[AN] fuck. it's been a month since my last update. sorry I'm such a lazy fuck. I haven't been going on walks in the forest lately, which I sometimes do to feed my aesthetic needs and garner inspiration, but alas, so much anime, so little motivation for anything productive. I've got a bad case of senioritis.

on the other hand, I kinda know where I'm going with this fic for at least the next few chapters so that's a start I guess? reviews and ideas would be totes appreciated.

I hope none of you think Nephele is a mary sue because she's a bit feminine(?) girly girls are girls too

and finally, thank you to those who have followed, favorited, reviewed, and read this fic. it's nice knowing people enjoy what I write, and that we all feel such profound love for the lovely franchise that is snk

Chapter 2: Daffodils

The titans never killed her mother. It was humanity that sent her off to her death.

Titans eat people. They don't deliberately kill them by doing so. However, humans are different. They are aware that their actions result in death. Humans are worse.

"Here, before I go, take this," murmured Ligeia, removing the necklace she wore and placing it around the neck of her daghter. Rather than a metallic chain, the pendant hung from a black leather cord, which rested between her breasts because of how long it was. The pendant itself was a geometric design composed of small circles, which altogether formed a hexagon, inside of a larger circle.

"What is it?" Nephele quietly asked, rubbing the metal between her fingers. It was ugly, far too simple for her tastes.

"The flower of life."

Nephele tucked the necklace safely in her shirt, where the cold metal gave her bare skin goose bumps.

"I have to go now," she finally said, uttering the ultimatum that both of them already knew. Ligeia wasn't going to promise that she'd be back.

"Yeah."

Ligeia placed a warm, soft hand on the top of Nephele's head, smiling down at her. "You're sixteen now. Take care of yourself and try to stay alive. Everything I do, I do for you, so don't let my actions go to waste," she said, tears brimming her eyes. In another world, another time, Ligeia would have been the source of inspiration for many writers of tragedy. No one wrote anything of substance anymore.

Looking up at her mother for the first time in weeks, Nephele nodded solemnly, her eyes unreadable. They seemed to have developed that almond shape she always wanted because of how narrowed they usually are.

"I will live for you."

Smiling sadly, her face contorting somewhat as she struggled to suppress her emotions, Ligeia bit her lip and shook her head. "No, sweetie. Live for yourself."

Then, Ligeia let her hand fall and turned away before Nephele could see her crying, not even daring to raise her hand to wipe away her tears. Nephele watched as she climbed on top of a horse, joining a giant congregation of weary, bleak individuals astride their own steeds and some on foot, and waited until she heard an officer give a mighty, noble speech about how brave these mock soldiers were, and that they will surely achieve their first victory against the titans. His words elicited a stark sense of despondency amongst the crowd of civilians and soon-to-be soldiers, in which almost all of Trost was deafened by the sound of one handed claps.

No one said a word, and no one moved to even swat at a fly. This was their fate; to be sent off as bait for the Titans. It was quite surprising that not a single individual caused a scene given the circumstances. They were probably already too terrified by the prospect of capital punishment to bother trying to defy the King's orders.

Nephele was on the front lines of the silent crowd of soon-to-be-orphaned children when suddenly she heard whispers among a few of the older teenagers who had just narrowly missed the age requirement to be drafted.

"I bet the government is just recruiting all of these people so that they have less to feed," one of the boys murmured into his friend's ear, his scraggily beard scratching the other's clean shaven cheek, who turned his head away to avoid the bristles.

"Tch. You can say that again. It's a fucked up thing to do, feed the titans instead of us, but at least they can end the food shortage this way. Less survivors, less mouths to feed," he muttered back, crossing his arms as he craned his neck to glare up at the officer who was standing on top of Wall Rose along with several others.

"It just sucks for the younger kids who are going to be left orphaned. Those kids are the real victims."

'Your parents are going to die, too.'

The fates of every family was written on their faces instead of in the stars. Far above the walls was the limitless sky. Nephele stared at it as it loomed over her, and everything else. If only she could build a kingdom in the sky, transcending the laws of physics and the titans themselves, where they would never reach her.

She bit down on her tongue and tasted metal. Her eyes squinted, but it wasn't from the sun. How could they not be crying?

Nephele screamed until it felt like her lungs withered. She fell to her knees, and she wanted to shatter the sky with her voice, hoping to build a staircase with its fragments and travel even farther away from this place until none of it mattered anymore.

All eyes were on her except for the eyes of Ligeia. Once the silence was broken, the discordant sounds of wailing children filled the air. Several leaped forward into the horses' and footsoldiers' path of travel, searching for the familiar faces of the ones who raised them. Their force was easily suppressed by several members of the Garrison holding them back, rounding them up like cattle.

How could people do this to each other? What gives anyone the right to send others off to die?

Blood flooded her mouth as Nephele ruthlessly bit down even further onto her tongue. At the age of sixteen, on the cobblestone road that led to hell, Nephele became an adult. The prospect of death stripped her of all ignorance and naivety. She knew who the enemy was.

Humanity.

She would climb to the top. She would join the MP, graduating at the top of her class, and then weasel her way into upperclass society. Then, she would slaughter and succeed those who were in power, those who issued the order to send her mother, and the mothers of so many others, to their inevitable deaths.

They can take her life and her family, but they can't take her dreams.

'Kill them all... To the last.'*

Not many flowers grew at the cadet corps. There were too many people bustling about during almost every hour of the day running drills for there to be any room for life beneath their feet. Dozens of pairs of military-issued boots were constantly kicking up the dirt and grass, which, on top of it all, was infertile. The earth was hideous, the landscape was hideous, and worst of all, the uniforms were hideous.

Nephele submitted somewhat and wore the attire issued to her, but the boots she refused to don. She opted for her favorite pair of black suede high heel boots. The heels were two inches, and yet she managed to maneuver in them better than if she were wearing any other footwear. To Nephele, it also seemed much more practical to wear them rather than the boots because she performed better in her heels anyways. She could walk in a perfectly straight line with her eyes closed in a pair of heels, but was unable to do so without them.

To pass the time by while the commanding officer -whose booming voice gave her a migraine- used various verbal and physical forms of intimidation on her fellow cadets, she began pulling off split ends on her hair, then letting the wind carry them away as it pleased. Soon, she ran out of dead hair, for it was already healthy and vibrant, so she started inspecting her nail beds. Grimacing, she wished they were pushed back a little bit more. She'd have to fix that once she had some free time.

When Nephele glanced up, she was surprised to see Commander Shadis bearing down on her like the almighty sun. Her expression betrayed her emotions, prompting Shadis to take advantage of her shock by screaming right into her face.

The saliva spewing from his mouth shocked her even more. She was utterly repulsed. There was nothing more disgusting than the human mouth, especially that of a weird old man like this guy.

"You! State your name and where you're from!" Shadis shouted, loud enough that her ears began to ring. It took every ounce of self-discipline not to punch him in the stomach.

"Nephele Ambrosia, a village near Shiganshina, sir," she briefly stated, her expression becoming placid once more as she saluted him. Her eyes were beginning to burn as he stared her down. His gaze then swept up and down her form, the travel his eyes underwent from her feet to her head being particularly brief. When he inspected her lower half, his eyes widened in disbelief as he noticed that she wasn't wearing the military-issued boots.

"Did you forget to change properly this morning, you underdeveloped shit?" he shouted again, hands behind his back where they usually were unless they were busy assaulting some poor, ignorant cadet. Nephele glanced down at her shoes, which were coated in a layer of dirt. She groaned inwardly.

"No, sir . I put these on deliberately, sir," Nephele said, trying to be at least somewhat passive with her sarcasm.

Shadis stared even more, hoping to instill fear and doubt in the girl, but even though she feared punishment like any sane person would, she tried not to show it. He'd only feed off of her fear and try to frighten her even more. "How do you expect to maneuver around in those? This ain't a fucking fashion show! This is the cadet corps. Here, if you don't take things seriously, you'll die from your impudence!"

Slowly but surely, Nephele's fear dwindled. It's just routine. Everyone gets verbally abused during their rite of passage, and this was no different, even if Shadis actually had something to complain about.

"I perform better in these than in any other pair of footwear that you could provide me with, sir," explained Nephele, still holding her salute.

"You'd do better without a pair of legs, you insignificant shit head! As you are now, you're nothing more than a pig waiting for slaughter."

'You said that already to that guy over there,' she thought.

Nephele decided to use the same tactic the other cadet had by agreeing with Shadis. "Of course, sir."

As satisfied as a man with a stick up his ass could be, Shadis gave her one last, condescending scoff before turning to his next victim.

Nephele pushed her sleeves up and rubbed one of her arms, trying to get rid of the goosebumps. Only then had it actually dawned on Nephele that she was a cadet. That was it, her rite of passage. Now, all that was left to do was graduate in the top ten, join the Military Police, and make this dystopic government implode.

She just didn't know how to achieve that goal, but the devil's in the details.

* this is actually what Eren says when he refers to wanting to kill the titans. in Japanese, the way he says "to the last" (ippiki nokorazu), is a way of showing his hatred for the titans. in the phrase, ippiki kind of refers to small animals and bugs. in other words, Nephele also feels the same hatred towards the current government as Eren does towards titans.