"You have got to be joking."
Mallus Maccius was a thin, sallow-skinned man with greasy black hair and a permanent scowl on his face. He was leaning forwards across the table in the Bannered Mare, expectantly awaiting her response. "What?" he said, momentarily taken aback.
Issana was staring at him, an expression of disbelief on her face. "Maven sent me all the way out here for that?"
"I don't follow."
"Let me get this straight," Issana said, making no attempt to conceal her contempt. "You want me to do some pest control, then steal a few documents that you already have access to?"
"Well, no," said Mallus. "I don't really have access to them. Sabjorn keeps the key on him at all times-"
"So hit him over the head!" Issana said, throwing her arms up in exasperation. "Why in Oblivion do you need a professional thief to lay out some rat poison-"
"Skeever," Mallus corrected.
"I know what a bloody skeever is," Issana snapped. "Why do you need me-why would Maven pay for me to come out here, poison a few skeevers and steal a couple of documents when you could do all that yourself?"
"I don't like your tone, girl," growled Mallus.
"And I don't like you. So you'd better work hard to justify this job to me or I'm going to take it up with Maven."
Mallus frowned. "It was Maven's idea in the first place."
"No, Maven is smarter than this. Let me guess. You told Maven you had a brilliant plan to acquire Honningbrew Meadery and she trusted you enough to send you the best?"
"Does it matter? Now you're here. So let's follow through with the plan, shall we?"
Issana sighed. "You are so lucky I've already been paid. So just to make sure I understand how inane your plan is: you want me to pass myself off as someone Sabjorn might hire to deal with his skeever problem, poison the mead he's going to be presenting at a tasting you'll be organizing, and while I'm at it, break into his room and steal a few pieces of parchment?"
"Yes."
"Good, it's as dumb as I thought. You-" She stopped. "Wait a second… That's not what this is really about, is it?"
"What?"
"You work for Sabjorn, correct? Which means you'll take over when he gets arrested. You want me to get hired by Sabjorn to deal with the skeevers so that it doesn't come out of your pocket when you take over. Poisoning the mead is your way of getting him out of the way, so it's just a bonus that you can get me to do that as well. And I suppose the documents are your way of thanking Maven for sending me your way."
Mallus stared at her in surprised silence, blinking like a confused owl. "Maven said she'd send the best she could find, but damn, you're good."
Issana rolled her eyes and rose from the chair. "Three things before I go."
"What do you need?"
"One, you're an idiot. Two, damn Maven for getting me involved in this. Three…" She sighed. "What documents am I looking for?"