The Perfect Solution
An Alternate Universe – Phantom of the Opera Story
Nyasia A. Maire
© 2007
DISCLAIMER: I do not hold the rights nor did I create any characters found in The Phantom of the Opera or Phantom, nor have I received monetary compensation for writing this story.
A Dream
I dreamed that I was dead and crossed the heavens, –
Heavens after heavens with burning feet and swift, –
And cried, "O God, where art Thou?" I left one
on earth, whose burden I would pray Thee lift."
I was so dead I wondered at no thing, –
Not even that the angels slowly turned
Their faces, speechless, as I hurried by
(Beneath my feet the golden pavements burned.)
Nor, at the first, that I could not find God,
Because the heavens stretched endlessly like space.
At last, a terror seized my very soul;
I seemed alone in all the crowded place.
Then, sudden, one compassionate cried out,
Though like the rest his face from me he turned,
As I were one no angel might regard
(Beneath my feet the golden pavements burned.)
"No more in heaven than earth will he find God
Who does not know his loving mercy swift,
But waits the moment consummate and ripe,
Each burden, from each human soul to lift."
Though I was dead, I died again for shame.
Lonely, to flee from heaven again I turned;
The ranks of angels looked away from me
(Beneath my feet the golden pavements burned.)
Helen Hunt Jackson
Chapter Forty-Four – The Moment Consummate and Ripe
She sighed deeply.
"Very well, Erik. I believe that you know how all of this began, so where exactly should I begin?"
"At the beginning, of course. Tell me everything, Christine and then I shall fetch the priest and we can bury the Opera Ghost for once and for all time."
She nodded.
"I think I shall never be so happy as to know that specter is no more and I can truly live my life. Erik, you set me free! You saved me! I love you, ma amour. I love you."
"I love you, too, Christine. And, I always will."
♥ ♫ ♥ ♫ ♥
The young woman sighed and delayed her confession by fussing with her nightgown. She fingered the lace border for a moment, lost in thought.
"It is so strange. I feel as if I just woke up from a dream with a whole new life. I never realized how much of my life I lived in limbo. If it were not for the fact that I remember the feel of Lilith's control over me, I would indeed believe I have been insane ever since Papa died."
She looked up suddenly.
"You never truly met my Papa, did you? I am still a little bit confused."
He smiled gently and removed her hand from its fidgeting of the lace.
"No. I never met your Papa while he lived. Well, I never received a formal introduction to him. I saw him for just the briefest of moments that one time when I brought you to him after you hurt your chin. However, I do not believe that he paid me much attention. He was quite concerned, and rightly so, with your injury. Head wounds bleed profusely and once he ascertained that I bore no responsibility for the gash on your chin, he promptly forgot all about me and tended to you."
"So, was it real the memories I have of you living with Papa and me during the last months before he passed? No. Those memories are not real. They cannot be true. I wish that they were. The memories I have of finding Papa all by myself, those memories are true. And, that was when Lilith first spoke to me. She stroked my hair and sang to me. She told me that she would protect me, keep me safe. She promised that no one would ever be able to hurt me again. She kept that promise, Erik. The only thing that she neglected to tell me was that in order that no one hurt me again, no one would ever love me again. That was the trade. I could not allow anyone to become close to me. I remember when Madame would try to hold me and comfort me, but I would not allow it. I would allow Lilith to step into me and take over. She told me that she needed to do things to make certain that people would not be able to hurt me. At first, she spoke to me, but all too soon, she simply took over and I no longer remembered when she was in control. Part of me knew that I did not remember things like other people. That sometimes I would be lying in bed, staring at the ceiling and then, in the blink of an eye, I would be shoveling manure. The more I sensed my difference, the more I isolated myself. The more anger I kept inside me, the less other people tried to befriend me. I spent my days running errands or performing menial tasks and then I hid myself away in the chapel or the library. I lived my life in books and Lilith waited. She knew that a child's body would do her no good. She wanted a woman's body, so she waited. She began to exercise more control over my body and I missed even more time as soon as I began my monthlies. The other girls in the ballet corps and chorus, they sensed that something was wrong with me. They would giggle and tease me unmercifully, which only served to arouse my anger. My anger always awoke Lilith and allowed her to take control of me. She began playing her pranks soon thereafter. I told you of the notes, those I did, but I now remember other things I did. Mean spiteful things. Well, my body did them, but Lilith controlled me. I may not have performed the acts, but I allowed Lilith to use me, so in the end, I am responsible for the terrible things she did. Mon Dieu, graciez-moi! I hurt people! I killed someone, Erik! I hated the prima donna. Her name was Carlotta. She was vain and cruel, but she did not deserve to die! During a performance of Romeo and Juliet, I switched the prop dagger with a real one. In the scene where Juliet kills herself, Carlotta used the real dagger. She plunged that dagger into her heart and died there on the stage. She died because of me. How can you love me? I am a vandal, a thief, a murderess! I am all of the things of which Lilith accused me. I am guilty."
She turned her head away and hid her face in her hands as she began to sob.
"I do not deserve your love. I do not know how you can stand to look at me."
She mumbled into hands that clutched into fists against her cheeks.
"I am evil …."
The man swiftly interrupted her torrent of guilt.
"No! You are not evil, Christine. You were an innocent child. Lilith warped and twisted you into believing things that were not true. She used you and lied to you. Christine, do you know why Lilith needed you? Do you?"
She raised her tear-streaked face and looked into his eyes. Erik saw the desperate hope burning in them.
"No. I do not. Why did she need me, Erik? Why?" She whispered.
The man gently wiped the tears from her face with his thumbs as he cupped her cheeks in his hands. He drew her up and stared into her eyes.
"Lilith could only possess the body of a pure soul. You, ma chéri, were that pure soul. She could not cross over into this world if she took the body of someone evil. She needed the purity of your soul, so ma amour this is the proof. This is how I know you are not evil."
He looked deep into her eyes, so she would see and hear the truth of his words.
"Christine, you are not evil. Evil was done through you, but you are not evil."
She closed her eyes and fell against his chest, her slender body wracked by heart-wrenching sobs.
"Oh, Erik! I love you! You are so good to me. I can hardly believe that I tried to push you away because of Lilith. Do you remember the dream I had? You must remember. I told you of it earlier tonight. It was tonight, was it not? It was tonight when I told you that we visited the Angel of Music. It was tonight when I told you that you were the guilty one. It was tonight when I told you Lilith's lie that you committed all of the seven deadly sins."
He nodded slowly and smiled sadly.
"That was Lilith's greatest lie. Our love threatened her hold on me, so she sent that dream to me. I can remember her doing it now. I remember the glee she felt when you walked out of our bedroom. She wanted me to think you were evil, so I would reject you. She thought that if I accused you of something that dreadful, it would drive you away from me because you knew it was not true. She thought it would hurt you that I would think you capable of such things and make you hate me, but thankfully, it did not. Lilith did not understand how strong your love for me is. I am sorry for hurting you, Erik. Can you forgive me for not being stronger? Can you … do you still love me?"
He shook his head and her eyes closed as her face crumpled into despair.
"Christine." He spoke very quietly. "Christine."
She opened her eyes, which were shining bright with unshed tears.
"I shook my head, not because I do not love you. I shook my head because you are a silly woman for even holding the thought in your head that I could stop loving you. I told you I will always love you and I meant it. I still mean it. I will always mean it. I could no sooner stop loving you than your father could or Madame or Meg or, even Raoul. Let me be plain. Christine, I love you!"
"Oh, Erik!"
The young woman threw her arms around his neck and held him tightly against her. Erik placed his arms around her waist and slowly rocked her until she calmed.
"Ma chéri?"
"Hmmm?"
"Do you wish to speak with Père Anton? Madame brought him here. I believe that she feared you would require an exorcism or, perhaps, she knew you would need a confessor. I do not know exactly what she thought or why she thought it, but if you wish, he is here now."
She nodded against his chest.
"Oui. I would like to speak with him. I need to make my confession and ask for forgiveness. I would like to do that now before I see anyone else."
Her voice sounded muffled, but strong and full of resolve. It reassured the man that she was strong enough to embark on this undertaking.
He nodded.
"Very well, I shall fetch him and leave the two of you, so you may make your peace with God."
She sniffled slightly and drew back.
"Thank you, Erik. I love you, mon amour."
He smiled and sighed with relief and happiness.
"I love you too, Christine. I love you too."
♥ ♫ ♥ ♫ ♥
"Is she really all right, Erik?"
The man smiled and nodded, the strain of the night's events still evident in his face, but the relief also shone plainly in his eyes.
"Yes, Madame. Christine is fine. She needs to speak with Père Anton and make her confession. She told me everything. I am fairly certain that you are aware of most of the things the Opera Ghost did, but I need you to know that while Christine was the Opera Ghost, she was not herself. A demoness named Lilith possessed her and took control of her body. Lilith caused Christine to switch the daggers during Romeo and Juliet. Christine was not aware that she did it until tonight. She remembers everything now. There are no more gaps in her memory."
The older woman's normally stiff and proud shoulders sagged in relief.
"Dieu merci! All these years I knew something was wrong with Christine, but I was afraid. I was afraid of her fits of temper. I was afraid that she was insane, but most of all, I was afraid that she would purposefully and with her own hands, take a life. I shudder to think of what might have been if you had not come into her life, Erik. Merci!"
He shook his head and a small smirk formed on his lips.
"You have nothing for which you need thank me, Madame. I went to the opera house that night because Raoul pestered me into going. Christine's angel met her for the first time that night. Coincidence? No. Everything that has happened proves that there are no coincidences and that God does have a plan. Sometimes it takes time for us mortals to see it, but it is there. Oui, Madame, Dieu merci, indeed."
Author's Note: Surprise! Two chapters in two days! Okay, Mominator? Does the kitty deserve a review treat now? ☺ I hope so … so, here goes …. Please read and review! --ny