Ignoring .GIFfany, the Guardian rushed over to the kids and hugged them both. "I can't believe it!" she exclaimed. "I thought I lost you two!"
Salls slams into the Guardian. "Guardian! It's really you!" the handywoman said. "I've been hugging strangers to practice for this moment."
William slammed into the Guardian for a hug. "We missed you," he said.
The Guardian smiled as the hug came to an end. "I missed you too," she said. "Especially you, Dana."
"So...what's everyone doing here?" Dana asked. Lilliputtians ran across the hut, making the brunette girl confused. "What the...?"
"Yeah, there's like monsters and gnomes," Marcus said.
"It is...a long story," .GIFfany replied.
The Guardian closed the door. "No it's not," she said. She lit a match and tossed it into a bin. "Welcome to what's left of normal around here. Home base."
Dana and Marcus were shocked. There were various humans and creatures hiding in the Surprise Hut. Even Abigail the mermaid was present, although she had to use a wheelchair to move around.
Adaline, the immortal former pop star, coughed, her arm in a sling. "I'm alright," she said. "I just have some serious injuries."
Dana gasped. "Suggessica?" she asked.
"Bill's weirdness brought me to life," Suggessica explained sadly. "I deeply miss all of my friends from my home game." A '-50 Despair' popped up next to the pixalated video game character.
"Guardian, how'd this all happen?" Marcus asked.
"My companions and I used a device called the Apalapucia Lens to see what was going on in Dimension 46," the Guardian explained. "Needless to say, it was worse than I thought. Not even inanimate objects are safe from the dimensional merge. Poor Franny had to watch all of her journals burn up and turn to ash. Afterwards, the three of us spent the past few days finding survivors and bringing them here, the only place that's safe from Bill's weirdness. With no other options left, I revealed my true identity to the survivors and gave everyone silver amulets that keep the wearer immune to the dimensional merge. And Dana, I now know you feel uncomfortable about be the one destined to help defeat Bill, so the plan is to stay here until I can get the TARDIS to work again. Once it's working, I can take everyone somewhere far away from Earth. Think of it as creating a New Earth."
"Guardian, we can't all just leave Earth," Dana said. "There's a town in need of saving."
"You don't understand, Dana," the Guardian said. "The Ciphers are far more powerful than humans. I know my New Earth plan sounds unusual, but at least it's better than some cockamamy plan in which I find an identical dimension where everyone has died and we all take their places."
"So you're really just gonna let Bill win?" Dana asked.
"There's no other option," the Guardian said. "Besides, I don't know how the second Time War could get much worse." She proceeded to turn on the TV.
"This is Shandra Jimenez reporting live from the center of town. Here for the first time are images of what happened to the captured townsfolk. Viewers are advised to look away if they don't want to see their friends turned into a twisted throne of human agony."
Patterson was shocked. "My parents!"
"My family!" Wendy exclaimed.
"Officer Durland!" Chief Blubs exclaimed.
"Is there no one who will save the people of this town? I'm Shandra Jimenez and I'm being turned into stone by an unknown force."
Everyone gasped. Patterson looked like he was hyperventilating.
"Curse you, Bill!" Chief Blubs cried out. "Why must you take everything we love?!"
"Guys, don't you see?" Marcus asked. "Our friends need us, but we can only save them if we fight back."
"Marcus is right," Dana said, forcing a smile. "Bill wants us to run and hide. He wants us to think he's invincible. But I have a gut feeling that the crazy nacho has some kind of secret weakness."
The refugees perked up and started muttering, although the Guardian suddenly looked nervous.
"Now if we band together," Dana said. "If we combine all of our strength and smarts, then we just might be able to rescue the townsfolk, learn Bill's possible weakness, and save Gravity Falls!"
Everyone cheered.
"Whoa whoa whoa!" Daniel said. "I fought Bill once while I was in the portal, and that guy is practically invincible! Besides, it's not like we can take this safe hut to Bill."
"Now hold on a minute, Daniel!" Old Woman McGucket said. "I think I figured out a way to fight Bill and rescue the stone folks. But we're all gonna have to work together."
Meanwhile, the Guardian had gone back to the TARDIS, still hoping she could get the machine to work again. And as she worked, there was static on the Apalapucia Lens. She initially shrugged it off, but then she heard a familiar voice.
We'll meet again.
Don't know where,
Don't know when.
Oh, I know we'll meet again some, sunny day.
POP!
Without warning, a tiny Bill emerged from the Apalapucia Lens. "Bill?" the Guardian asked.
"Relax Guardian," Bill said, floating over to the Guardian. "It's not really me. I'm using my new powers to send a holographic message to you." He proceeded to take a sip of grape juice from his martini glass. "Funny thing about me drinking grape juice. Technically I'm not allowed to drink actual liquor."
"That enough, Bill," the Guardian said. "What's your message?"
"Oh right," Bill said. His martini glass transformed into a small globe as he sang once more.
I've got the whole world in my hands,
I've got the whole world in my hands,
I've got the whole world in my hands,
I've got the whole world in my hands.
At the last word, Bill dropped the small globe onto the ground, causing it to disintegrate. He laughed. "You know I wasn't always this way."
"Of course not," the Guardian said.
"Too bad I've been tricking other people into thinking otherwise," Bill said. "As we speak, my real self is telling Sixer some cockamamy story about me being from the 2nd Dimension and how I 'liberated' it. That outta send everyone on a wild goose chase!" He chuckled to himself. "Now I could liberate all the other dimensions as well. Can you imagine what that would be like, Guardian? Come on, take a guess."
"It doesn't matter," the Guardian said. "The Hybrid is safe. She will defeat you."
"You mean Sketchpad?" Bill asked. He cracked up. "That scared princess can't save you now. She'll die along with the rest of the Wheel counterparts! You think those amulets protect them? You're just delaying the inevitable, my old friend. And I do mean old! How old are you now, anyway?"
The Guardian thought about it for a while. "I... I don't remember anymore," she admitted.
"Pathetic," Bill said. "Just pathetic. You can't even remember your own age! At least I know that after centuries of time travel, I still remember that I'm forever twelve years old. You did this to me, Guardian. You killed me before I could celebrate my 13th birthday."
"None of that matters anymore," the Guardian said. "What does matter is that I have the Hybrid and you don't. And that 'scared princess' is going to destroy you."
"But-" Bill began.
"Shut up Bill," the Guardian interrupted. "I've had enough of you. We all have."
"You're all going to pay!" Bill exclaimed. "I swear it! I'll slaughter the lot of you! I will win! I will not be silen-"
But the Guardian turned off the Apalapucia Lens, shutting down the holographic message.
Meanwhile, Old Woman McGucket opened up some blueprints. "Alright," she said. "I've made some thingamadiculous robomajigs in my day, but this was a fail-safe for in case of emergencies."
"Whoa!" Dana said. "These blueprints are incredible, McGucket!"
"This is your most amazing invention yet!" Marcus agreed.
"Question: does it have any gun-swords?" Salls asked. "I watch a lot of anime and trust me, you're gonna want some gun-swords."
"Don't be ridiculous," Old Woman McGucket said. "This is real life, not some Japanese cartoon."
The Guardian had just left the TARDIS. She approached the group and looked at the blueprints. "Franny, are you serious about executing Plan T?" the immortal alien asked. "You know this is a one-time-only fail-safe."
"It's okay Guardian," Old Woman McGucket said. "We might be able to build it with help from everyone else."
And so, the refugees built the robot. Even the Guardian helped out by contributing some Gallifreyan tech into the design. It was hard work, but after many hours, it was complete.
That evening, the refugees were sitting by a campfire. They were all wearing silver amulets.
"Thanks for making more of these dimensional-sparing amulets, Guardian," Salls said. "I feel safer already."
Patterson showed up, having spent most of the day working on something unknown. "Okay everyone," he said. "I know I didn't help build the robot, but I've been working on something else. So now, allow me to introduce you to my biggest accomplishment so far: Marcus 2.0."
Marcus emerged from the shadows, all decked out in a new look (since his previous look was battle-damaged). His hair was cut short and styled messily with proper bangs. He wore a dark pink long-sleeved shirt with a yellow star printed on the front, and his purple shorts were sewed and repaired. He still wore his black shoes, but his broken headphones had to be discarded.
Everyone was amazed with Marcus' new look, especially Abigail, who looked in awe. "Not bad," she told her boyfriend as he sat by Dana. "You look so much better than before."
"To be honest, this is the best day of the end of the world," Marcus said. "I think we actually have a chance to beat Bill and win back our future."
"Yeah," Dana said. "Getting to actually live to see our 13th birthday party is the only thing I want right now."
"Hey, if we're lucky enough to get there, I guarantee this whole town is gonna throw you the best birthday party you've ever seen," Salls said.
"Thanks Salls," Dana said.
The next morning, everyone got in position. "Alright everyone," Old Woman McGucket said. "Let's hope this turns out better than my other inventions."
"Everybody ready?" Marcus asked. "Dana, now!"
Dana pulled a lever, causing wheels to turn. Machinery began running and the invention started moving.
Meanwhile, a few townsfolk huddled around fires. Suddenly, a robotic leg with Salls' pick-up truck as a foot stomped on the ground. To everyone's delight, the Surprise hut robot came into full view.
"It's the Huttron!" Salls exclaimed. She held the Take Back the Falls flag, resulting in the townsfolk cheering. Then the hut robot proceeded to run over to the center of town.
When the hut robot reached the center of town, dozens of Ciphers grew in size and surrounded the Surprise Hut.
"Uh, hey," Salls said, speaking into a microphone she just took out. "I just wanted you Ciphers to hand over the captured townspeople or we'll have to, like, fight and junk."
"Attack!" a purplish Cipher exclaimed.
"All right, guys!" Salls said. She took the flag and ran into the hut.
"Everyone, just like we planned!" Dana said. "Three, two, one. Go!"
With that, a battle between the hut robot and the Ciphers ensued. The refugees activated various switches and levers, while some people, like Suggessica and William, fought outside the hut robot. And with Cameron and Gary being drift compatible, the hut robot was a success and the Ciphers were defeated.
"Yes!" Dana cheered. "Now let's rescue the captured townsfolk!"
"I wouldn't be so sure about that."
That voice came from the green-skinned genie Cipher, who had morphed both of her hands into buzzsaws. "You pathetic mortals are not going to tear down Bill's perfect kingdom!" she exclaimed, raising her buzzsaw-hands. But then...
"NO!"
To everyone's surprise, a familiar light blue Cipher appeared out of nowhere and grabbed the genie Cipher's wrists.
The genie Cipher smirked. "So you're the traitor, Aquanica," she said. "No wonder Bill made me his second-in-command a few days ago."
Aquanica glanced at the hut robot. "I'll hold her off!" she told the refugees. "Go rescue the townsfolk!"
In the hut robot, everyone got ready. Marcus strapped his grappling hook to his waist, Salls put an unknown Gallifreyan weapon in her backpack, and Dana tested her height-altering crystal flashlight. Once the rescue team (which consisted of Dana, Marcus, the Guardian, Salls, William, Daniel, Old Woman McGucket, Patterson, and Chief Blubs) was finished packing, they stood in some tubes."
"Okay everyone," Dana said. "We get in, rescue the townsfolk, and figure out how to save the world. Piece of cake...I think."
"Just so we're clear, If I die, I want all of my possessions to go to homeless kids," Patterson said.
"We can worry about that later," the Guardian said, holding on to her Apalapucia Lens. "Now let's rescue the townsfolk!"
When the rescue team reached the stone throne, they gasped. "Oh man," Dana said. "It looks even worse up close."
"How are we going to unfreeze everyone?" Marcus asked.
"I know!"
Marcus shot his grappling hook, which landed on Manly Dan's shoulder, and was pulled up to the base of the throne. To his surprise, he saw Jennifer in a cage. She looked terrible. Her once-perfect hair was crudely cut shoulder-length and her light blue woman's suit had turned into rags.
"Jennifer!" Marcus exclaimed. "What happened to you?"
"Bill captured me days ago," Jennifer explained. "He's been treating me like some pet puppy through various tortures." She started crying. "I can't handle any more mind rapes!"
"How do we undo this?" Dana asked.
"How should I know?" Jennifer asked in response. "All I know is that somehow this whole thing is going to fall apart any min-"
As in on cue, the chair collapsed. As it did, the residents were returned to normal. Jennifer's cage fell as well.
Samuel groaned. "My mouth tastes like nightmares."
Becca fell down on her head. "I think I'm scarred for life."
Marcus freed Jennifer from her cage. When she got out, she hugged her Pony pal tightly.
"It's okay, Jen," Marcus said, patting her back. "It's all over."
"William!" Manly Dan said as he and the three younger Corduroy brothers ran over to William.
"Guys!" William happily said, embracing his family in a hug.
"Mom! Dad!" Patterson said.
"Durland!" Chief Blubs said. She rushed over to Officer Durland.
"My Blubs!" Officer Durland said.
"Don't you ever scare me like that again," Chief Blubs said. Then the two women cops embraced in a kiss.
Preston and Priscilla were shocked to see Patterson dressed in a flour sack and a piece of rope. "Patterson, what happened to you?" Preston asked.
"You look terrible," Priscilla said sadly, lightly touching Patterson's hair.
"It's a long story," Patterson said. "I mean, after I was separated from you, I thought you were going to forget about me. Besides, you spent most of my life pretending I didn't exist-"
"Patterson Elliot Southeast, don't you dare think that we pretend that you don't exist," Preston interrupted. "Your mother and I might have done unspeakable things in the past, but never think that we don't love you."
Patterson sniffled a bit, then he proceeded to hug Preston and Priscilla. "By the way, we still approve of you being friends with that Pines girl," Priscilla casually added.
But before Patterson could respond, the Guardian started panicking. "No no no no no no no no NOOOOOOO!" she exclaimed. "You idiot!"
"Yikes Guardian," Daniel said, approaching the alien time traveler. "What got you all nervous?"
"THIS!" the Guardian cried out, holding up the Apalapucia Lens, which showed an elderly man using blue spray paint to create a circular pattern on the ground. "DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS?!"
"They're about to play some alien version of hopscotch?" Patterson guessed.
The Guardian took a few deep breaths to calm down. "Not even close," she said. "This is a Gallifreyan prophecy. It says that when ten people who are connected to one another join hands, they will create a force strong enough to vanquish the Ciphers once and for all. But at a terrible cost: there would be a high chance that they would get permanently petrified. Worse, not even my special amulets can protect their Dimension 63 counterparts from the petrification."
"Well I feel bad for the suckers who end up petrified," Dana said.
"Dipper, the pine tree."
"WHAT?!" Dana yelped.
"Mabel, the shooting star."
"Holy smokes!" Marcus exclaimed.
"The question mark. This one's unsolvable."
"Me," Salls realized, recognizing the large man as her counterpart.
"That one's easy. You've been rockin' that dumb hoodie since the seventh grade."
Becca noticed how much the black-haired teenage boy resembled her. "Like some kind of destiny hoodie," she commented.
"The Tent of Telepathy sign! That must be Gideon."
"Wait, that's me as a boy?!" Jennifer asked. "I look so..." She cringed. "...weird."
"Wait, so who's the six-fingered hand?" Marcus asked. "None of us have six fingers."
"It's Daniel," the Guardian replied.
"Whoa whoa whoa!" Daniel said, holding up his hands. "I don't have six fingers!"
"But you spent thirty years in another dimension," the Guardian pointed out. "And so did that man. Not all of the counterparts have to be identical."
"I guess that makes sense," Daniel said, still baffled.
"Ice? Who's ice?"
"The symbols needn't all be literal, Dipper. It just has to be someone cool in the face of danger."
"Wendy! Wendy!"
"Wow, I look rad as a girl," William commented, noticing how the red-haired girl looked so much like him.
"Much like the spectacles need to be someone scholarly."
"Like me," Old Woman McGucket said as she watched a man with a long beard step into the circle.
"This is freaky."
"No kidding," Patterson agreed, surprised that he was a she in a parallel dimension.
"Now hold hands, everyone."
"Ew! I'm not touching that."
"Do it, sweetie. Do the one thing no one in our family has ever done: touch the hillbilly."
When the Dimension 46 counterparts joined hands, a light glowed around everyone in the circle. Suddenly, Dana fell over due to losing feeling in both legs. Every single one of the Dimension 63 counterparts were also becoming numb.
"Great Uncle Ford! It think it's working!"
"What about you?" Daniel asked the Guardian as he collapsed.
"Stan is the last person on the wheel," the Guardian explained as the remaining townsfolk fled. "But his counterpart was Silvia, not me. It's the reason why I'm immune."
Dana started crying. Patterson limped over to her. Marcus was about to follow, but William put his hand on the boy's shoulder, silently shaking his head 'no'.
"You alright?" Patterson asked Dana.
"Look at us," Dana said as she lightly sobbed. "We're getting petrified because of those people in Dimension 46. Were we just...carbon copies of the original? Was this whole thing pointless?"
Patterson reached forward to caress Dana's cheek. "Don't say that," he said. "I noticed that you look nothing like your opposite-gender counterpart. He wears a blue and white hat, you clip your bangs back with a sapphire barrette. He wears a navy blue vest, you tie a navy blue hoodie around your waist. You're not some carbon copy. You're an original. There's no way you can be a copy. Besides..." He repositioned his hand to cup Dana's chin. "I kinda hate seeing the girl I love cry."
"Love?" Dana repeated, her voicing choking up.
"And I know you're still dating William," Patterson said. "I just wanted to let you know that no matter what, I will always lo-"
But as a silent way of letting Patterson know she and William broke up, Dana interrupted the blonde boy with a kiss. It was brief, but it sent a message loud and clear. When the two parted, a small smile appeared on Patterson's face.
The two kids proceeded to embrace in a hug. Dana closed her eyes as she lost more feeling in her body. But she kept on hugging. She wanted her last memories to be of being in the arms of the one boy she was truly cared abo-
"Grammar, Stanley."
"I'll 'grammar Stanley' you!"
Dana's eyes shot open as she regained feeling in her body. She quickly parted from Patterson and rushed over to the Apalapucia Lens. She gasped as she saw Stan and the man from earlier gets into a very physical fight.
"It's okay," the Guardian reassured. "This should give me enough time to find another way to-"
Suddenly, the Apalapucia Lens shattered. Then to everyone's surprise, Bill materialized out of thin air. "Did I forget to mention I can now duplicate myself into other dimensions?" the Cipher asked. "Because I can!"
A/N: Relax folks. This isn't the end. Because Take Back the Falls is two regular episodes merged into an hour-long special, I decided to split up the finale into two separate chapters.