Heart of Dixon

Chapter 5: Tug-o-War Round 1

This chapter is shorter than before, I took out a good chunk of stuff because it messed with the flow. Anyway enjoy!

I don't own the Walking Dead. Now enjoy this chapter.

Not many got rest last night, we all lost someone: friends or family. Except for me, my family was already completely lost to me. All I ever had were my brothers, Jacob and Erin. Yes, I had another brother, I'd lost him long before this happened, with him I lost my whole family. He died because my mother was careless, so she might as well have been dead to me too. After Erin died only Jacob mattered to me, he was the only family I kept contact with.

I was currently dragging half-eaten and half-decomposed corpses around camp, just how I love to start my morning. Daryl, Jim, Jacqui, T-Dog, Morales, Glenn, and I were doing most of the clean-up. We dragged bodies away from the campsite for Daryl to bash in the heads of the bitten, then we piled them up on Daryl's truck. Which was kind of him, by the way, to offer up his truck even though he was grumbling a lot. Shane was busy giving Rick a guilt trip while Lori and Dale were trying to comfort Andrea who had lost Amy.

I found it was rather difficult working in close proximity to Daryl. I kept getting distracted, I couldn't help but watch his arms flex when he moved. I've always been a sucker for big arms, and I was falling in love with his arms. His arms weren't the only delicious part of him, his eyes were…wow and his rugged face...yum! Oh God, I sound like a freaking teenage girl.

"What the hell ya starin' at, girl?" A gruff voice brought me out of my daydreams. I almost died out of embarrassment, while I was busy admiring Daryl I'd been using my shovel as a prop to lean against rather then to dig with. I jumped startled and managed to trip on who knows what, then fell back on my butt. The shovel came down smacking me right on the head.

"Ow!" I rubbed my forehead. I heard him chuckle before coming over and helping me up.

"That's what ya get for zoning out like a damn fool." Daryl went off back to his work. I tried to go back to mine but you see, it was his arms, they were just so hot. They made me weak and stupid thinking about them holding me down. With that I felt heat spread throughout my body, when was the last time I got laid? Right, it was about a few days before my boyfriend kicked me out. I couldn't help but wonder what kind of lover Daryl was.

"What ya starin' at now?" Daryl snapped. He was giving me an aggravated look with his signature, sexy narrowed gaze.

"What? Staring…I wasn't starring. I was…uh…um..." I stuttered. Smooth…Robin, real smooth.

"You were what then?" He towered above me looking down at me. I guess trying to be intimidating but really I could only be turned on. Ok, maybe a tiny bit scared.

"I was wondering…" Think Robin, think! "About what happened to Merle?" I rushed out. Glenn had told me this morning about what happened. Merle managed to cut off his own hand, which Daryl found and put in his backpack (strange I know), then Glenn was kidnapped by Good Samaritan gangsters (they were taking care of the elderly in an abandoned nursing home) wanting to trade Glenn for the guns Rick and I got from his old sheriff office. I knew all about it but it was all I could think of at that moment.

Daryl's eyes narrowed more to where his they almost looked closed. Awesome job Robin, you just made him angrier. Just freaking admit you were staring at his arms carved by the gods.

"You want ta know?" He growled.

"Yeah." I squeaked weakly. I shrunk a little under his gaze.

"Y'all fuckin' left my brother handcuffed on a roof and he sawed off his fuckin' hand!" He yelled. I flinched slightly when he yelled but I didn't scramble away like he wanted. He continued to tower above me, my nose almost touching his chest he was so close. He stared down at me with angry eyes, panting like a wild man.

"I'm sorry." I spoke quietly.

"You're…you're sorry?" His face turned slightly confused then back to angry in a blink of the eye.

"Yea, I am." I said slowly, I was confused about his mood change. First the man was angry, then nice, then angry again, next he was confused then we're right back to angry.

Daryl didn't say anything as he studied me, I felt awkward under his stare. I felt heat settle in my cheeks as his eyes darted over my face then…over my body? Did he just check me out? No, he may have just glanced but it wasn't like he was attracted or anything...was he?

I tried to get back to work but Daryl just watched, "I hope he's alright. The man seems like he wouldn't just let blood loss kill him."

"Why do you care?" He scowled.

I shrugged, "Why shouldn't I? Yea, the man's rough around the edges but he can't be all bad."

"What? You like him or somthin'?" He scowled even more as we dragged another dead group member over to the pile where he would bash in their brains making sure they didn't come back. I didn't answer him because I was looking at the pile of bodies that once belonged to our group. I frowned when I saw the body of a small child.

"Hey, you answer me!" He threw the body of a man down. I didn't flinch as I stared forlornly at the child.

Daryl marched over to my side but stopped when he noticed what I was staring at. We stood there silently looking down at the little boy who couldn't be more than seven. He was bitten deep on his neck and over his arms. His beautiful blond hair was matted to his head with blood. A tear ran down my face. Daryl shifted uncomfortably beside me, I guess he saw the tear.

"I need ta make sure he doesn't come back." Daryl said quietly holding up the pickaxe.

I spun around gripping the axe, "Not with this. It's too cruel." I pleaded.

"He's dead." He didn't say it harshly to me, it was soft like before.

"I know, but it's just wrong." I looked down at the boy, "He lived through this hell only to die in the most horrible way. You could at least show him that little kindness."

Daryl simply nodded then leaned over the small body blocking my view, I saw him pull a knife out of his belt then I heard a small crunch. He wiped the blade off on a rag that was hanging from his back pocket then placed the knife back in his belt. When he stood up, I could see the child's body, I didn't see where he could have stabbed the child. I looked at him curiously, did he do it?

He just nodded curtly, not giving me the details. I was happy he didn't, I didn't think I even wanted to know. Daryl handed me a sheet, "You want to wrap him up?"

I nodded to him. I knelt unfolding the sheet and pulled the small form onto the sheet. Gently I pulled the edges around his body and tucked it in under. I sniffed a bit, children were my weakness. Since this all started, I had the hardest time killing walkers that were once children. I saw Erin's face in each child.

"Were you a mom?" He asked as a tied the sheet with a rope carefully.

"No." I shook my head, "Why do you ask?" I looked up at him.

He shrugged and replied, "You just got that motherly tone about the kid and you're all emotional about it. I thought only women who have kids get that way."

"I don't have to be a mom to feel sympathy for children, though it might be a maternal instinct." I explained, "I get emotional because this boy shouldn't have had to go through something like this. He shouldn't have died…he shouldn't have to experience any of this. No child should fear for their life every day."

Daryl watched me intensely as I said that. I felt awkward again under his gaze. His blue eyes were narrowed the whole time. Maybe he was trying to make out what sort of person I was. After a minute, he gave me what I'd like to think was an approving nod.

"You never answered me." He said bringing the pickaxe down on a corpse's head.

"About what?" I asked.

"Do ya like Merle?" Daryl was hesitant this time.

"I don't really know Merle." I laughed, "But he doesn't really seem like my type."

"And what type is he? Redneck, trash, hillbilly… We ain't good enough for you? I bet you like them pretty boys like Shane" As he spoke he became more and more agitated. God, I swear his mood changes were giving me whiplash.

"I was going to go with racist and sexist." I was annoyed. Stop jumping to fucking conclusions, "I'll have you know, sir, that I was raised by what you like to call rednecks. My grandparents were good, God-fearing people who weren't afraid of hard work. The whole town looked down on them because they didn't wear the nicest of clothes or have the most luxurious houses or cars. They thought they were better than my family, but they were all two-timing hypocrites who preached the Bible to your face then as soon as your back was turned they were talking about you."

"My family was the nicest people around. They were thankful for what they had. They taught me about God, family values, and love. When my mom was off chasing her next boyfriend my grandparents were taking care of my brothers and me. Mr. Dixon, there's nothing wrong with rednecks. I just don't like racist or sexist people." I huffed. I think I made my point.

Daryl stared me down and I stared back up at him. How many times are we going do to this today? He seemed like he was sorry but he didn't want to say it aloud. Daryl wanted to be mad right now. He lost his brother and the only way to cope was taking it out on everyone. Though I felt it go deeper than that, everything was cool until I mentioned types. I guess it made Daryl feel self-conscious. That confused me greatly because he didn't have a reason to feel that way.

"So are you going to let it go or are we just going to stand here and do the tango?" I asked suddenly.

"What?" Now he seemed too confused to be angry at me. I tried to control my laughter but when he quirked his brow, it made the laughter break loose.

"Don't laugh at me! You're just a damn weird girl." He yelled.

"Oh, you don't know the half of it." I laughed loudly clutching my side. Looking up, I saw a corner of his mouth tilt up into a tiny smile. I smiled big, probably goofy too, back up at him.

"Sorry about that. It was just getting too tense. I thought if I didn't say anything we'd break out fighting like in Mortal Combat or Highlander."

He laughed lightly at the reference, "Bet the law men would love that."

"They're too distracted with each other. Ever since we got here it has been tense between Rick, Shane, and Lori. I sense a disturbance in the force. We're going to have a lot of drama coming our way from them."

"Hate goddamn drama, they can fuckin' keep it." He grunted. As we spoke we could see said drama unfolding between Shane and Rick as they discussed what we did next. Shane wanted to do one thing and Rick wanted to do another. I didn't know the full details about all of it and I doubt I wanted to.

"Amen to that." I agreed before we got back to work, it wasn't long until Daryl spoke up again.

"What ya think is happening between those two?" He looked over to me. I stopped for a minute to watch Lori, Shane, and Rick for a moment.

"Love triangle." I said simply.

"Love triangle? What the fuck is that?" He grunted; his brows knit together in confusion.

"It's when two people want the same girl or boy, if it's two girls fighting." I laughed lightly. He brought the pickaxe down on another head and when finished I was bending down to wrap the body up when Daryl asked another question.

"How ya know it's a love triangle thingy?"

"I know body language. Look at them, see how Shane looks at Lori, it's possessive. When Rick gets near her, Shane's body tenses and he flexes his muscles. It's a primitive way of saying he's the alpha and Lori is his mate."

"Mate?" Daryl's eyebrows shot up in amusement, a tiny smirk playing on his lips. I know it's weird for people to be identified like they're animals but we are.

"Yes, mate." I laughed, "All body language comes from primal instinct. You can tell a lot about people by how the stand, talk, and move if you how what it means."

"Can you tell anything about me?" He asked crossing his arms. His hands went under his arms pushing up his biceps making them look twice as big. That was both a defensive and an intimidating or challenging pose. He didn't really want to know, but wanted to know if I was brave enough to tell him. His chest and pelvis pointing towards me meant he was interested, even attracted. His smirk was a challenge: he wanted to show his attraction but he wanted me to act on it. Looking up at his eyes, they were dilated another sign that he was attracted. When you see something you like, your eyes dilate to bring in more light so you see more, but his knit brow told me he was conflicted.

"You don't want me to tell you." I blushed. Oh dear sweet baby Jesus, Daryl is attracted to me and wants to mate, I squealed in my head.

"Maybe I do." His voice was raspy, but still flirty. His eyebrow shot up, he finds me interesting. His smirk deepened, he's really challenging me now.

"OK, you're being defensive and you're used to intimidating people. Also you're attracted to me but worried I'll reject you." I blushed more.

His jaw dropped, "I don't like you, girl!" He snapped. He must have thought I wouldn't rise to the challenge.

"Your body says different." I smirked.

"I…don't…like…you!" He snarled up in my face, "In fact I wish you never came to camp." Then he was gone.

"Jerk." I mumbled under my breath, "I told you because you told me to tell you. I told you didn't want me to tell you, but did you listen, noooo…"

"Who are you talking too?" Dale came up behind me with a smile.

"Um...myself." I laughed nervously. It was a habit I had.

"My wife used to do that when she was aggravated with me." Dale smiled at the memory.

I couldn't help but smile too, "How long were you married?"

"Twenty years, and they were the happiest of my life. We fought every day, but every day I woke up smiling." His smile was just so heartwarming that I felt the urge to cry, I'm a sentimental crier.

"I'd love that. I was a hopeless romantic." I bent down to wrap another body. Dale bent down with me to help.

"Was?" He asked.

"Yea, it has to do with a lifetime of trust issues." I waved it off trying to make it sound like not a big deal.

"Want to talk about?" He asked in a fatherly manner.

"Nope." I laughed, "When I talk about it, it makes me upset and there have been too many upsetting things happening already so I'm trying to find the happy, funny moments and not let life drag me down."

"You're very mature for a twenty year old." Dale chucked. He then helped me move a body onto the bed of Daryl's truck.

"Thanks. I try." I grinned. He gave a small chuckle.

My smile was wiped away fast when I heard Daryl's raised voice again. Looking over he was talking to Rick, Lori, and Shane. He pointed over to Amy's body and Andrea. I heard him say something about shooting a turkey from where he was standing. I narrowed my eyes at him when he told Rick to take the shot.

"That Daryl is uncontrollable." Dale observed, "It's best you stay away from him as much as possible."

"He can't be all that bad." I looked at Dale hopefully, "He's just a loner who lost his brother. He doesn't know how to mourn or how to get close to others."

"How do you know that?" Dale was curious.

"Body language and a little bit of psychology." I said simply, "Most of all I can tell, something awful happened to him and it taught him never to trust or let people in, or they'll just stab you in the back."

"Sounds like you sympathize." Dale spoke slowly, not wanting to offend me.

"I do, I'm just like him, but instead of pushing people away, I don't let people know." I watched Daryl, "We both hold people at arm's length making sure they're worthy of our trust, and if we give it, it's a big deal. If you lose it, it takes a whole heck of a lot to get it back."

I could see Dale watching me out of the corner of my eye. He gave me a small frown while he studied me. He was good at reading people too, but I was good at hiding. I never wanted people to know about my insecurities, it made me feel weak and I didn't want anyone's pity. So they wouldn't know, I would put on a fake smile and act like I was happy.

Daryl stepped away from the group over to Morales, who was struggling with a body, trying to drag it over to the fire. That's not right he was one of ours. We'd been wrapping them up and putting them on his truck, why was he taking him over there?

"What are you guys doing?" Glenn asked, "This is for geeks. Our people go over there with Robin."

"What's the difference? They're all infected." Daryl snapped.

"Our people go in that row over there. We don't burn them! We bury them." Glenn said emotionally, his lip quivering, "Understand?"

"Bring him over, guys." I said, "Our people go here."

They were dragging the body over when Daryl yelled, "Ya reap what ya sow!" He was looking at Glenn when he yelled it.

"You know what? Shut up, man." Morales snapped.

Daryl let go of the body, "Y'all left my brother for dead. You had this coming." He pointed at the body.

Immediately I ran over to him, "You think this is our price?" I pointed at the wrapped up body of the little boy.

Daryl's scowl was wiped away as he looked down at the little boy, he looked away unable to meet my eyes. His hands were by his sides fiddling with the fabric of his pants.

"That little boy died just because your brother was left behind? Amy died too, all of these people, what was it an eye for an eye? Your brother died, so someone had to lose their sister?" I got in his face. He looked at me only for a moment then away.

"What kind of person says that?" I whispered, "I know you're better than that, Daryl." His looked back at me eyes filled with shame.

"I get that you miss Merle, but you got to stop taking it out on others. Remember, you're not the only one who lost someone." I narrowed my eyes at him. He gave me a small nod and swallowed thickly. He fidgeted under my stare. He couldn't hold my gaze as I looked up at him.

"Jim's been bit!" We heard Jacqui yell out.

"Stay here." Daryl ordered as he picked up the pickaxe. I didn't listen, I followed behind him earning myself a scowl from him.

"Show it to us." Daryl ordered to Jim. Everyone was circling around Jim now.

Jim tried to fight anyone who attempted to check him but T-Dog came up right behind him grabbing his arms. When he had him secured, Daryl lifted Jim's shirt revealing a bite mark on his abdomen. When everyone saw, Daryl and T-Dog jumped away like just touching Jim would get them infected.

"I'm OK. I'm OK." Jim repeated weakly. I covered my mouth in shock. I wanted to go to him and comfort him but as soon as I took a small step in Jim's direction, Daryl grabbed my arm stopping me and pulled me close to his side. He held the pickaxe out in front, ready to defend if Jim suddenly turned and tried to eat us.

Rick came over to lead Jim away from the group and behind the RV. When Rick and Jim passed us, Daryl grabbed me again putting me behind him watching every move Jim made. When they disappeared behind the RV, Daryl turned around facing me, "I don't want to see you around him."

"You're ordering me around, Daryl?" I quirked a brow.

"Yea, I am. So stay away from him." He began to walk away but turned back, "And don't go around Andrea and the body until someone has shot it in the head."

"Is there anything else I can't do?" I growled out through clenched teeth.

"Don't argue with me, girl, I'm tired of arguing with you today." He walked off then to where everyone was gathering, I followed behind him.

"What do we do?" Lori asked.

"It's different now, he's alive. We've never had to deal with one who was still alive." Carol commented.

"I say we put a pickaxe in his head. And the dead girl's. And be done with it." Daryl rasped, he looked over to see if I was still beside him. I was looking off towards where I knew Rick had taken Jim, worried and scared for him. I felt Daryl tap my hand bringing my attention back to the group.

"Is that what'd you want?" Shane asked. I felt his hand grab mine bringing me to his side. I felt Daryl's hand tugging at mine again. No one noticed the tug-o-war going on. I just pulled my hands away from the two and crossed my arms instead.

"Yea and I'd thank ya while you did it." Daryl looked at me for a second after replying, I then felt him tug at my pants' belt loop. He wanted me by his side while Shane wanted me near him.

I rolled my eyes at the tugging, I couldn't believe these men, what right did either have? I was in no way interested in Shane, and though he might make a territorial display, I knew he really wanted Lori. Perhaps he felt protective of me and thought I shouldn't be getting too close to Daryl, or maybe he was just a controlling buttwad. I'm betting my money (if I had any) on the second.

I've made it quite clear that I have the total hots for Mr. Dixon, but after the constant fighting today, I was starting to think that maybe I should just leave it at physical attraction and get over it. He seemed bipolar or maybe we were just oil and water. Never mind, make that oil and fire, we can't be around each other without blowing up. A quick glance at him told me I wasn't going to be able to avoid him though.

"I hate to say it, I never thought I would, but I agree with Daryl." When Dale said this, I walked away. I felt hands subtly grab at me but I pulled away and walked over to Jim.

"Why are you here?" He asked with a weak smile, "Aren't you worried I'll eat you?"

"You're not one of those things." I knelt in front of him.

"I will be." He frowned. My heart clenched with emotion at his words, I didn't want to see this nice man turn.

"Rick will think of something. He's da man with da plan." I earned a little smile from Jim.

"Do you want some water?" I asked. He nodded. I took a water bottle from the bag that I always kept on me. I opened it for him. He took a small sip before nodding to me and handing it back.

"You keep it." I smiled.

"Thanks." He set the bottle beside him.

"Y'all go looking for aspirin. I'll do what needs to be done!" I heard Daryl yell before I was suddenly I was pushed back by Daryl as he prepared to kill Jim. Luckily Shane and Rick stopped him. Rick put his gun to Daryl's head and Shane stood just between Daryl, Jim, and I.

"We don't kill the living." Rick said firmly.

"That's funny coming from a guy who has his gun to my head." Daryl's voice was extra raspy. If the situation was different, like he wasn't trying to kill a man, I would've thought it was sexy, but right now all I wanted was to smack him upside his big dumby dumb head.

"We may not agree with everything, but on this we do." Shane said. Daryl shot me a quick look, his eyes filled with shame when he saw my shocked and even angry look. He let Shane take away the pickaxe. When Rick lowered his gun, Daryl stomped away.

"Hey, you alright?" Shane asked bending down to help me up.

"I'm fine." I said. Shane looked me over and dusted me off; he paid extra attention to my back and butt.

"That Daryl is a wild card, alright. I've put several like him and his brother away. Promise me, you'll stay away from him." Shane looked me in the eyes.

I avoided making the promise, "We have any plans about what to do to help Jim?"

"Yea, we're heading to the CDC, hoping they have a cure or something. Personally I think we should go to Fort Benning, but no one listens to me. What do you think?" He checked me out before meeting my eyes.

I shrugged, "I don't know, I'm a follower not a leader. When I was alone, I never had to worry about this kind of stuff. I just stayed in one place until it was no longer safe then went to the next safe place I could find. But most army bases that I came across were overrun with walker soldiers."

"So you think Fort Benning's a bad idea?" Shane's jaw tensed and his body took a defensive pose.

"No, it might be worth a shot, but so might Rick's. Both might be overrun and we'll be in a big stinky pile of fucked. That's the thing, you won't know until you go, but always make sure you have several different plans just in case." I explained.

Shane smirked, "You got a way with words, girl."

"Thank you, sir." I bowed my head playfully serious.

"Well, we'll be heading for the CDC tomorrow." He smiled, checking me out again making my skin crawl a little.

When he walked away, I looked over to Daryl, who had been watching me the entire time. His pose was defensive as he watched Shane walk away. What was Daryl thinking? I got that he was attracted, but tugging me to his side and telling me what to do…what was that about? I shrugged mentally, Oh well. Better start getting packed and see about the plans Rick has.