed to his apartment building. We entered the elevator in silence and got off on the third floor. Caroline took a single right and three doors down was Alaric's apartment door. 317. "Here it is," Caroline quipped. I gave her a quick nod and knocked on the door with a clenched fist. I heard footsteps ascending towards the door and my stomach started doing somersaults. My hands got clammy and my heart wrenched when I heard the door knob being turned, and I faced my old history teacher Alaric Saltzman. He was still attractive, and he looked like he's even gotten buffer. I scanned his whole stature. From his white socks and blue jeans to his black t-shirt and white pasty face. Now his face was highly readable; all I saw was guilt and astonishment; like he's seen a ghost. He didn't say a word so I gave him a smug look and said, "What's wrong Ric? Surprised to see me back from the dead?" Caroline snickered behind me and I gave her and irritated look. Who said it was okay for her to laugh? She immediately set her eyes to the ground and I regained eye contact with Ric again. He still stood there, dumbfounded so I pushed past him and entered into his place looking for Damon, or even Ms. Cuddles. I didn't find any of them.

"Ric, where's Damon?" Alaric quickly regained his composure. "He's with Elena, why?" I snickered, "Of course he is. Can you call him? Tell him to come over and say that it's important." I said in a monotone voice. "But oh! Don't tell him I'm back. I want it to be a surprise." Alaric began to walk to another room, until he asked, "No offense Bonnie, but how are you here? How are you back? Not that I'm not happy or anything –"

"Oh please," I interrupted. "Don't give me that bullshit speech. Just call Damon." Ric did what he was asked and stepped into another room. Caroline finally walked through the front door and stared at me with disbelief. "What now Caroline? You have something to say?"

"No, nothing," she said quickly. "I'll just wait here with you until Damon comes."

"Fine with me," I quipped.

I know this a shitty way to end a chapter but there's more to come. Remember to review and let me know your thoughts. Until next time babies, xo.