I don't remember anything after that. I wake up to the sun burning my eyes, a piercing headache and a backache. My head is on a cushion, there is a pressure on my chest and leg. I peel my eyes open and look down at one of Connor's hands on my boob and one of his legs is draped over mine. His head is on the ground, facing me. How the hell did I end up down here? Where's Murphy. I see Murphy lying on the couch. One of his arms is dangling from it. Rocco is a few feet from Connor and I. I can only see his legs. I see Rocco move and Connor stirs. Connor's hand flexes on my breast, squeezing it hard. I slap his hand away.

"Ow, don' do that" I mutter.

Connor looks at me confused "Rhi?"

I glare at him "Yeah, who else's boob would ye be squeezin'?" The question is a challenge.

He grins "Roc's"

I laugh then wince "Ow, head. Water, I need water"

I crawl out from under Connor and realise my jumper had been removed at some point and my jeans are unbuttoned. I can feel that my bra isn't sitting right and my vest top is halfway up my stomach. I look at myself in confusion. Then at Connor who shrugs.

"Don't look at me, love. I don't remember shit" He says as he sits up.

I shrug and fix my clothes and stagger over to the kitchen and pour myself some water. The liquid is the best tasting thing in the world. Curing the dryness of my mouth and sating a little of my headache. I pull the empty glass away from my mouth with a gasp.

"God, that's good" I mutter.

"Let's get some air, darlin'" Connor says from the door.

I nod and head over to him and Rocco, grabbing my jumper as I go and shoving it over my head. Connor offers me a cigarette from the pack he's holding. My sore throat forces me to shake my head. He looks surprised but takes out two, one for him, one for Rocco.

We stop at the front gates to Rocco's apartment building and I breathe in the fresh air and lean against the wall.

"Donna's gonna be angry about her cat." Connor says

Rocco scoffs "Shit. She's on every drug known to man. She'd have sold the thing for a dime bag. Screw her." He laughs a little "I do kind of feel like an asshole, though."

Connor smirks "Yeah, Roc, you sound real remorseful there."

"She ain't been around in weeks anyhow." Rocco says and I smile at him sadly. This Donna lassie sounds like a cow.

"Listen, something's been botherin' me about last night." Connor says

"What?" Rocco asks

"What if your boss knew how many fellas were supposed to be there?" Connor replies.

Rocco frowns "What are you... What are you sayin'?"

Connor turns to him "Think about it. Nine men, six bullets."

Rocco scoffs and pushes himself off the wall "Think they sold me out? No way. No way."

Connor looks frustrated as he speaks "Listen, he probably knew you'd end up nailin' the fat guy, maybe one or two more, but he had to know ya weren't walkin' out of there. Figure it out. The shooter's dead at the scene. There's no in-depth investigation. They'll just slide right off his fuckin' back. 'Cause what the fuck? As much as I love ya, man, you're not exactly Don Corleone."

Rocco looks defiant as he shakes his head "No, no, that... That's just not the way things are done. Besides, how does he know I just don't get in there, see there's too many of 'em, serve 'em their fuckin' food..."

"Because he fuckin' knows ya, Roc!" Connor exclaims "A smooth hitter would have gone in there, seen it was a fuckin' wash and slipped out. But you, he knows this is your only shot. You've been waitin' 18 fuckin' years."

Rocco shakes his head "No. No, no. That...That just ain't the way... No, that's bullshit. You don't know what you're talkin' about. That's just not the way things happen. I mean, thanks for your concern and all, but that just ain't the thing of it.

I look over as I hear footsteps and see Murphy coming over "Do me a favour, all right? Just roll it around a bit on your way in." Connor says "Will you for me?"

No. No rollin'. Nothin' needs to be rolled. Fuck!" Rocco snaps

I speak up then "Um, Rocco. I hate to tell ye this but my da does this all the time. He decides someone is disposable and, well, he tends to dispose of them"

Rocco points at me "No offence, Princess, but your dad's the biggest dick of them all"

"They're all dicks Rocco. None of them are better than the other. You should just stay away" I tell him

"Where the fuck are you goin'?" Murphy snaps at Rocco then turns to Connor "Did you tell him?"

"Of course I fuckin' told him." Connor replies leaning against the wall next to me

"Then what the fuck?" Murphy snaps

"You guys don't know that shit for sure!" Rocco says

"You're such a fuckin' retard!" Murphy yells and pushes Rocco.

Rocco pushes him back "Hey, fuck you!"

I step away from the wall, worried as the two boys scrap "Oh, man, use your fuckin' brain for once! Is it so unbelievable that they don't fuckin' care about ya?"

"Murphy, Rocco. Stop it!" I snap and pull Murphy away from Rocco.

"Oh, yeah, you two fuckin' Micks know what's goin' on? Fuck you both!" Rocco snaps

Connor steps away from the wall, his face red and a vein pulses in his forehead "This is not a fuckin' thing you should gamble on, all right?" He yells

"I'm the fuck out of here." Rocco sighs angrily and storms off

"Fine! Fuck it!" Murphy yells and kicks the gate angrily "What kind of flowers you want at your funeral, you dumb wop? It's the last time I'm gonna see ya!"

"I'll be back at nine! Bury the fuckin' cat!" Rocco shouts back as he crosses the street

"Listen, you get in there and you start gettin' a bad vibe, you get the fuck out quick!" Connor shouts after him.

"Boys, stop it!" I snap and rub my temple with my fingers "He's made up his mind. No amount of yellin' is gonna stop him"

Murphy looks at me angrily "What happens when the people your da tried to dispose of come back?"

I look at him surprised "I… I don't know"

"Well think!" He yells in my face "How the fuck could ya not know what was goin' on in your own house!"

I slap him across the face angrily "Don't you fuckin' talk to me like that! You don't know what I did to stop my father and you heard what happened to me when I did!"

I pull aside my hair and push my ear forward. There lies a long scar that I'm not too surprised the boys never noticed before. My hair always covers it. "This is what he did to his own daughter, these people are capable of anything!"

I'm so angry at Murphy! Just last night he found out about the type of monster my father is and he expected me to go around saving every person my dad got tired of? I can't be around either of them right now. I push Murphy aside and storm towards the street.

He catches my elbow "Where the fuck do ya think your goin'?" He asks

"Get off of me, MacManus!" I snap angrily

He pulls me into his chest firmly and I pull my fist back to punch him but Connor catches my wrist "Rhi, stop it. Ya know ya can't risk leavin'" Connor says calmly.

I beat against Murphy's chest with my free arm angrily. Having Murphy stir up these old emotions I buried deep inside me for years physically hurts. Images flash through my mind and I collapse into Murphy's chest and cry loudly. They've never seen me cry. I never wanted them to see me cry.

Murphy wraps his arms around me tightly "I'm sorry, Rhi. I'm so sorry"

I feel Connor stroke my hair gently as he shushes me gently "We'll get that son of a bitch, love." Connor says quietly.

I force myself to calm down and pull my head away from Murphy's chest. I stare at the tear stain on his shirt and look up at his face guiltily "I'm sorry about your shirt"

He breaks into a smile "My shirt…" I'm lifted into the air and pressed against the wall. Murphy kisses me passionately before I can even register what happened. My anger turns into to lust. It's amazing how often the two coincide. My legs wrap securely around Murphy's waist as we kiss. It's hard, wet and passionate. Probably the hottest kiss we've ever had. I pull away first. My breathing is laboured, my mouth hurts. Murphy is looking at me with heavy eyes, his breathing is as heavy as mine and his grip on my ass is borderline painful.

"Put her down, Murph" Connor says, his voice sounds husky. He was turned on by that.

Murphy lowers me to the ground and kisses my forehead with surprising tenderness "I'm sorry" He says again

"Let's get inside" Connor says and offers me his hand.

I take it and he leads me back into the apartment, Murphy follows closely behind. All we can do is wait for Rocco to call or come back or for the worst to happen, whatever comes first.