Anger, sometimes even annoyance, can temporarily overpower fear. Once I got home and calmed down, I realized that this wasn't the current case. After talking to him, I honestly did not fear Dr. Horrible. He was too...I don't know. It was almost like it was all a game to him or something. I shook my head. He really was insane. Made me wonder, though. What had happened that made him think this was the only answer?
I decided to ask, once I'd let him stew for a bit. Just because I didn't leave him to die in a collapsed building did not mean that I had to like the guy. Meanwhile, I was going to take a shower and get a good night's sleep.
When I went to visit Dr. Horrible the next afternoon, I made sure to tell him off. "You know, I started to get ready for work this morning," I told him. "But then I realized that I didn't have to. Someone blew it up yesterday."
"It was only supposed to blast open the doors," he mumbled.
I stared at him. "Oh, well that's fine then! Lives and jobs lost, but hey, at least you got your dramatic entrance. And how'd that turn out for you, by the way? Not too well, I'm guessing, judging by the fact that you're currently laying in a hospital bed."
"Okay, okay. I get the point, all right? Geez."
We both sat in silence for a minute. I had this automatic desire to apologize for yelling at him, but I quashed the impulse ruthlessly. No way was I ever going to apologize to Dr. Horrible for anything. "So. About that crappy hand we discussed yesterday...what cards did you end up with, exactly?"
He looked at me blankly for a second before remembering my use of the metaphor the day before. Then he looked away. I couldn't believe it. Dr. Horrible actually couldn't meet my eyes. "I'm not going to talk about her," he said.
"Her? So it's a girl. I might have guessed."
"I meant 'it'. I'm not going to talk about it."
"Whatever. Don't you know that bottling up all your feelings is dangerous, man? It could drive you insane—oops, guess that already happened," I retorted sarcastically. Yikes, this guy was really bringing out my snarky side. I didn't even know why; it was just an automatic response. Kind of like a little brother that way.
He looked up again, glaring fiercely at me. "You have no idea what it's like," he hissed. "To lose someone you love. The emptiness, the guilt—" he stopped short, realizing that he'd said too much.
Suddenly all the pieces clicked. The hints he'd dropped in conversation. "...she wasn't his—I said give it back! ...what the world's put methrough? ... I'm not going to talk about her. ...lose someone you love." The way he got so defensive about that picture in his wallet. I suddenly understood that I'd gotten it wrong. "You loved her," I said. Which, following even semi-logical reasoning, led to: "You didn't mean for her to die."
He didn't answer me. Again, I felt that urge to apologize. I couldn't, though. Not to Dr. Horrible. But maybe—just maybe—I could apologize to William Harris. "I'm, uh, I'm sorry things played out the way they did, Mister Harris." My voice was softer than it had been so far.
He didn't reply for a few seconds. "Billy," he said finally, without meeting my eyes. He sounded lost.
"What?"
"My name. It's...Billy."
Billy. It was a child's name, but somehow I could see that it suited him. He didn't quite belong in the grown-up world. For a moment, I could see through all the villainy to the little kid underneath. I could see his humanity.
"My name's Anne. It's...nice to meet you, Billy."
Now that was a shock. He couldn't think of anything to say to that, and he was obviously trying. I looked at him, trying to gauge his vulnerability and open-mindedness at this moment. Finally, I decided to go for it.
"You know, the world hasn't heard from Dr. Horrible since a building fell on top of him," I began tentatively.
His eyes narrowed suspiciously. "So?"
"So, what if he didn't make it?"
"No way," he responded immediately. "I've achieved so much—I'd have to start all over again, and the League would definitely revoke my membership if I died through the backfire of my own invention."
I shrugged. "Just an idea. If he was gone, you'd be left in peace to do what you want."
"I'm already doing what I want. The whole world is mine."
"The whole world except her." The instant the words left my mouth, I knew they were the wrong ones. It wasn't necessarily a mistake in the long run, but I could have been a lot subtler. "That was a low blow," I admitted, the closest I would allow myself to get to another apology. "Look, I'm gonna go get some food. You want me to sneak something in for you? I hear hospital food sucks."
He shook his head, silent and pensive.
I talked to his doctor on the way out. Apparently Mister William Harris was pretty lucky. His injuries weren't as severe as they had seemed at first; instead of having a great big hole in his internal organs like I thought, he just had this gnarly puncture wound in his ribs. He'd lost a lot of blood but it had missed anything vital, and in a week or so he should be back to normal. Good. Plenty of time for him to think. If Dr. Horrible didn't resurface within a couple days, the world would start wondering what happened to him. He could still walk away... I snorted derisively. He seemed like a stubborn guy. There probably wasn't much chance of his taking my advice. Still, a girl could dream.