Chapter Five

What Happens When Thor Gets Pranked By An Archangel

Please bear in mind for this chapter that Odin and Frigga are still alive and they are the rulers of Asgard. Thor is still the crown prince, nothing has changed except Loki has died when he let go in the abyss, and got stuck with Gabriel. Oh, and I sorta made them (Odin, Frigga and Thor) a bit OOC to fit in.

"Uh oh. That lightbulb going off your head doesn't seem—what are you doing? Don't tell me it's one of your crazy expeditions again."

"Okay, then I won't tell you that this is one of my 'crazy expeditions'."

Loki slammed his forehead in frustration. "Do tell me, what are you doing?"

"Going to Asgard for a visit."

The string of cuss words Loki streamed out probably got him grounded for the rest of his immortal life.

"Hey, calm down, bruh. Nothing better than paying your dearest brother who-thinks-you-are-dead a little prankster visit, right?"

"But that's the point! He thinks I am dead! And I can't face him like this!"

"Lucky that you are dead, then."

"That's not the point." Loki's voice was colder than glacier ice, but Gabriel didn't miss the slight cracking and tremble in the bravado.

"You just said it was a few moments ago." Gabriel stopped their vessel in the middle of the road, oblivious to the honking of angry cars as he consulted his grumpy friend in his head. "Look, I'm just going to give him a scare, alright? He thinks you are dead, he hears your voice suddenly, bam, he goes to your daughter Hel—she's pretty hot by the way—but technically you are dead, and it'll cause some massive trickster trouble!"

"But—" Loki's voice cracked a little more, and Gabriel stopped moving again, as he understood how his friend felt. But he had to learn to overcome his past, lest he fell like he did.

"Loki," Gabriel's voice was unusually calm and laced with warmth, for once not scathing or sarcastic, "You can't let yourself be restricted like this. Learn to overcome this fear, and all'll be well."

"You sound like those motivation quote online thingies."

Gabriel smiled. If Loki was joking around again, it meant he felt better.

—

"Ready?"

"Not really."

"Okay then, let's go." Gabriel snapped his fingers, and in an instant he had transported them to Asgard, the Realm of the Gods.

"Hey!" Loki complained. "You aren't supposed to go when someone says they are not ready."

"Cool down Lokes. See? Nobody saw us."

They had landed in the stables…unfortunately on some vile brown substance that stank and was ridden with flies. A couple of horses spared them a curious glance, then looked back at their apples.

"You had to land us in a pile of poop." Loki deadpanned.

"Well, I've heard that poop is good with nutrients and all…"

"Dude, that's a plant."

"…or maybe not."

"And now you ruined my new green tunic." Loki grumbled.

"Technically—"

"If we're talking about technicalities, then I should reserve the right of getting out of this mess."

"You mean, the mess mess, or the mess mess mess?"

"What do you think?"

"Um…the mess mess mess that landed us in this mess mess is…?"

"I asked you a question, you asked me a question back?"

"Okay. How about we focus on getting the hell out of here first?"

After they carefully climbed out of the muck, Loki activated a cleaning spell, and their clothes were cleaned. "Come on, let's do this! Nothing funner than pranking a god!" Gabriel, who was in charge of moving the vessel now, bounced on his feet, an excited mad gleam in his eye. "And I totally don't look weird talking to myself, because there is no one to hear me!"

Loki sighed. "You spoke too soon, idiot." He pulled Gabriel's gaze to the frightened stableboy who had witnessed Loki's spell and Gabriel 'monologue'. Gabriel snapped his fingers, and he crumpled to the ground. "I suppose I should put some horrible memories—"

"The memory of you is enough to occupy him for the rest of his life."

"My face isn't that terrible."

"FOCUS."

Gabriel started moving, and soon entered the busy market. Loki hitched a gasp as everyone's gaze passed over their vessel, but Gabriel manuevered them through the throngs. "Relax, Loki. Now which way?"

"I thought it would be obvious?" Loki's mind voice was dry. "Or did you just miss that ridiculously golden giant castle on a cloud?"

"That is some seriously cool stuff." Gabriel titled his head up to look at the castle, not bothering to use mind speak. "Makes it more fun to wreck!"

"Okay. Invisibility spell - check. Passage - check. Gabriel, go through the main door. We're invisible."

"I can see~."

"Horrible pun."

As they drifted into the palace without anyone detecting them. The grandeur of the palace was as familiar to Loki as the back of his hand, and he gently guided Gabriel through the hallways and had to stop him from seizing a king-sized chocolate bar.

"So, what's the plan?" Loki asked.

Gabriel shrugged. "I dunno. Spook your family when they're all together in one place? Cause them massive grief?"

"You know, they are my family after all." Loki began thoughtfully.

"Don't tell me you're backing out."

"So they should be pranked even harder."

The two tricksters found the entire royal family in the dining room, where chocolate pudding was being served. Thor, a giant big brute with a shock of golden hair and a giant hammer by his side was gobbling down his sixth bowl when his spoon was suddenly stolen.

"Wha…"

Then his pudding was gone. "Where did my pudding go?" Frigga looked at him, concerned, then her eyes widened.

He found out where the pudding went. It was on his head, dribbling slowly into his ear and generally sticking everywhere.

Odin frowned, his expression stern. "Thor, do stop playing around. I would've thought that Loki was bad enough with his pranks."

Loki winced.

Gabriel felt a flare of anger for the old goat. "Oh, he is so getting a punch from an archangel. Maybe he needs to know that he's not in charge."

Thor was still trying to proclaim his innocence when a flying pie hit square on Odin's face.

Blueberry sauce dripped down his face.

"Alright, that is ENOUGH." Odin warned, as he cleaned his face. "Thor—"

"IT WAS NOT ME."

Frigga looked helplessly between the two of them. There were no servants present in the room, yet she had not seen Thor reach for the pie. It simply—

Wine cascaded over Odin's shirt, staining it red. He stood up in anger, his eyes sweeping around the room.

Thor stood up as well, though he didn't know why he did, and received chocolate mousse smack in his face. By now, his hair was messed, his face had brown chocolate smears and his shirt was dripping. Odin wasn't looking much better. It appeared Frigga was the only one spared.

"You have upset the god of food and desserts and sweets and awesomeness!" Gabriel shouted, his voice magnified and echoing.

"You can't be the god of so many things."

"Which means you shall suffer, not only by food, but by your…emotions?" His statement ended in a question.

"Makes no sense." Loki sighed. "But it's my turn to speak, right?"

"You got it."

They switched positions, Loki now taking control. "Well, well, well," He drawled, none of his worries or fear showing in his voice, which was as smooth as the pudding in Thor's hair. The whole royal family had stiffened at the sound of his voice, and only now did Thor whisper, "Loki?" incredulously.

"Of course it's me you dumb oaf." Loki snorted, sounding more like himself than the past few years. "What did you think? The god of awesomeness…"

"…is I," Gabriel cut in swiftly, and the family jumped at the sound of another disembodied voice. "Really, Odin, you should've improved your castle security. You can't imagine how easy it was coming here. I'd say your guards are taking a little…nap, don't worry. I did spot some nice artefacts on the way. I might or might not have swiped some."

"Really?"

"No, you dumb oaf."

Loki cleared his throat. "But anyway. Back to your punishment." The three members of the royal family were still staring in surprise when the lights blacked out, putting them in eternal darkness.

Then the show started.

—

Later on…

"It seems like we've been the source of too many people's screams."

"I'm telling you, this totally doesn't count as pranking."

"What is it then?"

"Haunting? Blackmailing? Threatening?"

"Having fun?"

Sorry, I originally wanted to post this on April Fool's Day but got carried away by other…stuff.

Until next time!