I awoke to a shooting pain in my arms and head, I was clueless of why I felt this way, I didn't open my eyes for fear of what I might see, I felt someone touching me... for the life of me I couldn't remember anything... nothing at all... other than small things like, my name, past, age and other things, but I didn't understand why I was on the ground, I felt something cold, trickle down my arm, I tightened my eye lids, where was I?
Then I heard someone, "May, honey please wake up!" Said a boyish voice, I don't remember who belonged to this, Voice... did I hit my head that hard? I slowly realized what had been happening, but the person next to me was still unknown, I began to feel my memories of yesterday slowly, painfully come back, the anxiety, the shame... the horror... but the voice, it was so comforting, I wanted to drift back into whatever abyss I was in, I tried to sleep but I couldn't, I just laid there... in all the pain from cutting I had ever had, this was the worst, it felt like the knife was still there...
"May?" I wanted to cry in frustration... who ever this person was they cared about me... 'They care... about... me?' I thought, I felt like so many hated me, and all I did was be who I was, so many people hated who I really was, so did I... I hated my past... my father... my brother... as I laid there I felt like I could die... I was trying to... I felt my mind leave my body but not to heaven or hell... just away, I do this a lot I don't know how I can... I do believe it has something to do with me being half demon... my spirit body stood in front of the scene, I laid there blood spilling from my wrists and some from my head, and the boy no older than me was sitting over me, like he cared... he rushed back and forth across the room working to heal what I had done.
I looked down at my spiritual wrists, healed... I felt, fake spiritual tears fall down my face, the holograms of pain fell at me feet, "I wanna die." I cried, the boy froze as if he could hear me... he looked down at his knees on which he was sitting on...
I could almost hear his thoughts, they were so loud... I looked at my real body's wrists, I felt the darkness pull me close, I resisted, "Kind van de donkere kant , laat uw duisternis overstromen het land , te laten zien wat een monster dat je bent , alle leugens verteld vanuit een ver ..." I whispered, it was Dutch, my dad used to say it to me, when he would hit me, he would repeat it over and over, it meant, 'Child of the darkened hand, let your darkness flood the land, show what a monster you are, all the lies told from a far...' he would say this because I was the child in the poem, the 'Child Of A Darkened Hand', there was more to the peom, lots more, I looked at the boy...
"May..." I put his hand on my stomach...
My eyes filled with spiritual tears, "Als een jongen van een groot licht komt en schrikt de duisternis : de nacht ... de duisternis kind zal het licht worden naarmate ze allebei zullen kijken als ze vlucht te nemen ." I said... it was the ending of the Dutch poem, for a very long time I didn't know the very end until I was older it meant, 'When a boy of a great light, comes and scares the darkness: the night... the darkness child will become light as they both will watch as they take flight.' The end was filled with hope, I looked at the boy, "When a boy of great light..." I whispered, the poem was called 'The Darkness Kind, en de jongen van het Licht .' On which I didn't know the translation, once a long time ago my dad screamed the story in my face telling me I was worthless... I ran into my room crying, there my mother spoke the end if the poem, she told the end full of hope... it's true I secretly wanted my life to end... but I didn't want to leave my father behind, or this boy.
My memories came back to me slowly, my spiritual body hovered over my real body, I watched as the boy looked directly at me, as if he could see me, I looked at his face and all of the sudden I knew his name and who he was, Wraith... I felt my real body's heart beat faster, he looked at me like he knew right where I was, I looked solemnly into his eyes, sadly you can't see color it the spirit realm only black and white, so couldn't see his real eyes, I watched as I felt my real body leave my spiritual body, it took control, I freaked out not knowing what to do, my real body began to moan, but while I am here I can't interfere with what it does...
There has always been a battle with my human half and my demon half, my demon half is like nothing no one knows me for, its mischievous, cheerful, sexual, sarcastic, it has color, it hides nothing, sometimes my human self lets it go and it gets a minute or so of it's life, then I bottle it up again, if I could I would let my human half die and be fully demon, thats what I have always wanted... my human half is very different, it's, depressed, it hides everything, its closed to any idea of love, its all Black And White, it wants to rid of my demon self... my demon form is much different than my real body, my skin is more pale my eyes are a brighter blue and they glow, my hair is still the same length just braided down the back, my hair color is a more platinum blonde, I have black glossy wings, and black wolf looking ears and a tail, I have fangs, and a longer and thinner tongue, I wear a cyan blue tank top with a black almost lab coat like thing over it, with cyan blue leggings, black boots, silver wrist cuffs and a silver head ornament, my demon self is (in my opinion) prettier than my human self, I always wanted Wraith to see this side of me, but I know that isn't possible unless he is also a demon...
I watched as my human self had taken over my body, as I in my demon form am stuck in the spirit realm, I watched as Wraith's face brightened as he saw me stir, I decide I should return to my real body before things get out of hand... I knew there was one thing I had to do first, I floated over to where I was in front of Wraith who was sitting, just as I had felt him brush his lips over mine in his invisible state I decided it was my turn, I knew unless he was a demon he wouldn't feel it but I would feel it... I looked into his black and white eyes, as I floated closer my eyes brightened, as I leaned into a spiritual kiss on Wraith's lips, as soon as I made contact a tingle was sent down my body, Wraith's eye's opened wide, 'Is he... feeling this to?!' I thought, I couldn't just let go... now that he knew I was there... kissing him... 'Is he part demon?!' My mind went on a frenzy as I tried to calm it, because my human body would strongly advise against this I decided not to stop, I felt no sadness as a demon I was actually happy! I leaned into Wraith letting my chest make contact with his, he laid on his back as I laid on top, my whole demon self was tingling with joy, though I knew I had to break away, I slowly tried to break away, but all of the sudden his being came to color, (this means he has crossed over to the spirit realm... which means he is part demon) his figure soon shifted and changed in color but his lips still latched to mine, both leaving our real body's behind...