Title: if you live long enough you will die knowing
Disclaimer: not my characters; title from Gerald Stern.
Warnings: spoilers for up to 5.15
Pairings: mentions of canon het
Rating: PG
Wordcount: 185
Point of view: third
He doesn't want to be their father. Sometimes, he wishes he had slammed the door harder, made sure they'd never come back. Refused to help when John got himself snatched and possessed.
And now, look what's come of it. Life would be simpler, maybe. Or maybe he'd be dead. John and Dean would still have died, and Sam might be Azazel's general, Lucifer's consenting vessel.
Karen is dead again. She was brought back and killed because of the Winchesters. He wishes for a moment that he could turn them away. Tell them to leave and not come back. He lost his legs because of them. He lost his legs and had to suffer the pain of Karen's death again. Twice he's had to kill her.
The phone rings. He knows who it is. Those stupid and brave boys, and he wishes for one moment he was strong enough, mean enough, to turn them away.
The phone rings and he picks it up, puts it to his ear, and asks, "What's gone wrong now?"
Family don't end with blood, and the Winchesters need all the help they can get.