I managed to stop an inch just before getting us killed. "What…what happened?"

"Larry filled the paper bag with air then popped it next to your air," Darla said.

"Tattletale!" Larry said.

I was in no mood to yell anymore so I just got back on the road. We had now crossed the city and were now in the rural regions. The view changed from suburbs to forest and the mountains were now visible in the distance.

It was our rotten luck that Lilia started getting a sneezing attack. She'd gotten it before, for various reasons. I sure hoped it wasn't pollen from trees, because we would be living amongst that for the next day or two.

"You all right, love?" I asked her, patting her on the shoulder.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I think it's from being in an enclosed space for so long. Could I open a window?"

"Sure. Go ahead." She rolled the window down and I felt a fresh breeze of forest air. I closed my eyes and let the wind caress my face and run through my hair. When I opened my eyes, there in front of me, was a two-inch, blood-red wasp.

I have spheksophobia. Phobia of wasps. I am TERRIFIED of them. I simply am. I don't care if you make fun of me. I am scared of wasps.

So it was perfectly natural for me to react the way I did. I screamed at the top of my lungs and we started spinning on the road. The wasp landed on my forehead and started walking around. Larry got a fly swatter and made a smack at it. He missed of course, and left a huge, red mark on my forehead.

The wasp was still in there, so Mr. Idiot-of-the-World sprayed bug spray…right in my eyes, of course. My eyes got red and it felt like I'd just gotten lime juice in them. Larry got in my lap and regained control of TIV, the tires screaming.

We stopped next to a sign and I opened my eyes. "Is…is the wasp gone?" I looked at everyone. You should've seen their faces. Everyone's hair was a mess, their eyes were the size of UFOs, and their jaws were inches from the floor.

"All right. The next time Larry does something stupid, we are all going back!" Everyone stared murderously at Larry. He was stuffing his face with tacos and had spicy sauce all over his jaws.

Completely ignoring everyone's stares, Larry pointed at the sign. "Look. We're thirty minutes away from the campgrounds."

Well, at least we were getting somewhere.

At the next exit, I pulled off to the gas station for the restroom break that we had to miss behind. After going, I sat in TIV while everyone else took care of what they needed to take care of.

When Rudy came back, he said, "Ahh! Much better now that I've emptied my bladder."

"Rudy! Do you always have to be so darn descriptive?" I said.

"What? It's a natural process, isn't it?"

"Please, just sit down."

He went to his seat and grabbed another taco from the bag. Robert and Greeny came out….with armloads of candy. "Hey, hey, h-h-hey!" I said. "And just what is that you have in your arms?"

"Bags," Robert said.

"Bags of what?"

"Candy. We knew you weren't going to bring any so we bought some."

I was exhausted just from the driving trip and wasn't in the mood to argue. I just sighed and shook my head. I was about to climb back in, when Rudy started screaming in pain.

"What's wrong?"

He pointed to his mouth. A case of spice overdose. That's what you get for using the hottest sauce. I only use the mildest one. Of course, I didn't say that. I grabbed a bottle of water and handed it to him.

He gulped the entire thing in twenty seconds. He dropped the bottle and was still pointing at his mouth. "Still hot! Still hot!"

By this time, Darla had gotten out and saw what was happening. She handed Rudy a bottle of milk. "Here, this might help."

Rudy devoured the milk. He must've used Carolina Reaper sauce, because his mouth was still burning. "I need…something…cool…and….refreshing."

Hmm. This was getting suspicious. I mean, milk definitely cures a spicy tongue. I knew Rudy pretty well, so I knew something was up. "Listen, you're not getting free soda on my account."

"But you will on mine," said Larry, bringing a can of soda. Rudy ripped the top off and gulped it down all. "Thanks, Larry. You're a life-saver." He wiped his mouth and tossed the can into the recycling bin next to the station's store.

"Where'd you get the soda?" said Robert. Larry opened the door for the passenger seat and pulled a latch under his seat. A small door on the floor popped open. Inside, was a small fridge with every kind of soda imaginable.

"Hey, pretty cool!" Larry started distributing the sodas amongst all the guys. Well, excuse me! Apparently I was the bad guy now. Only the girls seemed to be even making eye contact with me.

And Greeny.

Back on the road, he said, "Are we there yet?"

"We'll be there in five minutes," I said.

"Why so long?" he protested.

It was now mid-afternoon. Good grief! This trip was supposed to be an hour long or so. But if you add all the "incidents" that had occurred that adds a lot of time.

We arrived at the park entrance. I parked next to the window and the park ranger stepped out. "Good afternoon, sir. Glad to see you here."

"Thank you." I handed him the reservation number and my ID. After verifying that it was not fake, he handed both back to me. "Okay, checks out. Have a great time during your stay here."

"Thank you. We'll sure try."

He opened the gate for us and we passed on through. I handed the park map to Lilia. "Take a look, will you? Maybe there's something we can see today before it gets dark. Also, we can some ideas for what to do tomorrow."

"Sure thing."

I can definitely say that this was not my day. The minute I turned back to the road, I heard the sound of sirens and red and blue lights flashed behind us. "Uh-oh. Looks like you got nailed, Spiny," said Kathy.

"Will you please reserve sarcasm until after the camping trip?" I said. I pulled over and stopped. I began to think of what I could've done wrong. The brake lights were working. I wasn't speeding. I definitely wasn't drinking. Then what?

The officer knocked on my window. I rolled it down. "Hello, officer," I said.

"Ah, hello there, King Spiny."

"What's the trouble? I wasn't speeding or anything."

"Yes, but aren't wearing your seat belt."

HUH? What? I looked down and…oops. I felt the blood rising to my face. "I…I…I…listen. I've had a terrible day. I've been surrounded by idiots and made my lose good judgement."

"I'm really ashamed of you, you know. You should know the rules of the road!" He started writing out citations.

"What? You think I did it on purpose?"

"Jail or bail?"

"Excuse me?" He was threatening me with jail time?! Oh, for crying in the bucket! That's the last thing I needed. "All right. How much is it?"

"Regular fine is $200. But for you, it's $2,000."

"WHAT?!" Everyone inside tensed up. "Why should I get a higher fine?"

"Jail or bail? I'm not asking again. Next time, I'll have to place you under arrest for resisting an officer."

Well, too bad for him. I wasn't going to pay a higher fine. If the law said that the fine was $200, then that's what I would pay. I grabbed my wallet and got out two $100 dollar bills. "That's all I'm paying. And if you're not happy, we can sit down and have a nice chat with my attorney or the Amarkian Supreme Court. Would you like that?"

He took the money and handed me a receipt. "Have a good day, sir."

Ha! In your face, sucker. The nerve of these people. The bad influence of America and its culture. These people have got to learn to respect me.

In any event, we reached our campground a few minutes later. Ah! Finally! I pulled to a stop in the parking place, next to the outhouse. Funny place to park, actually.

"We're here! Everybody off and enjoy nature!"

"Yeah, let's get messy, make mistakes, and…"

"LARRY!" everyone shouted.

I got out the tents while everyone else started unpacking their gear. Darla and Roger started working on the girls' tent while I started hammering the nail for the boys' tent. Greeny started to run into the woods. "Hey, get back here, young man!" I yelled.

"But I want to explore!" he said.

"But you can't go alone. Roger, when you're done with Darla, can you take Greeny for a small walk? But don't go too far."

"Sure."

Larry walked over to me, with some weird gadget. "What's that?" said Robert.

"Just my secret weapon in having a good night at camping." He placed the tent over the line I'd set up. He pushed a button and the entire tent set up by itself.

So much for getting away from technology. "Aw, come on, Larry! I like doing things the old-fashioned way."

He grabbed the hammer and analyzed it. "Hmm. Very interesting."

"Ow!" Then, he bonked me on the head with the hammer. For no reason! Ugh. This was going to be a long camping trip.