Heart of Dixon

Chapter 6: Tug-o-War Round 2

This I think will be the most rewriting I will ever do on one chapter of HoD. The entire chapter was rewritten from Daryl's POV to Robin's. I felt like it didn't flow well and I write better in Robin's POV.

I have no ownership of the Walking Dead or its characters, only Robin.

Robin's POV

I don't think I will ever understand men. I never understood them growing up, in high school, or when I actually dated them, and I don't understand them now. I think I could know everything about their anatomy, body language, and psychology, and still not be able to comprehend them. I mean seriously, what have I done to make Shane think I was interested? Since our interaction at the quarry, he has been insistently following me, sending winks my way, and flirting at me. I could only give him uncomfortable smiles that pleaded him to stop. I thought it was pretty obvious that I didn't want his attentions but the man was adamant.

Not only was it creepy, but it was insulting. I knew that he wasn't really interested in me. He didn't actually want me, she wanted Lori. I think it was all to make her jealous, not that it was working. Yea, she would watch when Shane would approach me, but it was out of concern instead of jealousy.

Thankfully his attention didn't seem to change her attitude towards me, not that we were besties. She was civil, but there was also some suspicion. She thought something was up between Rick and me, she asked thousands of questions about what happened after we met each other. Eventually she calmed down realizing that we were not together, so the two of us got along.

Then there was Daryl, the man who made it his mission to push me away by growling like a cavemen and fighting with me every chance he got. I could feel his gaze constantly, I couldn't move without his blue eyes on me. He especially didn't like it when I came within three feet of Andrea, I could feel the heat of his glare on the back of my head like it would burn a hole in me. Other than that, he didn't do anything if I wasn't within belt loop tugging distance.

I wanted the two of them to leave me alone, even more I just wanted to lie in my tent and sleep. I didn't get any sleep last night, I tried but after the attack it was no use. I slept maybe an hour before the nightmares forced me to wake up. Whenever I closed my eyes, I saw the dead. Faces of my family, the group, and Jacob flashed over and over in my mind tearing me apart with their decaying teeth. I gave up soon after and got to work before the sun even rose.

I helped Dale keep watch until the others begun to slip out of their tents. By the looks on their faces, I wasn't the only one who suffered from nightmares. Carol and I made breakfast then handed it out. I washed up while everyone ate, I didn't feel hungry. I pulled yesterday's dry clothes down, folded, and then put them away. I did anything and everything I could to avoid thinking about my dreams, and stay away from the bodies of the fallen group. However once I finished all the domestic duties, there was nothing else but cleaning up the dead. I wished I hadn't after seeing the body of the dead child.

Rick some time later told me to sit down and relax. He gave me back my bag that I'd dropped outside the tank, I thanked every deity above for that small blessing. Sitting by the fire pit, I took stock. Everything was there; my clothes, books, supplies, and my rope. I stuck the first aid kit in the RV in case anyone else needed it. I also added my books to Dale's collection which made my pack so much lighter. Down near the bottom of my pack, I found fruit cereal bars and I gave them to the kids. After last night, I thought they needed something sweet.

I spent my time relaxing by the extinguished fire pit with Harry Potter reading about his adventures in the Triwizard tournament. Reading was the best therapy during this time. I really think I would have went insane if it were not for literature. Many a time, I risked my life for another book as well as food. I know it was stupid but I needed something to keep myself from going postal.

I was really getting into the story, when out of nowhere I hear a growling. Automatically I reached for my crowbar ready to defend myself against a walker. Instead there was Daryl towering above me wearing a less than amused facial expression at brandishing my crowbar at him.

"You gonna use that, then use it." He grumbled.

I rolled my eyes, "I'm not going to hit you. I heard growling so I reacted. I had no idea that it was you." I replied setting my weapon down by my feet.

"Maybe if you didn't lose your head in the clouds you would have heard me." He retorted.

"I didn't lose my head in the clouds, I got lost in a book, there's a difference and why are you getting so grumpy? It's not like I hit you." I looked back down at my book hoping it would end there, I needed something else to look at besides him.

"What you reading?" He asked sitting across from me. He set his crossbow in his lap checking it out.

"Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire." I replied knowing he was only making conversation, though I had no clue as of why. It wasn't like he and I had much in common so I didn't know why he was talking to me. That and he seemed to hate my existence.

"What's it about?" He questioned moving on to cleaning his arrows and checking for cracks.

"This is the fourth book so if I told you about it, you'd get confused without knowing about the first three." I answered with a sigh. Couldn't a girl just read in peace?

He sighed, "Then tell me about the first three."

Wow, he really wanted to talk. Oh well, I could talk, It wouldn't hurt me either. I didn't have many people here to talk with other than Glenn who only wanted to talk about video games he once played. I wish Amy was still alive, she was really starting to become my friend when she died, her death was still pretty raw for me. I couldn't look over at her without feeling like I wanted to cry my eyes out.

"Ok, Harry Potter is a young boy living with his cruel aunt, uncle, and cousin. One day he finds out he's really a wizard, and his parents were wizards. His parents were murdered by a dark wizard so now he must learn to survive in a magical world that he hardly knows about. There's eight books, luckily I have all of them. They are really great books, nearly got bit grabbing them." I explained with a smile.

Daryl angrily shook his head, "You stupid girl, you're willing to risk your life for some stupid books." What the hell just happened? A second ago he was fine, we were having a decent conversation, why was he suddenly so mad?

"Harry Potters are not stupid books, you take it back or I'm going to go all Ravenclaw on your muggle ass!" I jumped out of my seat ready to defend all Potter fans alive or dead.

"I'm not taking shit back, I'm not the one risking my life for some books." He replied gruffly. He stood up so he could tower above me again, but it didn't intimidate me, not when someone was talking bad about my boy Potter.

"Well I need something to keep me from going completely bonkers." I snapped taking a step closer.

He took another step closer to me so our chests were touching, "If I didn't know any better, I'd say you already were." He growled.

I opened my mouth to retort, but the thing was…he made an excellent point, "Touché." All malice left me as I noticeably relaxed. Daryl stood there, body still tense ready for a fight, staring at me like I really had gone crazy.

I sat down back to where I once was, "So you want to read the first book? They're really good."

He seemed to calm down but still held his weary attitude, "Do I look like a guy who reads?" He took the seat across from me again like we never had a spat.

I shrugged, "You never know, anyway it would be good for you have something to distract you from all the chaos and kill time when you're not hunting. It's a good way to escape and let your mind go on a journey."

"That sounds like druggy shit. Drugs were always Merle's thing." He joked then flinched upon mentioning Merle. I didn't like to see him suddenly so upset about Merle, so I decided to take his mind away from it. How you ask? With moments in my life where I was a total spaz.

"I never got high intentionally." I commented. I took a clean arrow from his stack. I ran my fingers along the length testing the weight. Daryl watched me, but didn't say anything about it.

The smallest hint of a smirk graced Daryl's lips and I knew I'd already succeeded, "You got high, unintentionally?"

"I helped paint some classrooms back when I was still in high school. The paint was some pretty potent stuff." I smiled sheepishly.

"How'd that go?" He asked wearing a faint smile.

I returned his smile with an even bigger one, "I spent the whole day conversing with pink elephants." He briefly chuckled then smirked.

"I bet you see pink elephants all the damn time." He teased.

I mock gasped, "You, sir, have insulted me. I am insulted. The nerve of you!" I turned to my side and spoke to thin air, "Can you believe this guy? You are clearly a limo green rhino! The nerve of him!" I turned back to Daryl, "You have insulted him as well. What do you have to say for yourself?"

I half expected him to act weirded out by my strange antics. Most people were. They usually accused that I didn't take anything seriously, which by the way was a total lie! I can take…well some things seriously. However, the world was already depressing enough with the dead munching on the living, it didn't mean that I had to be depressed along with it.

Anyway, Mr. Dixon only chuckled with that faint smile of his and replied, "Tell him to grow a pair."

I shook my head, "Oh no, I will not get in the middle of this. Have you any idea how vicious lime green rhinos are when their manhood comes into question? I have seen one take down a purple polka-dotted buffalo under three seconds flat." I stood up, "Any-who, would you like to borrow the book?"

"Whatever, but if I start seeing pink elephants, green rhinos, or freaking purple buffalo then I'm done with that shit." He grunted devolving back to his cave man speech.

"Lime green, huge difference." I corrected then smiled, "I can't wait to sort you! I bet you're a Gryffindor! You look like one." I clapped.

Oh yes, he had all the makings of a Gryffindor. He was very brave last night as he leapt into action to save me. Then again, there is an intelligence I didn't expect to find in him. Perhaps he's a secret Ravenclaw. I don't picture him being the cunning type, so definitely not a Slytherine. He didn't strike me as a Hufflepuff, but it was too soon to tell. My vote was still on Gryffindor.

He mumbled 'whatever' again as I placed the first book beside him. He opened his mouth to say something else, but he was interrupted by growling. On instinct, he reacted by readying his crossbow. The growling came from the creature that used to be my friend, Amy. Daryl motioned for me to stand behind him without taking his eyes off of Amy, but I remained standing where I was. I watched and waited.

I could hear Andrea's goodbye from where I stood and could only think of Jacob. There was so much I wish I could have said to him. Jake and I never got along that well, and by that, I mean we fought like cats and dogs. We used to be closer back when he was still studying to be a doctor, but we drifted apart. I wished I could have apologized for the cruel things I said. It was in that moment, I truly felt so alone.

"Hey, you alright?" Sadly it wasn't Daryl like I would have wanted. Nope it was Shane who was opening up his arms to hold me, but I pulled away before he could. I didn't like people seeing me when I cried, least of all him.

"I'm fine." I lied. I wiped quickly at my face before leaving Shane and Daryl alone. Behind me, I heard them speaking heatedly about something, but right now I didn't care. I've had enough drama and arguments for one day.

"Robin, sweetheart, we're heading down to bury the bodies." Carol informed me softly. If it was possible, she was more quiet than before. I often had to strain to hear her since she didn't speak above a whisper.

I nodded, "Alright." When Carol turned to leave, "Wait, how are you and Sophia doing?"

"Scared, mostly. Indifferent too, we're sad that Ed died, but we're not heartbroken. Guess we feel guilty about that." Carol replied, "But the candy you gave Sophia is making it better for her." She offered me a kind smile albeit sad.

I returned it, "I'm glad. It will get better." I said. I know, I give crap advice. What I really wanted to say was that now her abusive husband was dead she can finally find her inner strength.

Nothing else was said after that, both of us climbed into her Cherokee along with Sophia and we drove down to the grave site. As soon as I opened the car door, I heard yet another argument between Daryl, Rick, and Shane.

"The Chinaman gets all emotional, says it's not the thing to do and we just follow him along? People need to know, who the hell is in charge here, what the rules are." Daryl complained to Rick.

"We talking about burning them again?" I asked walking to stand next to Daryl.

"Yeah." Shane nodded.

"I agree with Daryl." I spoke up. Immediately everyone stared at me like I grew another head. I think someone even gasped.

"Robin!" Carol scolded in a motherly tone.

I scoffed and put my hands on my hips, "Oh God, come on guys, think about this. We have no idea what is infecting people and making them come back. We can't study it, so how do we know it won't stay in the ground after they're buried? We are just messing up someone else's chance of settling here and farming. It could be like parvo and survive in the soil for years. Anyone who gets infected from this would be on us."

Jacqui spoke up, "But burning our friends…"

I interrupted, "Vikings burned their dead, Greeks burned their dead, Romans burned their dead. Heck, before the world fell under, we used to cremate ours. How is this any different? It's not taboo. It's called a King's Death for Christ's sakes." I throw my arms up getting worked up.

"We haven't had one minute to hold onto anything of our old lives. We need time to mourn and bury our dead. It's what people do." Lori said scolding Daryl and I.

"Fine." I shot back. I wasn't going to allow her to make me feel guilty. I understand their want, but burning the bodies was no different. If it was Jacob, I would insist he be burned. I knew he would want it to be that way.

The funeral went by fairly quick, except for when Andrea insisted on putting Amy in the ground herself but was struggling. It took everything in me not to cry at the sight, not to mention thoughts of burying my brother. It killed me that the only service Jacob got was being a snack for some walkers.

During the funeral, I let Daryl and Shane take positions on either side of me. On my right, Daryl's side, I felt a tap on my leg. Looking down I saw his hand, looking back up his face was soft, relaxed and asking the silent question if I was alright. I nodded yes. I opened my mouth to speak but a tug to my left hand interrupted what I was about to say.

Glancing back at Shane, he shook his head. He didn't want me speaking to Daryl. Inside I seethed. I really didn't understand what his deal was. Since our interaction at the quarry, the man had flirted, winked, and smiled at me almost every chance he got. I don't know much about flirting or dating, but I knew for a fact that I'd done nothing to make him think I was at all interested in him. This was harassment.

I pulled my hand out of Shane's grip and crossed my arms. I prayed it wouldn't be another tug-o-war. Whenever the two men were around me, they literally fought, subtlety that is, to bring me closer to their side. It was getting on my nerves. I didn't need them taking care of me and I certainly wasn't anyones possession. They had no right. I could protect myself against Shane and Daryl didn't frighten me.

After the funeral, we all headed back to the campground. Shane went off with Rick to do some patrolling much to my relief. He was the most annoying out of the two cavemen. Well Daryl wasn't really annoying, we could actually have conversations and he seemed to embrace my weird humor faster than I expected. Though I didn't like how his go-to emotion was hostility.

When Shane and Rick got back they gathered us up around the fire pit, "I've been thinking about Rick's plan. Now look, there are no guarantees either way. I'll be the first to admit that. I've known this man a long time. I trust his instincts. I say the most important thing here is to stick together." Shane said, at the last statement he squeezed my shoulder making me feel all kinds of uncomfortable.

"So those that agree, we leave the first thing in the morning. Okay?" He informed.

I didn't bother eating when they divided the limited food. There was only a little and I doubted we would find much more along our journey. I went straight to my tent. I told them I was going to sleep since I didn't sleep any last night, but I knew that wasn't going to happen. Instead I crawled into my sleeping bag and listened to my music on my portable CD player. I listened to song after song until eventually I fell into a fitful sleep.

The next morning consisted of breaking down camp and packing everything away. I avoided talking to people unless it was necessary. My dreams were still haunting me and they seemed to be getting worse each night. I felt like I hadn't gotten any rest and a sleep deprived Robin wasn't the friendliest, especially if there wasn't any caffeine around to perk me up.

Everyone else seemed to realize that I wasn't in a sociable mood except for, of course, the block head Shane who came over smiling a smile that made most beauty queens jealous, "Hey, Robin, who are you riding with?"

Before I could answer, the second block head (Daryl) spoke up, "She's riding with me." He took my backpack to put it on his truck, but Shane grabbed the other strap before Daryl could load it.

"I don't think that's a good idea." Shane growled.

"Fuckin' let it go, man." Daryl snapped. He tugged it to him but Shane never let go.

"You let go." Shane retorted pulling on my bag again.

I'd had enough at this point. Really, who did these men think they were? "Both of you let it go!" I yelled. Both of the cave men's gazes shot to me.

"I don't need either of you to protect me! Both of you forget, before I found your cop buddy, I was surviving on my own, and even before that. I can take care of myself!" I growled. I yanked my bag out of both their grips, "The two of you are fighting like two dogs over a freaking milkbone, but guess what gentlemen, I refuse to be anyone's milkbone!"

"To answer your earlier question, I'm riding in the RV with Dale, the only man around here who seems to have any sense." I shouldered my backpack and walked away.

Behind me Daryl had to have the last word, "Whatever, didn't really want you to ride with me anyway!"

I spun around, "Says the man with a belt loop fetish!"