Today the Guardian was taking a break from her work for some relaxation. And right now, she was in the kitchen, screwing in a light bulb with Dana, Marcus and Salls watching her.
"And...we're done!" the Guardian said as the light bulb turned on.
Dana, Marcus, and Salls cheered. "Does anyone see this?" Marcus asked. "This is what a hero looks like right here."
Jennifer rushed into the kitchen. "Guys, you won't believe what I saw on T-" She saw the light bulb. "Weren't we out of light bulbs?"
"We were, so I used Gallifreyran technology to build one," the Guardian explained. "It will last a thousand years and the light it emits makes your skin softer. Anyway, why are you so panicked?"
"Mayor Befufftlefumpter is dead!" Jennifer exclaimed.
"Whoa, what?" Marcus asked.
"Shandra was just talking about it," Jennifer explained. "That man was the one who put my ma behind bars. Who knows if the next mayor will pardon her!" Tears came from her eyes.
Marcus walked over to Jennifer. "It's okay Jennifer," he said, patting her back. "And who knows? Maybe the next mayor will execute her."
Jennifer sniffled. "Thanks Marcus," she said.
Later that day, the citizens of Gravity Falls met up in the town hall. "Alright everyone," Chief Blubs said. "We're here to choose a mayor for the first time in almost a century. According to the town charter, a worthy candidate is defined as anyone who can cast a shadow, count to ten, and throw their hat into the provided ring. "
Officer Durland brought out a hoop and placed it on the floor. The citizens were wondering who should step up.
"I still have a really bad feeling about all of this," Jennifer said.
"I dunno," Salls said. "It not like we have a lot of good mayor options. Everyone in this town is a tad strange. Except, ironically, Tad Strange."
Speaking of Tad Strange, he was wearing a top hat and holding a black cane. He took off his hat and tossed it into the ring. "It looks like I fulfill all of the requirements," he said.
"You should run for mayor," Dana told the Guardian. "You would probably make a great mayor."
"You really think so?" the Guardian asked. Dana and Marcus happily nodded in response.
Tad walked up to the podium. "So since everyone is perfectly fine with me as the new mayor, I will take the oath of office-"
Suddenly, the Guardian threw her fez in the hoop, and everyone gasped. "Hold it right there!" she said. "I'm taking you on!"
"Silvia Pines?" Tad asked. "No offense, but you are too honest of a person. There is no way a person like you could win."
"Come on, everyone," the Guardian said. "Are we going to let some plain-old boring man win? How about a real election?"
With that, everyone wearing a hat threw them into the hoop. "Oh snap," Tad said. "It looks like we have a real competition. I am perfectly fine with that."
At the Surprise Hut, everyone was ready to support the Guardian. Marcus wore an American flag t-shirt, while Dana wore a yellow visor that read 'Silvia'.
"Alright everybody, eyes up here!" Dana said. She opened a rolled paper with a lot of dust coming out. "Gravity Falls Elections are based on two events. The Wednesday Stump Speech, held on an actual stump, and the Friday Debate wherein townsfolk throw birdseed at the candidate they like most. At the end, they release a freedom eagle who will fly to the candidate covered in more seed and bestow a birdly kiss upon him anointing him or her mayor." She frowned. "I couldn't make this up if I wanted to."
A phone rang. "Okay Guardian, are you ready for your first radio interview?" Marcus asked.
"Of course I am," the Guardian said as she answered the phone.
Voiceover: You're listening to Falls Radio: 24 hour news and bear rampage alerts, and now here's the Z-Man.
Z-Man: Alright! Silvia Pines, here's the first question. How do you feel about the American flag?
The Guardian: It's an amazing sight. The combination of Stars and Stripes proudly symbolize the hard work American ancestors fought for. It's so beautiful.
Z-Man: What would you do to help educate our kids?
The Guardian: Improve the school systems so they aren't as tough. After all, not all students need to be rushed through all four years of high school.
Z-Man: What would you do about the crime in Gravity Falls?
The Guardian: Punish all of the serious criminals to teach the troublemakers a lesson.
Some time later, the Guardian hung up, satisfied with her interview. "Cameron, what are the results?" Dana asked.
"Your approval ratings started at zero," Cameron told the Guardian. "Now they have gone off the chart." He flipped the laptop around and shows the Guardian's positive approval ratings.
"You're meme-ing fast, and all of them are good," William said, revealing a 'one does not simply' meme parody that highlighted the Guardian in a positive light.
That Wednesday, the woman biker was giving a stump speech. A sign hung across two trees saying 'General Mayoral Stumpston Speeches'.
"Education, bring it!" the woman biker said. "Prosperity, bring it! A Gravity Falls we can be proud of, BRING IT!"
The woman biker walked off the stage. "And now, Silvia Pines!" Chief Blubs said.
The Guardian entered through the curtains. "Hello everyone," she said. "I'm Silvia Pines. You may know me as the kind-hearted sales artist who runs the Surprise Hut. And let me tell you something. I might always miss Communism, but my aim is getting better!"
"Good!" a person in the audience exclaimed. "She's saying all the right things!"
"And yes, my opponent did say that I'm honest," the Guardian continued. "But isn't that what this town needs? An honest mayor? Elect me, and I promise to remain honest during my term!"
As the audience cheered, the Guardian happily walked off the stage. "Guardian, that was amazing!" Marcus said. He hugged her.
"Yeah!" Salls said. "How'd you do it?"
"Oh, it's nothing much," the Guardian said. "I opened my mouth and spoke from the heart."
And so, the Guardian continued to get praised by all of the different communities in the town. Newspapers ever showed that she eventually took the lead. But not everyone was happy with the results.
"This is terrible, Mr. Strange!" a male campaign supporter said. "Silvia Pines is skyrocketing the competition! We have to do something to get more supporters!"
"Hold on," Tad said. "No one is to blame for this disaster. Silvia is a natural when it comes to socializing. Who can blame her for that?"
"But Mr. Strange-" a female campaign supporter said.
"It doesn't matter though," Tad interrupted. "In the end, I'll still win. After all, it's for her."
"Who?" the female campaign supporter asked.
"My soon-to-be bride," Tad answered. "The lovely lady who won my heart. And soon, I will win over the hearts of this town. Whether they like it or not."
"Mr. Strange, you're not making any sense," the male campaign supporters said.
"Oh, you poor simple-minded man," Tad said. "There's a storm coming. A wonderful, wonderful storm. Too bad you won't be there to witness it."
Suddenly, Tad put on a gas mask and pressed a button under the table, activating deadly gas. "You're insane!" the male campaign supporter gasped.
"You have no idea," Tad said as his eyes briefly turned yellow with slitted pupils.
Soon Friday came. The final debate took place at Mayor Befufflethumper's memorial. Dana and Marcus were backstage, hoping the Guardian could actually win.
"Welcome all to the final debate in what sure to be on a cosmic scale a forgettable blip in human history," Shandra said as Tad, the Guardian, and the woman biker walked up to the stage. "And here come the three most popular candidates! Now, let the debate begin!" She rung a bell.
"First question," Manly Dan said. "What's your position on taxes?"
"Taxes are the worst," the Guardian said. "I propose we stimulate the economy by lowering them by 30%."
"Low taxes?" the woman biker asked. "Well I say bring it!"
"I suggest lowering them for every family income," Tad said. "But I will make an exception on wealthy families and close friends."
Some Time Later...
"And that is why the Statue of Liberty is the most important landmark in America," the Guardian concluded as her approval ratings go up and her bucket continued to get full of birdseed.
The timer finished counting down, and the mayor-picking eagle was set free. It cawed, flew overhead, and settled down near the Guardian, kissing her head. The audience cheered as fireworks went off.
That afternoon, Dana, Marcus, Jennifer, and the Guardian were watching the results on TV.
"This just in. Silvia Pines loses."
"WHAT?!" Jennifer exclaimed.
"Despite winning an overwhelming 95% of the vote, election officials had to disqualify her due to discovery that she had attended a non-American college. Due to this shocking development, it would appear the mayorship passes to the only candidate who filled out the proper paperwork: local normal guy Tad Strange."
"Aw, I'm sorry, Guardian," Dana said. "I actually think you as mayor would've been fun."
"Maybe it's for the best," the Guardian said. "Besides, how bad could Tad Strange being the mayor be?"
Meanwhile, in Gravity Falls prison, Bonnie walked up to a table, where she was greeted by Tad. "Hello Bonnie," he said. "It has been a long time since we saw each other."
"This better be quick," Bonnie said. "I promised my gal-pal Ghost Eyes we would make friendship bracelets in arts and crafts class today."
"Relax," Tad said. "This won't take long at all." His eyes briefly turned yellow with slitted pupils once more as he smirked.
Bonnie was in awe. "Darlin'?" she asked.
"Don't mind this simple skin," Tad said. "It's something I wear when I visit this humble little place."
"So did you get in like you promised?" Bonnie asked.
"Indeed I did," Tad answered. "And now Gravity Falls is ripe for the taking."
"Is that all why you came?" Bonnie asked.
"Not exactly," Tad continued. He took out a small box. "Every king needs a proper queen." He opened the box and held up a plain silver ring. "Will you do me the honor of being that queen?"
Bonnie was overjoyed. "Of course!" she said, letting Tad put the ring on her finger.
"Splendid," Tad said. "I shall work on the wedding preparations." With that, he left the room, leaving Bonnie with a genuine smile on her face.