Title: with mighty wings outspread
Disclaimer: not my characters; just for fun. Title from Milton.
Warnings: spoilers for 4.10; some reimaginings of Biblical lore
Pairings: mentions of Dean/Anna and Castiel/Dean
Rating: PG
Wordcount: 680
Point of view: third
Ananchel, he calls. Ananchel, I know you are there.
She appears before him, glorious as the day she Fell. Her moments of impurity are erased by Father's grace. She would be breathtaking, had he breath.
Castiel, she replies. What do you want?
He inclines his head, unable to meet her eyes. I ask your forgiveness. I… I regret my actions, and the inaction on my part that led to your Fall.
She smiles gently, like he's an errant child. You had nothing to do with my Fall, Castiel. I tired of never knowing my Creator. I tired of His arbitrary rules and expectations. You could have done nothing, brother.
Relief sweeps him, and a deep sorrow. After… I wondered if I should have Fallen with you. We had been together in all things.
She reaches out to caress his jaw. I felt truly alone. I felt terror and despair. I would not wish those on anyone, Castiel, even Sammael or his lover. But I felt… Her eyes close. I felt love, Castiel. Not the barren feeling that Our Creator gave us, no… I felt pleasure. And that… She takes a deep, unnecessary breath, opening her eyes. The expression there is one he does not know. Castiel, I cannot explain it. But being human—I have existed for eons, but until I was human I was not alive.
But cut off from Father, he asks. How could you bear it?
She shrugs, feathers jostling musically in place. The better parts of humanity were worth it. But you must understand—I was unaware I had not always been human.
Why… He cannot think of how to frame the question. You took pleasure in Dean Winchester?
Her laughter is beautiful. I knew there was lust in your heart, that night in the cabin.
He blushes, but she—the favorite of all his siblings—lightly touches his shoulder. Do not be ashamed, Castiel. In all my life, I have never met his equal. I knew that I would have one chance, one last night of humanity—so I took it. I enjoyed his body, yes. I have no regrets.
Lust is a sin, he says. But I have yet to repent, Ananchel.
She smiles sadly, leaning in to rest her forehead against his. Sweet Castiel, she whispers. You have nothing to repent. Until you act there is no sin… and if ever there were a reason to Fall, Dean is it. She lightly presses her lips to his. You will be offered a choice: follow God's word or follow Dean.
Castiel's flinch is instinctual, ingrained since the beginning. Blasphemy—
She places a finger to his mouth. No, Castiel. Fact. The final battle is coming, and there are more than two sides: God with His angels, Lucifer with his demons, and Sam. Many demons will flock to Sam's banner, but nowhere near all.
She pulls away, stepping back. I will be with Dean. I will not ask you to join us; I know how hard a decision it will be. Her wings flare as she prepares to leave. Her last piece of advice is simply, Talk to Dean.
Castiel watches her go, more confused than he has ever been. He has always been loyal to Father, never even considered straying. He rejected Sammael. He has held himself aloof from Man—but now… He pulled Dean from Hell, cradled that soul in Heaven's Light, healed the rotting, torn flesh and returned Dean to life. He is Dean's guardian, Dean's guide.
Castiel knows that Dean will never leave Sam, even if Father commands they part. He also knows that Sam is beyond death—only his brother could kill Sam now that he's come into his abilities. That is why Dean had to be saved: he is the last-ditch effort of a war already lost.
Looking out over Creation, Castiel wonders what to do. The final battle is swiftly approaching, Lucifer about to walk free, God marshalling his forces—
And Sam is eating a hamburger, laughing with Dean.
If ever there were a reason to Fall…
And down Castiel plummets.