This chapter's longer than the others

Rachel sent Dunhill a reply and packed up her belongings, moving back into Echo Town a few days later. She arrived late in the evening on the last day of summer. Dunhill was waiting for her at the farm, and hugged her tightly.

"It's good to see you again Rachel. How are you doing?"

Rachel looked at him. "How are you doing?"

Dunhill sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose. "Surviving. Just about. The loss of Charles has hit us all. And, to be completely honest Rachel, I'm not cut out for farm work at this age."

Guilt stirred inside Rachel as she pictured Dunhill having to work on the farm everyday at seventy years old.

"Well, I'm here now so that's one less thing for you to worry about."

Dunhill managed a smile. "That's true. You should go see Hina and Camellia at some point soon though. I know they'll be glad to see you again."

Rachel nodded. "I did come back for them, especially Hina. I wanted to." To her ears it sounded like she was covering up something.

Dunhill put his hand on her shoulder. "I know," he said gently. "Look, I'll leave you to get some rest and reacquainted with your farm. You know where I am if you need me." He hugged her again before leaving.

Rachel stepped inside the house. It was exactly how she had left it. She felt a sense of home-coming.

She took her bags up into the bedroom, where the first thing she noticed was the glass on floor with the picture lying beside it. Carefully, she picked up the big shards of glass and threw them in the bin before finding a broom to sweep up the little shards. When the glass was cleared away, she picked up the picture and looked at it.

She remembered that day. She remembered laughing with her friends, building snowmen and igloos as if they were children again. It had been a bitterly cold day, and yet when Allen had wrapped her in his arms she had been filled with an indescribable warmth to which nothing could compare. She had not felt so warm since that winter.

Rachel sighed and gently tucked the picture away in her bedside table.

Rachel got up early the next morning. To her surprise, she was feeling mildly optimistic. Perhaps she was happy to be on her own farm again. She had missed it a great deal.

As it was the first day of autumn nothing was growing, so she headed straight into the barn. There was a high-pitched bleat and her alpaca, Cloud, was walking straight over to her. Rachel grinned and stroked the fuzzy wool on top of Cloud's head. "Missed you," she whispered.

Rachel cleaned out the dirt and filled the feeders with fodder before spending at least an hour with her animals. She had Cloud, two sheep-one a suffolk-named Sheila and Misty, and three cows named Milky, Daisy and Patch. Even Rachel had to admit, she wasn't exactly gifted when it came to naming animals.

But she had to face the town eventually. Rachel slowly left the barn and headed up into the town. It was still relatively early. A lot of people were still having breakfast. Rachel walked quickly, straight over to the travel agency, and knocked on the door.

Camellia answered. She doesn't look well was Rachel's first thought. Camellia's hair-usually sleek and shiny-was lank. Her eyes were red with dark shadows underneath. Her face was pale and she looked thinner than Rachel remembered.

As Camellia registered that it was Rachel on the doorstep, her eyes got a little brighter and she immediately hugged Rachel tightly. "You came back," she sighed. "It's good to see you again, Rachel." Rachel hugged her back.

Camellia released Rachel and led her inside.

"Where's Hina?" Rachel asked.

"Still sleeping," Camellia sighed. "She's been struggling to sleep and I don't like waking her up early. The doctor has been round a few times, but there is only so much he can do."

Rachel swallowed. "How are you doing?"

"Still processing, I think. It was just so sudden. One day he was there and the next, he's not. I want to be strong for Hina but I think as a result I haven't been able to allow myself to grieve." Camellia sighed, deeply. "Hina's in a bad state, and if she sees me sad it will only be worse on her."

"I got her letter," Rachel said, softly. Camellia looked surprised.

"Letter? What letter?"

So Rachel told her about receiving a letter from Hina, how it had made Rachel feel, and how she had lost her mother when she was only a little older than Hina.

"Oh, Rachel, I had no idea," Camellia said. "About your mother, I mean. I'm so sorry to hear that."

"It's OK."

Camellia bit her lip. "Maybe if Hina saw you were back it might help her...wait here, please."

Rachel stayed, leaning on the counter of the travel agency, as Camellia headed up the stairs. There was a few minutes of silence, then some murmurings and shuffling. Then light footsteps on the stairs.

Rachel looked up. Hina stood in the doorway, in red panda pyjamas, her blonde hair loose around her shoulders. She blinked up at Rachel.

"Rachel?"

"Hi." Rachel smiled. Hina suddenly ran over and buried her face in Rachel's tummy. Rachel knelt down to cuddle her properly.

"You're back," Hina sniffled. "You got my letter."

"I did," Rachel smiled. "I'm back for now."

Rachel and Hina went back into Hina's bedroom. They talked a bit about Charles. Unlike Camellia, Hina had seemed to process Charles's death, and she had been grieving. She had been crying a lot, she hadn't shown an interest in anything, she wasn't always hungry and she had been having nightmares.

"I know that feeling," Rachel sighed. "Hina, did you know my mother died when I was ten?"

Hina looked at Rachel with wide eyes. "No?"

Rachel told Hina the story and Hina listened with her full attention. She even held Rachel's hand as she told it.

"When I got your letter, I remembered exactly what it had been like immediately afterwards," Rachel concluded. "The situation was different but all the sadness was there. Trust me on this Hina, you don't want to hold anything back, because it will only make things so much worse. But I'll be here if you want to talk about anything. It's OK if you don't talk to me, just make sure you share it with someone."

Hina nodded and sniffed. Then she looked back at Rachel.

"Did you go back home because Allen was mean to you?"

Rachel shifted uncomfortably. "He was mean to me, and I didn't want to be around him anymore."

"He was very sad when you left," Hina admitted. "I saw him and he said he missed you. I think he's sorry for being mean. He said he loves you."

Rachel froze. "Well, he never told me," she muttered, wishing Hina would change the subject.

"If you don't want to be around him, does that mean you're leaving again soon?" Hina looked like she might start crying at the thought.

"I don't know," Rachel admitted. She put her hands on Hina's shoulders and looked her in the eye. "I promise you, I won't just leave without telling you. We'll make sure that, no matter what happens, we'll still be in contact. I'll still be here for you, OK?"

"OK," Hina whispered. "Rachel...thank you for coming back."

Rachel went around the town, making sure people knew she was back. Some people, like Klaus and Rebecca, rebuked her for abandoning the town and her farm at such short notice. Rachel had hung her head in shame and apologised, and then they thanked her for coming back. Others, like Hana and Emma, almost cried when they saw her again.

Iroha had been the only person Rachel hadn't seen (with one exception). Her house was empty by the time Rachel got there, but Rachel had an idea of where to look.

Indeed, she found Iroha in the mine. Iroha's back was to her when Rachel came in. Rachel smiled.

"Iroha."

Iroha jumped, and whipped round, then broke into a wide smile herself.

"Rachel!"

The two best friends ran at each other and hugged. "I've missed you," Iroha said.

"Me too," Rachel laughed. She had been feeling better throughout the day. Perhaps it was the feeling of being back where she belonged, mixed with everyone's words of welcome.

"How have you been?" Iroha asked her.

"Surviving. You?"

"Surviving."

They both giggled then sighed. Iroha was giving Rachel that look she got when she was thinking. "You've heard about Charles?"

"Yeah. I've seen Hina and Camellia."

"Are they alright? They've been reclusive."

"I think they'll be OK. I mean, I think they'll get through it."

"They have the support of the whole town when they're ready for it."

"That does help."

"What about you, Rachel?" Iroha asked her. "You left because of Allen didn't you?"

Rachel gritted her teeth and nodded once.

"Did you want to come back now?"

"I didn't come back for Allen, I came back for Hina," Rachel said sharply. "Even so, when I was at home I felt like I was hiding. I missed you lot. I missed my farm. Coming back felt right." She smiled a little.

"You haven't seen Allen yet."

"No. I guess I'll run into him sooner or later but...I'm not actively searching for him."

Iroha smiled. "He's changed, you know. I think you leaving did him a world of good. He's changed. He's more open and considerate."

Rachel didn't say anything. Iroha continued. "God knows you don't have to forgive him, and you don't have to date him again. But just give him a chance. When you see him, have a proper conversation."

"Hmm." Rachel muttered. Rod had told her the same thing. Maybe it was true.

"I need to collect materials," Iroha said, picking up her hammer. "I'll see you later?"

"Sure," Rachel nodded. "I'll come over. Or you can come to the farm. I missed you a lot."

Rachel continued walking. She was heading up the mountain. The air was cool and fresh. She was really feeling better than she had in a long time. She didn't know what she would do when she got to the top, aside from walking back down again. Maybe it would just be nice to sit under a tree, enjoying the view.

However, when she got to the top, she saw something that made her stop. A tall, lean young man with red hair was standing, again with his back to her, looking out over the other side of the mountain. Rachel was frozen for a minute, her heart rate suddenly picking up. Then she took a deep breath and cleared her throat.

"Hi."

She could see him freeze for a second, just as she had. Then he slowly turned.

"Hello."

For a few minutes they regarded each other. He hasn't changed much. At least, on the outside Rachel thought to herself. He was still smartly dressed, shiny hair, his eyes as breathtaking as she remembered. Has he really changed as much as everyone says he has?

She's still beautiful Allen thought to himself. There's something off about her though. I'm sure she looks more tired than usual. Her eyes still aren't as sparkly as they used to be.

Rachel found herself walking over to him and standing by him, also looking out over the land. They were looking away from each other now.

"It's been a while," she said casually.

"It has," he agreed. There was a pause.

What have we become? they both thought.

"How have you been?" Rachel tried to make some kind of conversation.

"Oh...alright. Just...you know, cutting hair, hanging out with our friends. Not that much different since you left."

Doesn't sound like a huge difference yet Rachel thought.

"What about you?"

Rachel looked at Allen. It was possibly the first time he had asked her about her day and, definitely a first time, he actually looked genuinely interested. She tried to sort out a proper answer in her head.

"Well...I moved back to my Dad's farm...helped out with it, mostly...he has fifty cows which is a lot more than I'm used to," she smiled softly.

Allen found himself smiling a little too. "New challenge huh?"

"It was."

For a minute they were both smiling. For a minute it was just the two of them in the world and everything could be OK.

But it was not just the two of them in the world, and there was a lot to say.

"You heard?"

"About Charles? Yeah," Rachel sighed. "It really makes you think about how short life is."

"Doesn't it just..."

"I feel the most sorry for Hina."

"What about his wife?"

"Her too, but it's different for both of them."

"They both loved him."

"It sucks when a parent dies. Trust me on that."

Allen's father hadn't died but he had walked out on them when Allen was seven...the same age Hina was when she lost Charles. He remembered seeing his mother struggling with two kids-his sister was just two years old at the time-at the same time as trying to earn money for the three of them. Still, his parents weren't exactly loved-up and he was nowhere near as close to his father had Hina had been.

"Maybe I'm not qualified to comment," Allen muttered.

Neither of them said anything for a minute. Allen looked back at Rachel. Her eyes were still that same pretty grey-blue. Her hair was still long, gently waving in the breeze. He missed playing with it.

"I miss you," he sighed. Unfortunately, he hadn't meant to say it out loud.

Rachel had been pondering about how she had dropped a hint about her mother's death-she had never told Allen about it before-and it appeared that he hadn't even noticed, as usual. So when she heard his quiet confession, it struck a nerve.

"I have nothing to say to you," she said, shortly.

"Really?" Rachel's snappy reply had irritated Allen as well.

"If you think I came back because I was pining over you, you're wrong. I know exactly how Hina is feeling and I came back to support her and Camellia. I didn't come back for you!"

"Yeah, well you came over to talk with me so clearly my presence doesn't upset you that much," Allen grunted. They glared at each other.

"You were a terrible boyfriend," Rachel said, coldly.

"You stayed with me long enough."

"Because I'm fucking in love with you, alright?!" Rachel snapped. Allen went rigid with shock. She had said it. She was in love with him. She had never told him that when they were together. Perhaps that had been a good thing though.

A dam of emotion had burst inside Rachel. She had finally said what had been in her heart for nearly a year.

"I loved you. I would have done anything for you. I love you so much it physically hurts me! And I'm such a twat because you clearly didn't feel the same way! I wanted to talk to you about so many things but it was so obvious you didn't care. I wanted to tell you everything that's happened to me, and I wanted to know everything about you, but I never said anything because I knew you didn't want to know. I was just some other girl who thought you were fantastic."

Rachel turned away as she began to cry. Allen pulled himself together in time to stop her walking away again.

"Rachel...Rachel...stop. Listen to me."

He pulled her hands away from her face and made her look at him.

"You were wrong about everything, Rachel. I felt exactly the same way about you."

"Why didn't you act like it?" Rachel sobbed.

Allen smiled sadly as he brushed a tear off Rachel's cheek. "Because I was a-how did you put it-an arrogant cock?"

Rachel snorted through her tears. Allen's smile got a bit bigger.

"I was far too in love with myself to notice when someone else was loving me. And to notice when I loved them back."

Rachel looked at him. Allen looked her deep in the eyes.

"I love you, Rachel. It wasn't until you left when I realised exactly what I had, and what I had just lost. I felt sick to my core when I found out you left. I thought you were gone for good. And I knew that I had been in love with you. I still am."

Acting quite on impulse, Rachel reached up and kissed him. It was quite unlike other kisses they had shared. They could both taste anger and hurt. Rachel's hands were gripping Allen's shirt like she wanted to tear at him. But then they both relaxed a little. The kiss softened into sweetness. Rachel's hands relaxed onto Allen's chest. Allen's arms went around Rachel's waist and he pulled her in closer.

When they finally broke apart-it could have been hours, days, years later, but was really only a few minutes-they were both breathing heavily, Allen's forehead pressed against Rachel's. Allen suddenly felt like he had been injected with caffeine. He could jump a mile into the air, run through the entire town, scream his happiness from the rooftops. At the same time he wanted to stay on the mountaintop forever, never letting Rachel go.

Rachel rested her head against Allen's shoulder. She had missed Allen as soon as she had walked out of his salon in the springtime, only she had denied it. She was better off without him, she had told herself, and she had almost believed it if it weren't for a constant aching emptiness somewhere in her heart that nothing had quite filled. As she stood here in Allen's arms, she realised the ache was completely gone. Allen had filled it again. That part of him that was in her heart would never leave her.

Still acting on impulse, Rachel pulled herself away. But this time she firmly took Allen's hand and led him down the mountain, through the river area and over to the farm.