Heart of Dixon

Chapter 24: Right in the Feels

Ok guys, this chapter is a bit of a doozy to right. Feelings are shared and you finally get to find out what happened to Robin's brother Erin.

Robin's POV

"Happy Birthday Bitty." Daryl whispered hoarsely against my lips.

That was when all sane thought went out the window. The man really shouldn't have spoken in that dripping with sex voice. I swear he's the libido whisperer! Anyway, I threw out all sane thought and gripped his head smashing my lips against his. Thankfully, he didn't complain any as he pulled me harder against him with my belt loops, no doubt fueling on his own belt loop fetish.

It seemed like each time we kissed it went up a notch in passion. First time we kissed, it was like a teenagers first kiss, innocent and tasting the waters. The second kiss was hot and filled with passion. With that kiss, I saw stars, cliché I know, but it's my best description. Now this kiss…wow…it was…like diving head first into a volcano of sex. I swore our clothes were going to catch on fire with the intensity between us.

Without Daryl even touching any intimate places, I was already moaning into the kiss. My hands explored his face, clenched his hair, and stroked his arms while our tongues were doing Mortal Combat. Oh, and he was winning, I was ready to KO and I prayed that he would finish me.

I nibbled his lip making him groan into the kiss. He responded by abandoning my poor belt loops and grabbing my ass hard. I had no clue when we reached the wall, nor did I remember moving, but Daryl slammed me right into it. I lifted my right leg and looped it over his uninjured side. Daryl gladly received the invitation by grabbing my leg behind the knee and ground his impressive hard on into my core.

"Bitty." He grunted, only he could make that name sound so freaking sexy whilst in the throws of passion.

"Oh, God. Daryl, please don't stop. " I pleaded. I could feel the buildup forming in the pit of my stomach. The libido whisperer caught on to what was going on and ground harder while holding me firmer against the wall. I pulled away from his lips when his second hand began cupping and squeeze my boobs. I moaned loudly, but Daryl swept in silencing me with his kiss.

That was it, I couldn't take it anymore. The buildup in my stomach reached critical overload and popped like a balloon with too much air but with the effect of a sexual atomic bomb on my body. I came hard like never before in Daryl's arms. He never stopped the kiss even as I wailed and shook.

He only broke the kiss once I started to calm. Thankfully he didn't pull all the way, because I think I would have fallen right on my ass. My legs were too weak to carry my weight. Daryl held me close; us both breathing like we escaped a mass herd of walkers.

"Goddamn." Daryl cursed under his breath.

"Yea that was…wow." I agreed, my face nuzzling his neck. I looked at his face to see his confidence leaving his face. Daryl looked back at me nervous.

"God, you are so hot." I mumbled, hoping that would make him feel better.

"Whatever you say." He rolled his eyes, his cheek were a little redder.

"I mean it." I replied while giving his neck butterfly kisses.

"You are hottest man that I ever had the pleasure of knowing." I trailed the kisses over his cheek and finished with a peck on his lips, "And not all men can say they made a girl cum like that just from kissing."

He blushed a bit but kissed me back. The kisses were back to being like our first kiss, but I didn't mind a bit. I really needed to calm down and change my pants…and underwear. Not to mention, Daryl doesn't need this strenuous activity…oh shit, Daryl!

"Are you hurt?" I asked removing my leg from his lip, which was started to go numb by the way, and pulled completely away.

"I'm fine." Daryl replied, remarkably not grumbling. He didn't stop me when I tugged up his shirt to check his wounds. We didn't rip any of his stiches out, thankfully, but the spots were red of strain and they looked painful.

"If you were in pain, why didn't you stop?" I asked feeling guilty as hell.

"I didn't want to, 'sides, I barely felt them." Daryl answered.

I gave him a pleading look, "I want you to heal, and I'm not helping by jumping you."

Daryl waved me away, "I'll be fine, Bitty."

I nodded unconvinced but decided to change the subject anyway, "Well I'm going to see if there's anything I can do to help out with the group."

"Don't you overwork yourself either, it wasn't that long ago you went through all the shit. How's your arm doing?"

It still felt sore as hell, but did I tell him that-"Ah, it's fine, it barely bothers me."

What? If he can brush off his injuries, then so can I. Well, to be fair, he didn't seem to buy my lie either.

"Anyway, I need to change my pants before I leave this room." I joked.

Daryl blushed, "So you're not…"

"Not what?" I asked while digging for some new pants. The ones were very much damp from earlier. Just thinking about it made a shiver go down my spine.

"Mad about what we did." He finished.

"Daryl, please, I'm not mad. I jumped you and I wouldn't mind another round any time." I winked.

"Just didn't think a girl like you would want that with a guy like me." He mumbled.

I sighed and turned all the way to him, "Daryl, I'm going to honest with you and totally put all the cards on the table."

He nodded and waited looking nervous.

"I like you. A lot. You are the most amazing guy I've met, and that's holding account for the men I've met before the world turned to shit. You're selfless, sweet, brave, and honorable. Not to mention you look like a sex god with those beastly arms and that voice that makes me wet instantly."

Oh God, I'm actually saying this aloud and Daryl is looking at me like I've grown a second head.

"I've been attracted to you since the first day I saw you at camp. I know you probably don't feel the same way and maybe you're past is holding you back. Just know that no matter what, you are amazing and I'll always be there for whatever." I finished.

Daryl didn't say anything so I grabbed some clean pants and some underwear and left. Tears were threatening to fall but I remained strong. I cursed myself for being so open, why did I have to be? I guess I thought since he was so closed off, I might just lay it all out there. Maybe my forwardness would finally drill it into his head about what a catch he was? I doubt it. I probably just ruined whatever I had with Daryl.

I changed out of my damp stuff fast. I threw my stuff in our room half hoping Daryl would want to talk but he wasn't there. With a sigh, I went down stairs. I would work today and hopefully drive that stupid moment from my mind.

I found Rick outside talking to the group and Hershel in the center of our camp, "Hey guys!"

Lori and Carol were peeling potatoes for dinner. Lori just gave me a nod, we weren't besties and we never really talk to one another. The day after my big confession she didn't really want Carl around me, but she realized (probably with Rick's urging) that I would never hurt Carl. I didn't have a big opinion on the woman. She didn't do any harm, but she certainly loved bossing everyone around.

Carol glared at me the moment I came into view. It appeared that our kiss still bugged the mother. I felt a little guilty since she confessed she had feelings for him as well, but I wasn't going to ignore my feelings for Daryl when I had them since the beginning when she thought the man was trouble.

From one tent, I saw Daryl lounging about. I spill my feels out for him to see and what does he do? He leaves our room and opts for a tent. Oh well, I should have known it was going to happen. Daryl needs things to go slow, and I just went the Fast and the Furious on him.

"Hey girl, how you doing?" Rick asked bringing me into a side hug.

"Fine. Listen I wanted to bring up the birthday party…" I started only to be interrupted by Rick.

He held up a hand, "I already know what you're going to say, don't worry. Carl told us about your birthday, so you'd feel part of the group again, we threw you the party. Patricia and Maggie volunteered with the cake, and that's all we thought it would be, but while Glenn and Maggie went on a food run, they went ahead and grabbed some stuff. Nobody was hurt." He explained.

I nodded, "Alright, but you didn't have to do any of that to make me feel part of the group."

"Well some of the group," Rick shot a glare to Shane, "haven't been too nice to you. Just know that you're apart of us still. And with all the world falling apart around us, it's good to appreciate the little things like birthdays."

I smiled, "Good point. Anyway, this there anything I can do to help out. How's the search for Sophia going?"

"Since Daryl brought the doll back, our search grid cut in half. We'll all going out in teams today." Shane explained.

"Can I help?" I asked.

Hershel shook his head, "With that arm, its best you don't leave the farm."

"Oh, come on, Hersh! My arm is fine, I can help them out." I pleaded.

"Alright but don't come complaining to me about it." He grumbled, "By the way, you have your bedroom to yourself again. Told that boy, it was time for him to go back to his tent. He can heal there just fine and it's not proper with him sleeping in there with you."

So we left because of Hershel, that's good. I thought I totally freaked him out and he bolted. Still I wish Hershel didn't do that, Daryl really became my teddy bear these past few nights and I don't think I could sleep without him now.

I smirked, "I won't." I turned to Rick, "So who's all going out there."

"T-Dog, Glenn, Maggie, Jimmy, Dale, Shane, myself, and now you." Rick counted off his fingers.

I repeated the names in my head and got confused, "Wait, you forgot Carol." I corrected.

"No, I'm not going." Carol snapped, "I'm actually helping out the group." She gave me a look that I'm sure implied that I haven't been. Trust me, if I wasn't confined to the farm house, I would have helped them out. Hershel demanded I heal.

Anger filled me but I kept calm, "But your little girl is out there."

The others were silent as they watched, even Daryl popped his head out to see what was going on. Wasn't anybody going to throw me a bone here? Didn't anybody notice what I did, or was I alone?

"I'm not strong enough to go out there." She made her excuse.

"You're not going to go against a herd of walkers, it's your little girl!" I yelled.

"Alright, Robin, you need to calm down." Rick, ever the peace maker, said.

"No, you all keep babying her, but it doesn't change the fact that her little girl is out there and all she's doing is peeling goddamn potatoes. If it were my little girl, I would be out there right now battling walkers and everything else to get her back safe." I huffed.

"Alright, that's enough of you." Shane snapped pushing me away, "Ever since you got back all you've done is cause trouble. If Carol says she's not strong enough, then she ain't. Now let it go." He pushed me away again.

"Don't you fucking touch me!" I roared then walked away. With each step tears ran down my face. I couldn't believe them. I couldn't believe Carol, how could she just sit there. Her baby girl was out there probably waiting for us, for her momma to come and save her.

I wide up by a small peer and a pond. It wasn't too far away from the farmhouse but it was far enough. I fell to my knees with new tears. Everything was just like back then. Damn Carol for bringing up these terrible memories. I never wanted to relive that moment from so long ago, but she made me. So I swallowed and forced myself to become numb to the feelings.

"What the hell is your problem?" It was Daryl and by the sound of his voice, he was pissed. Right then in that moment, I didn't care. He could have said anything, but I was numb.

"Go away." I spoke my voice breaking. I didn't turn to him, my eyes stayed on the pond.

"Not until you tell me what that was all about?" He ordered.

"I don't have to tell you anything." My voice cold.

"Bitty, that wasn't like you." His voice was a little softer now.

I turned around, "You don't know anything about me. How would you know?"

Daryl's face went hard. I thought he would yell back or turn around but he stayed there, "Because you're not a bitch. You don't just blow up on people like that. You're…happy. You make the rest of the group smile." He swallowed, "You make me…feel."

Ladies and gentlemen, this is just in. Daryl Dixon appears to have just poured out his soul. It doesn't seem like much, but that one word was a bucket load when it came from Daryl. With that one word, I suddenly felt like sharing my darkest memories.

I sighed, "Fine, if you want to know, I'll tell you." I patted the spot next to me on the peer next to him.

When he sat down I began, "Wow, I haven't really told many this, but I guess I'll let you. I'm not looking for pity, just so maybe someone will understand why I blew up back there." Daryl quietly nodded.

I took a deep breath, "My mother never abused me in any way, but in my opinion she did so much worse to me. You see, my mother was one of those women who thought they needed a man to be happy. She married a doctor right out of high school and they had Jacob together. But she pushed him away with her control issues. Later she met my dad, a mechanic. He wasn't really want she wanted, but he wanted her. He thought he was in love with her and she was able to bask in his attention. She then became pregnant with me. I wasn't her prized Jacob, so she pushed me to the side. I spent most of my time with my dad. Sadly he was arrested for armed robbery just weeks after my mom found out she was pregnant again.

"I was alone. My mom hardly paid me any attention, especially if she had a man and she always had one. I was invisible to her and I never felt good enough until Erin was born. Like me, she set him off the side. I wide up being the one who changed him and fed him. In my eyes and heart, Erin was my baby."

Tears went pull force from my eyes.

"I was there when he spoke his first word, when he took his first step. I played with him and got him ready for school. My world revolved around him. He was," My voice broke, "my heart."

"I didn't hang out with friends or party like most teenagers because I was the one who took care of him. Jacob was in college by the point and mom was engaged, again. If I wasn't there, then he wouldn't have anyone to make him lunch or read him bedtime stories. I was always there, until one fucking night." I growled, more at myself.

"I was invited to a beach party and I wanted to go so bad. I wasn't but Erin managed to convince me to go. So I went. My mind wasn't on the party while I was there, it was on Erin. I worried about him so I broke away and called the house. I had to call four times until someone finally answered, mom was spending the day with her fiancé. I asked to speak to Erin, but she said he wasn't in the house."

I sobbed, "I asked her to bring him inside that I wanted to talk to him. She called for him to come inside but he didn't. I knew something was wrong then, he never left the yard. The neighbors had this big dog that tended to chase him when he left it, so he was always scared. I managed to persuade a friend to take me home.

"I told her that he was missing and that we had to call the cops but she didn't believe me. She blew me off. So I called them myself, they told me he wasn't considered missing unless it's been 48 hours. I wouldn't take that so I went out by myself. I searched all throughout the neighbor and asked the neighbors but nobody had seen him. I searched the woods surrounding our house throughout the night and until the sun rose.

"One of the neighbors called the police again, but it was too late. I found him just when the search party was being set up. Someone hit him with a car. He was in a ditch covered in leaves. No one knows why he went from the house that far."

"My baby would still be alive if she had paid better attention to him than to a man. Maybe he would be alive if she went out looking when he first disappeared. She never looked for him. She just sat on the couch and made excuses just like Carol did."

I turned to Daryl finally, "Mothers don't just sit around while their babies are missing, they look. They shouldn't ignore them and they do whatever they can to protect them. I never forgave my mother, right after the funeral I moved out to my grandparents. They thought I was wrong to blame her and took her side. So I stopped talking to them all."

"Bitty, it wasn't your fault. She shouldn't have been a lazy whore and watched her damn child. You aren't his mother, it wasn't your job. She had no right pushing that no you." Daryl soothed.

"It was…" I whispered.

"No the hell it wasn't," He growled, "and I don't want to hear different from you. You were a kid, you wanted to have fun too. She shouldn't done what he had to do and took care of him." He pulled me up while he stood and brought me into his arms.

"It wasn't your fault." He repeated.

"Thank you." I whispered against his neck. I wasn't ready to believe him yet, but I was thankful he listened to me and didn't pity me.

"We should go back." I said pulling away, "I got to tell the others so they don't kick me out."

He shook his head, "You ain't reliving that again, it looked like it was about to kill you. I'll tell them." He pulled out a clothe from his back pocket, "For your face." He explained simply.

I gave him a watery face and wiped the tears and snot away, "Thanks."

"Don't mention it." He grumbled but he gave me a smile.

So what did you think? Did the chapter title hold true and get you right in the feels? Because it did for me, I was crying like a baby while writing it. I don't really like how depressing it is and I'm sorry for all the Carol fans. I think she is a good character, but during the second season, I really thought she should have done more to look for her daughter. But's that's my opinion. Anyway, I hoped you enjoyed it. The next chapter should get back more into the episodes.

'Til next time, I love your faces! ^_^