[AN] once again, I'm sorry for not updating sooner. feel free to yell at me...

thanks to all of you who have followed and favorited, and especially to Kenraknom and KiraKiraBluemoon. enjoy!

When I was young my dad would always say
'The darkest night's before the brightest day.'
I found my way but it was just dumb luck.
It took me laying on my back
To start looking up.

'Long October,' Handguns

Chapter 5: Wildflowers

The week passed by without notice, due to the mundanity of the Cadet's routine. Their schedules hardly ever changed, so they quickly lost track of the days, though never track of time. Time ruled them.

Thus, when the Survey Corps arrived, the Cadet's were surprised, like they had fallen asleep and had only just woken up. None of their superiors ever spoke of it, so the arrival snuck up on them. It seemed like the Survey Corps were taboo because of their lack of success and high mortality rate.

The cloaks of the Survey Corps fluttered behind them like wings of emerald green. Most of the company of cadets were silent with trepidation, and, for some, hushed admiration and awe. Nephele was among those who were petrified from amazement. These were the best warriors cultivated by humankind. Better than the MPs, whose members could only consist of those ranked in the top ten of their class, though whose skills were worn away after time wasted on menial tasks in the interior rather than honed on the battlefield.

The soldiers' battle-hardened bodies told stories of their grim experiences, from the lines on their faces, to the dark circles under their eyes, to the stubs on one man's hand where his pinky and index fingers used to be.

Nephele wondered what their names were, but she realized she would soon find out when Shadis's booming voice shattered the stunned and awkward silence.

"Listen up! For the next three weeks, you impudent shits are going to have the honor of being trained by humanity's elite." The sarcasm and contempt in Shadis's words were even more prevalent than usual. "On my left is Commander Erwin, on my right is Captain Levi, and next to him is squad leader Hange," he announced, though didn't seem like he was acknowledging them. Behind the superiors was a group of five soldiers of the Survey Corps that Shadis didn't address.

Commander Erwin and Captain Levi were legendary names, even among the people of her village years ago. Hange, however, was unfamiliar. The Commander lived well up to to his name, and was everything Nephele imagined him to be. She'd never openly admit it, but Erwin was often the knight of her young, idealistic fantasies. Even in her dreams, Erwin was blonde, tall, and stoic, though of course there were many details about him that she hadn't predicted, like how strong his jaw was, and how the white shirt of his uniform hugged his tight muscles, the fabric almost diaphanous enough for her to see through-

"Ambrosia?"

Armin placed a small hand on Nephele's shoulder to get her attention. Shadis had finished speaking, and the cadets were saluting their officers after they had been dismissed. They were about to march back to the rec hall for lunch, and Armin and Nephele were in the front row.

"Sorry," apologized Nephele with a demure smile as she quickly saluted along with everyone else. She saw Shadis eye her with disapproval, so she adopted the stoic expression of a good soldier and she and those beside her led the procession while those behind followed. Their footsteps synchronized instantly from months of practice, and the drumming of everyone else's boots on the hard packed dirt was all Nephele could hear. Her heels were silent on this kind of terrain, which was an odd comfort for her. Nephele felt like it slightly distinguished her from the ones to follow; the little toy soldiers, all in neat, alphabetical rows.

Trying to catch one last glimpse of Commander Erwin, she noticed the man standing beside him. It was, according to Shadis, Captain Levi. Unlike Erwin, Levi was nothing she imagined him to be. Humanity's Strongest Soldier was a pipsqueak with an attitude, barely above 160 centimeters, and seemed, even from a distance, to be pretentious and condescending. Though most stood above him, it seemed like Levi looked down on them all, save Commander Erwin, whom he seemed to show respect for. The way Levi tilted his head in Erwin's direction and quirked his brow at his remarks was somehow much different from the way he looked at everyone else. Nephele was glad he didn't send his gaze in her direction.

She marched to the beat of two hundred footsteps and didn't look back.

It had been a long time since Levi wandered the halls of the Southern Division Trainee's Squad. Every so often, Erwin would bring a few of his high-ranking officers with him to each division to help train cadets in the art of titan slaying, give information on the Survey Corps, and -though it was an unspoken goal- convince the idiots to join. Erwin had shown particular interest in the Southern Division because of the prowess of several cadets there. No doubt he wanted to refine their abilities into something he could use and recruit them into joining his ranks.

Levi flipped through the documents on the cadets that Erwin was interested in as they walked to the more comfortable quarters that those of higher rank stayed. Shadis's quarters were in a different area with the rest of the Division's instructors.

"This Mikasa Ackerman seems to be all the rage among the instructors," said Levi as he read her file, particularly the section where Shadis and his staff commented on. He recognized Shadis's messy handwriting, a product of the arthritis in his hands.

"They say she shows even more potential than you did," Erwin remarked, his deadpan expression betraying no hint of ill-will. He had already read all the paperwork, and was familiar with every phrase written on them.

Levi was unperturbed, exactly as Erwin expected him to be. "Yes, I read that part, courtesy of Corporal Bayer." Of course, Levi was familiar with most of the documents as well.

"She's our top priority. I know you hate these sort of things, but please try not to cause any trouble," Erwin admonished, casting a sideways, downward glance at the shorter man beside him. "This one," Erwin continued, handing Levi the file on Eren Jäger, "is Mikasa Ackerman's adoptive brother. The two are close, and it seems that Jäger has Ackerman's unwavering loyalty."

Though Eren's abilities were only slightly above average, his instructors praised his passion and initiative, which Levi was most interested in. As he read on, it became apparent that Jäger was hell-bent on joining the Scouts, and was driven by an almost terrifying hatred of titans.

"I see. However, I feel that we should instead focus on trying to recruit other trainees," Levi suggested, handing the papers back to Erwin.

"What made you come to that conclusion?" Erwin inquired, though there was no doubt in his mind that Levi had thought this through.

"Because wherever Jäger goes, his sister will follow. The only reason she applied to the Trainee's is most likely because of him," he said. The pair finally arrived at Erwin's quarters, and when the blonde unlocked the door with the key he had been given, Levi followed him inside. He swept his gaze across the room, his perceptive eyes missing not a speck of dust, and sneered. "Don't people realize that just because there's no one to make a mess doesn't mean that the room will stay clean? It's like they think dust is a myth," Levi muttered, stepping further into the room to run his fingertip over the oak desk. He scowled at the dust that collected on his finger like it was a dangerous pathogen.

"I'll be sure to have it clean next time you visit," Erwin promised with a slight smile.

"It better be spotless."

As Levi continued scrutinizing the small room, rearranging the military books stacked up on the bookshelves and muttering to himself about negligence and laziness, Erwin strode over to the desk and lowered himself into the leather chair. He set down the large stack of papers on the mostly bare surface and began flipping through them with his thumb and forefinger to ensure that they were in alphabetical order. He had copies of all the top twenty cadets and a few lower ranked trainees whose talents were in the classroom.

"We still have plenty of other cadets to choose from," Erwin reassured. He would have to investigate further into Ackerman and Jäger's relationship to ascertain whether he would have to get involved in her recruitment.

"Nephele Ambrosia," Levi suddenly murmured, looking up from the bookshelf. There were trails in the dust that he had paved with his fingers on the wooden shelves.

"Ah, yes," Erwin mused, procuring a piece of parchment from one of the desk drawers and dipping a quill into the complimentary jar of ink. "She's scored as second in her class. Odd name, too."

"I want her."

As silent as Erwin's own shadow, Levi came to stand in front of his desk, his hand on his hip as he looked down at Erwin. His chin was haughtily tilted up this time, which he hardly ever did towards Erwin. Everyone else, yes, but not Erwin.

"Why are you so insistent?" Erwin asked, his quill forgotten and bleeding ink onto the parchment, blotting out several of his precise, neatly written words. He'd have to rewrite it all.

Sighing, Levi's other hand found his other hip, and he shifted his weight onto his left leg.

"She's got a nice ass. Why do you think?"

"I'm not a mind reader." Although Levi was being disrespectful to his superior, Erwin seemed nonplussed. Because of his circumstances, Levi was often exempted from certain rules and proper behavior.

Levi's expression was hardly anything other than that of distaste. Sometimes though, his cold, steel eyes would flicker with some unidentifiable emotion, like when someone wakes him up in the morning and his eyes are glazed over with fatigue, or when he's riding his horse, driving it in a straight line towards titan territory and lets his mind wander behind him in the past, or when it rained. This was one of those moments, but Erwin had no idea what the trigger was this time.

This time, it wasn't even a flicker. This time, it was a spark.

Levi looked away and focused on a dusty, secluded corner of the rom. The angle was stitched together by a spider web. It swayed; a fly was entangled in the sticky threads, and was trying to pull free.

"She was wearing Ligeia's necklace."

Mikasa was getting her tanks refilled at the armory when she was summoned by one of Erwin's inferiors. She glanced up as soon as she sensed the presence of another person in the room, still tightening the knob to one her tanks. The brunette was as poised as a courier ought to be, his salute strong and his tone polite.

"Commander Erwin of the Scouts Regiment requests your presence," he said, his salute never faltering. "If you would follow me, please." It seemed like Mikasa had no choice. While she was deferential, she was by no means obsequious. As a soldier, she had certain duties to fulfill, even if she didn't feel up to the task.

Rising from the wooden crate that she was resting on, Mikasa brushed her pants of the dirt and dust that had accumulated on them. There was dust everywhere; blanketing the tables and dancing in the rays of sunlight filtering through the small windows high above their heads. The armory was a large room with many different nooks and crannies, and the cadets took turns cleaning it every night. By morning, a layer of dust would already be draped over the equipment and floor, and it usually took about four hours to be cleaned. The task was one of the most dreaded.

As silent as the dust that thickened the stale air, Mikasa followed the messenger out of the armory and back into the straight and narrow hallways. She prefered the armory; she appreciated its entropy.

Neither of the two said a word until they reached Erwin's quarters. Mikasa had no previous knowledge of where it was, but when they arrived, she labeled the room in her mental map of the cadet corps facilities. It was no wonder to her why she had been summoned.

"These are Commaner Erwin's quarters," announced the young man, who knocked on the oak door with the back of his hand. "Commander Erwin. I have brought Mikasa Ackerman as requested."

The floorboards creaked beneath Erwin's boots as he strode over to the door, the tapping of their soles as steady as the beat of a single heart. The door was of dark, polished spruce, the most abundant flora species in the area. The door knob was brass. It seemed that even the rooms reserved for commanding officers were built with the same materials as the rest. Mikasa speculated that this was because of their fixed budget. Even those of higher rank and status in the military couldn't afford luxuries unless they were in the MP.

Mikasa was front row to see the arrival of the Survey Corps the day before, and her first impression of Erwin was that he was a calculating and bold individual. She had paid close attention to his brief speech yesterday in case it concerned Eren's welfare, for she had already known what the Survey Corps intentions were in coming to visit the Cadets. Erwin had only announced that he and his officers would be assisting with the training of cadets in the art of slaying titans, and holding seminars discussing the Survey Corps and their goals. Those that were by his side had remained silent.

Now, she still had the same impression of Erwin. She decided that he was a difficult man to get to know and understand, but once you did it wouldn't be hard to guess his motives and judgement.

"Mikasa Ackerman," Erwin acknowledged with a small and polite smile, one that didn't reach his eyes but was appropriate enough for formal conversation. "Thank you for joining me." Next, he addressed his inferior with a simple, "You're dismissed," and waited for the man to salute him and leave.

"May I ask why you summoned me, sir?" she inquired, waiting for his permission to enter the room, or do anything for that matter.

"Of course. But first, come in and make yourself comfortable," he said, opening the door further so that she could step inside. He made his way over to the desk - which was cluttered with documents and files - and motioned for her to sit in the leather chair on the other side of it. She did as instructed, lowering herself into the uncomfortable seat.

"Can I get you something to drink?" Erwin asked, folding his hands in front of him.

"No thank you, sir."

"Very well. Can I interest you in some information?"

This took Mikasa off guard, though her stoic expression suggested otherwise. What information could Erwin possibly offer that could be of any interest to her? The only thing that mattered to Mikasa was-

"Your adoptive brother Eren Jäger has already come to me asking for a spot in the Survey Corps."

Of course. They already knew about their relationship, and were going to use it to their advantage. The military were scum: exploitive scum.

"You're probably wondering what my response was. I told him that once he graduates, he can make that decision for himself, but until then he should focus on his training," Erwin continued. "And now you're wondering why I'm even telling you this."

"What is it that you want from me, sir?" Perhaps her question was a bit imprudent, but she at least remembered to tack on the word 'sir' at the end of her sentence.

Erwin leaned forward in his chair, his expression unreadable. "I want you to at least consider joining him."

Mikasa already knew what her answer would be before she walked into that room. She glanced at the door, then back at Erwin, and abandoned all formalities.

"Wherever Eren goes, I will follow. You and your officers must know that by now," she answered, unblinking. Erwin noticed her jaw stiffen as the light refracted from her eyes, and decided to change his stance.

"This isn't anything personal," Erwin assured, intertwining his fingers. "We're low on numbers - lower than usual - and you're one of the strongest cadets we've ever heard of. We'd like to see your abilities firsthand, but according to your instructors' reports, you're talent is unprecedented. You could make a great difference in the fight for humanity's freedom."

"I've already given you my answer," Mikasa muttered. Ever since she agreed to join the Cadets with Eren and Armin, she had known that in the end she would follow him to the Survey Corps. Eren's determination was as unwavering as her loyalty, which was why her impending recruitment into the Scouts was inevitable.

It seemed that Levi's predictions were as infallible as ever. Erwin knew that he was taking advantage of the love that Mikasa had for her adoptive brother, but if he had to exploit her emotions in order to get her to join, he'd do so without question. He had done worse for better reasons before. It seemed that no exploitation was necessary this time, however.

"Very well." Erwin stood from his chair and remained like that for a few more moments. "I will be assigning Captain Levi to be your personal instructor for the next few weeks," he said, giving her no room for negotiation. "You will meet with him in the western training field tomorrow morning at 0600." He walked around his desk and came to her chair, holding out his hand for her to take. She took it, giving him a firm and steady shake, her eyes locked on his.

"Is there anything else you'd like to request of me, sir?" she asked, not a hint of sarcasm detectable in her voice. It was all in the connotation of her words: their formality. She rose from her chair, glad to no longer be sitting down. She disliked their difference in height and how he loomed over her.

"That'll be all, Ackerman." Erwin went to the door and opened it for her, suggesting that it was time for her to leave. "We'll be seeing each other soon."

'How fortunate.'

The air in Erwin's quarters had been even more thick than it was in the armory. Once she was back in the empty hallway, she took a deep breath and headed back to the armory to get her the tanks she had left behind.

Nephele lifted her flat, useless pillow and stared at the wilting bluebells that were beneath it. The brittle leaves had already crumbled off of their stems, which were starting to turn brown. The petals were almost completely drained of color, with only their tips dipped in the mauve hue her mother was so fond of. She pulled the thin blanket over her head and gathered the decaying flowers into one hand and ripped off their petals with the other.

Sasha was snoring loudly in the bunk beneath hers. The barracks were almost completely dark, but were alive with the cacophonous and lulling sounds of slumber. Her feet were cold, and the sleep wear she had been issued was itchy and two sizes too big. She ran out of petals and stuffed the bluebells' remains back under the pillow. She was exhausted, but she couldn't get very comfortable on that stiff mattress.

Nephele felt restless. She wanted to feel grass beneath her feet and the moonlight on her skin, so she ditched the heels and went out barefoot. It'd be easier to sneak out without all that noise anyways. She changed into a loose black shirt and a pair of gray slacks, checked the room to ensure that no one else was awake, and slowly opened the door so that it wouldn't creak.

Her heart was pounding against her ribcage. She usually didn't do things like this. Although sneaking out of the barracks was nothing compared to the treason she would be committing once she joined the Military Police, she was anxious about getting caught. What if they kicked her out of the Trainees?

'Fuck, fuck, fuck. This is so stupid.' Her thoughts were pounding against her skull, too.

Maneuvering the hallways was difficult with such scarce light. The dim sconces provided even less light than the full moon, whose light danced through the glass windows more elegantly than the sun's does. She was too busy staring out the window and gazing at the stars, wondering what they were, where they were, and what their names were to notice the figure silhouetted against the candle light.

"Where are you going?"

It didn't sound like a casual question. It sounded like an interrogation. Nephele's eyes flickered like the small flames of the candles around them to the man addressing her. She couldn't recognize him at first, and if it weren't for the deep, husky voice, she might have thought it was a woman speaking to her. because of his short stature and the hand resting on his hip.

"Bathroom," she replied, managing an even tone. She wouldn't be surprised if her heart was loud enough to give her away.

The moonlight was shining on Nephele's ivory face, making her tendrils of deep red hair seem to glow like fire. Levi stepped into the light, and Nephele froze as he assessed her. His gaze was so strong that it would have put the sun's brilliance to shame.

For several moments, the two said nothing. Levi had inevitably seen through Nephele's poor attempt at deceit, and rolled his eyes at her excuse, scoffing indignantly.

"That's shit," he muttered, and he said it so casually that Nephele wondered if the irony was unintentional. "You were sneaking out." He didn't phrase it as a question because he was so sure that this was the case. Nephele frowned, knowing that lying any more would make her situation even worse. She looked at her feet, which were bare once again.

"Yes, sir," she responded, lifting her head to stare him in the eyes as she confessed. "I couldn't sleep, so I-"

Levi cut her off with a sharp, "So you snuck out without permission, an act that may be punishable by dishonorable discharge depending on how your officer is feeling?"

Nephele wanted to lower her gaze once more, but she didn't want to come off as impertinent when she was already in trouble.

"Yes, sir."

Levi dragged a hand down the side of his face, his fingers tracing his cheekbone until reaching his chin. His brows were more furrowed than usual as he debated with himself on whether or not to report this to the higher ups. If he said all the right things, he could get her kicked out of the Cadets. He could keep the last good thing left of his past alive.

But it was her choice to die, her choice to forfeit her life for something she believed in. Joining the Garrison or the Military Police used to be safe several years ago, but not anymore. This is true especially for the Garrison, though Levi wouldn't be surprised if one day the Military Police as well are sent to the front lines. If Wall Rose fell, they'd be tasked with protecting Wall Sina.

He wondered what regiment she wanted to join, and why.

"Don't call me 'sir.'" Levi said the word like it was an insult to him. With an audible sigh, he let his hand fall from his face to dangle by his side. "And don't sneak out of your barracks without telling me."

Nephele was stunned.

"But I-"

"What are you, twelve?" he admonished, casting a sideways glance at her as he began to turn around. "Don't begin a sentence with the word 'but.' If you want to feel the grass beneath your feet every once in a while without one of your officers breathing down your neck and barking orders, find me."

His name was Levi. Just Levi. He had eyes the color of the blades he wielded and hair darker than black. He was a Captain of the Survey Corps, and looked good in green. He wore a cravat with his uniform, and didn't do well with authority. He was sarcastic, crass, and rude, but he was kind. Levi was a volcano; he was cold and hard on the surface, but underneath boiled a passion almost as hot as the sun, and it threatened to explode whenever someone cracked the surface.

That was all Nephele knew about him, and she wanted to know more.

"Do you want to go outside, too?"

He stopped. He tilted his head at her and raised a thin brow, his eyes sharper than those blades now. She was bewildered by the way the light danced in his irises the same way it refracts off of steel.

Levi had noticed that she hadn't necessarily given him a direct invitation to join her because it was too soon for that kind of informality. If, however, she had asked him to go with her, although he wouldn't have even considered it, he would have thought about what it might be like to share the company of someone else.

"I have work to do. Go already, before someone catches you." He had no intentions of escorting her out of the building, merely hoping that she wasn't stupid enough to get caught. If she did, it was out of his hands. He wasn't some babysitter, so if she got her ass in trouble, he wouldn't be to blame.

"Thank you, Captain."

…

Nephele was unfamiliar with the names of stars. She never bothered trying to give them names, deeming them too holy to be given honorifics by those beneath them. On that night, as she sat on the valley bluff trimmed with bluebells and wildflowers, she looked up at the sky and all of the stars suddenly had names. They shined like his eyes, and their names were Levi.