Tanith Panic, I'm so glad you like it so far! Robyn prides herself on being able to sniff out any relationship, but she certainly didn't pick up on Zax or Jonnie! So I could see her failing to spot Dyfty too. Thank you for your review!
Georgy-Girl, thank you for your review - I'm really happy you're reading this. Although I mostly write Cal and Ethan, I do identify with Dylan a lot and I enjoy writing from his point of view. I'm really glad you like the way I do it.
"Come on, Dylan," said Zoe. "Spit it out."
Dylan looked at her with a mixture of surprise, annoyance and slight fear. "What makes you think there is something to spit out?"
Zoe smiled knowingly and patted his arm. "Because I know you, Dylan. I know you very well and although I'm used to you being quiet, you have lots of different ways of being quiet and I know pretty much all of them by now."
Dylan shrugged and hmed a bit but said nothing, though he was aware of Zoe's expectant eyes on him. "And what makes you think I'm going to tell you anything?"
"Because I might be able to help?" said Zoe. "You can't solve your problems all on your own, Dylan. You know that."
"This is hardly on the level of OCD," said Dylan.
Zoe looked relieved. "I'm pleased to hear that, but it can still help to talk to a friend sometimes. I can give you a fresh perspective which might help you to solve the problem quicker than you could on your own. A bit of team-work, Dylan. That's all this is."
Dylan considered her words. Time was certainly running out. Christmas was only a couple of days away and he was forced to admit he was no nearer to talking to Ben about it. "I've been… seeing someone," he said at last.
Zoe smiled. She looked flatteringly unsurprised. "Oh, Dylan, that's brilliant. I'm really happy for you. So, what's his name?"
"His name?" It was Dylan's turn to be startled. He knew Zoe was worryingly good at knowing what he was thinking, but he hadn't expected her to get that far.
"Dylan, I've seen you," said Zoe gently. "I've seen the way you look at Lofty. And I've seen the way he looks at you. It is Lofty, isn't it?"
Dylan spent a guilty moment wondering if he should deny all knowledge of an interest in Ben, but then he remembered this was Zoe. He nodded. "Yes, it's Lofty." He always tried to call Ben 'Lofty' in public. "Does anyone else now?"
"I'm sure they don't," said Zoe. "I might be a consultant, but I still hear all the gossip and there's been nothing about you two."
"Well… Lofty and I have been seeing each other," said Dylan, rather surprised by how easy it all was. Of course, Zoe knew better than anyone that you couldn't help who you fall in love with and she was far from homophobic. Love didn't stop being love because you happened to be the same gender - or if there was a bit of a gap in your ages and employment status.
Zoe's smile was warm. "I'm so happy for you, Dylan. I've always wanted you to be happy and I was sure there was someone special out there for you."
Dylan said nothing. He couldn't deny that Ben was special, but whether he was special to Ben was another matter.
Zoe's voice was gentle. "But I'm guessing you weren't sitting there all quiet and thoughtful and worried because you were wondering if you should tell me or not. There's something else, Dylan, isn't there?"
Dylan nodded. "I want to ask Ben to spend Christmas with me."
"Are you both off work on Christmas Day?"
"I don't actually know," said Dylan. "I haven't booked Christmas Day off because… well, because it would raise comment. I haven't asked Ben because… because…" He lowered his gaze.
"Because you're worried he won't want to spend Christmas with you," said Zoe. "Spending Christmas together does seem to imply a pretty big commitment."
"Yes, it does," said Dylan, relieved she understood. "And I'm committed to Ben. Believe me, I couldn't be more committed to Ben."
"But you're not sure of his feelings and you don't want him to reject you," said Zoe.
Dylan nodded and spoke without looking at her. "I don't…. I don't know if I could… cope… if Ben left me."
Zoe put her hand on Dylan's back and rubbed it gently – and for once, Dylan was actually grateful for it. "Dylan, I do understand. Falling in love; making a commitment; taking things to another level – it's always a bit scary. It's always a bit of a gamble. You can never be quite sure what the other person is feeling."
"Then how do I find out?" said Dylan.
"By taking the leap," said Zoe. "You could wait for Ben to do it – but what if he's feeling exactly the same way as you? If you both spend the rest of your lives waiting for the other person, you might never know how happy you could be."
Ben had often imagined having fun with Dylan in one of the hospital cupboards. It was a fantasy he'd had often and continued to have now, but he'd never shared it with Dylan and he'd never believed for a moment that it might come true.
So he received a great surprise when he found himself grabbed around the waist and dragged through a door and into darkness.
It was so unlike Dylan, Ben didn't recognise the arms for a moment and was filled with a sudden terror that it might be Jack. Jack was always flirting with Ben and making suggestions of what he'd like to do with him and a cupboard had definitely featured.
But the arms that slowly turned Ben to face him were warm and familiar and so were the lips that sought his in the darkness.
Ben pressed himself close to Dylan and started to undo the buttons on his shirt (Ben wasn't overly impressed by Dylan's taste in shirts and generally removed them at the first opportunity), but then Dylan's hands caught his.
"Ben. I want to ask you something."
"Whatever it is, Dylan," said Ben, "all you've got to do is ask."
His heart was pounding with terror that Dylan was going to ask if they could see other people; if they could have a break from each other; but he could sense Dylan's nervousness and all he wanted was to ease it. So he spoke reassuringly and stroked Dylan's hands.
"Will you… will you…" Dylan's voice was soft and hesitant, but then he seemed to find a burst of courage and his voice came strongly out of the darkness. "Ben, will you spend Christmas with me?"
Ben threw his arms around Dylan's neck. Later, it occurred to him that such exuberance was probably dangerous when he couldn't see Dylan, but his body knew instinctively where Dylan's was, just as his lips found his instantly in the dark. "I'd love to, Dylan. I… I thought you'd never ask."
"Well, I thought you'd never ask, and quite frankly, I was tired of waiting," said Dylan.
"I was scared you'd say no," admitted Ben. He could see now why Dylan hadn't wanted to switch the light on. It was somehow easier in the dark. But of course, many of their most intimate moments had taken place without the lights on. Perhaps an intimate conversation was no different.
"I would never say no to you, Ben." Dylan kissed him again, but only quickly. "I would like to stay here with you all day, but we have something very important to do."
Ben laughed, a carefree sound of happiness. "Yes. Our jobs!"
"No," said Dylan, much to his surprise. "We need to book Christmas Day off work."
"You're right: we'd better!" said Ben. Robyn had been nagging him on an almost hourly basis, but he hadn't done it because Christmas didn't seem nearly as important if he couldn't spend it with Dylan.
His hands were on Dylan's cheeks; he felt him nodding. "You go first and tell me if the corridor is clear. Then you can go and book the day off with Rita and I'll submit mine to Connie."
Ben nodded and felt himself shivering. He did love it when Dylan told him what to do.
But Ben liked to take control too – and so he did. "And then, at lunchtime," he said against Dylan's lips, "I'll meet you back here, Dr Keogh."
"Whatever you say, Staff Nurse Chiltern."
Ben had filled in the application and emailed it to Rita. He knew he would get another email back when she'd approved it, but he couldn't help looking hopefully at her every time he saw her. It was a busy morning and Ben doubted he'd get a chance to check his email before lunch – and at lunchtime, of course, he was expected elsewhere – but he knew there was a chance Rita would tell him his application had been successful when she saw him.
"Have you got your holiday sorted yet?" asked Robyn when she and Ben met in the corridor outside cubicles.
"Yes, I have!" sad Ben happily. "I sent it off to Rita about half an hour ago."
And he'd just seen Mrs Beauchamp go to her office, so perhaps at this very moment, she was giving Dylan permission to take the day off too. Ben knew that Connie and Zoe both planned to work on Christmas Day so Dylan probably could be spared. Ben couldn't help smiling as he thought about it.
"Brilliant!" said Robyn, and hugged him. "I can't wait! It's going to be the best Christmas ever!"
Ben was glad she was hugging him. There was no chance of her seeing the dismay and guilt he was sure would be written on his face.
Of course, Robyn had said Dylan was welcome to spend Christmas with her and Ben, but Ben knew that Dylan wasn't expecting to share Ben with anybody. He wanted to spend the day in Ben's arms, and Ben knew Dylan wasn't ready for Robyn to find out – not least because that meant the rest of the hospital would find out too.
And if Robyn had lost her heart to Dylan, the last thing she needed was to invite Dylan, fill the house with mistletoe - and receive the inevitable rejection.
The only way Ben could avoid that was by not spending Christmas with Robyn - and breaking her heart a little bit himself.