So I really wanted to give you guys nice long chapters this week since all the long stories are going on break until January. However life seldom works how you want it to and I am sick with a pretty nasty cold (yuck!). Taking care of myself and working have to be the priorities so sadly it's a fairly short chapter but I didn't leave you with a cliffhanger until January.
Tomorrow, along with being sick (have I mentioned yuck?) I have a lot of work that has to be done. Because the long stories won't be updated again until January I'm going to try really really hard to give you guys an update tomorrow but it just might not be feasible. Again I need to put myself and work first but I will try to get up at least a short update tomorrow, keep an eye on the DeGrassi Saviors website tomorrow for news on whether or not there will be a chapter.
Ch. 17 We'll Make it Through
(DREW)
"Hi everyone," Dr. Reddington greets as he walks into the room with several members of Clare's care team Friday afternoon. We'd had breakfast and spent the day playing games and watching TV in Clare's room.
"Hi Dr. Reddington, this is my brother Adam and his wife Paige," I introduce them.
Dr. Reddington shakes their hands and introduces the other members of Clare's care team that are with him. After introductions Dr. Reddington asks us to sit down.
"We've had a look at your CT and your biopsy Clare," Dr. Kennedy tells us. Dr. Kennedy is her surgical oncologist. "You do have a sizeable tumor that we need to remove immediately and I have scheduled your surgery for 6am tomorrow morning. The cancer has not spread to your lymph nodes which is great news, however the cancer has begun to invade your kidney. It's minimal right now and we will use target radiation to try and reverse it. If we can't reverse it we will have to remove the kidney before the tissue goes necrotic. You can live a wonderfully long life with one kidney."
"Can she still live a very long life with one kidney and having had cancer twice?" I question before the doctor can continue.
"Yes as long as she's careful and takes care of herself but don't worry about her losing a kidney until we've tried everything else. First step is removing the tumor. After the surgery and some time to heal you'll begin a fairly aggressive regimen of target radiation and chemotherapy, the type of cancer cells you have is called anaplastic. Because of that and your tumor and how far the cancer has spread. right now we believe you'll have three months of chemo therapy and radiation," Dr. Reddington says and Clare squeezes my hand a little tighter.
"Three months?" She asks.
"We will keep reevaluating that estimation as your treatment progresses. Your entire care team will meet every month. We believe you'll be here for at least four months but again that's something to be continually evaluated. Along with your chemotherapy and radiation you'll have a nutrition plan, exercise, homeopathic therapies, vitamins and supplements. pain management, spiritual support," Dr. Kennedy says.
"Like we said you're entire care team will meet every week and today and Sunday various members of your care team will come in to meet with you one on one. They will discuss your care plan with you and if have any questions or concerns for them it's a great opportunity to bring them up. I am available 24 hours a day if you need anything. Drew you can also get a hold of me 24 hours a day for you or Clare. We know that part of supporting the cancer patient is supporting their support network. There's a group therapy session and many other available supports for all of you that here to support Clare," Audrey tells us.
"Thank you Audrey," I smile.
"We'll give you some time, let me know if you need anything or have any questions," Audrey tells us.
"I'll be back this evening to discuss how the surgery will go tomorrow," Dr. Kennedy says and they all leave the room.
"We'll go call everyone and keep them updated and give you guys a few minutes. Do you want anything?" Adam asks and Clare shakes her head.
"No just let everyone know what's happening please," I reply. Adam and Paige leave and I pull Clare into my arms and sit with her in my lap on the sofa. "It's going to be okay, you're going to beat this. The surgery is going to go well and you're going to beat this," I encourage her.
"But they think I'll be in here for four months what are we going to do? You have to go back to work at some point," she says gripping my hand and interlacing our fingers.
"I will but when I'm not here someone else that loves you will be. I already called Alexia and explained everything she's going to see what she can do for me to change districts. If I can't get a job in this district then I'll find tutoring work or something. We will figure it out and I don't want you to worry about this kind of stuff. You have enough to worry about let us worry about the rest," I tell her.
"I'll try but I don't want you to hide things from me. If you can't find a job I want to know," she insists.
"I promise," I reply kissing her temple.
She smiles and puts her head on my shoulder, "I keep thinking about Ezra. Not about being with him but wishing he were here. Thinking about how especially now I'd love to have him in my arms. How much harder I'd be fighting if I had him to fight for. I'm still going to fight, for you and us but I'd fight so much harder if I had my son to fight for. And yet I'm glad he isn't here. I wouldn't want him to experience this or watch me go through this."
"He's with us; his love is with us to keep you strong."
Clare looks up at me with a smile and kisses me gently. We break from the kiss when Adam and Paige come back in the room.
"We called everyone except our parents and Clare's because they'll be here soon for dinner. Everyone else wanted to be updated every time we had news. And everyone sends their love," Adam says.
"Thanks, we can eat in the commissary since the parents aren't going to stop and pick up dinner," Clare comments.
"Nope they're coming straight from the airport," Adam replies.
"I'm going to clean up a little before dinner and change into something a little nicer since I'll be looking like death soon enough," Clare says. She kisses me and then gets off my lap walking to the washroom.
"How's she doing?" Adam asks when Clare's closed the washroom.
"I'm not sure, she doesn't seem like she's already defeated, I mean she hasn't talked about dying or giving up but she's really worried about the surgery and how long she's going to be here."
"Well that's an improvement anyway and of course she's worried about the surgery that's normal I'm sure anyone would be. At least she's fighting now and that's the important thing," Paige comments.
Clare comes out of the washroom in a casual dress and she sits on the sofa with me. We talk a little before our parents arrive all together. Helen starts crying as soon as she comes in the room and has to be pried away from Clare so Glen and my parents can hug her. Jake and Katie are flying out tomorrow and Eli will also be out tomorrow. Once everyone has hugged everyone else we go down to eat since everyone is hungry and it's almost dinner time. The cancer center has a cafeteria like any hospital but it's not your typical hospital food. They have professional chefs and nutritionists cooking the food. Everyone orders and we sit down at a table and begin eating.
"So what's the latest news?" Mom asks after a couple moments of silent eating.
"I'm going in for surgery at 6am tomorrow morning. They're going to remove the tumor, they said the cancer hadn't spread to my nymph lodes but it has spread to my kidney. After a little bit of time to heal from the surgery I start on an aggressive target radiation and chemo therapy treatment. They might have to remove the kidney if the cancer continues to spread. All together they predict that I'll be in here for four months," Clare informs them but her voice is dry and detached. Not like she's given up but like she's detaching herself from the whole situation. I think she's afraid to let herself feel or she's hiding it so she doesn't break down. Everyone is looking at her after clinical explanation, Clare goes back to eating and after a moment the rest of us go back to eating.
"They'll be reassessing her stay and condition every week. Her entire care team will meet every week, four months is just what they're thinking right now. But they said she'd have about three months of chemo and radiation so the rest of it I guess will be recovering from surgery and I'm not actually sure but they said we can ask questions any time. She'll have all kinds of other therapies too, I can't even remember them all," I add.
"Well that's good, it sounds like you're really well taken care of here," Glen comments.
"Everyone is, there's supportive therapies and things for Drew and all of Clare's support network," Adam tells them.
"That's nice; we could have used that the first time around. Watching Clare go through it all was very hard," Helen says.
"Yeah it's nice, it feels more like a family than a hospital. Right Clare?" I question and she looks up at me.
"Yeah, definitely more supportive than Toronto Western Pediatric Oncology ward," Clare nods.
Adam decides to take the focus off of Clare and her sickness and we start talking about what to do to transition us to Manhattan. Packing up the apartments and finding me a job, coordinating people for visits and people to stay with Clare when I can't. Now that we aren't talking about Clare's sickness and talking about how to support her and me and get through this she perks up a little bit. After eating we walk around the clinic a little to show the parents some of the things available at the clinic. We show them the memorial garden, library and resource room, rec room and rooms for classes and the fitness center before we go back to Clare's room.
"We're going to go check into our hotel but we'll be back in the morning for your surgery," Mom tells Clare and she smiles.
"Call us if you need anything," Dad says and we hug all the parents goodbye before they leave.
"I assume you'll be sleeping in Clare's room again and we want to be here first thing in the morning so we'll sleep in the apartment if you're not going to use it," Adam comments.
"Yeah I'm sleeping in here tonight for sure," I nod putting my arms around Clare and kissing her cheek. "I should get some clean clothes though I've been wearing these for two days now," I remark.
"I'll bring you some, we're going to run out for some essentials because we weren't planning on staying out here for two whole days," Adam says.
"You guys can go home, it will just be a lot of waiting around tomorrow," Clare tells them.
"No we're going to be here we just need to run out and get some things. We'll grab you some clean clothes and then run out," Adam replies.
"Thanks," I smile at my brother, they hug Clare before leaving and when they're gone Clare sits on the sofa. I sit next to next to her and put my arms around her again. Adam and Paige return after about twenty minutes with my toiletries and some clean clothes before they say goodnight. We just hold each other in silence until Dr. Shaye, Dr. Reddington and Dr. Kennedy come in along with a woman we haven't seen before.
"Good evening Drew and Clare this is Chelsea Carter she'll be your anesthesiologist tomorrow," Dr. Kennedy says. "We're here to talk to you about what to expect tomorrow for both of you," Dr. Kennedy tells us. For the next several minutes he tells us all about what will happen in Clare's surgery tomorrow and how long it will take. Chelsea, Dr. Shaye and Dr. Reddington all have things to add.
"It's all going to go fine tomorrow, you're going to be this," I reaffirm to Clare.
"I'm going to be unconscious for most of tomorrow. I'm not that tired can you hold me in bed while we watch a movie?"
"I will do anything you want," I reply with a grin kissing her temple.
We get up and get ready for bed quickly then we get in bed and I put on one of Clare's favorite movies. After the first movie we put on a second one and I fall asleep watching it. We get woken up when the anesthesiologist comes in. Clare is given a special gown to wear which she changes into in the washroom and I get dressed in the washroom. The anesthesiologist preps Clare for surgery and then leaves the room for a few minutes.
"Morning," Adam yawns when he and Paige come in.
"I'm surprised you got up so early," Clare says as they come over to hug her.
"We told you we would be here for you," Paige tells her just as the anesthesiologist comes back in.
Clare is rolled away for surgery and a nurse comes and shows us the waiting room is. We sit down and we wait. My parents and Clare's parents show up next and we wait again. After an hour Dad and Glen go down to the commissary to get coffee and some breakfast options for anyone that's hungry. Owen, Ashley, Jenna and K.C. show up after a couple of hours. Next to arrive, a little after eleven, is Eli. He walks into the waiting room, hugs Adam and Paige, greets everyone and then comes over to me. We look at each other a second and then embrace.
"Did she seem in good spirits this morning?" Eli asks.
"Yeah I think so but she was nervous too. I have to admit I'm terrified. I'm trying to be strong for her but I don't know what to expect. I wasn't around too much for the first time."
"I was, it was a bit of a roller coaster. Just don't break her out of the hospital this time," Eli teases and I smile.
Since it's lunch time Mom and Helen go to the commissary to get lunch for anyone who wants to eat. After a couple of more hours Jake and Katie show up, we greet them and give them an update. And it's back to waiting, and waiting, and waiting. They told us it would be six hours or more but it feels like an eternity. Finally Dr. Kennedy comes in.
"The surgery went very well, we removed the tumor and I don't expect any complications. Clare will be returned to her room in a few minutes and will start waking up within the next hour. I'll come check on her in about an hour. She'll need about a week to fully recover from the surgery before she starts on radiation or chemo therapy because we have to suppress her immune system for the chemo and radiation. I'll see you all in about an hour," Dr. Kennedy says leaving the room and we all go to Clare's room.
Clare gets wheeled in and we all have to make way. She gets put in her bed and I go over taking her hand in mine and sitting on the edge of her bed. Brushing some hair from her face I kiss my wife's forehead.
"We're going to get through this Clare; you're going to be this. I love you more than anything," I whisper to her and gently kiss her lips.
Again sorry it was such a short chapter for being the last one until January. This will return January 5th and begin with Clare waking up include the beginning of her treatments.