Title: Even my soul forsakes me now

Disclaimer: not my characters; just for fun. Quotes from 4.8. title from Byron.

Warnings: spoilers for aired season four

Pairings: none

Rating: PG

Wordcount: 400

Point of view: first

So, what would little Sammy wish for?

Lilith's head on a plate. Bloody.

o0o

You're not the boy you were. You're better, stronger. Hey, don't look away, Sam. It's not something to be ashamed of. You're growing up, is all. BoyKing becoming a man.

It's amazing, being at your side. You have no idea, do you? You leak power and I soak it up, into every part of me. I savor it, bathe in it, dance with your shadow and pretend I wear your crown.

Oh, oops, did I say that aloud? Silly me. You don't like hearing things like that, Sam, and why not? Afraid Dean won't approve?

Don't you get it, Sam? You said it yourself, when that siren-slut got up in you and made you his puppet. Her puppet? I've never been big on siren biology. Anyway. You said it yourself: Dean only slows you down. He gets in the way. You're bound to him by shared history and shared blood, but he isn't worth it. Let him go. You can set him up somewhere nice, a whole other life, a pretty little June Cleaver and a couple of Beavers.

You're not the boy you were, the one he made that deal for. You're someone new, someone strong and capable. Dean is a relic, tarnished and chipped. Let him go. You know he doesn't want to be here, right?

C'mon, Sam, admit it. You don't want him here, either. Just a thought, that's all it would take. A few words, a little hand-waving, all that awesome will bent to one purpose--you could remake the world. That's why both sides fear you so much.

Sam. Stop looking so anxious. You were born for this. Azazel, he didn't give you anything you didn't already have.

Listen--let Dean go. He's baggage you don't need, baggage you don't want. You feel guilt. Some love. But he's not the man he was, and neither are you. You've both changed. You don't fit together anymore, and that hurts, Sam, I know it does. But we have bigger concerns now.

They're grooming him to kill you, Sam. It's why they brought him back. So you need to put him somewhere safe, somewhere they can't get him.

You should kill him, but I know you won't. And don't worry, sweetie, I won't kill him either.

You're the king, Sam. You're--listen, damnit--you're Lucifer.