Fine, fine. It has become a chaptered story. Are you happy now? Ya'll're greedy (but, fear not, I understand your greed). Go forth then and explore what this fine chapter has to offer.
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After the seventeenth time Light huffed and glared at the monitor, L finally asked, "Light-kun, what is bothering you?"
The boy turned to look at L to find that he was staring with a concerned—or maybe just an intrigued—expression. Light put his mask of calmness back on and replied, "No, it's nothing."
L pushed on, "Then has the computer offended you in some way?"
It was intrigue, then.
"No, Ryuuzaki, it's nothing," Light assured.
"Maybe the brightness is too high for your eyes?" he provoked further, chipping away at Light's calm exterior.
"No, it's nothing."
"Then perhaps the wires are—"
"I am fine, Ryuuzaki," Light interrupted sternly, his eye twitching in annoyance.
L made a tsk sound before mumbling audibly, "So easily irritated lately."
Light wanted to replace his mask and let the look and feel of indifference wash over him, but L was much too observant to be fooled. Light had been bothered by L's observational skills when they had first met, but he had quickly grown to be impressed to the point that he was almost pleased with the detective's ability to understand him without having to speak. . . it could still be annoying though, especially when L tried—and typically succeeded—to irritate him.
"We're getting nowhere in this investigation," Light stated along the same topic for anyone eavesdropping. It had been a few hours since he and Misa had talked and since he decided not to have her retrieve the other death note, he quite clearly knew that nothing was going to go anywhere in the investigation.
"So it seems we are not," L agreed, still staring at the boy. Light tried to continue whatever it was he was supposed to be doing with the computer, but L's words broke his concentration—as usual, "I have reason to believe that this is not what is bothering you, Light-kun."
Well duh, of course that wasn't what was bothering him, obviously. What bothered him was that L, the man he'd so poetically fallen in love with, was sitting next to him. Not only that, he could get over that, but Light had no way of knowing if L knew about these feelings. Now this was quite bothersome, especially now that Misa had laid out all of the options—which were like, three: he could ask L if he knew, he could tell the detective his godforsaken feelings, or he could do nothing and continue wallowing in this self-placed limbo.
"Zero progress is bothersome," Light argued to both L's statement and to his own life situation.
Silence.
Light groaned inwardly before continuing. "Ryuuzaki," he began in the same tone his mother had used when he'd asked too many questions as a child, "Could you please desist with the staring?"
L tilted his head and then nodded once as if agreeing to his own thought (he certainly hadn't agreed to Light's request because he was STILL staring). "Everyone," L suddenly addressed to the entire room, "We are making no progress in this investigation; take the rest of the day off and use this lull of peace to be with your families. We will meet again next week or if we receive word of any Kira activity."
Light blinked. Did that . . . really happen?
His father cleared his throat and let his deep voice carry across to them, "Ryuuzaki?" He didn't need to ask the full question since his question was always the same, "What about Light?"
L didn't hesitate when he looked Soichiro in the eyes and stated, "Of course he is free to go with you."
Light blinked again, his jaw slacking. Did THAT really happen?
Good god he needed some alone time simply to think—not that he was stalling or anything . . .
Or was this a trap? Maybe L suspected that Light knew where the other death note was and expected him to go get it. Of course then L would have Light followed. Maybe he already planned to have Light followed or otherwise watched.
Maybe it really was just free time to be with his family?
No, no; there's no way L would just offer free time if he didn't already have a scheme.
. . . Right?
"Is this a trap?"
"A trap for what, Light-kun?" the detective questioned, staring into Light's eyes again. He noticed the boy jump as if slightly startled; only L would have caught such a miniscule movement.
Light grasped quickly for a response; he hadn't meant to ask his question verbally. "To spy on me," he answered. That was a valid suspicion for him to have, right?
L tilted his head and pointed out, "If Light-kun is not Kira, then he has no trap to fall into."
"That doesn't mean I want to be spied on, though," Light retorted.
L opened his mouth to counter, but Soichiro interrupted as he neared the two, "Ryuuzaki, you have made my boy paranoid."
L glanced to the side and mumbled too quietly for the man to hear, "He's always been paranoid."
Light shot him a glare and whispered aggressively, "No, I have always been observant."
L looked back at him and leaned in to accept the hostility while whispering back, "You are paranoid, I am observant. Paranoia is putting a piece of paper between your door and doorframe to see if people go into your room. Observant is seeing it and putting it back."
Light scoffed, "Observant would have been also noticing the pencil lead in the hinge—which I found broken—and noticing the angle of the doorknob itself—which I found tilted." Light saw L's eyes widen at his statement and he smirked. "But I suppose you didn't observe those two things did you?"
L's eyes narrowed for a moment, choosing not to respond to the bait, "That's still paranoid of you, Light-kun."
"Is it? Because it was justified considering that you placed cameras in my bedroom."
"The entire house, actually."
"But mostly in my room."
Soichiro sighed massaging his temple with his hand as he watched the two have their bickering side battle. He had stopped walking toward them when they began and was now standing in the middle of the investigation room just waiting. They were certainly a sight to behold if you knew either of them personally: though it wasvery unlike either of them to behave this way, it wasn't at all uncommon for the two to behave this way with each other.
They seemed to be in their own world together, apart from anyone else.
. . . even if there were plenty of people in the room.
. . . which there typically were.
. . . including now.
He cleared his throat and watched them turn to him, both of their eyes still narrowed from the mini battle that had just transgressed.
"Light, come with me," he ordered in his chief voice to take the decision away from either of them.
"Yes, dad," Light answered, immediately standing from his seat to obey.
L was letting him go? L was really letting him leave? Like, just leave? Light couldn't believe it.
No, really: he could not believe it, there was definitely something L was plotting, but he'd have to wait to figure it out.
After everyone had packed their stuff and got onto the elevator to leave, Light called out, "See you, Ryuuzaki."
From inside the elevator, he watched the detective tilt his head and bring up his hand as if waving good bye.
"Bye-bye, Light-kun," L called, keeping his hand raised.
Light continued to look at L as the elevator doors began to close and although he tried to tear his eyes away from L, they lingered on his face until the elevator doors finally shut.
And Soichiro noticed.
Just as he always noticed.
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After a few minutes of driving without speaking, Soichiro turned off the radio and plunged them into silence. Light looked at his father, knowing the man had something to say.
"Light," his father began, saying his name slowly but with the same resounding tone of authority his voice always held.
"Yes?" Light asked, still looking at his father and waiting for him to get to the point.
His father cleared his throat, making Light just a bit nervous. He took a deep breath and stated, "We—you and I—we need to talk."
Oh THAT was never a good sentence to hear.
"Is it about the investigation?"
His father breathed out of his nose heavily, stalling for time. Finally, he spoke slowly, "It is about . . . Ryuuzaki."
Light looked away from his father and stared at the road. "Oh," he stated calmly although his heart had just beat against his chest. "Well then," he began. He paused, now he was trying to stall. "If that's the case, do you mind if we have this talk somewhere else?"
Soichiro hesitated with confusion, "Well, sure, I guess, why not? But, uh, why?"
"Two reasons, really. One: I don't want you to be distracted while you drive. And two . . ." Light rubbed his hands together nervously as he answered, "Because I'm pretty sure that Ryuuzaki's got your car tapped." With that statement, Light glanced directly into the rearview mirror, exactly where Ryuuzaki did, in fact, have both a visual and auditory surveillance.
Back in the Investigation building, Ryuuzaki tsked for no one to hear.
Soichiro nodded, "Ah, I see. He probably does." The man sighed and continued, "I'd prefer that we have this conversation before we get home."
Light bit his lip. God this was awkward. "The park should be fine."
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It was awkward—the short drive to the park, parking, walking from the car to a secluded bench—it was all so very uncomfortable.
They sat. Light waited; he certainly was not going to bring up the topic: if his dad wanted to talk about it, then his dad would have to bring it up. That was fair.
An eternity of about 3 minutes passed by before his father finally prompted, "So."
After it became clear that the man wasn't going to continue, Light repeated, "So?"
Soichiro straightened his back and then hunched over to rest his forearms on his knees. He then took in a deep breath only to let the air fill his cheeks as he let it out moments later. If Light was sure about anything, it was that his father was not very good in situations he hadn't trained for.
"Light," he began again, looking somewhat anew.
Again, the boy waited for more words before realizing that his father wasn't continuing the sentence. "Yes?" he asked. He wasn't exactly wanting the questions to start, as he suspected they might be similar to Misa's observations—if Misa had noticed, then it was pretty conceivable that his father had as well—but he kind of just wanted to get the most awkward part over with. If he could get passed the confrontation he anticipated, then the rest wouldn't be so bad.
Probably.
Possibly.
Hopefully.
"You are my son," Soichiro stated, following the rules he'd set for himself back when he did interrogations: facts and clarifications first, speculations to follow.
"Mhmm," Light agreed, looking around at the grass for a distraction.
"And you know that all I want for you is happiness, correct?"
"Correct," he confirmed again, spotting a dragonfly.
"And I realize that, though you are my son, you are nearly an adult."
"Mhmm," Light agreed, though in most countries, he already was an adult . . .
"And you do have the right to keep secrets, so I understand if you do not wish to answer my questions. But since you are my son, I ask that you consider honesty with me. Understand?"
"Understood." Light was thankful for that considerate dragonfly as a distraction; if not for that sweet little prehistoric insect, what would he have to stare at?
His father did his breathing technique before he asked, "Your feelings for Ryuuzaki: they are not simply platonic, correct?"
Ah, there it finally was. Politely worded, Light had to admit.
"Correct," Light admitted allowed, nearly choking on his own saliva. This was his father asking for confirmation on his son's affections for the best detective known today . . .whom which they both so happened to work with.
Soichiro nodded and added, "Beyond platonic in the sense that you would like the two of you to be as close as your mother and I are, yes?"
"Closer." Ugh, those words slipped out of his mouth faster than Light could think to just agree with the statement. Dragonfly, dragonfly, dragonfly . . . he could still feel his cheeks heating up as he tried to un-hear his last response.
"I suspected this," his father stated simply, leaning his back onto the bench and slouching, relaxed.
That was it?
"That's it?"
"Hmm?"
"That's all you wanted to ask?" Light asked looking directly at his father, very confused.
Soichiro had his eyes up on the sky, watching a cloud. "I just want you to be happy, Light. Does Ryuuzaki make you happy?" He did a slide glance at Light, knowing the answer already.
Light thought about it. Happy? Happy? No, not at all: L had never particularly done anything outright that should make Light feel happy. At least . . .he didn't do it on purpose. But then . . . Light was never happier than when he played tennis or chess with L, or when they had their conversations that no one else understood, or when they bickered, or when L actually smiled for any reason. . .
Light blushed fleetingly and answered, embarrassed, "He does. He doesn't mean to, but he does."
Soichiro smiled and responded, "That's the best kind of person to be with."
"What do you mean?"
"If someone makes you happy without ever having to try, then you can sit in silence and still be pleased with the company. If someone has to try, it's more difficult," his father explained.
"Oh. Yeah, I guess so," Light agreed after processing his dad's words.
"And I've only ever seen him smile with you, Light. . . even though he thinks you're the first Kira," his dad informed, mumbling the last bit slightly, still resenting the fact that Light was L's number one suspect.
The dragonfly left and Light felt his cheeks heating up. Maybe L didn't quite return Light's feelings, but that didn't mean he didn't like Light at all. They were definitely at least friendly with each other. That was better than no feelings whatsoever. Maybe Light had a chance . . .? Light was afraid to get his hopes up.
"So," his father continued, slouching more comfortably, "You're not going to wait for him to notice, are you?"
Light groaned. He didn't want to have this conversation again—he hadn't even wanted this conversation the first time with Misa.
"I raised you better than that, Light," his father scolded, reading Light's lack of response, "If you want something, you have to try for it, you can't expect it to just fall into your hands."
"I know, dad," Light whined, hearing this lecture for the second time in one day. "I'm not prepared."
"Take your time, by all means, just be careful that you don't take too long," his father warned. His father sat back and chuckled, recalling, "Actually, I almost missed my chance with your mother by waiting too long. Did I ever tell you that?"
"Not directly, but yes," Light affirmed.
"Well I feel like telling you directly now," Soichiro informed, smiling to himself at the memory, "She had just graduated from high school and was planning to leave for some rural town to be closer to her grandparents; she wasn't sure what to do back home where we grew up and since she had no ties there, she had no reason to stay."
Light didn't really care, but he nodded along anyway.
"I told her about my feelings for her just before she was about to buy the ticket and she agreed to hold off on living there as long as I went there with her to visit. I found out later that month, when we visited, that her grandparents had been talking her up to some other young buck. So if I hadn't gone, she might have fallen in love with him!"
Light still did not care.
"Dad," he interjected, "I get the moral here."
"Well good."
"Dad," Light said, after a pause, "Aren't you . . .upset?"
It was Soichiro's turn to be confused. "About what?"
Light swallowed and choked out, "That I . . . like a guy?"
"Why would that upset me?"
This was incredulous; Light had not anticipated this type of response. He stared at his hands as if they would give him a response.
"I only care about your happiness and your wellbeing," his father repeated from earlier, offering Light more of an explanation.
"But," Light complained, "Don't you care about, like, grandchildren or something?"
Soichiro burst out in a single bark of laughter, "Do you realize how absolutely horrible you have always been with children?!" He wiped his eyes at the ridiculousness of such a question. "Besides," he continued, "Sayu is wonderful with children and, based on what your mother has told me, Sayu is most certainly attracted to men. Beyond that, Light, I didn't have children so that I could have grandchildren."
Light gaped. This was all going surprisingly well.
Soichiro chuckled and slapped Light on the back.
"How're you feeling, my son?" he asked, smiling.
"Um," Light thought for a moment, "Pretty good, actually." And he did feel pretty good. If all else failed, at lease his family was there for him. That was better than he ever would have hoped for; he had been so distracted with just his own feelings and perhaps how L would react, he never considered how his own family might feel.
"Good!" Soichiro's smile widened and he stood. "Let's go home then; your mother will be so excited to finally see you."
"Yeah," Light agreed, nodding.
He followed his father to the car and smiled slightly to himself.
Maybe this wouldn't be so bad. He could believe that, if only for a while.
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I…don't quite know where this is going…but hey, I like where it's going…wherever that is.
What're your thoughts?
~Aia~
P.S. I would have uploaded this sooner, but ff had a 503 error for the past few days. Get your shit together ff.