I wanted to make up for that horrid unintentional hiatus, so here's a quick update for you guys. I felt like I've been giving you guys a bit too much of angst lately, so here's some pure silliness to lighten the load.
oOoOo
The kids are giggling.
Knowing this to be a potentially hazardous situation, Wanda halts her course down the upstairs hallway and backtracks, craning her head around the doorway into Cooper's room. The children face away from her, backs shaking with laughter as they huddle over something the older sibling holds. Faint strains of music come from the object, and Wanda can only assume it's a cell phone or iPod.
Lila cackles and Cooper ducks his head, trembling with laughter, and Wanda speaks up.
"What you doing?"
The kids whirl around and Lila jumps up, stumbling over her feet in an effort to reach Wanda. "Wanda! Wanda come watch this! Wanda it's so funny!" The small child drags Wanda over to her brother's side, forcing her to sit down on the soft carpet. Attempting to avoid the stray Legos spread across the floor, she crosses her legs and peers at the screen Cooper holds.
They've been watching a video of some kind. It's only one girl on the screen; dressed in a crop top and skinny jeans, her knees are bent and her rear is thrust out. As "Smack it smack it" blares from the iPod's speakers, she bounces her bottom to the beat, performing some kind of strange, apparently seductive dance. The kids collapse into laughter, and Wanda can't help but join in.
"What is this?" she questions, and Copper shrugs through his guffaws.
"It's called twerking!" he says. "Some kids at school showed me. It's funny!"
Wanda raises an eyebrow and continues watching the video, laughing helpless at the joy the kids derive from it. The video hops from short, six-second videos (she dimly remembers they're called 'Vines'), girl after girl getting down to the music, and there are even a few guys in the mix.
By the end of it, the kids have tears in their eyes from laughing so hard, and it's so infectious even Wanda's stomach hurts.
"Try it! Try it!" Lila urges Cooper, and he staggers upwards.
"Okay, okay, I got this," he says, and places his hands on the wall. Lila puts on some music, something poppy with a loud base-line, and Cooper squats down low. The girls dissolve into laughter as he begins to pop his bottom, doing his best to wiggle and move, and looking incredibly awkward. Lila stands up and gets next to him, and she's not any better. Soon they're just one laughing, helpless mess as the kids attempt to 'werk it', and Wanda can't help but chortle at the awkward hilarity.
"What is happening?" a voice comes from the doorway, and they all turn to see Pietro watching them, completely mystified.
So of course they sit him down and force him to watch the video, and he doesn't get the humor in it quite as much as the others, but he laughs pretty hard when he watches Lila and Cooper's best efforts.
"Well, you try it!" Cooper tells him.
Pietro stares him down for a second, pursing his lips, then stands up. "Fine, I will," he says, and adjusts his jeans. He melodramatically flips his hair, gives a boy-band look at Lila, and then settles against the wall. He nods at Wanda, who presses play on a random song, and Nicki Minaj blasts.
Apparently all those years of cardio to the extreme have given Pietro a pretty nice ass, because he can get down. He pops and wiggles to the beat with ease, bobbing his head up and down and sending over-the-top sultry looks towards the kids. His arms even come away from the wall, wind-milling slowly out to the side as he dances.
The others howl with laughter at the spectacle. Lila flops to the floor, Cooper holds his stomach, and Wanda has to swipe away at the tears rolling down her cheeks.
"You like that? You like it?" Pietro asks. He tries to keep a straight face, but his face bubbles with laughter at the end, and he has to duck his head to keep from dropping his character. He grunts out "seductively" to the tune, and begins to dance away from the wall.
"What the hell are you doing?!" Clint yells, and the kids whirl around to the doorway. He's planted solidly in the middle, hands on his hips and casting a stern eye over the occupants. Wanda fumbles with the iPod in shock, taking more than a few seconds to press pause, and Pietro nearly falls over as he attempts to stand up.
It's silent for a few seconds as Clint stares them down. Wanda isn't sure if she should be ashamed or not, but nobody says anything for a hot second.
Then Lila pipes up. "We were twerking, Daddy!"
"You were teaching my kids how to twerk?" Clint asks, directing his question at Pietro. He points a finger at Wanda.
"She was here first."
"Hey!" Wanda says.
"It's funny!" Cooper says, and Clint raises an eyebrow.
"That wasn't even any good," he says, and Pietro's jaw drops.
"Did you see me? I was masterful, Old Man," he scoffs.
Clint shakes his head and folds his arm, leaning against the doorway with all the world-weariness of Ebenezer Scrooge. "Nah."
Pietro gestures to the wall, stepping aside gallantly. "Please, be my guest. You try."
Clint peers at Pietro, then shrugs and steps forward. "All right."
The kids cheer with glee as Clint rolls his head and shoulders. "Twerk-ing con-test! Twerking con-test!" they chant, and Wanda presses play once more.
Clint gets right into it, dropping even lower than Pietro. His butt moves back and forth easily, thrusting on the beat. His hands are on his knees, and he even winds his torso in time with the music. All his days and nights working out and going on missions have apparently aided his body too, because his rear settles into the rhythm just as easily as Pietro.
Pietro sags against the wall with laughter, his shoulders shaking. Wanda and the kids can't help but lie on the ground, guffawing at the ludicrous sight, and the music blasts and Clint twerks and the room is loud and everything is perfect.
Until Laura speaks up. "What in the world is going on here?"
It's like a repeat of last time; the same fumbling and stumbling and awkward stammering. Except that in Clint's case, he freezes where he stands, rear extended and face flushed. "Uh, h-hey, babe!" he says.
Laura's face is disapproving, her arms crossed over her swollen belly, and Wanda swallows.
"How-" Clint's voice cracks and he clears his throat. "How much of that did you see?"
Laura stares at him silently for a moment, her eyes narrow, then holds up her cell-phone, camera app still open. "Most of it," she says, laughing, and the tension in the room dissolves with a sigh of relief.
Clint immediately drops back into the dance move again, backing up to her and grinding as best he can on her stomach. "You like it? Think it's nice?" he asks her, and she laughs as she shoves him away.
"Please, honey, we already have one child on the way," she says, but she taps his butt anyways.
Soon they pit the two men against each other in an epic twerking battle, and the room seems pretty split; Wanda, of course, on the side of Pietro, Laura on the side of her husband's particularly fine specimen of rear, and the kids fluctuate back and forth so often no verdict can really be reached.
Then Pietro pulls Wanda up and off the floor. "Come on, myshka, your turn," he says, and though she laughs and shakes her head, he forces her to stay standing.
The music changes to something a bit more slow, but still with that same heavy base-line, so it's a little more manageable. And since Pietro won't let her go and it's all in good fun, she gets low and goes for it.
She's not half-bad, truth be told; the workouts Natasha has her do and the grueling battles have paid off. She finds she can settle into an easy rhythm, and it's fun to wiggle with the best of them. Soon it's a twerking circle, comprised of Wanda, Pietro, Clint, and Lila. Laura laughs and videotapes the whole thing, egging them on.
And Cooper? Well…Cooper watches Wanda with wide eyes and a hot blush quickly spreading over his cheeks.
oOoOo
Later that night, long after the kids have gone to bed, Pietro steals downstairs to grab a glass of water. He tiptoes through the dark living room, only to see the kitchen light on. Music quietly plays over the radio, and Laura washes dishes at the sink. Clint watches her as he sharpens an arrow head at the counter. Pietro comes to a stop, not sure if he's interrupting anything, as they're engaged in soft conversation.
"…ending in well," he hears Laura say, and Clint hums in affirmation.
"They're doing pretty greatl."
"I'm glad," Laura sighs. "They deserve it."
Clint hums again, squinting down the tip of his arrow, and they lapse into an easy silence. Pietro is about to step forward when Laura turns towards her husband, a smug smile on her face.
"Honey?"
"Hmm?"
"Wanna do that twerking for me again?"
A smile slowly stretches across Clint's face, then he sets down the arrow and crosses to his wife. He steals behind her and wraps his hands around her, grabbing the area just below her stomach. He presses deep kisses into the nape of her neck, and she sighs into him.
"Ohh, you know I do," he says.
Pietro decides he can do without that glass of water.
oOoOo
Thanks for reading! Please drop me review and tell me what you thought.
Also, in response to Kelsocspanatarailka, I currently ship Clint and Laura with all my heart and soul. Fuck me sideways I love them so much. I used to ship Clintasha pretty hard, then Laura was in the scee for five minutes and I fell head over heels for this ship. They're pretty much the only people I really ship in the Avengers verse; sure, I ship the other canon people, but not nearly as hard. I don't know. Don't ship Bruce and Natasha, though. Sorry Joss :/