So DeGrassi as a High school for supernatural beings and creatures won the story poll. Now you guys need to vote on what kind of supernatural/mythic beings all the main and secondary characters will be. This week you get to vote on what you'd like Owen, Jenna and Sean to be. All the character polls will be up for one week.

Check the site for the winners in last week's poll Clare, Maya and Jay's characters have been decided. While you're at the site check out the calendars for June and July which have now been posted.

Also September's one shot week one shots have been decided. Huge thank you to Christlove88, dragonsprit, tomfeltonlover1991, Red2012, Truebloodfan83, Jenne11, COCOACOLEMAN, ForeverAndAlways37 and AJackson16 for voting and please check the site for the winning one shots, as well as 2nd place shots that will be put into October and possibly November when I get to those calendars.

Ch. 3 Pale Face and Hallowed Eyes

(DREW)

"DREW," Owen yells running after me but I keep running. Not really running anywhere in particular but I'm feeling so much and I'm going to explode again and I just want to run. "ANDREW STOP," Owen hollers again and he's closer this time. When I still don't stop he tackles me to the ground so I'm forced to stop. "Where the hell do you think you're running?"

"I don't know. Nowhere…everywhere…just running. I wasn't running to anywhere just running," I reply sitting up.

"And your hand? It looks like it could be broken," Owen remarks picking up my hand which suddenly hurts like hell.

"It's fine, my hand is fine, my hand is not the fucking problem. Ezra is gone and there's no reason for it, I lost my son for no reason what the hell do you want from me?" I seethe angrily although I'm really not angry at Owen at all.

"Nothing but your wife doesn't want you to hurt yourself, she needs you and you need her. Running away is not the answer," Owen tells me.

"Then what the fuck is the answer?! Do you have an answer for why Ezra died because no one else does and I'm fucking pissed off at the world for taking my son. I lost my world how in the hell do you go on when your world is gone? I don't know how to go on, I feel like exploding, I feel like I am exploding from the inside and I don't know what to do about it. I'm trying to be strong, I'm trying to be Clare's strength but I can't, I can't do this anymore," I say as my angry voice cracks with every ounce of agony and pain that I feel. "How could he die? He didn't even have a chance at life and now he's gone, how can he be gone just like that? I watched him die, I watched my son die and for every memory I have of Ezra I see the moment he was gone and I feel it all tearing me up inside. I don't know how to be strong through this. I don't know how to just accept that he's dead when no one can tell me why. Why were we given the gift of a son to have it stolen away? I'm trying to be strong for Clare and I don't know how to be strong for myself. I'm angry that he died, angry at everyone and everything and I'm hurting, I'm hurting because I feel like a piece of me is missing now and I'll never get it back." I bring my knees up and lay my arms on them putting my head down and I break down. Tears come pouring from my eyes, I'm sobbing so hard my breathing becomes labored and I can't see but I can't stop crying either. Owen puts an arm around my back and squeezes my shoulder.

"I know Buddy, I know. It isn't fair, what happened isn't fair to you or Clare and there is no reason. No one will ever be able to give you a reason that Ezra died that will make it okay or make you feel better. He shouldn't have died and you have every right to be totally fucking pissed off about it. You don't have to be strong, don't try to be strong if you feel like breaking down then do it. Clare doesn't need you to be to strong she just needs you to be there. Now what happened to your hand?"

"I was angry and I punched the wall a bunch of times I couldn't stop," I reply when I'm not crying so hard and I can actually answer. "I pushed Adam, I didn't mean to I'd never hurt my brother," I admit and start crying harder again.

"And Adam knows that, he knows you're hurting and you didn't mean it. Come on Adam is probably the most forgiving person I know. He's not going to hold a grudge because you pushed him in a fit of anger on the day you buried your son. Now come on let's get you back inside, Clare is in hysterics and you'll be lucky if that hand isn't broken," Owen tells me as he stands and pulls me with him.

We walk back to my house and go in through the back so I'm not walking through a living room full of people. We go upstairs and I hear Clare crying in Ezra's nursery, Owen takes me into the washroom in our master. He cleans my hand with alcohol and when I can make a fist without too much pain he wraps it in gauze and then tapes it up.

"If it becomes more swollen or you can't move it well or it's in a lot of pain you should go in and have it x-rayed. I'll go down and get some ice for it and let Clare know that you're back before she decides to send out a search party," Owen comments.

"No I need to go talk to her, and Adam too I think he's still with her," I reply.

Owen nods and he leaves, I take a second and a deep breath before walking to Ezra's nursery. Clare is huddled on the floor between Adam and Paige, my brother and Paige have their arms around Clare but they look up when they see me in the doorway.

"We'll go downstairs and get you some water," Paige tells Clare as they both stand and then Clare looks up at me. Before Adam and Paige can walk past me I stop my brother with a hand on his shoulder.

"Adam I'm sorry," I apologize feeling terrible for what I did and ready to break down again.

Adam gives me his warm smile and embraces me tightly, "I love you bro."

Adam and Paige go downstairs and I go over and sit by Clare. I bend my knees and rest my arms on them looking at the carpet on the floor between my legs, I can't bring myself to look into Clare's eyes right now. She moves slightly, curling her legs behind her where Paige was sitting before. Clare picks up my bandaged hand brushing her thumb over my fingers.

"Owen said he didn't think it was broken," I tell her and she puts her hand under mine interlacing our fingers and being careful of the bandage over my knuckles.

We sit like that a moment before Owen comes back in with an ice pack wrapped in a towel and a bottle of water. He doesn't say anything just hands them to us and quietly leaves the room. Clare takes her hand from underneath mine and takes the ice pack placing it on the bandage. She holds the ice pack there and puts her head on my shoulder, I turn my head and kiss her forehead lightly.

"What do we do now? I don't feel any closure, I don't feel better I just feel…"

"Angry," I finish my wife's sentence, "angry and empty and full of sadness and this indescribable pain."

"Yeah," she nods.

"I don't know Pretty Eyes, I don't know what we do now or how we move past this but we'll do it together. We have each other, and everyone downstairs," I say and she nods again.

"I miss him Drew, I miss him so much," she tells me before turning her head on my shoulder a little as she begins sobbing hard again.

"I know, me too," I reply and I turn a little so I can wrap my other arm around her. My head goes down on her shoulder, her head still on mine and we both cry on each other, wrapped in a shield of each other and unyielding unimaginable sorrow.

(ADAM)

I use my key to go into Drew and Clare's place, it's dark downstairs and quiet. I know where I'll find them though, I'll find them upstairs in Ezra's nursery. His funeral was Saturday, yesterday Owen and Ashley stayed here. Jake and Katie, Clare's parents and my parents were also here most of the day but today is Monday and for most of the world life is moving on, we had to get back to work and our lives. We all miss Ezra of course, we're all sad that he is gone but we had to get back to our lives and begin to move on. Not so for Clare and Drew however. They barely left Ezra's nursery yesterday, didn't eat and they've been sleeping on the floor of Ezra's room since he died. The couple of times they have fallen asleep in their room and they're bed has been out of pure exhaustion. They are mired in the heartbreak and mourning of losing Ezra but it had only been a few days and I knew they needed time.

"I'll see what's left from the…from Saturday I might need to run out unless your Mom went shopping," Paige says as I turn on the lights for the living room.

"I'll go upstairs and check on them, I'm sure they haven't eaten all day but possibly slept. I hope they slept anyway," I comment.

I go upstairs and sure enough find Clare and Drew in Ezra's room, the door is still broken no one's even mentioned fixing it. Clare is asleep in the pile of stuffed animals and baby blankets that she's made a sort of nest out of. She's curled up and cradling Drew's old bear to her chest. The streaks of tears down her face seem to be eternal now; even asleep it looks like she's crying. My brother sits in the rocking chair, a photo album they had been putting together chronicling everything from the moment Clare found out she was pregnant to…well to a few days before Ezra passed, is open in his lap. Drew is staring at pictures of Ezra from a few days after he was born, he looks lost in the picture, caught up in a memory I guess but he looks up at me when I come in.

"She cried herself to sleep a couple of hours ago, I don't want to wake her," Drew says.

"We'll make dinner, and don't tell me you're not hungry because you both need to eat," I assert.

"We're not hungry but I know we need to eat. Don't wake Clare yet, let her sleep she didn't sleep at all last night she just cried," Drew whispers slowly getting out of the rocking chair.

It's been nearly a week since Ezra died, six days of them drowning in grief and I can see the toll it's taking on them, how the bereavement, woe and pain they're in is taking a physical toll on them. Drew gets up slowly, his movements almost painstaking as if he were 85 and not 25. He makes a noise as he moves like the movement itself was difficult. He looks back at Clare before going out the door and I follow him downstairs.

"There's leftover salad and a few other bits. Someone did go shopping though there's chicken, pasta and some vegetables. I can run out and get something else if you want, cook anything you like," Paige offers when we come downstairs.

"No chicken is fine I don't think either of us will eat very much. I'm going to shower if you don't mind, I think I need one," Drew comments.

"Yeah of course, go shower do whatever you need bro," I tell him.

Drew nods and turns to go upstairs but then stops and looks back at us, "Thanks for being here, both of you."

"Of course," Paige smiles. Drew tries to smile back, I see it, I see the corners of his mouth trying to curl up, struggling to make a smile even a little tiny one but he can't. When he goes upstairs I go into the kitchen and help Paige with dinner. Drew comes downstairs again just as dinner is finished and I tell Drew I'll go upstairs and wake up Clare.

"Clare wake up dinner," I say shaking her gently.

"I'm not hungry," she replies sitting up lethargically. Just like Drew her movements are slow and painstaking.

"I know you're not hungry but you need to eat, you need to keep up your strength," I assert taking her hand and getting her to stand.

"What's the point?" She questions still holding onto Drew's old bear and I practically have to pry the bear from her.

"The point is that you need to eat," I reply pulling her toward the stairs. "We're all eating together, I'm sure you haven't eaten all day and you need to eat something," I insist holding her hand while we walk downstairs.

I sit her at the table across from Drew and then Paige and I serve them before sitting down. They stare at their food, sip their water, poke at the vegetables and eat small bites. In losing a child they've become like children themselves, very old, very sad, nearly helpless children. I keep telling myself that they need time, it's only been a couple of days since Ezra's funeral and how do you even begin to process something like the loss of a child? I tell myself not to worry, not just yet anyway, they need time and it will be okay, or so I'm hoping.

"Clare you should take a nice long shower or a hot bath maybe, we'll clean everything up," Paige tells her when Clare's eaten just a little bit.

"Thanks I guess I could use a shower," she replies. Like Drew she also tries to smile but doesn't succeed. It breaks my heart to watch them, to see them so deeply pulled down by sorrow and mourning. I understand why they are but it still breaks my heart.

Clare goes upstairs and Drew follows her, I watch them slowly ascend the stairs and then Paige and I begin clearing the table. Paige starts putting away food and I begin washing dishes.

"We should come over after work all week. They're going to need us," Paige remarks as we clean up.

"Agreed, I'll call K.C. tomorrow have him and Jenna swing by in the morning or at lunch. I'm worried, I know it's only been a few days but I am worried about them. I think Clare's falling into a depression and Drew seems to waiver between anger and melancholy but they just need time, right?"

"Yeah time and support, we'll help them, all of us. The wounds left by Ezra's death will be slow to heal, they'll never really heal entirely but we'll be here as long as they need us," Paige responds and I nod.

We gather our stuff and I go upstairs to say goodbye, I hear Clare crying in the bath and find my brother asleep in the rocking chair in Ezra's nursery. He's got one of the baby blankets over him and the photo album is still open in his lap. I don't want to wake him and I can't disturb Clare in the bath so I leave a note on the doorframe to Ezra's room to call if they need us for anything. Then I go downstairs and I turn off the lights locking the front door and leaving my brother and best friend in dark of their house and hoping that they can make it through this.

(DREW)

I can hear my cell phone ringing in the bedroom and it wakes me up but Clare sleeps right through it. That's pretty much all she's done is sleep, sleep and cry. It's been ten days since Ezra's death, the ten most terrible, miserable horrendously painful days I've ever had. Everyone keeps telling us it will get better, telling us we'll heal with time. I don't see how, it doesn't seem like there's enough time to make this better. I feel like I did the moment I watched Ezra die and Clare…my wife seems to slip deeper into darkness every day. I look at Clare sleeping, clinging to my old bear which has become a surrogate to Ezra for her. I get up and walk to the bedroom grabbing my cell phone and sitting on the bed, our bed which we really haven't slept in since the night we rushed Ezra to the ER.

"Hello?"

"Drew it's Alexia," says the voice on the other end of the line. Alexia is a secretary at the school I work at.

"Hi Alexia," I reply with a yawn. Being sad and in emotional torture makes you extremely tired.

"Hi, listen I'm calling because we need to know if we need the substitute for next week? You have a few days of sick leave left but we need to tell her if she's coming back next week," Alexia tells me.

I look at the clock, it's a little after two in the afternoon. I haven't been back to work since Ezra died, Clare hasn't either. No amount of time seems like enough to get past Ezra's death, even to accept it. I don't know how I'll feel returning to work and teaching other people's children. I really don't want to go back to work but I also don't want to continue in this dark hole that we're in. Besides one of us will have to return to work soon we have bills to pay and we can't keep going the way that we are.

"I…I don't know do you need an answer right away?"

"We need to let her know so I can give you until five if we don't hear from you by then we'll ask the substitute to come back," Alexia says.

"Okay thanks," I reply with a raspy tone. Clare and I haven't talked to much in the last ten days just a lot of crying.

"We're all thinking about you here Drew, give our best to Clare."

"Yeah I will," I reply and hang up.

Clare's boss put her on medical leave, after coming to the house and seeing Clare sobbing on the floor of Ezra's room. I was asleep but Paige, Jenna, Adam and Owen were here. That was three days ago which was also a week to the day Ezra died and that day was so hard to get through. The fact that time had kept going for an entire week after our son was taken from us seemed like a crime. Clare and I were barely functional that day, less than we had been previously. Thankfully our friends and my brother were here to keep us from completely going over the edge. I thought nothing would be as hard as the day Ezra died but I remember so little of that day, except for the moment that he died the rest day is just this blur. The week anniversary of Ezra's death was a whole other level of pain and sorrow for both of us. The fact that we made it through at least gave me the tiniest scrap of hope that we could keep going, keep living a life without Ezra in it but I'm not sure it gave Clare the same hope.

Clare's still sleeping and I don't want to wake her so I let her sleep. I don't feel hungry but I know I need to eat, well at least I'm assuming the headache I have is from lack of food and not from crying. I walk downstairs and grab some food sitting on the sofa. Paige has been in our kitchen more than we have recently, she cooks here almost every night and she's organized little snacks and meals for us. Things we can quickly grab and eat or heat in the microwave. I just sit there nibbling on nuts and staring at the framed picture of the three of us the day we brought Ezra home. It's in a heart shaped frame on the mantle; it's the centerpiece of the mantle surrounded by other pictures of me and Clare and our friends and family. I must sit there a couple of hours hardly moving, not thinking just staring at the picture because Adam lets himself in and he gets off work at four.

"The school called, wanted to know if I'd be back at work on Monday," I inform my brother before he's even closed the door again.

"What did you tell them?"

"I haven't yet, I don't know. Clare can't go back to work yet and we have bills to pay. I just don't know if I can go teach other kids, can I look at them and not think of what Ezra missed out on? What he'd be like at that age? I can't stay here and I don't know if I can return so what do I do?"

"Maybe it would be good for you to get back to work, back to life. If you're ready of course but I do think staying here and in Ezra's room all day is just keeping you both in the sorrow of it all. Clare can barely handle standing up but you usually do better when you're distracted. I can't tell you what to do though, only you know if you're ready. I'm sure the school will understand if you need more time. I know the rest of us will."

"No you're right I can't just stay here doing nothing it's just making things worse. I should at least try, there's only a couple months left in the school year and I really like the kids in my class. Maybe it will be okay, if it's not I'll start teaching adults at night school or something," I respond and Adam smiles.

"You call the school and I'll go check on Clare," Adam says.

I have to go back upstairs to get my cell phone and I call the school, I tell them I'll be in on Monday on a trial basis. Alexia says it's fine and they understand, tells me everyone looks forward to seeing me Monday before we hang up.

"I'm forcing Clare to eat something, you want anything?" Adam questions.

"No I'm okay I had some nuts," I tell him.

"Paige will be here in an hour or so and we'll make dinner anyway but Clare hasn't eaten since dinner last night. She's dehydrated too I'm going to make her drink some water," Adam says.

"She hasn't eaten since last night? Maybe I shouldn't go back to work, I can't even take care of my wife or myself how do I take care of a room full of five and six year olds?"

"You'll be great Drew, you're amazing with kids and your class loves you. Paige and I, plus Owen, Ashley, Jenna and K.C. will take care of you guys for a while. You should probably tell her you're going back to work though," Adam comments.

"No, no I can't go back to work I can't leave Clare. Fuck what was I thinking I can't leave Clare here alone all day. I'm going to call the school back a…"

"Drew," Adam says taking the phone from my hand, "we'll take care of it. All she does is sleep and cry anyway."

"Yeah you're right, I'll go talk to her," I nod getting up and we leave the room. I go into the nursery and Clare is standing up staring into Ezra's crib. "The school called they wanted to know if I was coming back to work on Monday and I told them I was."

"How can you go back to work like nothing happened?" She questions, her voice is very small and hoarse it also seems very distant, almost detached and then she looks at me. I've looked at my wife in the past several days, I've seen her, I've held her but this feels like maybe the first time I'm truly seeing her since we rushed to the hospital. She's pale, her eyes are hallowed, she looks like less than a shell of the woman she was just a couple of weeks ago. Ezra was the one that died but right now it looks like he took Clare's spirit with him. "How can you move on? Tell me Drew because I can't even bear to leave this room," she says.

"I'm not going back like nothing happened but one of us has to work. I don't want to go back Clare and I don't want to leave you. I miss him too, I sleep in this room too just to feel close to him but we can't keep going like this," I tell her in a tone that's pleading.

"Here Clare you need some protein and you need to drink this whole thing of water," Adam asserts giving her the water bottle and a little plate with cheese and nuts.

"I'll eat if you both go," she responds.

"Clare…" I start but she cuts me off.

"Please go I just want to eat alone," she asserts again and I sigh turning and going back to the master bedroom with my brother.

"She's angry at me for going back to work I think," I tell him.

"She's angry at the world Drew, she knows that you have to go back to work as much as you do," Adam assures me.

"I w…"

"GAHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Clare makes an ear piercing scream interrupting me, it's a scream of anger and pain and loss. For a second it's actually a glimmer of hope because I think she's getting it out, she's letting those feelings out and maybe just maybe beginning to climb out of her hole of depression. Only for a second however because then I hear deeply heavy sobs, crashing sounds and then THUD the sound of dead weight hitting the floor followed by silence.

"CLARE?" I call but get only silence in return.

Adam and I leap up running for the nursery praying Clare's alright. I already lost my son I can't lose my wife too.

I know three cliffhangers in a row I'm just terrible. Update next week will pick up from right here.