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'Skadarken-Weiz'
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Noise and Silence
005: Smile
It was years ago when I made that promise to myself.
I was only seven at that time and my little sister was five. Our father taught us in the sport he loved, and my sister showed great interest in it as well. We even used to spar at one another in our yard before, while our father kept shouting at us techniques and how our form should be. I didn't mind though. Unlike other siblings, we were very close and we never quarreled. I love my sister and I like spending time with her whenever I could.
But then it all changed one day.
It was almost sundown.
Hikari and I were playing at a nearby playground with some of my friends at school. I just returned after buying a drink for my sister and I when I saw the scene that I will never forget.
My friend hit my sister.
At that one moment, it was as if everything stopped. I could remember my mind going blank and hear nothing else but my heart, which seemed to make my chest tighter and tighter with every beat.
The image of my sister being hit and fall to the ground was enough to send my teeth scraping and my nails dig into my palms.
It didn't matter if he was my friend or not, all logic went away at that time. No matter what the reason may be, is that he made my sister cry.
He made Hikari CRY!
It didn't cross my mind that my sister was capable enough to hit that guy back because I was already holding him by the throat before she could stand.
Is this what people meant when they say they saw nothing but black? I think so, because as young as I am, something was tugging inside me. No, that feeling was nowhere near pleasant at all. My chest hurt so much as if my heart was being squeezed. It was cruel, very cruel, that feeling.
I didn't even realize what I was doing as I swung my fists around, kicking and punching, using all the knowledge my father taught me as I shoved him and his lackeys away. The only thing in my mind was that they hurt my sister, they made her cry and they MUST pay.
It was over when I knew it and the last thing I saw was them running away. I didn't even realize that I received my own share of scars and bruises.
Then as I turned to my sister, the way she looked at me, the expression she gave me was nothing like her bright smile and sunshine eyes. No, the look my dear sister gave me was… fear.
The look in her eyes says it all and the tears that flowed from the corners of her eyes fell even more. Then as I realized what I've done, the damage I caused and the result of my rage, Hikari fainted.
We went back home as she rested on my back.
Was it their fault? I shook my head, Mine? Probably but I didn't started it!
No, it's no use putting the blame on anyone. What's done is done and I never felt so sad and angry at the same time, even to myself.
That was it, wasn't it? She saw me in rage. She saw that manic look in my eyes and it tainted her innocent soul. She will never look at the same again. I should be ready for it the moment she wakes up. Hikari will see me as a monster now.
Then as I felt her arms hug me closer by my neck, as she gently whispered my name, I made a promise to never ever get angry again. I will not fight anymore, unless another fool would come and hurt my beloved sister then I will not hesitate to become that monster again if it meant to protect her. From now on, I'll be a pacifist and avoid all violence. Hikari will never see me angry again and I will never get mad at her. Even if she might not look at me as her brother anymore, even if she won't even look at me anymore, as long as I get to see that beautiful smile on my sister's lips, then it'll be worth it.
After that, I stopped sparring and taking lessons with my father
I knew something odd was happening when I woke up.
All I remembered was big brother's friend hitting me, then brother was beating up his friends, after that I saw something when I looked at brother and before I knew it, everything went black.
I woke up in my room the following day.
I couldn't understand.
Then something weird happened to big brother.
He stopped training with me and father, saying that he realized that he didn't like it and that he's not good at fighting but I know that's not true! He may have held back for me but I knew that when my big bro was practicing his moves on father's old punching bag, he was an incredible fighter.
Then he stopped sparring with me. I really don't understand why and he'd just lock himself up in his room, watch tv or read. My brother was really acting weird but he's still nice to me and he's nothing but kind and caring. I love my big brother but I can't help that somehow, he's acting that way because of me.
Why am I feeling this?
I was so young back then, too naïve, simple and innocent that my father occupied my thoughts about pro-wrestling and stuff. I was always busy with training and studying and even more when I met my rival Takishima.
My mind kept on the thought of beating him and becoming number one that I'd train more hours and sleep less just to study; that I didn't realize that my brother was there. He'd watch me train with a towel and a glass of water ready and when I'm pulling an all-nighter, he'd come up to my room and give me my favorite blend of hot chocolate before he goes to sleep.
Then I thought that whatever my brother's been going through, I know big bro can handle it because my brother is strong and wise. I'd be here for him if he needs me. It's been years and big brother is still as he was since that day when I woke up.
And until he's finished with whatever he'd dealing with or until he comes to me for help then I'd just stay as myself and give him the happiest smile I can give.
To Skadarken-Weiz: Here's your request as promise! Hoped you liked it!
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Ciao~!