115

Nat-chan

"Then the snow thickened, till he no longer saw the guiding gleam, and knew not if he still wandered through the walled pass, or was lost upon some bournless plain of perpetual winter." – Clark Ashton Smith, "The White Sybil"

Sato sensed that he was no longer alone. He'd emerged from his private chamber once his mood for reflection had passed, and now stood once more in the dim glow of the domed central room's computer screen.

"Yes, what is it?"

"There appears to be a little problem," the Dark Man's voice answered.

"I don't see what it could be. Within another day at most we'll have harvested enough negative energy to achieve our goals." As he spoke his eyes were on the screen, which displayed a number of readouts providing him with various estimates.

"Oh, of course. But that won't mean much to you if by that time you've been blasted from the face of existence."

"I'm not allowed to die," Sato said in a low voice. He turned away from the screen to face the shadowy figure of the Dark Man. "But get to the point."

"We've been found out," the Dark Man told him. "There is one less Parasimon on the plateau, and it shouldn't be too long before Demon himself is on his way here."

Sato frowned. "Yes," he said. "That could be a problem. When would you expect him to arrive?"

"Sooner than would be ideal, I'm afraid," the Dark Man sighed. "He's not known for his patience."

"He'll want the Dark Seed," Sato muttered to himself. "Maybe more. The situation would be too unpredictable. We must be prepared. I've come too far to be interrupted now." He raised his voice as he addressed the Dark Man. "I leave it to you. Deal with the threat as you see fit. If at all possible, the time awaited for so long will not suffer another delay."

"You're out of patience too, I see," the other chuckled. "If you think it wise to divert my attention to the problem…"

"And why not?" Sato snapped. "What else is there for you to do? If the Chosen Children need any special attention I'll see that they get it."

"You're the boss. Give them my regards if you happen to run into them." With a glitter of eyes and flash of teeth he walked off into the darkness, and Sato turned back to the screen.

The room was of ice. By now the layer of frost that had spread across the floor from Nat-chan's body had climbed the walls and crawled across the ceiling, leaving no patch of the stone surface bare. For a long time now there had been little sound or movement from the two human figures on the floor. Though the room was not especially large, they seemed lost in it.

Daisuke felt lost as well. His whole body was numb from the cold, and his mind seemed numbed with an unfamiliar sensation – the beckoning of despair. So far he had not been able to drag himself away from Nat-chan's side, but he knew from glances around the room that there was no way out. He had the subconscious notion that he could find a way out eventually – that much of optimism still remained to him – but he couldn't think of any possible way to save Nat-chan.

Her lower extremities continued to dissolve with agonizing slowness, and he was terrified of moving her lest he make things worse. That final scene in the generator room came back to him. She hadn't done anything to deserve a fate like this, any more than those poor Digimon in the machines had. Would he have to lose her? She'd only wanted a friend! And instead she got…

"Damn it," he sobbed. One of his cold tears left his face and fell soundlessly on Natsu's. A moment later her eyelids trembled, and then partly rose. A second or two passed before Daisuke noticed, but when he did he blinked away his tears as best he could and looked at her. Her expression was blank, but not idiotic. After a few moments more her lips moved.

"They're gone," she whispered. Then she seemed to see the face hanging above hers for the first time. "Daisuke. Thank you."

"For what?" he asked, bitterly. "I couldn't do anything to help you. I still can't! And now you're…" He broke off, choking back further tears.

"But you were there," she said softly. "You listened to me. You cared!" They were both quiet for a moment, she thinking back, he uncomforted. "I used to hate everyone, and everything," she said, and for a moment her eyes took on a harder glint. "I was so tired of being all alone. Then…" The eyes softened as she refocused on him. "Thank you," she repeated.

"I messed up on everything," Daisuke responded. "Everyone knows I do. I couldn't find your partner for you. If I hadn't sent you back to the Digital World, maybe… That monster! And now he's got the others too, and I can't help them either. I'm so stupid and useless!"

"Is… Is Chibimon alright?" the girl asked.

"No," Daisuke groaned. "He's gone! That bastard killed him. And all the other Digimon are gone too."

"Maybe it's my fault," Nat-chan said. "I couldn't fight those…" She groped for the word. "Fireflies. I'm so glad they're gone, but… now it's too late."

There was no sorrow audible in that last statement. She seemed not to consider the slow approach of her death a tragedy. If she had analyzed her thoughts she might have come to the conclusion that death was a small price to pay for an escape from eternal cold and loneliness. Though she would have liked to stay with Daisuke forever, she knew in her heart that death was the only real door to summer remaining.

"It's not your fault," Daisuke said, breaking a long silence. "If even Imperialdramon couldn't beat him—" He broke off, feeling the need to hit something, but instead his gloved hands only tightened on Nat-chan's shoulders. He felt how light she seemed now, and he darted a glance down towards where her feet had been. It had been a while since he had dared to. By now both feet were gone, and one leg had disappeared almost up to the knee.

"Does it hurt?" he asked, in a hushed voice.

"No," she said. "Not much. It feels… not cold. Parts of me aren't cold anymore."

Again Daisuke's gaze swept the room. Nothing but ice-coated stone on every hand.

"I hate waiting like this," he said. "I just wish there was something I could do!"

"Can you… stay with me?" Natsu asked. "Can you stay with me until…?"

"Yeah," he said, looking down at her again with a pained expression. "Yeah, I'll stay with you. Whatever happens."

Another minute or two slipped quietly by.

"I'm sorry for all that's happened," Nat-chan said.

"Me too," Daisuke answered, after a pause. He didn't see what she had to apologize about. She couldn't help what the Dark Man had done to both of them. If anything it was Daisuke's repeated failures to set things right that called for an apology. He must make up for it. Nat-chan needed him. Somewhere, maybe nearby, his other friends needed him too. Somehow he would save them. He would break free of this room after… after…

Reality leapt up to strike him in the face. "Somehow" wasn't an answer. Nat-chan was dying right in front of him, and he couldn't think of a single thing to do that might stop that. Was there really no way to save her, or was he just too stupid to see it? Thanks to his imprisonment he'd had plenty of time to take stock of the situation, something he usually didn't bother to do, but emotional stress had left his thoughts hopelessly muddled.

For several minutes more he tried to solve the puzzle, not looking at Nat-chan, but he could neither make progress nor anything that might be mistaken for progress. "What can I do!?" he grated, tears again threatening. Hearing him, Nat-chan opened her eyes again.

"You don't have to do anything for me," she said. "I'm just glad being with you. I was glad when we met. I think, maybe, it's best this way. So please just be with me. Don't be angry."

"But—"

"We're together now – that's enough. Let's just talk." A small measure of her former vivaciousness seemed to return to her as she spoke. "Tell me about yourself."

"I… I really don't want to talk about that," Daisuke said. "I can't just talk about things like nothing's happening. Maybe… if you want to tell me about you…"

Now it was her turn to frown. "I don't remember," she said. "He did something to me. I can't even remember my name. I mean, before I was Nat-chan. I was so cold," she whispered, moisture quivering in her eyes. "So alone…"

"Hey," Daisuke said, alarmed. His own anguish was temporarily forgotten as he sought to reassure her. "That's all over now, right?"

"Yes," she said, and managed a weak smile.

For a long while the room was quiet. Natsu seemed relaxed, perhaps numbed by the steady loss of data. Daisuke watched her face in fascination – he tried to resist the urge to see how much of her had disappeared. He recognized now the truth of the Dark Man's remark. In a strange way she did resemble Hikari-chan. At the thought of Hikari he had to repress another frustrated outburst. His insides felt wrenched by considering what she and the others might be going through.

So he tried not to think, about anything, as the glacial minutes passed. No use to think anyways. It got him nowhere. He was just too stupid, and with the loss of V-mon it seemed his only source of power had been taken from him. For perhaps the first time in his life he felt truly helpless. He closed his eyes, hung his head, and gave up to despair.

What may have been hours slipped by.

Cold… Numb… He could never be warm again…

"Daisuke…"

The whisper woke him up to external things. He felt almost as if he had fallen asleep. Suddenly he remembered hearing somewhere that falling asleep in the cold of winter meant certain death, and was relieved that neither he nor Nat-chan had succumbed yet. He could see that she was awake now – her eyes were open, and she had whispered his name.

"What?" he asked, his voice small.

"I wish Chibimon was here."

Daisuke closed his eyes against the tears.

"But since he's not," she continued, murmuring as if half awake, "could you be my partner?"

"…Yeah," he answered. "We can be partners."

A contented smile touched the dying face. "Thank you," she breathed.

It's the only thing I can do, he thought, having at least the tact not to say it. He didn't want to darken her final hours with his own terrible pain. And so they both lapsed into a lasting silence. By this time the upper half of Natsu's body had begun to dissolve.